I'm going to say this right here, right now.. I don't feel like doing a column tonight. Not at all. If you know me at all, you know why. This wasn't even what I was going to write about, originally, but the other column was going to be a "happier" piece, and I'm damn sure not ready to be all happy and smiley right now. Fuck that nonsense.
Instead, I want to write about William Regal.
It wasn't a surprise, but Regal took to Twitter today to publicly ask for a shot at the World Title at some point. He was quick to point out that he knows he doesn't deserve a World Title shot, but he still wants a World Title shot. He pointed out that he has given Daniel Bryan help and guidance through the years without asking for anything in return, but is now trying to "cash in", so to speak. I say it wasn't a surprise because we've heard this from Regal before. He's made no secrets about wanting one shot to become a World/WWE Champion before he retires.
Making it interesting is the fact that Daniel Bryan is the only person Regal wrestles anymore. Not really, of course, but it seems like it. Regal's last match for the company was in early-November, and in that match, he faced Bryan on Superstars. Regal's last televised match that wasn't a random appearance in a Battle Royal of some sort was in December 2010, when he faced Bryan on Raw. The company realizes the history they have together, so when everything else fails, they know they can just call on Bryan and Regal to go out there and have an entertaining match.
However, the first problem is the fact that we're currently on the Road To WrestleMania. Bryan has a title defense coming up at the Royal Rumble. Yes, we have an episode of Raw and an episode of Smackdown to go before we get to the Royal Rumble, but what sense would it make for Bryan to defend the World Title prior to the pay-per-view, especially against someone who is barely on television? If.. and with the odds stacked against Bryan, having to step into a Steel Cage with both Mark Henry and Big Show, that's quite a big "if".. Bryan retains the World Title, I suppose you could have him defend the title against Regal on an episode of Smackdown between Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. Let's look at the television schedule between the events..
- Raw on January 30th (from Kansas City, Missouri)
- Smackdown on January 31st (aired on February 3rd, from Omaha, Nebraska)
- Raw on February 6th (from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma)
- Smackdown on February 7th (aired on February 10th, from Tulsa, Oklahoma)
- Raw on February 13th (from San Diego, California)
- Smackdown on February 14th (aired on February 17th, from Fresno, California)
Some of you are wondering why I even bothered to list where the shows will be coming to us from. The reasoning is simple.. Daniel Bryan VS William Regal is a smark-friendly match, and would work a lot better in a smark-friendly city. It would defeat the whole point of everything if you build Regal up for a World Title shot and he comes out for his match to no reaction at all because the fans of that city don't know/care about him. None of those cities really scream out "smark" to me. Let's move on.
The next possible step would be to have Regal be a part of Smackdown's Elimination Chamber. Look, as much as I'd mark out for that, it's not happening. So, moving along with the premise that Bryan will retain his title through another pay-per-view, let's look at the next set of televised events..
- Raw on February 20th (from Minneapolis, Minnesota)
- Smackdown on February 21st (aired on February 24th, from Rockford, Illinois)
- Raw on February 27th (from Portland, Oregon)
- Smackdown on February 28th (aired on March 2nd, from Seattle, Washington)
- Raw on March 5th (from Boston, Massachusetts)
- Smackdown on March 6th (aired on March 9th, from Uncasville, Connecticut)
- Raw on March 12th (from Cleveland, Ohio)
- Smackdown on March 13th (aired on March 16th, from Columbus, Ohio)
- Raw on March 19th (from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)
- Smackdown on March 20th (aired on March 23rd, from Newark, New Jersey)
- Raw on March 26th (from Atlanta, Georgia)
Alright, now we're talking. There are some smark-friendly (to varying degrees) cities in there. The only catch is that the smark-friendly cities are hosting Raw, making it much more difficult to put a World Title match together. Yes, we have Teddy Long showing up on Raw and putting matches that feature Smackdown workers together, but why would he put a World Title match on Raw? Why wouldn't he save it for his own show? Just for the sake of the column, let's move on once again.
The next step would be to have Bryan VS Regal at WrestleMania. I don't even have to bring up just how unlikely that would be, especially for the World Title. Again, for the sake of the column, let's move along with the premise that Bryan continues to find ways to retain his title, and let's look at the next set of televised events..
- Raw on April 2nd (from Miami, Florida)
- Smackdown on April 3rd (aired on April 6th, from Orlando, Florida)
- Raw on April 9th (from Washington, DC)
- Smackdown on April 10th (aired on April 13th, from Hampton, Virginia)
- Raw on April 16th (from London, England)
- Smackdown on April 17th (aired on April 20th, from London, England)
*Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding*
Televised events from England, you say? That would be a perfect time to have the match. Regal would be incredibly over, and the fans would still be respectful and knowledgeable about Bryan's abilities. It would be a great atmosphere. It was a great atmosphere in November, when they faced off on Superstars. If you throw the World Title into the mix, and the fact that Daniel Bryan could/should be 20 times more over in April than he was back in November. Of course, for that match to happen, it would mean that Daniel Bryan's World Title reign would need to reach a minimum of 120 days. That would be the longest World Title reign since KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE had it for 154 days between July and December 2010. It would be the longest reign of a first-time World or WWE Champion since The Miz had the WWE Title for 160 days between November 2010 and May 2011. I don't know if even the biggest of Daniel Bryan supporters can actually picture him holding the World Title for at least 120 days, with the Royal Rumble, Elimination Chamber, and WrestleMania all falling in that 120-day space. That would be an incredible reign. Maybe if it was at a different time of year, when the pay-per-views that fell in that span were looked at as "minor", but those events? That's almost like doubling the days and giving Bryan a 240-day reign.
