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Posted in: Mr. Tito
Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE Battleground Pay Per View with Match Ratings and Show Grade
By Mr. Tito
Jul 23, 2017 - 11:11:24 PM

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Take 2... Mr. Tito here, exclusively here at LordsofPain.net / WrestlingHeadlines.com, to bring you attempt #2 to at writing this WWE Battleground Pay Per View. That's right, attempt #2. Why? Because ever since the Dogpatch of a Corporation called Microsoft forced me to install Windows 10, my computer randomly freezes and I found out with my Wordpad files, it won't save when you press the Save button during that freeze. Windows 8 was a perfectly fine operating system and was in-fact an improvement over the unstable Windows 7... But nooooooooooo, they had to give me a bloated piece of crap operating system on top of this.

I'm done with you, Microsoft. For ALL OF YOUR inventions whether it's Windows, Office, or Xbox... In the end, you made each of them either too bloated or too flawed compared to their previous versions. Seems like the further Bill Gates gets away from his company, the worse that things get. Attention to detail and trying to put out quality products should be a much but gaining a quick buck is apparently more important. Eat my shorts, Microsoft, as I'm shopping around for one of your competitors with my next laptop purchase.

No intro, onto my review.

Mr. Tito's PHAT WWE Battleground 2017 Review

Opening match was DAMN GREAT between Usos vs. New Day. Before the match, JBL said that this was a match between the "2 best teams of the last decade" and I thought about that for a second... Damn, he's kinda right. Though indicting of the tag wrestling in that decade, both Usos and New Day have been solid teams. When you place 2 veteran teams together, it's solid... However, this tag team match was exception and I'd argue that it's possibly the best matches that either team has ever had. It was GREAT! Aside from the Ladder Match at Wrestlemania 33, this was the best tag match of the year so far. [ **** 1/2 ] New Day wins in a thrilling finish from a match with many near falls. Go out of way to see this one!

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin wasn't bad... Considering that Corbin is a WWE product and not as seasoned internationally to mesh well with Nakamura, he did OK against a different type of opponent. I just didn't like the lowblow finish. It was one of those lame 50/50 booking type deals to protect both guys but I didn't see the attack afterward by Corbin as "protecting" Nakamura. What I see is Corbin beating his ass. Unless this feud is extended, that finish and beating afterward does nothing for Nakamura in the end. Then again, Corbin is the Money in the Bank briefcase holder... I guess you have to make him look strong at the moment, but why have the match if you can't have a legitimate finish? [ ***1/4 ]

Fatal 5 Way which to my surprise, was an Elimination Style match. Good to know that WWE will have different rules for their multi-person matches whenever they choose. Match was messy, as there was no structure... Just the usual 3 rest on the outside while 2 go at it in the ring. Lana and Tamina alliance but Becky Lynch made both tap. Then, Natalya did a quick roll up on Becky and held the tights. Then, Natalya pins Charlotte when she rolled up Charlotte and Charlotte hit her head on the bottom turnbuckle. Seriously, that was the finish. [ ** ]. Not excited AT ALL for Naomi vs. Natalya at SummerSlam 2017. Both have been around for a while and neither one is over aside from Naomi's highly produced entrance. If you've been around forever and fans are excited for 2 veterans at this point, placing them together at the #2 event won't help.

I was waiting around for something exciting to happen in the Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles match. Something just isn't clicking between the two. The in-ring stuff was crisp and pretty much flawless but there wasn't much emotion between the characters and not much from the crowd. There's just no heat. MAYBE it's the fact that BOTH guys were World Champions AT THE SAME TIME earlier in the year and yet now both are on the same brand fighting for the US Title. But I think that it's something else... After attacking Chris Jericho, there's just not much else to do with Owens as a heel. That's not helped by Owens look... When he does interviews, he's in a suit and looks like a badass heel... But then he wrestles in an outfit made for pick-up basketball. Huh? For all that Kevin Owens has been given, such as John Cena wins and the WWE Universal Title, he's on the midcard of a Smackdown Pay Per View now and struggling to make a great match with AJ Styles. Needs retooled. [ *** ] The talent is there but it's all about how it is packaged and presented.

