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Posted in: In Laiman's Terms
IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #323 - Thoughts on SD Live - 9-26-17
By Marissa Laiman
Sep 26, 2017 - 10:00:00 PM

Posted by Ris Laiman on Tuesday, May 2, 2017


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Email - rismcwriting@gmail.com

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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS #323 - Thoughts on SD Live - 9-26-17

1. We start off with Smackdown is KO, after that incredibly weird ending to last week's promo.

2. KO is searching for Shane the same way that I'm searching for the long-haired guy at every show who stands in the front row because everyone loves paying four digits for second row seats and staring at the back of a mop. That's my favorite way. Seriously dude, do you travel in the production van or something?

3. Ohai Sami Zayn, looks like we're back to this after they ended the feud two years ago. Yeah, this tete-a-tete that was never supposed to happen again? It's happening again.

4. Sami's here to talk "some sense of you." It's weird how they put over matches with Shane McMahon like they used to talk about facing the Undertaker. I guess this is Sami's "Come to JBL" meeting.

5. KO lists his resume as a reason that he's so much better than Sami. Hard to argue with those comparative accolades.

6. Sami starts throwing hurtin' bombs about having a clear conscience or something. Lot of good that's done him. Daniel Bryan interrupts the moment of tension to likely make this the main event.

7. Oh wow, he made Sami/Kevin, for the first time ever this week.

8. But as long as there's a dead horse that needs beating, look it's Baron Corbin.

9. The censored "holy shit" chants are hysterical.

10. I forgot that Baron Corbin's theme sounds like a mix of Christian's "At Last" theme and every Eurometal band.

11. And here we go again, with the three who have been in some mix of each other every week to do so once again. This gives Tye the chance to toss him over the top rope before he'll inevitably lose because he always does. They found out we like him and he's from NXT, so... can't have that.

12. We come back from picture-in-picture to a move that can't decide what finisher it wants to be, the chokeslam backbreaker. That's a transition move though.

13. Corbin goes outside the ring and dumps water in AJ's face. Oh man, Corbin! Don't you watch the WWE Network? Remember what happened when someone spilled CM Punk's diet soda?! Tye loses by countout after getting thrownspeared into AJ, and this will continue. Triple Threat at Hell in a Cell I imagine.

14. We're not done yet, because we have to get heavy-breathing Baron on the mic. The victory lap thing needs to make Corbin and Rusev a tag team.'

15. Goodie, Jinder Mahal's gonna be out next to read Vince McMahon's racist Japanese jokes because he still thinks they're hilarious.

16. Of course Waldo is applauding him.

17. Last week he supposedly went too far, which means he's about to try to one-up himself in the Shitty Things the Singh Brothers Have to Pretend is Funny. Yep, they're selling it like Rodney Dangerfield is narrating Beerbath 3:16.

18. The screencap starts moving like a terrible haunted house prop, and I think the not-meme'd Nakamura is a bit pissed. Hell yes, we get the entrance too!

19. The Singh Brothers are going after him. I'm sure that'll go well. Shinsuke gets the better of the situation with some kicks and running knees, and we get to hear that theme again. Thank you for cutting off that incredibly uncomfortable promo. Please make this the last one of those.

20. Here comes the New Day. Given how the heavily-promoted title match went last week, I expect this to last about two minutes.

21. Oh no, New Day's just hanging out in the crowd now, so let's see what drastic measures the jobber-entranced Hype Bros take. They try to start chants, but nobody cares that much. Like any match involving Zack Ryder since they decided to embarrass him back in 2011 and turn the Broski Boot into the signal for 60 seconds or less.

22. I guess the drastic measures were to fight each other. Usos win. Shock.

23. Big E pulls a... Mic out of the popcorn bucket. That was funny, and a subtle movie theater joke.

24. They announce that they want to defend the titles at Hell in the Cell, but also in Hell in a Cell. I thought they were already doing that? Either way, convenient that there's a PPV coming up with one of those anyway.

25. Smackdown's musical act arrives to the Bulgarian celebration because, sure why not?

26. This is ridiculously HAMtastic, complete with Rusev standing above on a platform in celebration. Smackdown Live is Rusev's jungle, because yard was already taken.

27. Mid-note RKO. Someone actually asks "where did Randy Orton come from?" Um... Pretty sure it's already on all his shirts. Outta nowhere, duh!

28. Sami confronts Bryan backstage about wishing he had opportunities. Good thing he changed shows to get those, eh?

29. Meanwhile, Renee Young is Randy Orton's message for Rusev Day now or something.

30. Charlotte's out to wrestle against Carmella in camo with Ellsworth on a leash. I didn't realize Smackdown got kink-friendly.

31. Hey, someone in the Twitter feed also noticed Graves asking where Orton came from.

32. Watching Charlotte trying to make this offense look devastating... Well... She's really committed to her job. Then she wins with two moves because reasons.

