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Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS: Ask Al Laiman #6
By Al Laiman
Jan 31, 2013 - 8:12:57 PM

credit Tom Jenner

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Email: al.laiman.lop@gmail.com
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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS: Ask Al Laiman #6

Let's dig into this week's mailbag and see what we've got.

From the ILT Facebook Page: Hey i would like to ask you a question but I dont want to be named in your columns... what happened between CM Punk and the IWC? Why does the iwc hate him now?

The IWC hates CM Punk now? Damn, it has been a while since I've read the comment section.

I have to admit, I'm completely unaware that the IWC hates CM Punk now. The Internet exploded when The Rock beat CM Punk for the title, so unless they've changed in the last few days, which is entirely possible, I again say I wasn't aware this was going on.

That being said, if this is the case, I'm not surprised in the slightest. A lot of the Internet fans tend to be hipsters. They'll like someone until they actually win the title, and then they'll start complaining again because it's old and it's not cool to like success. This is not exclusive to wrestling either. Read any message board about a TV show, a movie, a book, anything. People on the Internet live to hate.

With short attention spans and hating a title reign the minute it happens, it wouldn't surprise me if people turned on him for the next Indy guy that hasn't made the Fed yet, and they'll ride that train until he gets his due, at which point the entire process starts all over again.

A few select comments aside, for the most part, I thought the IWC was still on the Punk side of things.

@Wilki1993: @AlLaimanLOP if there was a wrestling Mount Rushmore who's faces would you put on there?

That depends if we're talking the wrestling Mount Rushmore or MY wrestling Mount Rushmore, because those are two distinct categories. What the hell, I'll give you both.

Wrestling Business: Hardly a contest. Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, The Rock, John Cena. It'd be hard to argue with any of those being the top superstars of their time. It'd also be hard to argue about these four being the most successful faces of professional wrestling; transcending the business into the mainstream media. Names like Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart were great, but they weren't megastars or that well known to the outside world. Even non-fans know most of, if not all of these names. An argument could be made for Ric Flair, but I don't think he reached the levels that these four did. This is obviously not a measure of the best technical wrestlers, as names like Kurt Angle would be on there, but from the business standpoint, these four would be hard to challenge, at least from an American standpoint.

My Wrestling Mount Rushmore: Kane, CM Punk, Low-ki, Larry Sweeney. You've all read my story about Kane and how I grew up with that character. CM Punk represents those who made it from the independent circuit and didn't have to change who they were. While I haven't followed the indies like I used to, I still have roots there and I will never forget that. Low-ki, because I've seen him have more great matches in person than probably anyone else. Larry Sweeney, because not only was he a great entertainer and friend, but the man could cut a promo like no one else I've ever seen. On the spot, this guy could snap into promo mode, heel or face, and nobody could touch him. He's still very missed.

From the ILT Facebook Page: Frankie Sosa: if u gave out a ham for lifetime achievement, who would be the recipient?

Oh, a question about ham, that'll annoy someone I'm sure... Ric Flair. Runner-up, Shawn Michaels. Has anyone epitomized the meaning of Ham quite like Ric Flair in the last four decades of pro wrestling? Larger than life, over-the-top, ridiculous? If those three words aren't Ric Flair, I don't know who is. Keep in mind, in addition to all of those promos, those matches, the over-selling, and the random twitches that turn into struts, this is a guy who elbow drops inanimate objects like books and suit jackets.

I do have to give a non-WWE lifetime ham though to Delirious. For those of you who don't know, this is a guy who wore a green mask with tassles, and spoke in Lizard. The bell would ring, he'd flip around the ring, babbling on in Lizard, and then kept up the act the entire time. Incredibly entertaining, ridiculously over-the-top, and Hammy to the core, Delirious was by far the hammiest thing I've ever seen on the Indies.

@Aaronman99: @AlLaimanLOP Do you think TNA is building Aries/Roode for a long term Tag Team Run or is it just temporary? Also fave team name for them?

Gotta be honest, I haven't followed TNA in about four years. Beyond knowing who Aries and Roode are, I haven't a clue what TNA is doing with them. Them going on the road soon does intrigue me though, and maybe if I get some time outside of college, this, and Jaded Hope, I'll give it a shot again. I've heard it's gotten a lot better than it was when I was watching. Sorry I couldn't answer your question.