Another direction, of course, would be for Bryan to drop the title at any point, only to win it back. For example, dropping it at the Royal Rumble, but winning it back at WrestleMania. On the new episode of the Lords Of Podcast Roundtable, OniBarubary and I both made comparisons between Daniel Bryan and Christian, and if Bryan dropped the title and won it back that quickly, it would be yet another similarity between Bryan and Christian. Normally, when a WWE worker wins his first World/WWE Title, it takes a longer time to win his second reign than a mere month or two. Christian's second World Title reign came a little over two months after his first reign. That's what we could be talking about here.
I'm not predicting anything in this column. I'm not saying Daniel Bryan will retain the World Title time and time again, and will head to England as the World Champion for the last four months. I'm not saying Daniel Bryan will drop the World Title at some point soon, and then win it back, heading to England as the two-time World Champion. I'm not even saying William Regal will get a World Title shot, no matter when it is or who it's against. This column is just to point out different scenarios. I haven't even necessarily thought too much beyond the Royal Rumble, and even then, I haven't made any actual predictions on any of the matches yet.
All I'm saying here is that April 17th/20th episode of Smackdown from London would be the perfect opportunity to have Daniel Bryan VS William Regal for the World Title. As I mentioned, it would be a great atmosphere, with the crowd being hot for both men, especially their "hometown hero" that is trying to defy the odds and win his first World Title. On top of that, it would be an amazing match, as both men can make legit claims to being one of the best technical workers on the planet today. Their match on Superstars was just over ten minutes, but imagine if they were given 15-20 minutes to work with, on top of the added intrigue of the World Title being on the line? With absolutely no hyperbole, I can say that match would end up being a Match Of The Year candidate. There's no doubt in my mind about it. They'd blow the roof off of the O2 Arena.
Again, I'm not saying it will happen, but WWE, I can't quite put into words how much I'd love to see it. Please find a way to make it happen.
"You come at the King, you best not miss."
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2. Day 23 "Let's get ready to Rumble.."
8:55pm: I want to take this time to let everyone know that next week's Running Diary will be a bit different than usual. That's all I'm going to say right now. Just know that it will be different. It might only be a one-week thing, though, depending on the popularity of it. We'll see.
9:00pm: Time for the Royal Rumble "go home" episode of Raw, coming to us from Phoenix, Arizona.
9:01pm: "Cult Of Personality" brings the WWE Champion, CM Punk, out to start the show. Nice crowd reaction for Punk.
9:04pm: "John Laurinaitis sucks at life." - Well, damn, Punk.. that's just mean.
9:06pm: Punk tells Laurinaitis that it will be very difficult for "Johnny" to referee the match at the Royal Rumble with two broken arms, so he should make his decisions very carefully.
9:07pm: Punk demands that Laurinaitis come out and tell him, to his face, that he's going to screw him at the Royal Rumble, but instead of Laurinaitis, John Cena comes out. Cena doesn't look happy at all.
9:09pm: Whoa.. Cena snaps at Punk, and then starts yelling at John Laurinaitis. HEEL TURN~!
9:10pm: Cena is still going to bat for Zack Ryder. Alright, man.. your relationship with Ryder is getting really creepy at this point. You're even speaking for him. You've turned into Bob Arum, while Ryder is playing Manny Pacquiao.
9:10pm: Cena demands that Laurinaitis come out, and he does. So, apparently, Laurinaitis will listen to Cena, but not Punk.
9:12pm: We're getting Zack Ryder VS KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE tonight, with the added stipulation that Ryder will never get a United States Title shot again if Cena interferes. We're also getting a tag match, as Laurinaitis has booked Cena & Punk against.. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger. That one could be fun.
9:14pm: Wait.. that tag match is happening now? Are we looking at some sort of bait-and-switch coming up?
9:17pm: Pure. Adrenaline.
9:19pm: Ziggler showing off with a semi-Flair strut, and then Cena mocks him by doing one, as well, although Cena's looked more like Jeff Jarrett's strut. If Jeff Jarrett was a heroin addict.
9:22pm: The crowd is pretty into this match. I guess that's what happens when you put the main eventers in the opening match, instead of making the crowd sit through a lot of garbage before the main eventers show up.
9:24pm: We're actually getting a full match here. I'm surprised, to be honest. I didn't think they'd give this match legit time during this spot. I figured we'd get some shenaniganery that would lead to this match happening again later.
9:25pm: Punk climbs to the top rope, but Laurinaitis (who was at ringside) jumps up on the apron to distract him. This leads to Ziggler getting the roll-up and pinning Punk to win the match. The fourth time in as many weeks that Ziggler has pinned Punk. If you're going to use Wrestling Logic #26714, I guess that means Punk is going to retain his title at the pay-per-view.
9:26pm: That was a nice match. Good crowd, too, which always helps things out.
9:27pm: In a post-match promo, Punk actually challenges Laurinaitis to a match tonight.
9:28pm: Wait.. what? Laurinaitis accepts?!? Alright.. that is where the bait-and-switch will take place, I guess. There's no way in hell we're actually going to get John Laurinaitis wrestling in a match tonight. No way.
9:33pm: Next up.. the return of The Highlight Reel, starring Chris Jericho. Alright, how are they going to play this off?
9:35pm: The trolling continues, as Jericho keeps signaling that he wants the crowd to be quiet so he can speak, and the boos are building up now.
