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Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #332 - Thoughts on SD Live - 10-31-17
By Marissa Laiman
Oct 31, 2017 - 10:00:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017


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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #332 - Thoughts on SD Live - 10-31-17

1. Smackdown starts the same way it did last week with Shane, and let's see if he impersonates his sister. Oh wait, he's put people over before. Nevermind.

2. Is it weird to see someone pull off a siege one week, and still play the good guy face? As weird as everyone reminding us that Survivor Series is the Ultimate Thrill Ride. Wait, wrong one...

3. "RAW has always looked at Smackdown as the inferior brand." Gee, maybe that's because the company treats it that way? Just a thought.

4. This is a rather good explanation of a storyline years in the making. It's just a shame the last Smackdown and RAW didn't follow up on its execution.

5. There's an Enzo sign that says "realist guys in the room," and I can't help but picture Enzo in hipster glasses discussing Walter Benjamin with Drew Gulak.

6. What a great point, with remarking that Stephanie would've been involved in setting Bryan up. That's including some serious history between them. Shane ends up the team captain, and hopefully this year he doesn't get knocked out cold.

7. Thank you, Smackdown Mattfacts. I had no idea Bobby Roode had "glorious" attached to his name. He's so subtle about it.

8. I'm sure the match will be fine, but this is what, take three of this match in the last month?

9. I see some celebrities are in attendance this evening. Peanut Butter Jelly Time, take a bow. I'd mention Hogan, Flair, Goldust, and Savage, but they're at every show all year. Is WWE Waldo in the house? Probably, the walking shampoo commercial pops up like Marlins guy at postseason sporting events. Okay, now there is a Waldo in the front row. If it's the same guy with his head under the hat, we've reached Inception levels of deep cut.

10. Dolphykins wins the first fall. Will he continue to be good at Survivor Series and pretty much never else?

11. Roode's pin came in the commercial. Good thing they had the screen-in-screen or we might've missed it.

12. "There aren't an awful lot of things Dolph hasn't seen before in the past." As opposed to seen before in the future? Is his next punishment gimmick to be a fortune teller?

13. Bobby Roode wins, and despite being a cookie-cutter good guy now, he's still insanely over. His first response to winning is to demonstrate that he'd be good at Sesame Street stepping in for the Count. Make sure to get in that hashtag before the catch phrase. Always hit those fucking call letters. Those social media bragging graphics aren't gonna blow themselves!

14. Kofi Kingston is dressed up like Brother Love with a completely red face. HAM over, Kofi wins. No fucking contest.

15. Maybe I spoke too soon. Rusev is paranoid about spies in the building. No social commentary there whatsoever, I'm sure. Rusev Day is over as shit though. Rusev starts stomping Halloween candy. JBLdammit.

16. James Ellsworth is now dressed like All Dogs Go to Heaven meets Ice-T in Tank Girl, then he gets the squirt bottle, and this whole segment gets the HAM. This is amazing. Then Natalya comes in and does her best Stephanie McMahon impression by ruining all that is fun.

17. Baron Corbin got auto-tuned grungy nu-metal singer to accompany him to the ring for this week's Titan Tron. I'm a big fan of Nickeltantricstaindcallingcreed. He's facing Sin Cara for the second week in a row? Fine, the rematch that literally no one demanded is on its way. I think there are some Trick or Treaters who might take fifteen minutes to answer...

18. Now I'm back. Just in time to hear even the Usos say that Survivor Series is the one night WWE gets extreme. I think.

19. Good ol' Shelty-B and Chad re-enact how the crowd used to react to them, and that was awkward as hell.

20. Jinder's now gonna be there and one of the Singhs are facing AJ. Say, is that another trick-or-treater?

21. Now as Jinder comes to the ring, Tom reminds us that Survivor Series is the one night of the year where 30 people enter the ring and the one who leaves goes on to WrestleMania to face the champion.

22. Did Jinder call the RAW champion Barack Lesnar? There's a weird crossover idea.

23. Jinder is now Beast Master, which i assume means he's about to be Conan the Dr. Doolittle.

24. AJ Styles' take down > Roman's spear.

25. Thus continuing the same crap we saw during the Shinsuke feud, Jinder attacks immediately after AJ wins. And still, nobody cares.

