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Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE Money in the Bank Pay Per View Review with Match Ratings & Grade
By Mr. Tito
Jun 30, 2014 - 1:19:13 AM
The EXCELLENCE IN COLUMN WRITING has returned and this time, it's reviewing a non-Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, and SummerSlam Pay Per View. That's right, WWE Money in the Bank had what I keep referring to as "sense of urgency" to want me to spend my hard earned money (on pizza, as my friend has the WWE Network) and time to see this show. I keep preaching that "TIME = MONEY" and shitty non-Big 3 Pay Per Views are honestly not worth my time. I know, I should review those because I'm almighty Mr. Tito and I should cover everything. Well, I write these columns for FREE and any Pay Per View purchases or WWE Network comes straight out of my income and also takes away time from my family. Thus, I pick and choose...
And I chose to watch Money in the Bank. I really wanted to see the Money in the Bank MAIN EVENT between John Cena, Randy Orton, Kane, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt, and Sheamus. That was what made me ask around to see this show on someone's WWE Network. I had a reason to want to see this Pay Per View. That's the problem with WWE's Pay Per View system... NO reason to watch. Next month is WWE Battleground. I guarantee you that I won't be seeing that Pay Per View as it will be completely mailed in by the WWE as they prepare for SummerSlam 2014.
The sad part about tonight's show, however, was the fact that the WWE Title main event was actually rushed! They had less than a half an hour to get all of the video hype packages, entrances, and then do the actual match with 8 wrestlers. Why? Well, we just HAD to have Goldust/Stardust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow vs. Adam Rose, Rusev vs. Big E Langston and Summer Rae vs. Layla on this show! Those were MUST BUY matches for many fans out there, right? Fucking RAW matches! Check that, those were Smackdown matches! What a disorganized mess! Clearly, the WWE was rushing that Main Event with how some of the entrances were cut short and how quick the ending occurred. That's humiliating. The 1 match that everybody came to see was half-assed by the WWE due to time constraints. The Creative Team and the management that oversees them (Vince/Triple H) should be ashamed. It's as if they NEVER ran a WWE show before.
Overall, I thought that Money in the Bank delivered relatively well, particularly on the 3 matches that most wanted to see: Wyatts vs. Usos, Money in the Bank Briefcase match, and Money in the Bank WWE Title match. A surprise to me was Naomi vs. Paige, whom I thought wrestled a solid Women's match with maybe one blown spot off the top rope. I struggled overall with Rusev vs. Big E Langston, but nobody could doubt how badass Big E's spear was through the ropes on Rusev! That was DEVASTATING!
But still, FINGER OF SHAME to WWE Management for fumbling the time management of the Main Event. That's uncalled for. They could have EASILY cancelled Summer Rae and Layla and nobody would have been upset.
Anyway, onto the show review, match by match.
I thought WWE Network did a good job holding up with just a few glitches here and there. On my buddy's Playstation 4, we occasionally get the High Definition failing in order for the back-up, Standard Definition, to kick in. Several times, it would glitch and repeat a brief segment of the show. Otherwise, WWE Network held up and that's a big part of how this Network will continue to grow. They can never crash on Pay Per View night.
Show started off with the Pregame show. "Meh". Not sure how much I care about hearing the contrived opinions from Booker T, Alex Riley, or Christian. It would almost be amusing if the WWE pulled a Bill Simmons and put a non-wrestler on that panel to give their opinion. Imagine if they put me on the set to give my 2 cents as a fan? That could get ugly...
Daniel Bryan came out and he stated that his condition appears to be worsening and might actually require another surgery. Not good... What a shame, as he accomplished so much at Wrestlemania 30. But then, freakin' Bo Dallas comes out to liven up the segment. I'm going to eat crow on that guy... He's growing on me. After cutting a hilarious promo on Bryan, "a pain in the neck", Bo Dallas was soon smacked down verbally by Daniel Bryan. That "Bo-Ner" chant will stay with Bo Dallas forever and I enjoyed Bryan's clever "Bo-Leave" comment. Pretty good segment and good for Bo to get some facetime with Bryan.