9:35pm: He motions for the crowd to hold on, and then he leaves the ring, running up the ramp.. only to return with a t-shirt gun. If this doesn't end with him shooting a shirt at Hornswoggle, I'm going to be disappointed, no matter what else happens.
9:36pm: He continues trolling, putting the shirt gun down without actually shooting it, and now he has taken the camera from the camera guy, and is filming the crowd.
9:38pm: ..aaaaand now we're getting a video package for Jericho, showing his WWF debut, a bunch of rapid-fire career highlights, his "Save Us" return, more rapid-fire highlights.. and now, back to live time. Still no talking.
9:39pm: HE SPEAKS!!!
9:39pm: "This Sunday, at the Royal Rumble, it's going to be the end of the world as you know it." - That's all he said, but damn, the crowd popped huge when he spoke. Well, the storyline is moving forward, at least. Now everyone can start speculating as to what will happen at the Rumble, as Jericho has been officially announced as an entrant in the Rumble match. Storyline advancement is all I've asked for since Jericho returned, so now I can stop complaining about it. Hooray.
9:45pm: Now we get the same Royal Rumble video package that we get every year, going over the numbers.. what number has produced the most Rumble winners, how many Hall Of Famers have been in the Rumble through the years, etc. Nowhere to be mentioned, though.. the #14 curse. Best believe I'll be keeping an eye out on that Sunday.
9:48pm: Kinda early for that video package. They usually save that for towards the end of the show, before the main event.
9:50pm: Time for Zack Ryder VS KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE. John Cena talks to Ryder backstage and says that he's there for him, regardless of what John Laurinaitis said earlier, but Ryder tells him to stay out of it because he wants his rematch for the United States Title.
9:51pm: I wonder if this is what people feel like in the minutes before watching a criminal get executed?
9:54pm: Is this going to be the second straight week where Ryder just gets his ass kicked, with little to no offense on his part? Sure seems like it. If he couldn't muster offense against Jack Swagger, I really don't see him beating KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE's ass, even for a second.
9:58pm: We return from commercial break to see.. Zack Ryder getting his ass kicked some more. Like last week, though, he won't stay down. He's kicking out of KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE's pin attempts. It's hard to call it a complete squash when Ryder is at least trying to hang in there.
10:00pm: It's a Falls Count Anywhere match, so they're fighting in the crowd.
10:01pm: Ryder goes on offense!
10:01pm: His time on offense lasted for a whopping two seconds, and consisted of one weapon shot to the back, which only seemed to piss KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE off.
10:02pm: This is still going on. At this rate, we're going to check LoP tomorrow to find out that Ryder has been released.
10:04pm: KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE Chokeslams Ryder through the stage, sending him dropping just like the television ratings when Ryder's on. What's poppin, GLOW?
10:04pm: KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE goes after Eve, which then brings John Cena out to the stage. Wait.. the match isn't over. Does this count as Cena "interfering"?
10:05pm: I legit can't believe that WWE spent nearly 15 minutes on that match. It's one thing to have a squash, or to have someone written out of storylines with an injury, but that was a 15-minute decimation of Ryder. That was as close to being punished as anything we've seen in a long, long time.
10:09pm: We return from commercial, and it's still more television time for Zack Ryder. Now he's being stretchered out, with Eve trying to cry at his side. Big Show's crying >>>>>>>>>> Eve's "crying". Even Cena looks more emotional than Eve does right now. Hell, the referees that are helping to strap Ryder to the gurney look more emotional than Eve does.
10:14pm: As Cena is watching the ambulance drive off, Josh Matthews shows up to try and interview him. Inconsiderate much, Josh?
10:17pm: As we return from another commercial, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are discussing the Ryder incident. They're giving Ryder a lot of time here this week.
10:18pm: It's a shameful thing, Lobster Head!
10:19pm: Continuing the feud that just won't end, it's Sheamus VS Jinder Mahal here. Mahal seems to be growing out his facial hair a bit, in a possible attempt to confuse people into thinking he's Muhammad Hassan so they'll stop complaining about him.
10:22pm: Sheamus wins. Again.
10:23pm: I know I've said it before, but Wade Bar-ruh needs to play a villain in a James Bond movie before he dies.
10:25pm: A backstage promo from The Miz, where he discusses being the "#1 Superstar" leads to R-Truth coming out and calling him the "#1 Nincompoop". Yup. That just happened.
10:26pm: John Laurinaitis shows up to break up an argument between Miz and Truth, and he announces that their upcoming match will have the stipulation where the loser will be the #1 entrant in the Royal Rumble. Well, there Miz being #14 this year, like a lot of you predicted.
10:29pm: Showing how important they feel ratings are, WWE has once again ruined a surprise by promoting a returning wrestler beforehand. This time, they're announcing that Randy Orton will be making his return to Smackdown this week. There needs to be more surprises.
10:31pm: William Regal is on commentary!
10:32pm: lol @ Regal referring to Brodus Clay as "400 pounds of septic tripe". We love you, Regal. Never leave us.
10:33pm: The funk is on a roll!
10:33pm: LMFAO @ Regal quoting Grandmaster Flash on commentary, complete with the laugh from "The Message". That was epic. That was the hardest I've laughed during Raw in a while. Wow.
10:33pm: Remember how I said Brodus gives us something different with every appearance? Well, he has a new track suit on this time. Instead of the usual red, it's a white one, complete with new in-ring attire, as well.
