My Two Centsss - Battleground Predictions (with Chrisss & Skitz)
By Super Chrisss & SkitZ
Oct 4, 2013 - 3:02:14 PM
Chrisss: 48.0 Skitz: 46.0
Chrisss: Ah, fall. I love this time of the year. Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday - plenty of things to get excited about. Unfortunately, it also means I have to deal with you more often than usual due to WWE's hectic Pay-Per-View schedule.
SkitZ: Wow you really know how to hit me where it hurts, Chrissstopher. Luckily for you however, I'm a glutton for punishment (so Dolph Ziggler minus the peroxide and affinity for pink).
Chrisss: Don't take it like that, buddy. I do appreciate your company, no matter how many shots of vodka I've already downed. Speaking of heavy drinking, how much did you need in order to get through that horrific episode of Raw last Monday?
SkitZ: I take solace in the fact that not all of those three hours were a complete waste. I managed to clean some dishes, eat a burrito and walk my dog within that time span so yay for that. Plus, Big Show's crazed expression after finally blowing a gasket was all kinds of hilarious. You need to take the good with the bad, dude.
Chrisss: That's a valid point, Mr. Optimistic. Big Show going into ape mode as well as The Rhodes Family killing it in the ring with Triple H and Stephanie did make for some entertaining television. Unfortunately, everything else was hot garbage. WWE Creative has been on such a roll the past few months. Did they take a night off last Monday and just book one random match after another? Such as this one...
Kickoff Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
SkitZ: People have voiced their complaints regarding this being left off the main card but I'm backing WWE here. There's absolutely no storyline backdrop or gritty history between the two to support its placement on the pay per view. If I were dumb enough to pay for this halfhearted show, then it'd be a different story. Dolph and Damien however are being trusted to rile up the Buffalo crowd right as Battleground hits the air and, in that regard, I'm sure they'll deliver. The only problem I have with Ziggler/Sandow this Sunday is that it sorta fucks up their potential World Title program in the future once Mr. Etiquette cashes in.
Chrisss: I'm torn. On the one hand, kudos to WWE for getting both men on the card (kind of) and giving the fans a reason to tune into the pre-show on YouTube. At the same time, this match has ZERO backstory whatsoever. It's bad enough WWE randomly announced it during Raw, but they didn't even bother having the two superstars cross paths throughout the evening, Hell, Sandow wasn't even on the show! I haven't read the SmackDown spoilers, but I know Sandow lost to Santino on Main Event. There's your uncrowned world heavyweight champion, ladies and gentlemen - jobbing to Santino.
SkitZ: On a shitty B-show to boot. I've complained about it ad naseum but this shit with management handing a guy one of the briefcases and saying "Hey great work so far, valued employee! So yeah we're going to run with you down the road a bit. Don't get discouraged in the meantime if your booking seems to teeter off." is fucking ridiculous. Secondary title or not, you're grooming this guy to be a future WORLD CHAMPION for fuck sakes! And in doing so, there has to be some rhyme or reason to his week-to-week endeavors. Sandow can't further establish his character or build a cunt fart of momentum if he's jobbing to every last shmuck on the roster.
Chrisss: Yup, that seems to be WWE's gameplan when it comes to Money in the Bank winners not named John Cena or Randy Orton - job them out until they cash-in the briefcase. It's terrible, terrible logic that hinders the wrestler rather than grooming him for that promotion. The funny (sad?) thing is, I really can't see Sandow knocking off Ziggler this Sunday. Ziggler may no longer be in the world title picture, but he's in a much more prominent position than the Intellectual Jobber of the Masses. It wouldn't surprise me to see Sandow cash in later on in the evening, though.
SkitZ: Me either to be honest. The hardcore rules stipulation tacked on could render the eventual winner prone to a blindside cash-in. Considering Damien's been about as fortunate as Ted DiBiase in the last couple months, WWE would be wise to pull the switch now while Sandow still possesses a shred of relevance. I'd say the poor guy has paid his penance already. Throw that well-trained dog a bone!
Chrisss: (Sigh) I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the possibility of Sandow cashing in, as you've become more interested in talking about later events in the evening, You and your ADHD, tsk-tsk.
Chrisss' pick: Ziggler wins
SkitZ's pick: Ziggler wins
Intercontinental Championship: Curtis Axel (c.) vs. R-Truth
There are so many reasons to hate this match. You could hate it because of the participants (Axel has been booked like shit since SummerSlam, and who cares about R-Truth anymore?). OR you could hate it by the way it came about (Axel loses in a random, non-title match, so Truth gets a title shot). Either way, I couldn't care less about this match, I really couldn't.
