Hustle Is Posting Right Now - Lots Of Hell, Not So Much Cell
Oct 27, 2012 - 3:02:01 PM
"Get me out of this hell in a cell.."
Hello, all. Long time no talk. How are you? How are the kids?
I haven't been around in a while, but there's somewhat of a reason for that. I've been working on some much larger columns that required a lot of my attention. Those columns are coming soon.. hopefully.. but for the time being, let's get right back into the swing of things. Hell In A Cell is coming, and it's time for some predictions. As is always the case, not only will I be giving my picks for who I think will win, but I'll be talking about who would win if I was in charge of those types of decisions. Let's get on with it already, though.
Can you dig it, baby? I know you can.
Eve VS Kaitlyn VS Layla - Triple Threat Match for the Divas Title
Aren't you all just super excited for this one? I know I am. Looking at the match, I suppose it really could go in all three directions. You could make an argument for all three women to win, but in my mind, there's really only one outcome that will work. Only one of these women remains over on a regular basis. The other two women sometimes struggle to get any sort of real crowd reactions, even though one of them is probably the best in-ring performer of the three. Really, this one is easy, if you ask me, and you technically are, since you're reading the column.
Who Will Win: Eve
Who Should Win: Eve
Randy Orton VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio
Man, this pay-per-view is off to an absolutely epic start, isn't it? From talking to a lot of people about this card, this is very well might be the match that people are looking forward to the least. Most of you could not care less about the WWE Divas in the ring, but at least you'll get to see half-naked women running around the ring and bouncing around for a few minutes. Sure, there are those of my readers who happen to think Orton and/or ADR are attractive, so you get to see them half-naked and running around the ring, but for the most of this, this is going to be a.. methodical.. match. I have no doubt that it will be technically sound. I'm not expecting numerous botches and sloppy moments. It's just that the combination of their in-ring styles makes for some bland matches. When you look at the outcomes, and the directions these two could go in based on a win or a loss here, I think you have to look positively in Orton's direction. While I understand that he has had something of an iffy last several months when it comes to his outside-the-ring activities, he remains Randy Orton. He remains one of the top names in all of wrestling. He's also someone that hasn't been involved in the WWE/World Title pictures for a while. He dropped the World Title on September 18th, 2011 and he hasn't had it since. Does the company trust him enough to be the World Champion? Obviously, only they know that, but either way, I think it's time to start building him back to that point again. Maybe.. just maybe.. maybe.. someone in WWE will finally realize that ADR needs some sort of a character makeover, or at least a slower route to the top, if he's going to be anything near a top level guy in the company. God, one can only hope.
Who Will Win: Randy Orton
Who Should Win: Randy Orton
Kofi Kingston VS The Miz - Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title
This one is super simple. If you know anything about me from my previous 1200+ columns, you'll know just how much I hate when promotions play "hot potato" with titles. Kofi won the IC Title from The Miz less than two weeks ago. If he drops it here, it will mark the third IC Title reign of 2012 that lasted less than 30 days, and would be the shortest IC Title reign since Johnny Nitro defeated Jeff Hardy on the November 6th, 2006 episode of Raw, only to lose it back to Hardy on the following episode of Raw. If Kofi loses here, it would also prove all of the "rumors" incorrect. You know the rumors.. Kofi is in line for another singles push, WWE officials are fans of Kofi and want to push him again, yadda yadda ya. Those rumors. How much of a singles push would it be to have him win the IC Title, only to have him drop it back almost immediately to someone that has been booked as a joke for a long time? Kofi has to get the win here, and move far, far away from feuding with The Miz. Let's see just how much he gets pushed this time.
Who Will Win: Kofi Kingston
Who Should Win: Kofi Kingston
Team Hell No VS Team Rhodes Scholars - Tag Team Match for the Tag Team Titles
First and foremost, can I just say how much I dislike the name "Team Rhodes Scholars"? They should just be Rhodes Scholars. The "Team" part isn't necessary at all. The "Team" part works for their opponents here, as Hell No just makes for a weird name. Anyway, enough with that gobbledygoo. Let's get to the match itself. This one intrigues me. On one hand, I think it's clear that Damien Sandow is going to play a big role in the future of WWE, whether it's the distant or not-too-distant versions of it. Cody Rhodes, of course, it hit-or-miss when it comes to his booking. Sometimes it looks like he'll be getting some sort of a major push, and other times, it looks like he'd lose to anyone on the roster. On the other hand, of course, we have a team that is clearly being used to rejuvenate the entire tag division. With Daniel Bryan and KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE having the Tag Team Titles in their possession, there is much more focus on them, on the titles, and on the division, as a whole. That's a beautiful thing. In a lot of instances, not only would I be alright with Sandow and Rhodes winning this match and the titles, but I'd call for it. In this particular instance, though.. I just don't think it's time. We just saw Rhodes Scholars form not that long ago. They'll have their time to shine, if booked correctly. In fact, I think they will be the next Tag Team Champions. I just don't think it will happen here. Let these teams continue to feud, while perhaps building up another team or two, and everything will be good.