10:35pm: The Funkasaurus wins another squash match, this time against Heath Slater. The Phoenix crowd seemed into Brodus. He continues to get over. I'm not going to call a main event run for the guy or anything, but he's making something out of what most of us viewed as nothing when he debuted, so all the credit in the world to him.
10:43pm: R-Truth comes out for his match, and he has a new "Lil Jimmy Says.." shirt. Damn.. even Lil Jimmy gets his own shirt these days.
10:44pm: I guess Phoenix is tired, because this is as dead as they've been all show long. I guess that's what happens when The Miz is on the scene these days.
10:49pm: This has been a pretty bland match. It's pretty paint-by-numbers. There's no smooth transitions between spots. It's just "I'm going to perform this move, and then you'll get up after a second and do this, and then I'll get up and do this".
10:52pm: R-Truth wins. The Miz will enter the Royal Rumble at the #1 spot. Yikes.
10:53pm: Jerry Lawler reveals to the world that Zack Ryder broke his back, but not before saying that the medical news on Ryder "could not be worse". Owen Hart would disagree, King. It's amazing how quick the doctors in Phoenix are. They officially diagnosed him already. If I ever get injured, I'm going to Phoenix to find out what's wrong with me.
10:55pm: "I can't think of any worse news." - Jerry Lawler, again speaking about Ryder's injury. Every deceased wrestler in the history of ever would disagree, King. Jesus Christ, could you oversell this any more?!?
10:55pm: Laurinaitis, in his KKK Grand Wizard robe (shout-out to Cag), is warming up for the main event. lol @ the Johnny Ace skateboard behind him. David Otunga walks in and hands him a message that upsets both men. Bait-and-switch, here we come?
11:01pm: It's main event time.. CM Punk VS John Laurinaitis.. but as you can tell by the time stamp, there isn't a whole lot of time left in the show. This isn't looking too good.
11:03pm: David Otunga is out to read the message he shared with Laurinaitis earlier, and it's from "The Board". They aren't happy with Laurinaitis, and on next week's episode of Raw, Laurinaitis will receive a "formal job evaluation" by none other than.. a returning Triple H. They're promoting a return beforehand again. All I can say about Laurinaitis' job status, though, is.. uh-oh.
11:05pm: Time for Laurinaitis to kiss up to Punk in an apparent attempt to smooth things over with "The Board". Laurinaitis reveals that Mick Foley will be in the Royal Rumble this year, and something in the vicinity of four people cheered. That was funny.
11:07pm: Laurinaitis says that, under the circumstances, tonight's match won't be happening, but that he has a suitable replacement.. which leads to Otunga attacking Punk. Otunga's advantage lasts all of ten seconds, though, and Punk makes him tap out to the Anaconda Vice (although the match never officially started).
11:09pm: Well, damn. Punk lays Laurinaitis out with Go To Sleep, and as you can tell, Mr Excitement is always working overtime..
11:10pm: As Punk celebrates, Dolph Ziggler sneaks into the ring and lays him out. We go off the air with Ziggler standing tall.
#ThankYouPeopleWhoActuallyHaveASenseOfHumor: CM Punk & John Cena VS Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger.. Actual advancement (albeit only a small amount) in the Chris Jericho storyline.. William Regal's commentary
#FuckYouStonehengeAndTheRestOfYourDipshitCrew: Zack Ryder's beatdown getting upwards of 30 minutes of television time, from the pre-match to the post-match.. Eve's acting.. Sheamus still not having anything better to do than face Jinder Mahal on every television show.. Jerry Lawler overselling the injury to Zack Ryder to a ridiculous level
Grade: C-. Not a terrible episode, I guess. Better than the usual "go home" shows, at least.
"My son is dying, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, who the hell does?!?"
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2.44 Day 24 "I'm readin.."
In my four years of writing columns here on LoP's main page, I've reviewed a lot of things. I've reviewed television shows. I've reviewed pay-per-views. I've reviewed DVDs. I've reviewed website events.
However, one thing I haven't reviewed is a book.
Until now.
Fellow LoP writer Al Laiman was kind enough to send me one of his books to review, and after spending the last few days reading it, it's finally time to get that review going, following some strange delays.
Ladies.. gentlemen.. churren.. babies..
"Taking Bumps: How I Made 49 Bucks In Pro Wrestling" by Alexander Goodlive
For those of you unaware, Al brings a different point-of-view to a lot of his columns, because he's actually wrestled on the indy scene. He isn't just a fan. He isn't just someone that has watched wrestling on television. That allows him to see things in a different light than I would, than Super Chrisss would, than Romeo would, than The Crow would, etc. It's the main reason I wanted him to participate in the failed LoP Magazine experiment, and it's also the main reason why I wanted him here on the main page with me. Here on the main page, if you have ten columnists posting things about wrestling, it would be nice to have ten different outlooks on things. We don't always have that, of course, but we can at least be guaranteed something different with Al and his work.
As you can tell by the title of his book, though, it's about his time in the wrestling business, not about his thoughts on John Cena's WWE Title reigns, or what TNA needs to improve their standing.
A lot of people that are reading my words right now don't know much of anything about independent wrestling. They either assume the indy scene is like what Ring Of Honor is, or they assume the stereotype of wrestling in front of ten people is true. What Al is able to do.. better than most writers LoP has seen.. is paint pictures for his readers. In this book, he paints nice pictures of the independent wrestling scene. The highs. The lows. The beautiful side. The ugly side. It's like you're right there in the crowd, even if it happens to be at a bar in West Virginia. Whether it's giving you a rundown of what happened in a particular match, or discussing a travel horror story about his trip to the venue, he lets you in on his journey.