First match of the night was Wyatts vs. Usos. I enjoyed this tag team match, very much. Nice fluid tag match as both teams have been working together for the past few months and the chemistry was there. I continue to be impressed with how the WWE is booking the Usos. I fully expected that the Wyatts would win tonight but the Usos won the match cleanly and looked strong in doing so. It was a nice hot opener that helped set the pace of a pretty solid Boston crowd all night. [ *** ].
Secondly, we had Paige vs. Naomi. I fully expected that the Naomi push train was starting tonight, but to my surprise, Paige finished her strong with an impressive finisher. I thought both ladies showed that the Divas division has some legitimate competitors and together, they put on a pretty good match. The only bad spot was the top rope botch which for all I know, could have been planned with the way both were selling injuries. I don't know... But other than that blemish, I enjoyed it. I should have known with the way the camera kept zooming in on Cameron that Naomi had no shot to win it. It wouldn't surprise me that a rematch occurs tomorrow night on RAW for the full heel turn of Cameron. Oh joy. [ *** ]
In what was a complete waste of time, Adam Rose defeated Paul Revere... Oh, I mean Damien Sandow. Isn't it hilarious how Sandow won the B+ Player Money in the Bank match last year and yet for 2014, he's jobbing to Adam Rose? This match sucked, as it was short and had nothing in it for the guy losing the match. I like the Adam Rose gimmick and entrance, but he looks a little thin and unsure of himself in the ring to catch on as a wrestler. But this could have been saved for RAW but instead, it eats away at precious time on the WWE clock for this Pay Per View. [ No Stars! ]
The MATCH OF THE NIGHT honors goes to the B+ Player Money in the Bank match between Rob Van Dam, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, and Dolph Ziggler with Wade Barrett out with an injury. Electric match! If WWE Battleground has Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins, I may seriously see that Pay Per View just to see that match. Those two have amazing chemistry together! If there was a solid reason to break up the Shield then it was to get those 2 wrestlers to fight each other. Rollins took some SICK bumps off the ladders that I can imagine will hurt him the following day. Especially that one off the top of the ladder that landed on the ladder that was laying horizontal and then falling from there. Just stick stuff... Rollins is truly the Jeff Hardy of 2014, although much more polished and a better deliverer of offense. You could just see star potential of Ambrose in this match. He sold the shoulder injury and came back to some serious crowd cheers when he went after Rollins. Kofi had a nice spot where he jumped off the ladder and bounced off the ropes in mid air. Dolph was active throughout and getting loud pops, but you know that the WWE won't care. Fucking Kane came down and helped Rollins win the match that was almost won by Ambrose! God damn, man, Kane will never go away! I was highly entertained by this match and look forward to more Rollins vs. Ambrose. [ ****1/2 ]
Now, do I agree with Seth Rollins as the Money in the Bank briefcase winner? Considering how second-rate the WWE made this match with the vacated WWE Title in the other match, I would venture to say "no". But Rollins was just turned heel recently and in addition to that, just turned into a singles wrestler on his own. He still has some room to grow before he's worthy of this briefcase honor. Personally, I don't think he's ready for the WWE Title yet this year. Too many established guys or other up & comers that the WWE wants to get the title before Rollins. I hope that I'm wrong, but I just worry that he's not quite ready for any WWE Title consideration yet. I blame the WWE for slapping this match together, which only had its full list of opponents announced last week, for a WWE Title shot in the first place.
Stardust/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel was next. Geesh, horrible looking tights for Curtis Axel now. Looked like he was wearing a 1 piece women's bathing suit and looked more feminine when his chest was sticking out of it. It's all about look and presentation, kiddies. This was a RAW match to me. Nothing special, nothing spectacular. Ryback and Axel could hardly impress when they worked on Goldust forever in this match and it seems as though Ryback has put on some weight recently to really slow him down. Goldust/Stardust won the match with a roll-up and then after the match, tried to hit a tag team finisher that they almost botched. At the very least, they're trying to have a tag team finisher which is how most great tag teams of all time get over. See Road Warriors, Dudleys, Demolition, Brainbusters, etc. Just a typical televised tag match and I don't know why this needed to be on Pay Per View. [ *1/2 ]
Rusev and Lana came down to cut a promo and then Big E Langston (or just "Big E" now) came down for a match. Big E was trying HARD to on the USA stuff with the tights and waving an American flag. What WWE needs to realize is that the wrestler, Big E, needs worked on and added gimmicks won't save him. Match was OK, nothing spectacular other than Big E's devastating spear on Rusev. That was impressive and in my opinion, WWE should have went for a double-countout on that finish. Instead, Rusev shook it off as if nothing happened (BAD psychology) and finished Big E off with his kicks and stolen Camel Clutch finisher. Probably a RAW match but it's worth checking out only for the Big E spear that drove Rusev to the outside mat. It was a thing of beauty... [ ** ]
Stephanie segment with the Bella Twins was OK... Was it just me or did Brie Bella appear to have a slight baby bump? Who knows? Brie was laughing at Stephanie's segment with Vicki Guerrero from RAW and then Stephanie had Brie escorted out by security. Decent segment...
