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Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #324 - Thoughts on RAW - 10-2-17
By Marissa Laiman
Oct 2, 2017 - 10:00:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017




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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #324 - Thoughts on RAW - 10-2-17

1. Getting started a bit late tonight due to a storm in the area, so I came in just as Nia Jax was throwing around Mickie James while Alexa Bliss does some mock-crying. Nia Jax is going to be the equivalent of Erich Bischoff's 2004-Kane. "You'll face everyone I don't like."

2. Mickie James being a crafty veteran who has been around the likes of Beth Phoenix, Tamina, and other power women wrestlers over her career, should surely be more strategic about approaching this match. Especially since all Sasha or Bayley seem to be able to do is run into her really hard and yet be surprised every single time they do it.

3. I don't care how big you are, getting scissor kicked in the face hurts. Your size doesn't protect your chin.

4. Another Nia Jax match ends with an unclean finish, and Alexa attacks before MIckie can go for the pin after a Tornado DDT. I guess that's what they call "protecting"? Alexa tries to take advantage on the outside and gets superkicked for her troubles. All things considered, not too bad.

5. Recap of Neville's... Can we call it a drunk bomb instead of a pipe bomb, because he seemed drunk instead of high? ...

6. Credit to this angle, it was the first time probably since the CWC that people were really into something happening with the division. Ooh, and they're even showing the after-show with Braun Strowman giving the division a free beatdown for good measure.

7. Enzo then gets welcomed looking more distraught than he ever has, or at least since he got destroyed in Rusev's hotel room. Dramatic silence and a dazed look follow, which has to be the quietest he's ever been. We remain on a tight shot of him looking disheveled. That could be a screensaver.

8. Reigns vs. Miz for the IC title comes on later tonight. Because Reigns's US title reign served so much, other than giving them a bullshit parallel with Cena's career.

9. Doesn't it seem to be weird to be congratulated after winning a match by having someone attack you? Kurt Angle gets a kick out of that as well, and books James/Bliss at TLC. She goes giddy girl for that, and it makes me wonder who Asuka will be facing then.

10. Oh goodie, a Facebook-booked match with the Club Sandwich. I like their chances against Jordan and Hardy.

11. Jordan is repping the green like he's auditioning for a wall in Boston, and will the team that always loses or takes the pinfall end up losing this time? I wonder.

12. The Club wore green too. How sweet. Must be for St. Patrick's Day in October.

13. What's with Booker T criticizing Jason Jordan about getting all his "moves in?" Isn't that what people used to say about Jeff Hardy and other indy stars? Is Vince making Jordan an example of people who like wrestling moves or something? I don't get it.

14. Matt Hardy with the hot tag, and even six months after his debut, the DELETE! is strong. That's why it wont't happen.

15. Jason Jordan getting some Maven-like height with that dropkick!

16. Wow, the Club Sandwich actually won a match. Be it against two halves of other tag teams, fine, but they won a match.

17. Recap time, and ohai Neutralizer, haven't seen that move in a while. Looks like that feud is still going. Still.

18. Meanwhile, Reigns gets another interview to ponder about his former Shield partners. But that's why he's gotta stay foked. Foked on the Miz. I'll give him credit, this was one of his better backstage interviews. It didn't feel like he was forcing or trying too hard.

19. The Miztoruage is doing the old Shield entrance. HAM of the Night, almost guaranteed. Fantastic.

20. Wow, the Miz did a thing that another star did in order to mock it with a smug smile on his face! I wonder if that will happen for like two years without ever being acknowledged beyond the commentators mentioning it as well? That's what happens, right? How's stealing Daniel Bryan's kicks for heat working out for that eventual feud?

21. Tsk to the champion coming out first, especially one as tenured as the Miz.

22. Reigns takes the chance to take out the Miztourage before the match starts. I wonder if they'll be impersonating referees and be out for twenty minutes after two hits.

23. I don't see Waldo. I wonder if he's sick this week.

24. Reigns grabs a chair himself. Continuity. Axel decides the safest place to go is... up the stage. Good call, dude. Miz watches and makes silly faces while the security team come out to take out the trash. It got Reigns cheers, so... kudos?

25. Reigns charged the ring like that and then waited an entire commercial break to start the match? Well that was nice of him.

26. Miz does his best to get a countout victory, but Reigns spots Hogan and Savage over there where Waldo should be and gets back as quickly as possible.

27. Fake-arms Cena is not impressed with this match so far. The crowd is alive for it though, so best find some people on camera staring at their phones.

28. Speaking of those kicks, there they are, making another appearance that will never result in anything, just like the fist bump last week. Just like that. But a Batista Bomb is a transition move now, so... RAW.

29. Miz counters the Superman Punch with a SCF, but of course Reigns kicks out, because fuck you, that's why.

30. But IS Miz impressed with the aura of Roman Reigns?

31. Even when Roman supposedly gets all of the Superman Punch, it still doesn't look impressive. However, Roman's face when it didn't lead to a pinfall was priceless. Looked like 70's George Carlin.

