IN LAIMAN'S TERMS: 30 Thoughts... RAW 11-5-12
By Al Laiman
Nov 5, 2012 - 11:11:11 PM
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IN LAIMAN'S TERMS: 30 Thoughts: RAW 1016 - 11-5-12\
Before I start tonight, I've got something to say in response to an email I received last night.
Normally, I don't mind when people disagree with something I say or write. In fact, I encourage it, and I try to respond to every comment and email sent to me, regardless of how much someone agrees with me. However, last night I got an email entitled, "Guys Like You Make Me Sick." If the author is reading this, I'm not mentioning your name, but I'm responding to it here. I have something to say about this email I got in response to my column yesterday "Only the Wrestlers Die Young."
"Seriously, the whole 'wrestlers die young' line is so over played that it's redundant, the schedule of a wrestler's life isn't the problem. The problem is, not everyone is the same, not everyone's problems are the same. For every person who dies young there are thousands of people who do not.
And your bullshit way of practically saying 'the WWE should change to make YOU feel better because you're ashamed of watching it'. If you are that ashamed, quit watching it, quit writing about it, and do something that doesn't make you ashamed of liking something."
Thank you, for COMPLETELY missing the point. I didn't practically say that. In fact, I didn't say it at all. I'm not ashamed of the wrestling business; I wrote a book about working in it. I write about it for a great audience every single week on this site.
How is caring about the performers' health cliche? When the NFL decided to crack down on concussions, was it because they were ashamed of watching or writing about football? Being concerned with the health of professional wrestlers and advocating something that would hopefully help their lives professionally and personally is being ashamed of it?
I love professional wrestling, and I made that point very clear. I've been in many aspects of the business, and my body is permanently damaged from participating in professional wrestling. I've had a first-hand perspective of some of the things that harm professional wrestlers, and seen two friends of mine within the business die, along with countless other performers who passed away long before their time. Were all their deaths related to wrestling? Of course not, but the strains of the lifestyle and the constant demand of the schedule has something to do with painkiller addiction and the effects of it. Anyone remember this article?
Article by: Andrew Garvey
After hearing the news of Savage's death, I happened to look at the line-up for Wrestlemania 7 in 1991. Not counting the deaths of Gorilla Monsoon (62, natural causes) and Lord Alfred Hayes (76), I counted 14 onscreen performers who died prematurely - Kerry Von Erich, Dino Bravo, Davey Boy Smith, Crush, Savage, Sensational Sherri, Elizabeth, Big Boss Man, Mr Perfect, Andre the Giant, Earthquake, Hawk, Hercules and Joey Marella. And that's from a total list of wrestlers, managers, referees and commentators etc. of just 51.
I thought I'd do a quick and largely unscientific comparison of how that stacked up to deaths of a similar sized sample from three sports and entertainment fields that all, for various reasons, are sometimes compared to pro wrestling in discussing premature deaths. These were the NFL (physical punishment, concussions and steroid use), music (drugs, alchohol and the road owning people) and boxing (concussions, steroid use, crazy lifestyle). The results aren't entirely surprising but the difference between them and Wrestlemania 7's roll call of dead people is pretty stark.
Of the 44 men who started on both offense and defense in Superbowl XXV (the Buffalo Bills vs. New York Giants game which took place in January '91) every single one of them is still alive.
For music I looked at the bands who played at the 1991 Monsters of Rock festival, which used to be held annually, here in England, and attracted the biggest names in hard rock and heavy metal, and crowds of up to and around 100,000 people. From the bands who played in '91, there were 23 musicians. Every single one of them is still alive. As that was a much smaller sample than for either Wrestlemania or Superbowl XXV, I looked at the follwoing year's festival. Again, no deaths at all, from a further 27 musicians.
For boxing, I looked at every individual who held a major (WBC, WBA, IBF and WBO) world title during 1991 from heavyweight, down to lightweight. I didn't go any further down the weightclasses simply because by that time, I'd got my target sample of around 50. Actually, 46 of them. This time, there were two deaths. Magne Havna, a Norwegian who held the WBO cruiserweight title died aged 40 in a 2004 boat accident. Edwin Rosario, a four time champion who held the WBA light welterweigfht title during '91, died, quite likely as a result of his drug addiction, in 1997 at the age of 34. In addition, Gerald McClellan, who held a portion oif the middleweight title almost died and was left permantly disabled as a result of brain injuries he sustained in a 1995 fight with Nigel Benn.