To waste even more time, the WWE actually had Summer Rae vs. Layla. After I posted my Money in the Bank predictions, I was reading how this match might appear on the show. I brushed it off and said "bullshit", thinking maybe it might show up on the preshow. Sure enough, this was the match before the main event and I looked at the clock and wondered how the WWE would make the Main Event worthwhile with time. This match was BRUTAL and actually set the Divas Division back despite Paige/Naomi doing a damn fine job advancing it earlier in the night. Who on earth actually cares about who Fandango is dating? Somehow, Layla won the match and thus gets Fandango in the end, I suppose. To think, this match actually helped cause the Main Event to be reduce in quality due to time constraints. [ No Stars and a FINGER OF SHAME ]
The main event was the WWE Title Money in the Bank match between John Cena, Randy Orton, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Roman Reigns, Cesaro, and Bray Wyatt. Their entrances were rushed because the WWE was obviously short on time by now. Should have scrapped the damn Layla/Summer Rae match!!! Fast paced action and with 8 wrestlers, you'll have a constant flow of at least 2 healthy wrestlers in the ring at all times. Often, it was 4 at a time doing battle and it got really interesting. The part where they had a ladder horizontal between both halves of one ladder was cool, especially as they tilted the ladder. Unique idea that I do not recall being tried in the past. It was funny seeing Cesaro hanging on for dear life after Roman Reigns lifted the ladder platform. Orton got busted open the hard-way when a falling ladder caught him on the top of the head. Not as much high risk as the previous match, as the wrestlers were focused on hitting many finisher spots given the limited time. Kane was trying to help Orton win the match but ultimately, SUPER CENA overcame them and grabbed the WWE Titles. Pretty good overall, but very rushed thanks to the poor clock management of Vince/Triple H tonight. Dumbasses! [ ***3/4 ]
WWE is banking on John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar to draw huge at SummerSlam 2014 and to probably entice DirecTV and Dish to carry the Pay Per View. In addition, the 6 month subscriptions from February are rolling over and WWE needs something significant to get those renewed. I figure that the WWE will have Lesnar win at SummerSlam to become WWE Champion and then lose the title back to John Cena at Night of Champions in September. Brock Lesnar is reportedly penciled in to wrestle at that show.
In some ways, I agree with the Internet Wrestling Community about having someone other than John Cena win tonight... Brock vs. Cena gives the WWE strong revenue in the short-term but gives WWE nothing long-term. However, I would rather the WWE be a little more patient in the development of Bray Wyatt, Cesaro, and Roman Reigns as main eventers before making a bad decision on booking them against Brock Lesnar. I just don't see those 3 as big enough draws yet to carry a match with Brock now as I do with John Cena. Plus, Brock would be seeking revenge for the Extreme Rules 2012 loss. Psychology is already there, folks...
LAST WORD: I was entertained by 4 matches tonight while discouraged by the rest of the card. But what I thought would deliver mostly did and that's good with me. WWE can't fumble its clock management, however. People tune into WWE Pay Per Views mostly for the Main Event. Why get in a bunch of crappy matches when it actually harms the match that everybody wanted to see? Doesn't make much sense to me... But even if it was rushed, the Main Event was pretty good and Cena vs. Lesnar at SummerSlam will be awesome. I'll go "B" on this show as my overall show grade. Mostly entertaining with a bunch of questionable matches that shouldn't be on Pay Per View.
SO JUST CHILL... 'TIL THE NEXT EPISODE!
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