He pulls no punches, which I like. He's completely honest about his own abilities. This isn't one of those stories where the author spends 200 pages bitching about what he could have done if not for politics or things out of his control, thank goodness. I think we've all had it up to here (just imagine that I'm holding my hand up to my forehead) with those "I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDA" ramblings. His honest, bordering on self-deprecating, look at things is refreshing, and it's something I really wish we could see more of with wrestlers. Thank you, Al, for not once writing that you would have been wrestling on Raw or Smackdown one day if not for the douchebaggery of so-and-so or such-and-such.
Something else that stands out about the book is how open Al is. By that, I mean it's probably the right amount. I've always been someone that wears his heart on his sleeve. You'll always know the mood I'm in. You'll always know what's bothering me. It comes in handy a lot, but it can also be one of my biggest downfalls. Al is the kind of writer that will let you in on his life just enough, but he won't completely open the door and let everyone see everything. It leaves some mystery hanging in the air. Not that he does it so that you'll find out more in another book as a money grab, but it's cool to have that mystique and that aura, if you will. It's something I appreciate, not only as a writer, but as a man.
Now, I'm not here to ruin any of the chapters or to give away any of what takes place from cover-to-cover. That's not what this review is. I actually want you to get his book and read it for yourself. I am here to tell you that I fully endorse Al and his book. It's an easy read, and no, I don't mean that in a derogatory way. He isn't pretentious in his writing style, and he presents you with 208 pages that will breeze by if you allow it to.
If you'd like to grab a copy of his book for yourself, head over to the following link..
Thank you, Al, for giving me the opportunity to read your book. It was my honor. I'm only sorry that I couldn't go into more detail here, but like I said, I wanted to make sure that what you wrote in the book wasn't really spoiled or ruined here, you know? Thanks again, my dude.
"I'm sorry, Uncle Phil. I know he was your boy and all. It's kinda like how I felt when I found out that Kermit The Frog was nothing but a piece of green felt with someone's hand up his butt."
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4. Day 25 "Can't picture it without you.."
Writer's Note: I just want to warn everyone, right here and now, that today's column is going to be on the dark and macabre side. It's nothing too bad, but it's a "What if.." scenario that involves someone who is currently alive not being alive anymore. It isn't even really worth the warning, but I just wanted everyone to be prepared, I guess. Whatever. Let's go.
"What if.. Vince McMahon were to die? What would happen to World Wrestling Entertainment, not just in regards to wrestling, but for the company as a whole?"
It's almost crazy to think about wrestling without Vince McMahon. Don't get me wrong.. he's getting up there in years. He's going to be 67 this year, so it's not like we're discussing a 20-something passing away. It's never a huge surprise when someone pushing 70 passes away. However, Vince has been involved in the business for so long, and has become such a visible and recognizable part of our lives, that it's just strange to think of a WWE product without him involved in any way, shape or form.
The first thing to think about is just who would take over Vince's actual, off-camera role. That one's easy. The same people who are already starting to take over, even with Vince alive.. Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. The only way that changes, in my opinion, is if Shane McMahon returns to the company in some way, shape, or form before Vince passes, but even then, I stick to what I've said on multiple occasions in the last few years.. Stephanie is more like Vince, as a human being, and would be a better "fit" to run the company than Shane, who, by all accounts, is generally more of a nice guy and isn't as ruthless or as aggressive as his father and sister are.
Don't get me wrong, though.. there would be a lot of changes in TitanLand. From top to bottom. I have no doubt in my mind that there's a fair amount of people collecting regular paychecks from WWE based on nothing but the fact that they're loyal to Vince McMahon. They don't contribute much of anything, but Vince is so stuck in the past that he continues to have them around. If he passes, those people can start looking for new jobs. Not that Stephanie or Trips don't care about loyalty. I'm sure they do. I just think, with them being younger and more in touch with today and not just the 80s, that they'd want to have "their" people around. Again, that's top to bottom. That could mean new executives. It could mean new janitors at WWE Headquarters. Just a "team" of new hirings and fresh faces, that's all.
What about the on-screen product, though?
That's the part that concerns most of us, anyway.
The WWE product would improve tremendously after Vince McMahon passes away.
I say that without a hint of callousness. I'm a fan of Vince McMahon. As an on-screen performer, he's almost always, without fail, entertaining. As a man, he often gets viewed as some sort of Anti-Christ, while people ignore the good things he and his company do. However, I don't think it's exactly unfair to continue saying that Vince is stuck in the past and is either unable to or refuses to join us in the current day and age. The WWE often finds itself falling victim to some really archaic thinking, and Vince being responsible for the company is behind that. If he passes away, maybe the company can move forward a bit. Hell, maybe they can even capitalize on pop culture at the right time, for once, instead of being way too late like they are almost all the time. Again, I'm not saying that Vince's passing will mean WWE moves to the cutting edge with the most amazing product we've ever seen. Just that they'll move from being stuck in the 80s to possibly being stuck in the 90s or early 2000s. Not perfect, but a considerable improvement nonetheless.