So, based on this sample - 14 of 51 wrestlers/performers active in 1991 are dead. 0 of 44 high level professional football players are dead. 0 of 50 musicians active in 1991 and '92 are dead. And 2 of 46 world champion boxers from that year are dead.
The point is, I wrote that column out of respect for the business and wanting to make it better before more wrestlers die long before their time. I care about this business, this industry, and the people who participate in it. Disagree with my opinions on it all you want. Hell, I encourage it. Argue it to the death with me, and I'll be nothing but respectful. But you do not tell me I'm ashamed of a business I love, and that I want it to change for me.
I want it to see it change for them, to have a better life, for their families to not have to lose a father, a brother, a mother, a wife, a friend, or countless others. I don't want to see another Chris Benoit incident where someone's brain gets beaten to the point that they are an 85-year-old dementia patient. I only threw out my idea in hopes that eventually the conversation will be started about making the business better for everyone in it, and to state that it's a selfish notion to feel that way really angered me.
If you are so bothered by what I write that it makes you sick, feel free to not read it anymore, but I'm not about to tailor my opinions and perspectives for the sake of everyone agreeing with me. This is a column about professional wrestling; in other words, entertainment for a venue of entertainment. I don't get paid to do this, and a column means there's going to be opinion contained in it. Challenge me on every single opinion of Monday Night RAW that's about to follow, but you do not tell me that I'm ashamed of this business. If I did that, I'd be advocating for its removal, not for the betterment of those who participate in it.
All right, now that we're all in a good mood after that, let's get to RAW.
1. Is it just me, or is Monday's opening video starting like an episode of America's Most Wanted? All we need is Robert Stack in a trench coat describing the crimes of CM Punk and the vindication in the form of a mass-consuming time-traveling killing machine sent back into the past to alter the future. Okay, so maybe it's more like Twilight Zone, but that opening was a little out there nonetheless. We open up with Miz, who is speaking so softly that I can barely understand him. Heyman is defending Punk for leaving when RyVD arrived, but Miz isn't on the same page, and quits the team. Oh good, maybe the Master of the Skybox will fill the void of duckface on Team Heel. What the hell, now it really is like the Twilight Zone with another opening video about the AJ/Cena angle. "Submitted for your approval, a crazed laughing banshee is making an attempt to ruin someone's life based on something she's currently doing herself. Something that only happens in... The Wrestling Zone." (No pun with the site by the same name intended)
2. RAW starts off with Rey Mysterio, and it seems they're content with giving more jobber entrances to non-jobbers, as Sin Cara and the TROOF are already in the ring. Well we know who the captain of this team is, seeing as the other two weren't even worthy of entrances. Claudio Castagnoli is their first opponent, and we take up that entire thing for Touts from both Claudio and TROOF. Hey, you know how we used to do things like talking trash? PROMOS! Teaming with Claudio is MILLIONS OF DOLLAHS and their ubiquitous silent reaction. TROOF yells at the crowd, and we must be in Britain because they're fired up and responding to everything emphatically. Thank JBL, because terrible crowds have ruined shows in the last few weeks. Some guys in the background are doing the millions dance. That is pure awesome. It looks like Mysterio is going for a half-Riddler, half-Dark Knight look tonight... That, or it's just to trick TROOF into thinking he's Bane. Before anything really happens, we go into a commercial.
3. We come back in, and the action is still rather awkward. It picks up speed as MysteriCara go for a double-team move, and Claudio interrupts it with a sick backbreaker. Claudio is really stepping up and consistently delivering believable and "holy shit!" moves. Titus continues to work Mysterio's back, and it looks brutal. I've seen Claudio on Indy shows work with guys Mysterio's size to phenomenal success, and I am an advocate for it continuing. TROOF of all people gets a hot tag and cleans house, complete with a sort of Go2Sleep/Osaka Street Cutter combination. Sin Cara gets his in, and does a triple leg scissors, setting up the 619 and the Get Gotter/whatever he calls it, and team face wins with authority. Once they start talking about Twitter, I tune out, but notice during the commercials that LIEUTENANT DAN is speaking on behalf of a military fundraiser. He got new legs, NEW LEGS!