SkitZ: Eh... shoddy midcard title bouts like these are commonplace on lesser PPVs. The Creative Team are really doing the bare minimum to keep Hennig current while Heyman invests the majority of his time in Ryback's sordid affairs. The company threw Axle into a last second title defense against Kofi at NOC. At this rate, I suspect McGillicutty will retain against Santino at HIAC, Justin Gabriel at Survivor Series and El Torito at TLC before dropping the belt to Khali in a dark match on RAW come January.
Sky's really the limit with this kid. I mean goddamn... how many Heyman guys does Paul need to acquire publicly on television before he can sever ties with Axle and save face?
Chrisss: Apparently, a lot more. I think management is slowly realizing that Axel has been a flop as both IC Champion and Paul Heyman guy. They know that if he drops the IC title anytime soon, he's pretty much screwed, regardless of his association with Heyman, which hasn't exactly skyrocketed his career as officials probably wanted it to. However, an R-Truth victory accomplishes what, exactly? A transitional champion at most, but we already have Kofi for that. I say give Axel a strong win on Sunday and stop making him look like nothing but CM Punk's punching bag.
SkitZ: Troof. If Axel's agonizing mic work and flawed booking hadn't doomed him in already, the countless ass beatings he's received from Punk may have served as the final nail in the coffin. Watching McGillicutty on TV reminds me of banging a fat chick - fun until your friends find out. Nah but seriously, Hennig front and center sucks the joy and hope out of my mood every time. And Heyman standing beside him only makes matters worse. The business partners are worlds apart and don't let Hennig's physique fool you... he lands at the bottom of the totem pole.
Chrisss: 100% agreed. I wish they hadn't been so fast as to put the IC title around him but the damage has been done and it will be hard to ship him back to Superstars or NXT. I guess we're stuck with Axel for the forseeable future.
What say you, Candyman? Does Truth pull a rabbit out of his hat and leave Brooklyn with some new hardware? Or will this be a forgettable title match that Axel scrapes by thanks to some Paul E. interference?
SkitZ: I'm guessing the latter. You'd swear it wasn't the case but Axle's somehow managed to scrape by as IC Champ for almost four months now (and I don't foresee him dropping the strap soon). WWE's midcard is pretty much a mess with the company paying far more attention to their tag team division nowadays. As a result, the second tier of their product has suffered so Hennig waltzing around with the Intercontinental Title isn't necessarily a con. My money's on the Imperfect Son scoring a pinfall victory either by shenanigans or with his finisher. Since we're dreading this match, watch the big wigs give it 14 minutes.
Chrisss: I doubt it. This match is prime target for a "Boring" chant by the happy audience and WWE would be foolish to give it any longer than ten minutes time. But did you just complain about WWE putting the emphasis back on tag team wrestling? What is wrong with you, son! The midcard titles have been treated as meaningless for quite some time now. At least we have an actual tag team division present to hold our interest. Anyways, fuck this match, let's talk about something a bit more exciting, shall we? (With the key words being "a bit").
Chrisss' pick: Axel retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Axel retains the title
WWE Divas Championship: Aj Lee (c.) vs. Brie Bella
SkitZ: Bitch this is HARDLY an improvement. The whole AJ/Total Divas angle is already lagging and Brie becoming Bryan's fiancée recently doesn't change my outlook whatsoever. I glance at the reigning Divas Champeen and it's quite apparent management isn't utilizing the Geek Goddess properly. This will probably earn me some IWC scorn but Lee's current position reminds me of Jericho being forced to settle for Piper, Steamboat & Snuka at WM25. AJ deserves better and I'm not sure if this is simply a means to keep the psycho chick occupied during the doldrums of fall but it blows chunks. None of these women are on Lee's level (literally) and therefore meddling with unfit competition is growing tiresome.
AJ better keep curb stomping these bitches until they throw someone valuable at her.
Chrisss: Yeah, I'm not really feeling this bout either. Bella's recent face turn and relationship with Bryan feels too sudden and forced. I'm happy WWE is being open with their relationship and not ignoring it, but what happened to the match-up with Natalya that was being teased post-Night of Champions? Much like the IC title bout, this feels like a rushed and filler match for a throwaway PPV, nothing more, nothing less.
