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Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #336 - Thoughts on RAW - 11-20-17
By Marissa Laiman
Nov 20, 2017 - 11:15:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017




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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #336 - Thoughts on RAW - 11-20-17

1. Well, Stephanie's out to remind me of why RAW has been a bit nicer to deal with since WrestleMania.

2. I'm sure Corey Graves objecting to the use of the word "decimated" will undo the burying of the show. Angle's job is also 1000 percent secure, despite the fact that Triple H turned on him? What sense does that make? I think I'll be asking that last question a lot.

3. It's good to see that Kurt Angle is allowed to stand up to one of the Helmsleys. Listen to that response too! Better have Stephanie step in and ruin it quickly.

4. Now Jason Jordan is the next one out. I presume Braun will join the Triple H grievance brigade. Jordan immediately demands a match with Triple H, and that gets Jason Jordan the first pop he's gotten in weeks, if not months.

5. Jason Jordan is next in line for emasculation with no retribution. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Stephanie.

6. And there he is now! Braun's on his way! What are we in for? More staring! Quick Stephanie, step in and kill another pop!

7. Triple H backs down from Braun, and thankfully she didn't ruin one of those at least. We're picking up where we left off with these two last night. #SurvivorStaring . I swear if this turns into an Authority replay of the Shield thing, I'm gonna break something.

8. Stephanie books a match with Braun and Jason Jordan. Look at my watch, 2000 already. Jordan was finally getting a pop, but sure, why not put him up against the most white hot guy on the show? Decent opening segment for reactions all the same, though Steph would be a test of my mute button if I wasn't covering the show.

9. Balor/Joe next, to take out their frustrations on having a waste of time in the main event.

10. Slideshow of Survivor Series last night. Good thing they're finally giving Triple H the spotlight.

11. Good JBL, Joe is a badass. That Joe-to-the-beat chant is a modern-day Goldberg as far as entrance chants go.

12. Joe starts off by punching Balor right in the fuck, and that sure set the tone. That looked like it connected almost too well.

13. Who says you can't make an interesting match out of two people who just want to beat the hell out of each other? This picked right up where it left off nicely.

14. We come back with Samoa Joe throwing Finn Balor around, just thinking about how he is Samoa Joe, and the hope spot is inevitably on the way.

15. Booker T telegraphs Finn's mistake of taking too long for the setup, and Joe chokes him out a moment later. He didn't tap though. What an intense match. I like it. And at least Balor isn't still wrestling Wyatt.

16. Good to see WrestleMania return to the Silverdome (LOLHogan) after a whole four years. How the memories of those who attended must be looked upon only in the most fond and distant of nostalgic rose-colored glasses as they can only document it via mimeograph.

17. Good Brothers? Are they the children of the Good Father? Ugh, Black Friday shills. At least it isn't Enzo and Cass?

18. Jordan, fuckdammit! "I was only saying that because it was Triple H?" Way to look like an imbecile. Any good will you gained after standing up to Triple H now just looks stupid.

19. RAW won both Survivor Series matches last night. At least this one put over someone new, right? I love Asuka's Kane-1998-ish style of hitting the lights and waiting a few seconds. Starting with the mask on the screen is a nice touch too.

20. To recap that segment of television, a heel tag team trying to convince you to buy stuff, a slideshow recap of a match, Jason Jordan looking pathetic, and a partial entrance. I'll understand if you need to pause to catch your breath (no Balor).

21. Asuka's facing Dana Brooke. So yeah, Asuka wins. They manage to work in a cheap Network shill with a Dana Brooke promo. "I've been watching you on the WWE Network." Subtle, WWE. Subtle. At least it's not a no-named jobber?

22. I don't care how many times they do it; the Asuka slap reaction is awesome. Though then Cole said that Dana is... looping? Did I hear that right? What does that even mean? Or did I hear it wrong? Oh well, Asuka wins. Shock of the night.

23. Did Booker T really just say that? Wow...

24. Miz opens up the MizTV hour by being rather excited to welcome the guy who contributed to beating his ass recently. For some reason they're taking a while to come out.