4. Look, I'm glad that Jerry Lawler is okay after what happened, but the way they're building up his comeback is a bit sickening. I'm skipping the highlight reel of All My Superstars before Vickie Guerrero comes out to talk about it more. She then reviews it for us again, in case we haven't seen it already from the highlight videos they've already shown, and the crowd is either loving it or mocking the hell out of her. Every single time they show these clips, I'm further reminded of how incredibly stupid this is.
5. Before Vickie can continue assaulting our ear drums with her dog whistle impression, Cena interrupts her to a true mixed reaction. A pop starts to break out before the men booing overtakes it. Cena even makes fun of himself in truly hammy fashion by saying that Vickie running a clean show is like him learning a new wrestling move. Okay, that was awesome. Cena FINALLY addresses how Vickie is a hypocrite for trying to uncover this scandal while she has her own dirty panty parade over the last few years. Vickie ignores all of it, and we have security footage of AJ... And she's in a bathrobe! OH NOEZ! Truly she was going to the sequel of Hulk Hogan's sex tape where the invisible man hulks up on GTV. They show a different angle of it, and the crowd does a build-up and a pop with "YES!" chants. This crowd fucking rules! Vickie suggests that they call out AJ, and the crowd starts a huge "YES!" chant. Britain, I love you.
6. The crowd continues to chant that they want AJ, and she finally appears on the Titan Tron. She is annunciating all of her syllables, so you know she's serious. She lets Vickie know not to make her angry, because she won't like her when she's Lee-Angry! As she does this, Dolphy Gunn puts his arm around her, and this draws Cena to the back, resulting in another pointless Dr. Evil laugh from the co-conspirator. The crowd and Cena's early ham are the only things that saved this from being a complete and utter disaster.
7. Meanwhile, back in San Francisco, Paulie is trying to sell Team Punk to someone off screen, who is revealed to be the hometown hero, Wade Barrett. Barrett disagrees with it, but then changes his mind on a whim that Heyman will owe him in writing, whatever the hell that means.
8. There's a sound of Wagner, and Britain goes nucking futs. Surprisingly, the tag team champions are coming out together, and it looks like Daniel Bryan is competing in singles competition against the jobber-entranced Cody Rhodes. Okay WWE, when I said you needed to save time, I didn't mean reducing entrances to a 25-percent basis! If Bryan hasn't officially turned face, he's sure being cheered like one. JBLdamn, I can't get over this. Bryan and Rhodes go back and forth before Bryan sends him vaulting over the top rope to a huge pop. Kane checks Rhodes before Sandow attacks him from behind. Bryan comes back with a dive to the outside, and Rhodes hits a Disaster Kick.
9. They get back in the ring quickly and Rhodes hits his finisher for the quick win to massive heat. Rhodes follows up his win on the mic by bragging about his win, and then says that Sandow could beat Kane just easily. Kane is clearly not impressed with this, and Kane pulls him into the ring via hair. They tease the match as we go into another commercial. This show is proof that a great and involved crowd can make anything amazing. I would've liked to have seen Bryan vs. Rhodes go on longer, because those two could probably put on a clinic, but the storyline is continuing, and I approve of that.
10. As we come back, I guess it did become a match, and Kane is on the offensive. Cole goes through everything he always says during every single Damien Sandow match, the same as he does when Randy Orton mounts a comeback and hears voices in his head. Sandow tries to come off the top rope and gets a throat thrust for his trouble. Rhodes gets up on the apron, and Bryan summons the great chanters of "YES!" on his side to defeat the evil match intruder. Both get tossed from ringside while Kane stands and looks confused. Sandow tries to plead with Kane, and gets smacked in the face for his troubles.