SkitZ: Exactly. I worry about WWE hot shotting the butterfly belt onto Bella because of her relationship status but AJ retaining appears to be a safe bet. Hopefully, management realizes they have something special with Lee and reserve her eventual title loss for a formidable opponent. The former RAW GM losing her prized possession on Sunday and winning it back a month from now doesn't really put a dent in those plans but I'm still vehemently against it.
Chrisss: Yeah, I'm glad WWE has cooled it with the hot-shotting of titles in recent times. If not, Alberto del Rio would probably be a nine-time world champion by now! But seriously, my money is on Aj keeping her gold/pink intact at Battleground. I know a lot of people expect Miss Lee to lose her title to a Total Diva in the near future, but I see her keeping it for a long, long time. Maybe until some NXT divas finally get an overdue call-up to the main roster (cough*Paige, Emma, Bailey*cough).
Since I [unfortunately] brought up Del Rio's name, why don't we talk about The Mexican Aristocrat and the rumours of his former man-slave returning to his corner on Sunday?
Chrisss' pick: Aj retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Aj retains the title
Hardcore match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto del Rio (c.) vs. Rob van Dam
SkitZ: Wait... legit rumors or what you're predicting to happen? I swear, you're fucking impossible sometimes. Creative kept this rivalry humming along last month by ending ADR/RVD at Night of Champions in a non-finish. Now Dorito's in an environment which his challenger is all too familiar with. Couple that with the fact Berty's former stooge is now cheering for the other team and the odds seem almost insurmountable. You know what though? The other day it dawned on me - Del Rio's much more digestible when he's carrying gold rather than chasing it. Hence why I fully endorse the Mexican Aristocrat holding the poor man's WWE Title indefinitely.
Care to agree with your superior?
Chrisss: Hell no! I got a laugh when the announcers said Del Rio had the advantage this coming Sunday because of his "newfound aggression". Ummm, what? It's the same old Del Rio and his opponent is ECW original, RVD. Either Vince was feeding them lines again, or they're higher than Rob.
You still don't get it. Del Rio is a million times more tolerable when he's not competing for the world title, period. I still don't get why a lot of people have been jumping on Del Rio's bandwagon lately. Sure, he has great matches on a consistent basis, but until he finds a personality and/or crowd connection, I can't fully invest in him or his matches.
Anyways, Del Rio bashing aside, what do you see happening on Sunday, considering that RVD's contract is reportedly almost up?
SkitZ: Let's face it...we have no idea what Van Dam's contract entails. Dirt sheets are reporting the supposed deal runs out sometime this month and yet I fully expect the spot monkey to work a full schedule thru 'Mania. RVD's farewell tour just got underway so what's the point of derailing it three months in? That's like treating a decent looking broad to the most expensive restaurant in town and being satisfied with second base. I refuse to take the bait. Either Del Rio escapes with the belt after he and Ricardo pull a fast one on Van Dam or the Flying Unitard captures the World Title and Sandow invokes his MITB opportunity.
Chrisss: So many bold statements tonight, Candyman. I always knew you had a pair of balls (#pause)! See, I think RVD is going to leave for a while because it was the hectic schedule that made his stay with TNA for such a long time. I'm pretty sure his contract does have a limited amount of dates, and WWE has probably burned through most of them already. I think Del Rio escapes with the title, but we get another rematch at Hell in a Cell, and THAT'S when RVD will be written off TV, probably due to some sick spot (although PG HiaC matches haven't been very violent). Either way, I doubt RVD captures gold on Sunday. Sandow cashing in could very well happen.
SkitZ: Even if Del Rio prevails? Mmmm I guess Van Dam could snap if he's shafted again and then leave ADR in a crumpled heap (at which point Damien would sprint down and do the dirty deed). Sandow strutting around as World Heavyweight Champion just sounds so full of win and I can't picture him clinging to the briefcase anywhere near as long as Ziggler did. What will become of Rodriquez though if RVD does indeed disappear for a stretch? Odds of him and a Santino/Hornswoggle/Khali faction could very well put me in an irreversible coma. The guy's a lost puppy without Berty barking orders at him.
Chrisss: That's the thing with Sandow. I wouldn't be surprised if he cashes in on Sunday, but I feel he should hold onto that briefcase as long as possible. At least when Ziggler cashed in, he was fresh off feuds with Cena and Team Hell No. If Sandow cashes in at Battleground, it will be the first time many have seen him since his feud with Cody ended shortly after SummerSlam. As for Ricardo, you better be wrong about that worst-case scenario, 'comedy' stable (shudder).