25. Did they mention that RAW won last night? Be sure to tune into Smackdown tomorrow, right?

26. Miz wants credit for re-uniting the Shield, I assume? I suppose if you can't win any matches, that's one way to go.

27. Roman being incredulous about the chants is the most endearing he's been in a long time. Wow, it's almost like he's likable that way.

28. The lights then go out... Just to come back on again? Kay.

29. Look at that, Roman wanting a shot at a title is massively over. How things have changed.

30. "You want him, you gotta go through us," says Bo Dallas. Dean laughs about it, and then Roman punches him. Nice. The good guys then attack an injured guy, but he's a flunky so it's okay? Wrestling is weird.

31. The crowd is chanting "We Bo-Lieve." Are Post-Survivor Series crowd chants now a thing?

32. At least I can mute the recaps of Stephanie saying things. I hate to keep harping on this, but note that the only person whose lines of dialogue were completely replayed? Yep.

33. Braun's response to being asked what his response is to Jason Jordan not being afraid of him... Good, that makes him better than Triple H. Putting someone over in one sentence, well done!

34. We come back with Dean Ambrose taking on one of the Bar, so this continues. That makes this feud over three months long with them fighting almost every single week in some capacity.

35. I feel bad about not saying more here, but what more is there to say? Really? What could these two teams possibly do?

36. "Sheamus hits this, it is all over." Kick-out at 2. Well all right then. Dean ends up getting the win, so we're headed to yet another tag title match with these two. Kay.

37. Meanwhile, Jason Jordan is backstage trying to summon more sympathy, I guess. Matt Hardy gives him an "I've seen some shit" speech.

38. So they made sure Smackdown at least won something, but they're quick to remind you that RAW won. Thank JBL, I thought the other show was becoming relevant again. My mistake.

39. Hey, Waldo's there again. And now for another feud based around social media. Kay.

40. There's not anyone who can do a thing. Cue ironic music in three, two, one...

41. It's not Asuka just yet, because we need to have another match with these two I suppose.

42. Are we bound for another clusterfuck? Bayley's music hits, so now it's gonna be women's division roll call. Bayley says she's so sorry to apologize. Then she says she's not the same woman Bliss beat earlier this year. Yeah, I agree. That woman was at least given some credibility.

43. Sasha's coming out next. I'm guessing some kind of six-way match for the number one contendership because that's how it happens.

44. Alicia Fox, come on down. Who else will be in the match. Is Alicia wearing a Napoleon coat? Sure, why not?

45. "This has been a colossal waste of my time," says Alexa Bliss. Understatement of the night. I guess Asuka just wasn't interested.

46. Here comes Kurt to make a... fatal four way or five way? Four way. Of course. Not the sole survivor last night, just three people who lost and someone who didn't qualify. Makes sense.

47. Is that... It's Paige! I am in no way freaking out because the gorgeous goth aesthetic is back right now... No... way. Auntie Ris needs to be alone for a few minutes...

48. Paige: "And I didn't come alone."
Aiden: "No you didn't, my wife is drooling right now."
...guilty.

49. Looks like a couple NXT ladies just got called up. At least that makes the division more loaded. Alicia Fox running up the ramp terrified was hilarious though.

50. The shaky video cam replay move is back. It's a video game at this point.

51. Alexa Bliss backstage tries to save her own ass Miz-style by being all "hey, we're friends and all, right?" It doesn't go well.

52. Tapout is now available at Aeropostale? That's it, I'm officially in the other timeline from Back to the Future 2. Hey-nonni-nonni-hey-nonni-nonni-hey!

53. Kane is back, and he's getting some vengeance on Braun. He takes him out with the chair-throat slam, and Braun is either legit hurt or selling it like a million bucks. Wow. Absolutely brutal-looking, well done.