26. Jinder dropped AJ really fucking high on that second whatever his finisher is. Take some fucking care with your shitty ass move, you second-rate joke who represents that title as much as the guy in the Tapout shirt carrying it to a show on his shoulder.

27. It was nice of the Bludgeon Brothers to give us the camera perspective of the printer from Office Space for their closing shot.

28. Aiden English is still somehow surprised that a musical intro gets interrupted because he's never seen an Elias segment. Or for that matter, one of his own promos. Although Corey getting outraged over Rusev Day being ruined would be a contender for HAM on most nights.

29. Aiden English wants to remind you that Controversy Creates Concertos. It's easier than remembering that Big E is dressed up like the One Man Gang. https://goo.gl/images/aPv5yS

30. Well, Rusev, the guy who has barely been able to survive a match more than two minutes, let alone win one, now can win in a three-on-two situation. Fine.

31. Meanwhile, in selective historical consciousness, Renee Young has to ask what a luchador's mask means. Now though, all I can think of is this:

32. Meanwhile, in authority figures typing on their phones, Aiden English interrupts with Rusev Day. Rusev then has to randomly face AJ Styles, because who the hell else is he going to face?

33. Corey's reaction to the Breezango segment approaching was nearly as good as his face when Lita said that 100 was ten times higher than ten.

34. Oh hey, a Shooting Stars appearance that gets as much as their in-ring appearances do: a slow camera reveal in silence.

35. One of the Ascension dresses up like old school Kane, because having Gallows do it would've been too deep of a cut.

36. Something is shown on a screen in the brief case. I'm pretty sure it's now your nightmares for the next two weeks. What in the JBL fucktacular pigeon just happened?

37. If RAW and Smackdown are feuding, WHY IS SMACKDOWN PROMOTING THEIR SPECIAL SHOW?! Consistency! At least pretend to give a shit about the angle you're selling? John fucking Layfield...

38. Tom once again reminds us that Survivor Series is the one night that feuds will be settled in the Elimination Chamber where six superstars will fight to the last elimination for the right to... I don't know, fight a Smackdown guy or something.

39. Kevin Owens and Shinsuke mostly compare the power of powdering with the power of crotch magic. Fine. I still question why Smackdown Live shows some matches picture-in-picture but never the main event. Because... we're supposed to want to see that one more so we can't see all of it? ? ???

40. KO pulled the Owen-style stagger sell. Love it.

41. Shinsuke being distracted gives us the false hope that maybe someone is finally following up on the angle started last Monday, but no, it's Sami.

42. That pop-up powerbomb had so many flips that it pissed off an anti-IWC spot monkey commenter.

43. After a near-fall with KO, who distracts him but Randy Orton... because I guess he enjoys tagging with Shinsuke in the main events, so sure, why not?

44. Bonus HAM to my nine-year-old daughter who just said: "Thank you, Randy Orton! The first time you're helpful!"

45. So, it looks like we're done here, and this is the third straight show where they've failed to follow up with anything but a half-assed sense of urgency to the surprise attack on RAW last week. That show invaded a locker room and now we've had three full shows where the only person to get retribution for it was a guy not involved in it. Kay. This show, like last week, felt phoned in, although it had its fun moments. It's stalling, because they can't figure out how to capitalize on momentum and instead we have to stall until it's closer because that's what they think of your attention span. Better cover it with the tag line and making sure you say hashtag under siege.


Kofi Kingston/Rusev/Becky Lynch all tie it for that entire segment.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho
7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt
8-7-17 - Paul Heyman
8-8-17 - Arn Anderson
8-14-17 - Big Cass
8-15-17 - Breezango
8-28-17 - John Cena
9-4-17 - Braun Strowman
9-11-17 - The Miz
9-18-17 - Neville
9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler
9-24-17 - Paul Heyman
9-25-17 - Alexa Bliss
9-26-17 - Dolph Ziggler
10-2-17 - The Miz
10-3-17 - Rusev
10-9-17 - Finn Balor
10-10-17 - The Usos
10-16-17 - Curtis Axel
10-22-17 - Kurt Angle
10-23-17 - Drew Gulak
10-30-17 - The Miz
10-31-17 - Kofi Kingston/Rusev/Becky Lynch

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.

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