11. Sandow is a great cowardly heel when he's not being the arrogant prick. I love a multi-dimensional character like that, and as we are in the middle of this match, we should definitely start talking about Brad Maddox for several minutes. Call the fucking match! Kane hits the chokeslam and gets a relatively one-sided win to a good response for himself. Granted, it's nothing like the YESstorm that Danielson got, but it evens out the score of the feud for the night. Cole reminds us during this time that Sandow is the intellectual savior of the masses, in case we forgot in the span of that two minutes, presuming we've forgotten from the 384323 times he's already told us.
12. We come back to Michael Cole in the ring calling out Brad Maddox, who is wearing a flannel shirt and a vested suit? What in the squirrel is he thinking? Is she auditioning for the role of the New Real Man's Man, since they're in Britain? Cole shows him the clip of the incident in slow motion, saved only by the crowd singing along with it, and Cole demands an explanation. Maddox timidly grabs the microphone, as if it was a venomous snake about to strike, and claims that it was his own plan. He says that all he ever wanted to do was be a WWE superstar, and the crowd chants to feed them more. He's sent tapes everywhere, including the department of Talent Relations, which I guess John Laurinaitis dismissed.
13. He's telling the story that so many have, getting the chance at a developmental contract, and it's getting a sense of realism to the show. In a fully-accented chant, the crowd tells him that he can't wrestle. Fantastic. Maddox says "never" four times, leading me to expect a Chris Jericho "eeeeeeeeeeeeeever," and Maddox claims that he won't let his dream die. This is actually a great angle, and I love it. It's great reasoning and realistic, and tells a story to which people can relate, even if it does make him a heel. The guy can obviously talk as well, leading me to believe that they're going to continue using him.
14. The heat has now grown to the point that we can barely hear Maddox speaking. Maddox continues to deny a connection with anyone involved, and a British-accented chant of "Feed Me More" breaks out. New Rule: All chants should have British accents from now on. Maddox announces that he'll try to get a chance at a contract in a match with RyVD, which may not be the brightest decision he's ever made, and "No Chance in Hell" cuts him off.
15. Vince McMahon comes out to an insane pop. He tells Maddox there's a difference between wanting to be famous and having a death wish. McMahon is still in the belief that he was involved in a conspiracy with it. McMahon offers him a million dollar contract if he can beat RyVD in a match. Are the Prime Time Players gonna sponsor this match? Vince then brings out Vickie and asks her about the issues at hand, and she turns into a little timid "Yes-Banshee." Vince questions her motives of letting Punk hide behind other wrestlers instead of defending the title. She suggests Dolph Ziggler, and Vince isn't impressed with that and accepts Ryback as the correct answer. But wait, there's more! Vince suggests a triple threat match as what she was thinking, and adds an ultra hammy, "If you say Dolph Ziggler, I'll fire you on the spot." Vickie argues for the stupid scandal, but McMahon argues for the valor of the man. She concedes and says Cena's name after some coaxing. I'm really confused. Are they doing both matches? Are Punk and Ryback now not in the Survivor Series match? Explain!
16. Ol' Lobsterhead comes out for his match with Miz, who decided that a main event match was far too good for his resume. Big Show then decides to come out, because the current match obviously had too much personality involved and it needed to be taken down a tad. Once again, they use the slow motion replay of Show's WMD, which is really getting annoying, and they recap Sheamus' Ginger "Snap" to add to it. Oh goodie, more Big Show on commentary, that's what I was hoping for! Cole actually asks him, "you referred to winning the title as euphoric, to use your words." Well yeah, that's why he quoted you, nimrod. Otherwise, it would be someone else's words, wouldn't it? Miz powders out of the ring so that we can focus entirely on the brilliance of Big Show on commentary before finally getting back in the ring. Big Show wants to remind you that he has an IRONCLAD contract... and that HE IS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS!
17. Bonus ham to the guys down front who have "Lobsterhead" and "Too Many Limes" signs. A dueling chant breaks out, despite the slow beginning of this match, and Sheamus starts to take control with the Forearm Chops of Doom. Miz takes advantage of Lobsterhead staring at Show, and sends him into the table and the ringpost. Miz starts delivering some pretty believable offense, and Show laughs about it before going into yet another during-match commercial.