@CJMadsen79: @AlLaimanLOP What is "the fuck" and how does Kane punch someone right in it?

It's definitely not exclusive to Kane, but it always seems to be on my mind when he does it. The guy from whom I stole it borrowed it defines it as punching someone in an unusual place, and that makes sense. The context in which I've used it has Kane usually upper-cutting Sandow right in the beard. Honestly though, I just think it's a funny expression for someone getting punched really hard.

From the ILT Facebook Page: Matt Knight: Is there a single show from before you got into wrestling which you've watched and thought 'man i wish i'd experienced that live as it happened'? If so which show and why?

Yes. IWC's Super Indy III. I've seen it on DVD, and it's one of the greatest wrestling shows I've ever seen. The Super Indy tournament is a one-night, eight-man tournament with the winner taking the Super Indy title. This was in 2004, about two years before I became aware of IWC. In the eight man tournament, these were the matches.

Super Indy III First Round
Glenn Spectre vs. Chris Sabin
CM Punk vs. Sonjay Dutt
Alex Shelley vs. Super Hentai
Onryo vs. Soldier

Super Indy III Second Round
Chris Sabin vs. CM Punk
Alex Shelley vs. Onryo

Super Indy III Final Round
Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

Also on the card were Matt Cross and Josh Prohibition against Tracy Smothers and Chris Hamrick, Balls Mahoney against New Jack in a fans bring the weapons match and Eric Xtasy against Dean Radford,.Then, on top of it, easily the best match between AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels I've ever seen. Keep in mind, we're talking an Indy show in 2004 that I watched on DVD, and I think this highly of it. I would've loved to have been there.

@joe_murphya7x: @AlLaimanLOP: favourite match stipulation?

Easy, the Royal Rumble. Regardless of the result, the process of the Royal Rumble to me is consistently entertaining and always full of surprises. Rarely do you get 30/40 wrestlers in the same match without it being a complete clusterfuck, and this manages to get big names in the same match, as well as lower and midcard names in there with them. Most of the time, that doesn't result in a quick squash of them either.

The Rumble itself is really the match that made me fall in love with wrestling, and that goes true for people I've influenced as well. The unpredictability, even when the winner itself is predictable, always makes it so much fun. The order in which wrestlers come out, the surprise entrants, the timing, the feud-building... It has everything in one match a wrestling fan could want.

From the ILT Facebook Page: Dillon Johnson: do you think the wwe can make us fans intrested in the inevitable Rock vs Cena II at wrestlemania? If so how?

I think WWE has done a pretty good job in getting a lot of fans interested in that, if the ratings are any measure of that. I assume you're meaning the Internet fans who were disappointed with the results, myself included. To that I say, of course!

Even if we get the Once in a Lifetime... again. WWE usually pulls out all the stops for WrestleMania, and hopefully this momentum they've gained after a real youth movement from the roster in the last year, they'll have some showstealers all throughout the show. Personally, as white hot as this Rock/Punk feud is, I really hope it becomes a triple threat. That alone would sell it for me, but I know that won't be all that has me interested as I sit in the Meadowlands and watch my first live WrestleMania.

That's right, I'm going. They could have the main event be The Miz in a duckface contest with Nicki Minaj with Hustle being the judge, and I'd still be excited to go.

From the ILT Facebook Page: Alex Soto: will undertaker's wrestlemania streak ever be broken? if so, which superstar would break it?

In short, I have no idea.

The streak is really the only reason the Undertaker comes back to WrestleMania. The string of amazing matches that go along with it haven't hurt anything either, but they've really caught fire in the last four years.

Part of me doesn't think it'll ever be broken. They've gotten it to 20, why would they bother? Another part of me fears it'll happen with someone who will gain little to nothing from it.

If it ever happens, I really hope it goes to someone who could use, let's be honest, the biggest rub in wrestling history. I don't want to see John Cena or someone who has already made it win it. Winning the Royal Rumble is one thing, but Cena doesn't need that win to establish himself in the annals of history. If it happens, I hope it makes someone a huge star, not adds another achievement to an already huge resume.


Thank you all for submitting your questions again this week! Here she is, the real reason you clicked on this link :)


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