John Cena, of course, defeats Rusev in a ridiculous gimmick Flag Match. Why wouldn't he? Cena has returned and he won't lose in his first match. Furthermore, Rusev is "damaged goods" based upon years upon years of losing. With the WWE's interest in Lana being stronger, Rusev has legitimately become Marc Mero at the end of his WWE career. Complete waste of legitimately good athletic talent. This buries him for good. Didn't like the match because the flag gimmick was the focus and disallowed the wrestlers from actually wrestling. [ *1/2 ]

Sami Zayn vs. Mike Kanellis was OK... Felt like a Smackdown televised match instead of anything exceptional that deserves to be on a Pay Per View. It was placed on the "death spot" for a reason. Before this match, we had Tyler Breeze/Fandango interacting with the Ascension. Like Night & Day when you see Usos/New Day and then NXT call-up struggling wrestlers who just haven't worked out well in the WWE. If wrestlers aren't doing well in the WWE, just send them back to NXT to be regular staples there? Oh, Zayn and Kanellis... [ ** ]

And the final match was a strange gimmick match between Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal. Somehow, there's a 60 second rule on doors being open that I was struggling to (a) follow and (b) care about. The cage made it very difficult to see the actual action in the ring, lots of yellow bars. Randy actually reversed Jinder's finish into an RKO but the Singh brothers were there to drag Mahal out of the inner cage. Orton, however, climbed out of it and now it was climbing out of the 2nd wall that allowed you to win. I feel like I'm stoned watching this bizarre match... I thought that the purpose of a cage match was to keep others out? Stupid, stupid, stupid... Shouldn't Orton find a few friends to help him out at ringside, too? Of course, random Kendo Sticks are hidden underneath the ring. I almost feel bad for Randy having to deal with this crap... Then, one of the Singh brothers proves how ridiculous this cage is as he slips through the actual cage. Orton and Jinder are thin guys themselves... In a pretty nice spots, one of the Singhs fell off the top of the structure and fell hard into the announcer's table. That encounter allows Jinder Mahal to recover. Orton has killed Mahal with chairs and Kendo Sticks but does Jinder stay down? Nope... he sells like he's simply tired and not in serious pain. Orton climbs again but the other Singh brother tries to interfere.

Then, just as Orton wants to climb again... The Great Khali arrives!

What?

Khali shakes the cage and then climbs himself only to grab Orton by the throat. Jinder Mahal forgets that chairs and Kendo Sticks were clubbing him and he climbs the cage. Jinder escapes and retains his WWE Title. As a bodyguard and muscle guy for Jinder, that's not a bad role for Khali. I didn't expect that ending, so I'm somewhat OK with that. I'm not OK with Jinder not selling the beatdowns in that cage. [ ** ]

LAST WORD: Tag match was great to start the show and it was all downhill after that. The New Day vs. Usos defined what the WWE should be doing with their match-ups. Place the most experienced guys with each other to draw instead of pushing the wrong guys, rushing wrestlers too early, or having your best guys wrestle for midcard titles or over flags. Smackdown has guys with lots of experience on their roster yet they are made to look like chumps right now due to poor talent evaluation or pushing wrestlers not ready for the spotlight. This cage match or whatever the hell it was should NEVER be tried again. Ditto for flag matches. [ C ], as the Tag Match was this show's blessing in the sky.

Typed this damn review again in 30 minutes during the final hour of the show. How about them apples, Microsoft? Can't nobody take my pride, can't nobody hold me down... I got to keep on moving! I dealt with a Compaq from Hell that had a Windows 95 operating system that froze and crashed often from the late 1990s. I'm ready for this.

SO JUST CHILL... 'TIL THE NEXT EPISODE!

Comments and feedback are welcome. Follow and Tweet me @titowrestling or login in below to post comments.

© Mr. Tito and LordsofPain.net/WrestlingHeadlines.com - 1998-2017

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