33. Oh yay, here comes Natalya... said no one, ever.

34. I'm so glad Natalya clarified who Charlotte's father is. I was unaware until now.

35. The Undertaker bell? This has to be Dolph. No way Taker's showing up randomly. And judging from the reaction, nobody else buys it either.

36. We know it's not the Undertaker because he's walking WAY too fast. My nine-year-old daughter just said "stop that, you don't deserve that!" She gets it.

37. Dolph jokes about seeing Taker a whole two times in one year. Okay, that was funny.

38. He's cut off by... Bobby Roode? I'm intrigued

39. Might as well throw down for Hell in a Cell. What a great foil for Dolph's "anti-flamboyance" angle.

40. Bobby cuts off Dolphykins' HAM with a little subtle one of his own. That was fun.

41. Here we go with the main event. One guy is booked in the most-promoted match of HiAC, one isn't on the show. I wonder who's going to win...

42. "That's the resiliency that's made Sami so successful." Um... The guy we've barely gotten to see and who lost to Aiden English? You sure that's the word you want to use??

43. Sudden cut to the back, and Shane McMahon walks through the door. Oh snap, commercial time!

44. It's taken for granted that these two can go on call at any given time, especially with all their experience together, but I think we all know that someone's about to get Kane'd.

45. Kevin Owens doing one of his usual moves is "he's snapped?" That also gets him DQ'd? Kay.

46. He's doing that thing he does when you know he's going to attack after staring dramatically for a while.

47. Oh wow, he attacked Sami Zayn. What a shock!

48. Kevin Owens walks around like he's Festus and the bell just rang, but who is there to save the day?

49. He did the Linda save stare! But KO shoves Sami wearing a chair necklace into his run, and I think Shane will have a shiner from that. Maybe Cesaro's got some extra teeth tape for him.

50.I don't know, Smackdown feels dull. Even when it's fun, it feels like there's no intensity behind it. We know it can be better than this, but it's been bled dry like NXT.


I gotta give it to Dolph again, because I can't decide if he's going over the top or just doesn't give a shit anymore. Either way, it's funny. Fashion Files come back next week though, so pretty good indicator of who wins next week if I manage to get to SD.

2012 - Daniel Bryan
2013 - Paul Heyman
2016 - Chris Jericho
1-2-17 - Kevin Owens
1-3-17 - Jack Gallagher
1-9-17 - Shawn Michaels
1-10-17 - Dean Ambrose
1-16-17 - Sami Zayn
1-17-17 - John Cena
1-23-17 - Xavier Woods
1-24-17 - James Ellsworth
1-30-17 - Mick Foley
1-31-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-6-17 - Goldberg
2-7-17 - Daniel Bryan
2-13-17 - Chris Jericho
2-14-17 - Alexa Bliss
2-20-17 - Lana
2-21-17 - Maryse
2-27-17 - Mick Foley
2-28-17 - Bray Wyatt
3-13-17 - Paul Heyman
3-14-17 - AJ Styles
3-20-17 - Austin Aries
3-21-17 - Mizcena
3-27-17 - Big Cass
3-28-17 - Mizcena/Mizbryan/John Cena
4-1-17 - Bobby Roode's dueling pianists
4-2-17 - The Undertaker
4-3-17 - Chris Jericho
4-4-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-10-17 - Braun Strowman
4-11-17 - Shinsuke Nakamura
4-17-17 - Samoa Joe
4-18-17 - Nobody
4-24-17 - Alexa Bliss
4-25-17 - Dolph Ziggler
5-8-17 - The Miz
5-9-17 - The Usos
5-15-17 - Titus O'Neill
5-16-17 - Fandango/Tyler Breeze
5-22-17 - Bray Wyatt
5-29-17 - Alexa Bliss/Ohai Bayley
5-30-17 - Fashion Files
6-5-17 - The Miz
6-26-17 - Paul Heyman
6-27-17 - The Ascension
7-3-17 - TROOF
7-10-17 - Paul Heyman
7-17-17 - Crossfit Jesus
7-18-17 - Randy Orton
7-24-17 - Kurt Angle
7-25-17- Chris Jericho
7-31-17 - Bray Wyatt
8-7-17 - Paul Heyman
8-8-17 - Arn Anderson
8-14-17 - Big Cass
8-15-17 - Breezango
8-28-17 - John Cena
9-4-17 - Braun Strowman
9-11-17 - The Miz
9-18-17 - Neville
9-19-17 - Dolph Ziggler
9-24-17 - Paul Heyman
9-25-17 - Alexa Bliss
9-26-17 - Dolph Ziggler

Marissa Laiman, In Laiman’s Terms, and Inciting Incident are owned by It’s a Shameful Thing, Lobsterhead, LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.

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