18. Coming back from the commercial, we recap that Sheamus "hasn't been the same" since getting distracted by Big Show, and Miz is dominating. Show argues that he hasn't been the same since the match itself, and that he is psychologically scarred and forever changed. Well damn, now all he needs to do is wear the mask of the red death and play with fire. Big Show talking is actually making this match boring to watch, even though it's been pretty decent. Miz hits his "vintage" move, though I'm not sure how someone that young can have anything vintage, and Miz summons the power of his Smurf trunks to keep control of Ginger Snaps: The Real Game.
19. Show refers to himself as a cloud, because I guess he shadows the ground on Kapiti Plain. Sheamus comes back house of fire for a close fall. They're too busy arguing with Big Show to call the damn match, and Sheamus comes off the top rope with the Battering Ram. Lobsterhead misses the Brogue Kick, Miz goes for the SCF, and this match has really picked up. Miz runs into Michael Keaton Hears Voices in Static, and a BOOT TO THE HEAD! follows. A convincing win on Lobsterhead's part, but a great showing by the Miz as well.
20. Meanwhile backstage, Dolph Ziggler is pacing in front of Mr. McMahon's office. Vickie comes out, and now Dolph Ziggler is leading the heel team? What the hell sense does this make? Why would we book this mach only to change it around the next week? This whole match was booked on the premise of Punk vs. Foley, before Foley wasn't wrestling to give Ryback a spot, and now we've changed the captains of the team? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Vickie ends up booking a match teaming up Punk and Ziggles against RyVD and Cena, and Punk asks about five times, "What is wrong with her?" Oh sir, that was some glorious ham, but it doesn't make up for the COMPLETE LACK OF FUCKING LOGIC IN THIS BOOKING! Why have you ruined that awesome Survivor Series match?! What the fuck was the point in having Punk and Ryback on the teams in the first place if you're just going to change it next week? Why base it on Foley vs. Punk if now neither Foley and Punk are on it? That just leaves it as some of Foley's friends fighting random heels that happen to be in storyline against the guys in the match! If they had just booked the title match and the Survivor Series match the way they had it in the first place, that would make much more sense than this mess! START MAKING SENSE, BOOKING!
21. Um... To quote Zach Ruggiero, "Was that supposed to be a vignette, or an abstract-as-fuck Fandango commercial?" That's all I have to say about that. Lobsterhead is backstage with... WILLIAM REGAL APPEARANCE! Awesome! Oh no, soap opera recaps, fast forward...
22. Ah, not much better, as it's a Diva's tag match. Eve and Aksana. Yay. Please don't get overwhelmed with my excitement here, but a pin dropping sounded like a Daniel Bryan pop in comparison to their reaction. Kaitlyn and Layla get more jobber entrances, and even Layla being British didn't get much of a reaction. The match starts out and Layla tries an overly-complicated springboard move and botches it badly. Hmm, I wonder what's new on my Facebook wall. Oh, Kaitlyn won. Good for her? Speaking of feigned excitement, backstage, the Black Hole of Charisma runs into Rosa Mendes randomly. Okay. Dammit, I'm caught up on the DVR now, so that means I can't fast forward through both sides of political ads.
23. Kofi Kingston is out for his match with the Black Hole of Charisma. Hmm, a guy with his first newfound aggressive streak against a guy who seems to need a new one after every lost Pay-Per-view opportunity. We see highlights of Smackdown where the "face" Randy Orton attacks Alberto and Ricardo backstage by throwing hot coffee on Ricardo because... That's what faces do now. Kofi and Del Rio lock up as Cole and JR continue to talk about the Survivor Series matches, but at least these two are actually involved in it. Technical-wise, this is a very strong match so far, as they trade control. Kofi isn't getting very much of a reaction, surprisingly, as even his former tag team partner TROOF was getting a huge face pop. Is Del Rio so boring that people won't even cheer against him?