54. Michael Cole cares so much about Enzo and the gang coming out that he's talking about other matches.

55. Enzo's slipping out of his accent as several of them realize that they raided Bo Dallas's wardrobe.

56. And now for the assortment of random faces joining Rich Swann because... why not. It's now 5-on-4.

57. A brawl broke out... riveting.

58. How bad does this have to be to have this Houston crowd silent and bored?

59. Maybe you shouldn't show that collapsing ring moment in slow motion. You can see the ring give before impact...

60. Renee? You want to get a word from someone who had their throat crushed? What the hell is wrong with you?

61. "I'm checking on my son." "He's hurt, he's not going anywhere." HAM-worthy one-liner right there.

62. Ohai Elias, it's been a while (no Staind.) Hold that A-minor chord.

63. I have a question for this show tonight. Who's going to... be the next contestant on Monday Night Interruption Hustle-style Clusterfuck?

64. On Thanksgiving week, Elias makes a reference to the Adam Sandler Thanksgiving song. "That clapping is messing my head up, man."

65. Now we've got another brawl, this time between Matt Hardy and Elias. Even the commentators don't know why it's happening.

66. As much confusion as there's been to decisions tonight, they managed to make the idea of Roman Reigns getting a title shot not groan-worthy. Have to give credit where it's due.

67. We come back with Roman chants, and this is from a post-PPV snarky crowd. That's beyond impressive. The camera people still think they need to shake the camera so we understand what corner hits are, but I'm enjoying this nonetheless. Damn sensory issues.

68. Miz uses that knee-level DDT, and that was the most devastating I've ever seen it look. Either way, Miz is looking credible here, which he's desperately needed after so many high profile losses as of late.

69. Conversely, those kicks Miz ripped off from Bryan like a year ago looked weak as shit this time around. I am convinced that will eventually go somewhere.

70. Do any moves truly come outta nowhere? Can't at least one come from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico?

71. Speaking of unusual power exchanges, the Superman punch looked freaking badass countering Miz coming off the top rope. Right after they put over the Miz being the best he's ever looked, forgetting he was WWE champion at one point, but fine. At least they're trying.

72. The Bar make the distraction for a half-bent SCF, and now we've got the Shield to even everything out. At this point, they've been fighting so long that I'm surprised they didn't try to come out at the same time.

73. Roman Reigns wins the Intercontinental championship, and I can't remember the last time I had this thought: I'm quite all right with Roman Reigns winning a championship. Good main event, and good for him for turning it around in recent months. Which group of three will stand up to them after six months from now when Dean and Crossfit Jesus finally finish facing the Bar every week? Who knows. But this was decent.

74. Tonight was all right. I'm sick of the women's contender being determined by a fatal-four way every time. I'm sick of Steph's weekly bullshit. I'm sick of the Smackdown ultra burial. But overall, some good surprises, decent matches, and a fair follow-up to Survivor Staring. I'm quite surprised that so many others are reviewing it so highly and I'm the one who was lukewarm on it. Usually it's the other way around. Tito was the one who was super happy and impressed and I wasn't. What is the world coming to?


HAM OF THE NIGHT

A surprising lack of HAM for RAW tonight, but the Miz's one-liner backstage with Kurt gets it this week.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho
7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt
8-7-17 - Paul Heyman
8-8-17 - Arn Anderson
8-14-17 - Big Cass
8-15-17 - Breezango
8-28-17 - John Cena
9-4-17 - Braun Strowman
9-11-17 - The Miz
9-18-17 - Neville
9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler
9-24-17 - Paul Heyman
9-25-17 - Alexa Bliss
9-26-17 - Dolph Ziggler
10-2-17 - The Miz
10-3-17 - Rusev
10-9-17 - Finn Balor
10-10-17 - The Usos
10-16-17 - Curtis Axel
10-22-17 - Kurt Angle
10-23-17 - Drew Gulak
10-30-17 - The Miz
10-31-17 - Kofi Kingston/Rusev/Becky Lynch
11-6-17 - New Day
11-7-17 - New Day
11-19-17 - The Usos
11-20-17 - The Miz

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.

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