And hey, speaking of Rhodes...
Chrisss' pick: Del Rio retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Del Rio retains the title; Sandow cashes in MitB
Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins
Truth be told, this is the one match I'd be willing to pay money to see. Partly because of the story that has been told to get here, partly because of the participants, and partly because of the unpredictable outcome. Since the tag titles are not on the line, you'd think The Rhodes have a shot of winning, but is it too early for them to be reinstated?
SkitZ: Doc explained it perfectly in his Battleground preview column. In the short span since NOC, this angle has superseded Bryan versus The Establishment as the most captivating story on WWE programming. With bits of realism intertwined and the personal nature on display each week, anything involving The Rhodes Family is now must-see television (take notes, Miz). Dusty won't exactly cancel out Ambrose's presence on Sunday but he certainly adds to the drama. After teasing fans with a Cody/Goldust payoff for so long, I'm psyched to see where this band of brothers shtick leads.
Chrisss: Fair enough. I do think we're getting a heel turn on Sunday, if not from Rodriguez, then from a Rhodes family member. Maybe Goldust will force his team to lose, and then reveal HHH signed him to a contract if Cody lost? Or Dusty screws his boys in order to keep his job at NXT? I don't know, I can't help but shake the feeling that shenanigans are going to factor into the match outcome. It would eventually give us that Cody/Goldust match down the road we should have gotten at last year's Wrestlemania, so there's that. If I have to pick a winner, though, I'm going with The Shield, simply because there are too many variables standing in the way of a Rhodes victory at Battleground.
SkitZ: The Rhodes trio are already facing an uphill battle though. What sense would it make for them to split now when they've been at such an overwhelming disadvantage since the beginning? H's evil empire is comprised of enough components where they don't need any additional members. I realize a swerve here and a turn there is practically guaranteed over the course of a lengthy storyline but hitting the trigger now would be a tad premature. Vince & Co. are booking The Shield incredibly strong since the young group aligned themselves with Trips and thus I believe an upset at Battleground would add a new wrinkle to the saga. Let the Rhode Warriors (not clicking?) turn the tide in their favor I say!
Chrisss: Yeah, you may be right. Like I said, Triple H & co. might have an ace up their sleeve, and I'm sensing a...dusty finish come Sunday. Again, that's why I'm pumped for that match - it really could go either way. Going back to our friend The Doc and his theory, I'm more excited for the outcome than anything else on the PPV, which might be a bad thing considering we still have a WWE Championship match to get to. But before that, we still have to discuss...
Chrisss' pick: The Shield wins
SkitZ's pick: The Rhodes Family wins
CM Punk vs. Ryback
SkitZ: This match-up just leaves me feeling indifferent. Don't get me wrong... Punk could pull a passable match out of a paper bag but the Ryback route again? Role reversal accounted for, I find my interest waning whenever Sheffield is booked for a standard wrestling match. Strip away tables and weapons and the dude puts people straight to sleep (with his mediocrity mind you). I'm half willing to bet crowds join along in chanting "Goldberg" just to keep their eyelids open while Skipper's performing. Wrestling Logic 101 suggests that Punk won't collect a clean 'W' until the blowoff match and we haven't reached that stage yet sooooooo.....
Chrisss: Isn't it ironic that we may very well get Punk vs. Ryback at/inside Hell in a Cell for the second straight year? Logic dictates Punk will lose via Heyman interference on Sunday, setting up a rematch in three weeks, but damn, can Punk really sustain another PPV loss here? Rock (twice), 'Taker, Lesnar, Heyman/Axel, and now Ryback? Jesus. Punk sure is putting his credibility on the line by taking all these losses, which is why I'm thinking we'll get a double-DQ or something of that nature as neither guy can really afford another 'L' on their resume.
SkitZ: Yes in an interesting development, Mr. Sobriety appears hell bent on flip flopping his win/loss PPV record from a year ago. While enjoying a record breaking stint as WWE Champion, Punk finished his 2012 campaign 10-0-1. And how's he faring thus far in '13? A paltry 1-6. Brooks better right the ship sometime soon or he'll start drawing Jericho comparisons which isn't exactly the flattering sentiment it once was. Nevertheless, I too see Punk/Ryback going haywire in the closing moments and prompting a disqualification. The Great White Hype stands tall at Battleground and the BITW waits an extra three weeks to silence the lovebirds.