32. Roman Reigns is pulled out of the match by... The Bar? Well, I suppose that makes the inevitable Shield six-man tag better than trying to sell the MIztourage as a quality opponent.

33. Another Neutralizer, and a Brogue Kick for good measure. Definitely an upgrade over Dallas and Axel. It's like the midcard division of 2009 as a stable.

34. Not to be out-Shielded, they surround the ring Shield-style. Or Nexus-style, if you wanna get older school with it. They finish it off with the triple powerbomb. Love it.

35. Do you think Snoop recorded his list of wrestling things at the same time he recorded animal dub videos? I'd love to see those get mixed up.

36. Ugh, competing music, singing with the entrance music at the same time. That hurts my ears. Here we go with another feud that's going to continue after three or more matches. I suppose cheap pop is one way to start.

37. "Don't sing it, bring it." It's been a long time since I've heard that one. I'm guessing we'll get Bray in a backstage cut rambling about something. Oh, there it is.

38. Umm.... What?

39. Asuka's vignette was almost indistinguishable from the weird trailers for whatever's on USA these days.

40. Amazing how having these vignettes BEFORE an NXT star debuts makes it feel like a bigger deal, right? Imagine if that happened before, say, Apollo Crews?

41. Please tell me that was a mistake during Sasha's entrance. We don't need more motion-sickness camera angles, and the out and into focus didn't help anything.

42. She's teaming with Bayley again? What combination of other women's wrestlers are they facing now? How sweet of Bayley to interact with the fans like they're people or something. That's a lost art sometimes.

43. Well first, it's Emma with her ever-so-subtle entrance quote. Kay. She's really going hard with her entire gimmick to trend on Twitter. Ugh. She was better served with not showing up after vignettes.

44. It's Alicia F... Nope. It's like a Shining Stars match right before naptime out there.

45. Was that some kind of... Aliigator backroll superfuntime thing? Odd. Bayley does more like the Spinny Circle Merrygoround thing. What am I watching?

46. Amazing how 3/4 of the same match is going on even longer than when they had Nia Jax in the match. Weird. So good that they teased that tension between Bayley and Sasha though, considering they had two straight matches where none of it ever became a factor.

47. Lotta good that no-contact clause did, eh? "That's what Enzo gets for having zero redeeming qualities as a human being." - Corey Graves. Damn, that is HARSH.

48. I don't think Booker followed the line of the Star Wars reference. Though if there's any sin in that arena right now, it's those pants.

49. Damn, look at that second and third level tarped off for Monday Night RAW. Better stay the course on everything!

50. Enzo's awfully bitter, though I'm still trying to figure out what some of those words mean.

51. He's not wrong about some of those burns he's laying on the division, but I don't think that's the wrestlers' faults. Possibly having the same six-man tag for eight weeks might've had something to do with it, but who knows? Staying with the same match for two straight months has worked so well for other feuds.

52. Enzo has the power to get a clause in his contract that if anyone hits him, they get fired? That's some heavyweight power. I don't think The Undertaker could've pulled that off.

53. Neville comes out with backup, and Enzo continues to talk shit. These guys seem awfully anxious to go after someone who might get them fired? Logic!

54. I'll sum up this segment in the paraphrased words of Eric Cartman: "I just insulted all of you, who wants to touch me?! I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME!"

55. Kurt Angle comes out for his weekly entrance pop. But hold up, there's a new member of the cruiserweight division! Finally, Kalisto is in the cruiserweight division, and Aiden hit the freaking roof. When did he get a revamped mask to look like a golden Ninja Turtle? That was strange, but somehow seeing Enzo get hit by anyone is like seeing James Ellsworth: it's always satisfying.

56. Can't end on that, we've got Roman backstage with nagging injuries. Ohai Dean, fancy seeing you here in this dimly-lit locker room. Then Crossfit Jesus is on the other side, and the pop is IMMENSE. Man, two guys who were so hesitant to get back together suddenly seem to trust each other now. Oh wait, no they don't. Good tease. Would've been too quick to do all that in the same week.

57. That was pretty good, despite this fascination with having the same match every week, more or less. It's getting ridiculous. WhatCulture did a great video about having the same match over and over again, and they're right. Even really good matches lose their interest value if they're done repeatedly, not to mention weekly. With a roster this huge, surely this can be rectified, can't it?

HAM OF THE NIGHT

The Miz. Hands down, doing the Shield entrance was awesome.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho
7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt
8-7-17 - Paul Heyman
8-8-17 - Arn Anderson
8-14-17 - Big Cass
8-15-17 - Breezango
8-28-17 - John Cena
9-4-17 - Braun Strowman
9-11-17 - The Miz
9-18-17 - Neville
9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler
9-24-17 - Paul Heyman
9-25-17 - Alexa Bliss
9-26-17 - Dolph Ziggler
10-2-17 - The Miz

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.

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