24. Hey, now that he's in a rest hold, there's some face heat. Del Rio hits an awesome backbreaker and continues the cheap heat. Kofi starts to fight back by trading psychological moves with him, and that's really smart to do to show his newfound ruthless aggression. Kingston goes for the Trouble in Paradise for a lukewarm reaction, Del Rio tries for his move, and then Kingston connects with the SOS. Do you see how nice this is, seeing a match whole without five minutes of it lost to commercial?! Before Del Rio can try to close out the match, Orton's music hits, allowing Kingston the distraction and the Diva's Roll-up of Doom for the win. Del Rio tries his best to look upset, and then Randy Orton comes from behind and hits an RKO. More recaps, time for a snack. Political commercial, mute.
25. The Del Rio JOB Squad is out for their match. They'll be facing Primo and Epico, and the good news for these guys is for once, one of these teams is going to win this match. Santino looks like he's put on some weight lately, anyone else see that? Anyway, I guess Primo and Epico are heels now... Not sure when that happened. Santino does his usual silliness, but it's getting a reaction here so it works. This match is so exciting that we have to talk about Cena and Ryback teaming up f or the entire time. To their credit, Primo and Epico combine high-flying moves with being heels. Santino hams it up by trying to walk past the ref. Ryder continues taking the heat while the crowd does their best to give a shit. Santino gets the lukewarm tag and hits the hip toss, so I'm guessing he's about to get Santino'd. Ryder comes in with his finisher, and Santino grabs the sock. He actually hits it, and in a clash of the jobbers, these guys go over for the first time in a long time. It was nice to not see them lose in the exact same way they have in almost every other match in their short history.
26. Hey Sis, guess what? FUNK IS ON A ROLL! FUNK IS ON A ROLL! Aaaaand they just made him the default heel in this match because he's facing Wade Barrett in his home-country Skybox. Brodus gets in some offense to heavy heat, and throws Barrett around a little bit. Barrett counters a charging Brodus with a Black Hole Slam, and the crowd comes alive like Frampton. It's weird seeing a heel take the cheap heat and get massive cheers during it. Mark my words, Wade Barrett will be the first British world champion. Brodus comes back with his Rhino headbutt and the corner splash. He goes for a second one, and with the crowd eating out of his hands, Barrett gets the huge win. I really feel for Brodus being de-pushed so emphatically and being put in a default heel position against the hometown guy. I'm guessing his repackaging is following Biff Swagger's rather soon. Hey, in case you didn't know, Cena and Ryback are teaming for the first... OR WILL IT BE THE LAST TIME?! In case you weren't aware that both of those contingencies might take place! It's so nice of them to remind us for once.
27. IT'S THE THREEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAN BAAAAAAAAAND, BABAY! Interesting that the Scot isn't with them, so I guess it's only 2MB tonight. Who are they facing but the Uso's, completel with their pyroriffic entrance. Holy hell, I didn't realize they were even still around. Oh wait, this is Slater vs. one of the Uso twins, implying that a small feud may break out here. I'm okay with that; these guys deserve some time to shine. 3MB is the next heel team to be over as faces in England, though to be fair, the Usos are getting some reactions too. This is the first time I've heard a "3-M-B!" chant that I can recall, and this small singles match is going surprisingly well. Overall though, I appreciate the massive amount of focus on the tag team division this week. Jey starts a comeback, but Slater hits a really sweet kick to get him back down. Slater eventually gets a good win for himself, and Team MP3 continues to look strong.
28. Living Colour hits, and despite their best effort to show one kid booing, Punk is seriously over in Britain. Punk continues his promo brilliance, and even insults the crowd a few times, but they don't care. Announcing that he is the best in the world gets a pretty good pop. Punk did his best to not revert to face tactics for the adoring crowd, but it didn't matter much. These guys don't seem to be swayed by heel/face disposition. I still say this booking makes absolutely no sense. I mean, I can kinda see Ziggles being in a feud with Foley, but they built it up as a Punk square-off. Why would they do this? This takes the entire premise of last week's RAW and flushes it down the toilet. What, Ryback got booed last week after the big announcement, so let's put him in a title match instead? WHY?! I really hope this isn't a move of regretting not having Ryback win the title, just to play hot potato to give it back to Punk. Keep the continuity with Punk and give us that Rock/Punk match we deserve.