Since word broke last year that Steph and (especially) Trips were starting to have more backstage power and control over things, WWE has seen quite a shift in focus. They pay more attention to the internet and what the internet fans have to say. More people are being pushed that would not have been pushed in previous "eras", based on their size and stature. There's more of a shift towards a "reality" based product. If Vince passed away, that would continue, I would assume. That's not to say "big man" workers would be phased out and we wouldn't see anyone taller than 6'3" wrestling for the company. It's just that guys like a Big Show or a KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE will be looked at, more and more, as "special attractions". I'm fine with that, and based on discussions I've had, a lot of you are fine with it, as well.
Let's see what we have so far..
- Moving closer to being "current" and "hip"
- Continuing the push for "normal" sized workers, and leaning on what's popular with the internet
- Either no "Yes Men" or a different set of "Yes Men"
That might not seem like a lot, but if you really stop and think about it, that would potentially make for a very different televised product. Getting rid of the "Yes Men" is something to really focus on. It would open the door for the "boss" to be more accessible and approachable, whether it be because things are going poorly, or because Wrestler A has an idea for his own character/storyline. For too long, people have been almost afraid of Vince McMahon, with nobody being able to stand up to him or come to him when they have a problem. I'm sure Stephanie McMahon is an intimidating presence in her own right, and I'm sure Triple H can also stake claim to being intimidating, but at the same time, Trips is still "one of the boys", to an extent, and all reports seem to indicate that becoming a mother has "softened" Steph a bit, making her more "nurturing" when it comes to these types of relationships. Both would be easier to talk to than bi-polar Vince, whether you're a main event talent like Randy Orton or John Cena, or a lower-card talent like a Ted DiBiase or Curt Hawkins, and everyone in between. When the people at the very top are easily accessible, that will see a trickle-down effect, with the workers also seeing people like the writers and producers as being more accessible, and then the entire working environment improves. Nobody is worried about a "moody" boss that could be in seven different moods over seven different days.
I apologize for jumping all over the map here, but something else that I think would change would be the announcing for the television product. Some of you will look at this as a positive, and some as a negative, but I think Jim Ross would be brought back on a regular, more permanent basis. Well, he'd at least be offered a full-time spot. Triple H, like just about every wrestler that has worked in the last 20 years, continues to view JR as the be-all end-all when it comes to wrestling announcers. Michael Cole, on the other hand, is nothing more than a pet product and a personal favorite of Vince McMahon. I'd fully expect the Raw announce team to go back to being Ross and Jerry Lawler, while Smackdown's would remain the same, with Cole teaming up with Booker T and Josh Matthews. It's not necessarily a demotion for Cole. It's just a way to get Ross back into the mix, without having him play the background to the traveling sideshow that has been Michael Cole yelling, screaming, and burying damn near everyone on the roster. Like I said, some of you would be thrilled to have Jim Ross back, while some of you would hate it. That's not what this column is about, though. It's about the changes I think we'd see, whether I like it or not, and whether you would like it or not. Tying this in to a previous point about "Yes Men", having Vince McMahon gone might mean that longtime company staple, Kevin Dunn, would have a different and/or reduced role. Dunn and McMahon often conspire together to embarrass Ross with every possible chance they get. With new people in charge.. people that are huge fans of Jim Ross.. at least that can stop, and Ross can be an announcer and just do his job, instead of having to be a punching bag and a whipping boy whenever McMahon and/or Dunn are having a bad day.
Another update..
- Moving closer to being "current" and "hip"
- Continuing the push for "normal" sized workers, and leaning on what's popular with the internet
- Either no "Yes Men" or a different set of "Yes Men"
- Improved backstage morale, across the company
- More accessible bosses
- A new announcing situation, including the return of Jim Ross
Having someone like Triple H, who "understands" the current wrestling scene and what the fans like/love/hate/dislike more because he's actually a part of it, in charge means that the company can focus on the things that are important. With Vince McMahon at the helm, he just wants to branch out to as many avenues as he can possibly slap the "WWE" name on. I get where he's coming from. He wants as many eyeballs as possible to be looking at his "brand", but at the same time, he opens WWE up to business failure after business failure, and it's not really worth it. Vince doesn't understand today's wrestling fan like Triple H does and like I assume Stephanie does. I just can't see the "WWE" brand opening itself up to as many lanes with Trips and/or Stephanie in charge. Instead of slapping "WWE" on every possible thing, I can see them just trying to go after things that today's wrestling fan would care about. It's part of the "become more hip and current" thing I mentioned earlier.
With all of these changes, that pretty much covers everything. The in-ring product, the announcing, the business ventures, the backstage morale, the corporate ladder, etc. All in all, WWE would be a vastly different company, but most of the changes would be things that the average fan can't see, unless you're a believer that improved morale will lead to improved in-ring product, with happier workers being more excited in the ring. In that case, everything improves, and we all win. I'm not even saying that WWE would become super-duper-fantastic if Vince were to pass away. Just that the door would be wide open for them to become super-duper-fantastic if Vince were to pass away, as bad as that sounds.
As a fan of Vince McMahon, I hope this is something that we don't have to deal with for a long, long time. I'd rather he just step aside and allow these types of changes to be made, instead of a situation where the changes have to be made because he has passed away. I want to see Vince live to be 219, at the very least. I'm just saying.
What do you guys think? If Vince McMahon were to pass away at some point relatively soon, what do you think would happen with World Wrestling Entertainment? Would we see improvements for the better, or would the changes bring the company down? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.
"Americans still believe in an America where anything's possible. They just don't think their leaders do."
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5. Day 26 "Another mess.."
9:00pm: I told you that I wouldn't be doing this every week, but I had nothing else to write about today, so it's time for an Impact Running Diary again. Thank you, DVR.