Who Will Win: Team Hell No
Who Should Win: Team Hell No
Sheamus VS Big Show - Singles Match for the World Title
Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. I'm so excited to see Big Show in another main event-level match. Can we just cut the bullshit already, ladies and gentlemen? Sheamus should win this match. Show is fine in the "I'm a huge monster, so it's going to take a better-than-usual effort from anyone to defeat me", and that's what we have here. In the world of kayfabe, Sheamus will have to dig down a lot deeper to defeat a man of Big Show's size, but he'll get the job done. He should. Big Show should be beyond the point in his career where he holds the WWE or World Title, just because of how limited he is, and how one-dimensional all of his feuds would be. Oh, and the fact that crowds don't react to him to that level doesn't help him much. Let's move on.
Who Will Win: Sheamus
Who Should Win: Sheamus
But wait.. there's more..
I'm going to get in line with the popular line of thinking, and I'm going to predict that Dolph Ziggler cashes in his Money In The Bank title shot after the match, and will cash in successfully. The Sheamus/Show match isn't inside Hell In A Cell, but it's not difficult to fathom that Sheamus will be worn down after winning the match. It also isn't difficult to fathom an angry Show knocking Sheamus out with the WMD punch as Sheamus celebrates the win. Show storms off, Ziggler runs down, cashes in, and we have a brand new World Champion. Hopefully, his second World Title reign goes better than his first one did, and yes, folks, whether you want it to or not, his first reign still counts in the record books.
CM Punk VS Ryback - Hell In A Cell for the WWE Title
I'm a big Ryback fan, but let me be completely honest for a minute.. it is absolutely, positively too soon for Ryback to be WWE Champion. Way too soon. He still has a few months worth of build before that can be a feasible option. I know people are complaining that WWE screwed themselves over by essentially putting "streak VS streak" inside the Cell, but those people seem to be forgetting the fact that this match is an emergency replacement that had to be put together at the last minute. The original plan, of course, was Punk VS Cena here. I'm often tough on the WWE creative team, but given what they were dealt at the last minute, I think they've done just fine with putting this match together, taking advantage of Ryback's sudden surge in popularity with live crowds. Something else I disagree with when it comes to opinions I've seen recently is what will happen to Ryback if he loses here. I've seen people all but declare that Ryback is dead if he loses this match. That's so incorrect, it hurts my brain to think about. The only way a loss here really hurts Ryback is if he gets decimated in there, and is pinned in less than five minutes. Now, go ahead and raise your hand if you actually think that's going to happen. I'll wait..
..yeah, I didn't think so. If Ryback puts on his usual show of power and physical offense, he comes out of the match looking good, even in a loss, especially with some sort of screwy ending of some sort.
"But Hustle.. it's inside of a Cell.."
Yes, I'm aware of that. Let's go with the obvious route, though, just for an example. Let's say that Ryback is having the upper hand in the match, and it looks like he's getting ready to finish things off.. BOOM.. Brock Lesnar's music hits.. Lesnar comes down, rips the door right off of the Cell, and interferes in the match. Punk takes advantage of that distraction to get the win. Ryback loses, but it took outside shenaniganery to make it happen. That way, it also helps to give us a potential WrestleMania 29 match of Ryback VS Lesnar, which could see some amazing build.
The x-factor, of course, is John Cena. Unless something happens earlier in the show.. Vickie Guerrero kicking him out of the arena to continue the AJ Lee "affair" storyline.. you'd have to think that he wouldn't just sit in the back and watch as Brock Lesnar ran out and interfered in the match, especially with the history he has with Brock. Lesnar coming out to interfere, only to be stopped by Cena, could still be enough of a distraction for Punk to sneak out a win over Ryback here. It also, depending on Brock's contract and the dates he has on it, gives us a potential John Cena & Ryback VS CM Punk & Brock Lesnar main event at Survivor Series. If WWE really does want to get Punk all the way to the Royal Rumble as the WWE Champion, a pay-per-view match involving him that doesn't feature the WWE Title will really help, and with Cena going all out to help put Ryback over, it would fit that he'd be more upset than usual that Lesnar interfered in a match that should have been something that saw a clean finish. That's the only way that they could get through another month without putting Punk and Cena back into another match right away. That can wait until December, when the brand new Barclays Center in Brooklyn can get a TLC Match between Punk and Cena to finally close out this chapter of their feud. For now, though, Punk escapes as WWE Champion once again.
Who Will Win: CM Punk
Who Should Win: CM Punk
In all the months that I've done these "Who Will Win/Who Should Win" pay-per-view predictions columns, I think this is the first time that every match saw the same answer for both. I don't know if I should be more impressed or frightened.
Enjoy the event, folks.
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