29. Cena gets almost universal heat, but the T-1000 gets a pretty welcoming reaction. This is of course a perfect time to go to a commercial, seeing as it's already five til eleven. When we come back, the dueling Cena chants are in stereo, although being accented makes even them awesome. It changes to a pro-Punk chant as Cena and Punk trade momentum. Cena and Ziggler start chain wrestling. Take that, Five Moves of Doomers! For the first time in seven weeks, Cena gets in the ring for the first time in seven weeks, and after seven weeks of being sidelined for seven weeks, he shakes off seven weeks of seven week rust to wrestle for the first time in seven weeks. Ziggles takes advantage and does a ridiculous amount of elbow drops to a pretty good pop. That takes an absurd amount of endurance. Cena tries to give up, and Ziggles pulls a little T-1000 and does a pretty sick clothesline of his own. As Cena continues taking all the heat, it's officially not a dueling Cena chant, but a dueling Cena/Punk chant. Cena comes out of nowhere with an Attitude Adjustment of all things, but Ziggles gets the tag in just in time. Ziggles pulls a Danielson and says he's got til five! Take a hint, Danielson! Bring that back!
30. You know eventually, you're going to have to have RyVD in a lengthier match. Having him not even be in the match for most of the match doesn't count. Damn, after a very long duration of cheap heat, Ziggler's head makes a sick thud on the ringpost before RyVD finally gets the hot tag. Ziggles does what he does best and summons HBK at Summerslam against Hogan for his levels of selling. Ryback cleans house, hits a Clothesline from Skynet, takes no offense, and wins completely clean again. You know, a lengthier match or taking some offense wouldn't kill this guy's momentum or anything. Cena gets in the ring with a questioning expression. They have a staredown, and Ryback demands more consumption. Before we're treated to anything interesting, the show goes off the air. Well, the match was good. Not thrilled with the champion again looking like complete shit, but overall the show wasn't bad. The biggest problem was how they took the complete lack of logic in the AJ/Cena storyline and transcended into the WWE title scene with it. The logistical errors override the quality of the show, unfortunately.
DID SOMEONE ORDER A LARGE HAM?
John Cena regains a slice of ham with making fun of himself in his promo by responding to the Five Moves of Doomers.
1-9-12 – R-Truth
1-16-12 - John Laurinaitis
1-23-12 - William Regal
1-29-12 - Ricardo Rodriguez
1-30-12 - R-Truth
2-6-12 - Triple H
2-13-12 - Shawn Michaels
2-19-12 – Santino Marella
2-20-12 - John Cena
2-27-12 – Al Laiman, for thinking no one read this
3-5-12 – John Laurinaitis
3-12-12 - James Roday
3-19-12 - Theodore Long
3-26-12 - Booker T
4-1-12 - Santino Marella
4-2-12 - Dolph Ziggler
4-9-12 - Will Sasso
4-16-12 - Daniel Bryan
4-23-12 – CM Punk
4-29-12 - Teddy Long's name tag
4-30-12 - John Laurinaitis
5-7-12 - Paul Heyman and Jeff
5-14-12 - John Cena
5-20-12 - John Cena
5-21-12 - Santino Marella
5-28-12 - CM Punk
6-4-12 - Michael Cole
6-11-12 - Ricardo Rodriguez
6-18-12 - AJ
6-25-12 - Chris Jericho
7-2-12 - Chris Jericho
7-9-12 - Daniel Bryan
7-15-12 - AW
7-16-12 - JTG
7-23-12 - Mae Young's son
7-30-12 - R-Truth/Daniel Bryan
8-6-12 - Daniel Bryan
8-13-12 - Roddy Piper
8-19-12 - Kane
8-20-12 - Paul Heyman
8-27-12 - Kane
9-3-12 - Kane/Daniel Bryan
9-10-12 - Kane/Daniel Bryan
9-17-12 - JBL
9-24-12 - Paul Heyman
10-1-12 – Ricardo Rodriguez
10-8-12 - JR
10-15-12 - Kane
10-22-12 - Daniel Bryan
10-29-12 - 3MB
11-5-12 - John Cena
IN CASE YOU MISSED LAST WEEK'S EPISODE