9:02pm: We're starting things off backstage, where Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray are already in the middle of a brawl. They'll be competing in a Tag Team Tables Match later in the show, but I guess they couldn't wait. It's crazy to see these two still fighting each other, even after all these years.
9:03pm: Bully Ray is a very loud brawler. He's like the new age Lex Luger, yelling out whenever he gets hit, whether it's a punch or with a foreign object of some sort.
9:04pm: They're still fighting. Where the hell is security or TNA officials?
9:04pm: They brawl out into the parking area, where Bobby Roode arrives in a Chevy pick-up. Swag him the fuck out. They get the numbers advantage over Hardy, and they're beating him down. Still no security or TNA officials.
9:05pm: As Roode and Bully toss Hardy into the bed of Roode's truck, James Storm shows up, and the brawl continues, but the numbers are too much for him, as well.
9:06pm: Sting finally shows up, with baseball bat in hand, and chases the heels off. Quite the brawl there. Pretty dangerous working environment there in TNA, though. You'd think the wrestlers would vote "no confidence" and walk out on Sting or something.
9:07pm: We go from a brawl to start the show to a Knockouts match. I'll give TNA this.. that's quite different, and it's something you wouldn't see WWE do.. starting a show with a Divas match, that is.
9:09pm: So.. it's Velvet Sky VS Tara VS Mickie James in a Triple Threat, with the winner going to Against All Odds to face Gail Kim for her Knockouts Title.
9:11pm: Lawdamercy.. there must be a total of five people in the crowd making any sort of noise for this action, and they're just randomly going back-and-forth, cheering for the Knockout on offense at the time. It doesn't help that Velvet, Tara, and Mickie are wrestling in slow motion.
9:13pm: Tara goes for a Standing Moonsault, but she botches it twice.. first by nearly jumping on Mickie's hand, and then by nearly snapping her own neck on the landing. Jesus Christ.
9:15pm: Tara wins. Now there's probably nine people politely applauding. Bad match. Bad way to start the show.
9:16pm: "We know each other, inside and out." - Gail Kim, about Tara. #ThatsGayButItsNotSoBadAtAllSoTheresNoNeedToStopIt
9:17pm: Hey, let's take a look back to the brawl between Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray, Bobby Roode, James Storm, and Sting. You know, the one that happened wayyyyy back at the beginning of the show, 25 minutes (in real time) ago. I hate when wrestling companies do that. With it being this early in the show, I'm almost expecting to see highlights of the brawl again before this episode is over.
9:19pm: Hey, speaking of those guys.. Sting, Hardy, and Storm make their way to the ring. As soon as they get there, Sting demands that Ray and Roode join them in the ring, as well, and here come the heels.. leading to another brawl.
9:20pm: Sting breaks it up again, but that lasts a good ten seconds, tops, and they're brawling again. Only TNA, folks. Only TNA.
9:22pm: Sting breaks it up again, but that lasts a good ten seconds, tops, and they're brawling again. Only TNA, folks. Only TNA. Wait.. did I say that already?
9:23pm: Sting says they're going to have a match later, but then it's requested that the match should be a Tables Match, and Sting agrees and makes it so. Whatever works.
9:25pm: lol @ Angelina Love flirtatiously touching Eric Young's beard, only to stop because she had to wipe something off of her finger. Fantastic.
9:25pm: Angelina goes to knee Young in the crotch, but hurts herself. Young reveals that he was wearing a cup, and then ODB shows up and asks him why he took her cup. Somewhere, SkittleZ is jerking off to the idea of that.
9:26pm: Zema Ion, looking more and more like Orlando Jordan's boyfriend with each passing week, is out for our next match, and he'll be taking on the returning Alex Shelley, wrestling his first match on Impact since September.
9:28pm: Absolutely amazing Lucha-style reversal roll-through and pin attempt by Shelley there. Wow. I can't even describe it, but it was worth checking out, all by itself.
9:31pm: The crowd isn't very excited for this, either, other than random moments when Shelley is on offense. What happened to the Impact Zone crowd being obnoxious, and cheering for absolutely any and everything?
9:32pm: Shelley wins. Nice little match there, even though it was pretty brief.
9:36pm: Footage from earlier in the week. Hooray. Eric Bischoff shows up at the gym that his son is training at, in an attempt to find out who Garett's trainer is. Right as we're about to find out, Eric sees the trainer, off-camera, and pushes the cameraman away, telling him to leave. Well, that was pointless.
9:38pm: Our next match is a mixed tag, with Eric Young & ODB facing Angelina Love & Winter. Two matches involving Knockouts during the first hour of the show. That's.. different.
9:40pm: Young locks up with referee Earl Hebner, and then leads the crowd in a count to 21. I'm not kidding. As weird as it is, the crowd is eating it up. They love the guy.
9:41pm: The match still hasn't started. It's been one comedy moment after another from EY, but again, the crowd is still into it.
9:42pm: ODB tags herself in, and now the match officially gets underway.
9:44pm: The crowd reaction continues to be strange. It goes from deathly silent to two people trying a clap-chant, followed by 20 people joining in, and then going back to silent again, until four people try to start a regular chant. This crowd is awful.
9:46pm: ODB gets the pin on Angelina, and then kisses EY after the match. I really don't even know what to say at this point.
9:48pm: Samoa Joe, accompanied by Magnus, is out for the next match. As his music is playing, we get a super slow panned shot of Christy Hemme, from her boots to her head, as she announces Joe. That was weird, especially with the ominous music playing in the background.
