IN LAIMAN'S TERMS: 30 Thoughts About... RAW 1-23-12
1. A good crowd makes a show better, and an apathetic crowd can take away from a good show. Interestingly enough, we saw both instances of that take place on this episode of RAW. The crowd gave CM Punk a huge response, while the R-Truth/Miz match was so quiet, Eve thought she was supposed to be coming out.
2. CM Punk was definitely NOT impressed with John Cena interrupting him. Oh how I love that meme.
3. Cena is straight to the point and intense while Punk is, dare I say, hamming it up? It's interesting to see the contrast of personalities about a half year from their Money in the Bank feud. While Punk continues to be the anti-authority Pipe Bomb face, Cena's really starting to show heel tendencies, especially later in the show.
4. Why was Jack Swagger holding the mic like a teacup? At least his pinky wasn't sticking out.
5. Dolph Ziggler does a Ric Flair strut, as well as reminding me a lot of both Curt Hennig and Larry Sweeney. He's playing his part in this feud perfectly.
6. Surprisingly enough, so is John Laurinaitis. Not only is it refreshing to have a main-event feud with a new authority figure, but Punk is the perfect foil for him. He's using his blandness to an advantage, so you never know if he's being a dick intentionally. It's rather enjoyable.
7. Chris Jericho breaking out the t-shirt gun reminds me of an interesting thing about attending a house show. The t-shirt guy gets both the loudest pop and biggest heat of the entire night. I never understood booing the poor guy after he does his job, but that's what happens.
8. Speaking of big pops, Jericho gets a huge one just for uttering a word. It's quite intriguing how the pre-return videos may play into his current Silent Treatment gimmick. I'll give them credit, they've drawn out a storyline longer than a week without rushing to a conclusion.
9. Despite a lot of signs in the audience, Zack Ryder doesn't get a very good response. Just not a Zack-friendly audience, or a result of the booking of the guy in the past few weeks?
10. I'll admit to never really getting into the Zack Ryder character, but I don't think he deserves the fault for the ratings.
11. Kane has been on a roll since his return, and is finally being the vicious machine he should've been about ten years ago.
12. The sure devoted a lot of time to beating the shit out of Zack Ryder, even going to obnoxious lengths of using the "super serious selling" voices.
13. All I wanted to see when Eve told John Cena that Zack being taken out was his fault was a brief Gene Snitsky return.
14. CENA ANGRY! With now being blamed for the actions of Kane, it looks like Cena may embrace the hate, at least in his match against Kane on Sunday. Where this is going is anyone's guess, which makes for three storylines that are not only intriguing, but not blatantly predictable; the Punk/Laurinaitis and Jericho ones joining them respectfully.
15. Sheamus sure has to face Jinder Mahal a lot recently. Maybe Jinder has a lime cloning experiment going on inside a Dodge dealership and is determined to make Hustle's Lobsterhead rant longer than the actual column... which I have no problem with.
16. Dear Mr. Anderson... THAT was a Green Bay Plunge that didn't suck.
17. I laughed out loud at Miz hamming it up with "What do you WANT?" mid-sentence. I wonder if his losing streak is leading to something.
18. It was postulated in a comment in my previous column that Miz may be being punished for who his girlfriend was, much the same we've possibly seen with John Morrison and Drew McIntyre. There might be some credence to this, as he has been losing a lot lately after being built up for several years.
19. Did R-Truth just use the word "nincompoop"? That's a sentence I admit I never thought I'd have to write.
20. John Laurinaitis couldn't concentrate and asked if we knew why. I assume it's because David Otunga can't figure out how to drink coffee without slurping it like an insipid twatwaffle.
21. I know WWE likes to tout any ratings success, no matter how insignificant (or inaccurate) it may be, but seriously... Beating the NBA in ratings is as impressive as Heath Slater's offense against Brodus Clay.
22. William Regal needs to do commentary more often. I laughed out loud more than once, especially at the line about looking like a walrus giving birth. I always did mark when he called someone "sunshine", but just having Regal in anything is instant awesome.
23. Miz being the number one entry in the Royal Rumble is a good chance to start rebuilding him, ala Chris Jericho in 2003. He most likely won't win it, but lasting a while and making impressive moments happen is a good way to start the process.
24. With a broken back diagnosis in what has to be record time for getting through the ER to a room, let alone getting a doctor, Zack Ryder must have really done something wrong to be written out of the storylines for that long. Hell, even in pro wrestling, a broken back can keep you out for a good six weeks.
25. CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis... I'm sure it'll go down exactly that way with no hindering obstacles whatsoever.
26. Apparently David Otunga is going to wrestle in a sweatervest. I've always thought that argyle might protect against some Low-ki style chops. Why even bother at that point?
27. The tension was built up between Laurinaitis and Punk perfectly, and all I could think was remembering Austin stunning Vince McMahon for the first time and how that catapulted him in popularity.
28. Dolph Ziggler killed the moment a little too quickly in my opinion, but the table is set for my favorite event of the year. Three really strong stories going in add to the anticipation that the Rumble match itself always brings.
29. I know it's in Orton's hometown and all, but my personal hatred of Orton aside, I really hope he doesn't win the Rumble itself. I saw a lot of people arguing against Super Chrisss's article about it, including how thinking anyone but Orton winning is the worst thing ever, but if they're serious about continuing the trend of building new names, the absolute last thing they should do is have a guy win the Rumble who A. Already won one, and B. Doesn't need the rub.
30. It's really hard to avoid getting RAW spoilers when you have to wait until Tuesday night to see it, but so far so good. Another fun episode of RAW, another fun time thinking of thoughts as I watch it.
DID SOMEONE ORDER A LARGE HAM?
1-9-12 - R-Truth
1-16-12 - John Laurinaitis
This week, it was no contest. William Regal comes away with it for his over-the-top insistence that he's a better dancer than Brodus Clay. It had me laughing the whole time.
1-23-12 - William Regal
HUSTLE CAN READ
I want to thank Hustle for his kind words about my book, and hope that it encourages a few of you to check it out in the near future. Hustle's Review
Thank you for reading everyone, and as always, this has been In Laiman's Terms.