God dammit... why couldn't this be a Street Fight or something? WWE should've played to Skipper's strengths and created a running gimmick in which all of Sheffield's matches are contested under 'Ryback Rules' (i.e. an excuse to ignore the usual restrictions).
Chrisss: I actually like that idea. It would be an interesting twist which would give his character a new dimension. On the bright side for the Meat-Eater, he seems rejeuvanted ever since this partnership with Heyman began. Is it enough to silence Punk at Battleground? Not likely, but hopefully they can top their HiaC match from 2012.
Six matches later...we're here (cue creepy Wyatt Family music).
Chrisss' pick: No Contest
SkitZ's pick: No Contest/Disqualification
WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
Let's be honest. Their Night of Champions match left a LOT to be desired. The action was good, but not great. The result was surprising, but not satisfying. Will we see an improvement on Sunday? Yes, but I doubt it will be their MOTY candidate - that will be at Hell in a Cell, me says. Sunday's match is simply another chapter in the Bryan/Orton saga.
SkitZ: It is and I detest straightforward rematches with no new dynamics. This is essentially a carbon copy of NOC except for the title being held in "abeyance"; WWE's word of the month. D-Bry can't recreate the magic he had with Cena and he's fought Orton multiple times prior to SummerSlam so there's no added intrigue. Their series of matches will be solid but don't expect anything above four stars.
Randy's newfound aggression would come in handy if this weren't an ordinary match but Creative strangely decided to only stipulate the World Title bout which still puzzles me.
Oh and due to the shady activity on Scott Armstrong's part last month, bring in Miz's old man to referee for shits and giggles.
Chrisss: Personally, I would have preferred an hour long IronMan match between the two. So what if they had to scrap Axel vs. Truth and the divas match to make time for it? We would have been left with four stellar matches (plus the Kickoff match). They might as well have called the event Vengeance if there wasn't going to be any special gimmick taking place. It amuses me how commercials advertise Battleground as "the very first PPV of it's kind" when the buyrate will likely make it a one-time only PPV.
So does the company put the title back on Orton? They can't risk putting it on Bryan and then stripping him AGAIN. After all, think about those PPV refunds from NOC!
SkitZ: We've reached a juncture where I don't anticipate Danielson regaining the belt again until WM30. Rather I envision him chasing the champion thru December and having obstacle after obstacle thrown at him before ultimately winning the 2014 Rumble. Orton's turn and push necessitates a solid run with the title in order to reach its full potential.
Their feud (and my patience) would benefit greatly from switching into another gear. It may be time for management to pull that Iron Man card you alluded to out of their pocket.
Chrisss: The question is, can the company keep Bryan's momentum from cooling despite failing to regain the title on multiple occasions? I hope so. Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing Bryan take a backseat at Survivor Series and/or TLC while someone else challenges Orton for the title (Punk, maybe, or even Ziggler). Maybe have Bryan face ADR - or Sandow - for the world title after failing to beat Orton and have a unification match down the line, possibly at Mania. I have no idea what's in store for D-Bryan, but I can't see him escaping with the WWE title for the third PPV in a row.
SkitZ: Title unification? How about floating back down from fantasy land and joining the rest of us in the real world? Never gonna happen, fool. The company will knock D-Bry from the title scene for awhile to keep it fresh but don't count on it lasting for long. Goatface is still extremely over; we've passed the point of the novelty wearing off as Bryan's already a made man. And furthermore, his ascension to the top is still in the early stages so fizzling out shouldn't be a concern. We know Danielson will bring his A game... can we trust that Orton follows suit?
Chrisss: One can certainly hope so. I've been enjoying this more sadistic side of Orton since NOC as it's a reminder that he does in fact have a personality.
Chrisss' pick: Orton wins the title
SkitZ's pick: Orton wins the title
Well, that should do it for Sunday's show. Any final words before our next rendez-vous in three weeks' time?
SkitZ: Yeah. When the fuck do I start getting paid for doing this?
Chrisss: What's the matter, your mom took away your allowance?
SkitZ: Close... It's my father actually. But that's besides the point, foreigner. LOP honestly expects me to cover these shitty wrestling shows with money from my own pockets? How unreasonable is that? I should be compensated AND honoured publicly for my unwavering loyalty. I hope you're copying and pasting this in an email to the site administrator.
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As always, thanks for reading.