9:49pm: One-half of the Tag Team Champions, Matt Morgan, is out to be Joe's opponent. Accompanying Morgan is the other half of the Tag Team Champions, Crimson. Let's have a brawl! No? Alright then.
9:51pm: I suppose it's always like this, and I just never really paid attention to it, but damn, this ring is really mic'd up. Every time someone lands on the mat, it sounds like a plane crash landing.
9:54pm: Joe is on offense, and loud booing is heard. Meanwhile, the crowd is shown on camera, and nobody is making any noise. There's a handful of people clapping, though.
9:55pm: Morgan wins, and sure enough, it's time for a brawl now. Crimson gets sent into the ring steps by Magnus, allowing for Joe and Magnus to get a double-team attack on Morgan in the ring. I don't know why they left the ring so soon. They should have kept the beatdown going.
9:57pm: "We started Impact off with a bang. We're going to end it with a BOOOOM! Table-style." - Jeff Hardy. It's going to be an Exploding Tables Match now, apparently. I'm now watching FMW in Japan, I guess.
9:58pm: It's time for an AJ Styles promo, which is never a good thing.
10:00pm: AJ wants to know why Kazarian is being bossed around by Christopher Daniels these days, and that brings Daniels and Kazarian out. Thankfully, it's Daniels cutting the promo here, and not Kazarian.
10:01pm: lol @ Daniels calling the fans "dum-dums". Gazoo would be proud. As would CM Punk.
10:02pm: "I don't care what's going on between you and him, Frankie." - THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRING THEM OUT FOR THIS PROMO, AJ?!?
10:04pm: Daniels says that he wants to see AJ Styles VS Kazarian at Against All Odds, and the crowd reacts with complete silence. This was a dumb, dumb segment.
10:05pm: Hmm.. main event time already? There's approximately 20-25 minutes of real time remaining in the show. Let's see how much of it will be used for the actual match itself.
10:09pm: Not much, apparently. We got some slow entrances, and now, we're getting the "big time" match introduction by Jeremy Borash. At this rate, the match itself is going to be no longer than five minutes.
10:10pm: Hey, the match started. Alright. Hooray.
10:11pm: There are too many random hoes in the front row of Impact, dressed like they're at a nightclub or something. They just stand there, rarely cheering or booing. They hardly even participate in clapping or chanting. It's ridiculous. TNA picks the dumbest people to enter the Impact Zone and watch the show sometimes.
10:16pm: Bully Ray defies the laws of physics and gravity by spitting a loogie into the air and then opening his mouth to catch it.. but it never came back down. How strong is that guy?!?
10:17pm: This crowd is really distracting. It's like none of them have ever watched wrestling before, and they're just quietly watching this, trying to figure out what's going on. Even Jeff Hardy can't get a sustained, regular reaction from the crowd.
10:18pm: We get a spot where Bully ends up putting his own foot through a table, where it then has to be explained that the object of the match is to put your opponent through a table, so the match isn't over.
10:20pm: There's literally a guy in the front row that has his elbow on the railing, and is resting his head on his hand, looking like he is bored out of his mind. Not a good look for TNA to have him in the front row during the main event.
10:21pm: With Roode atop a table, Storm comes flying off the top and crashes Roode through it, picking up the win for the faces. However, immediately after the match, Bully Ray gets in there and starts wearing the faces out with a chair. It leads to Bully sending Hardy through a table with a Powerbomb from the middle rope. The heels stand tall to end the show.
#ThankYouScarlettJohanssonForNoRealReasonAtall: The intensity in the brawls between Jeff Hardy, James Storm, Bully Ray, Bobby Roode & Sting.. Alex Shelley VS Zema Ion was fun while it lasted.. Eric Young, for everything he was involved with.. Matt Morgan VS Samoa Joe was fun while it lasted.. Jeff Hardy & James Storm VS Bully Ray & Bobby Roode (although it just barely makes it here, as the match dragged on as it went along)
#FuckYouImpactZoneCrowd: Velvet Sky VS Tara VS Mickie James.. The entire segment between AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels & Kazarian.. A pathetic crowd, all night long
Grade: D. Yes, there was more "good" than "bad", but the "good" barely made the list, while the "bad" was really bad.
"Flavor Flav is so skinny and black, he looks like a Make-A-Wish kid whose last request was to try on a wetsuit."
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6. Day 27 "An unfortunate mess.."
10:00pm: The final episode of Smackdown before the Royal Rumble. We continue on with the Road To WrestleMania, and let's see what the "Blue Brand" comes up with here. Thank you, DVR.
10:02pm: After watching a video package of Big Show destroying AJ from a couple weeks back, we're kicking things off tonight with a Big Show promo. Show doesn't really look like his normal, happy self.
10:03pm: Show says he has already apologized to AJ, and that she forgave him immediately. He wants the WWE Universe to forgive him, but says that he hasn't exactly been able to forgive himself yet.
10:05pm: Choking back tears, Show says he doesn't have the heart to continue his career, and that draws loud boos from the crowd. He says he's honored to be in the World Title match at the Rumble, but that he needs to do some "soul searching" after the event, but before he can say anything else, Daniel Bryan comes out. Bryan looks pissed.
10:07pm: According to Bryan, AJ was heavily medicated during Show's hospital visit, and that she has no memory of him coming to see her now.
10:09pm: Drawing some more major heat, Bryan says show shouldn't be out here apologizing. He says Show should just retire on the spot, and to draw even more heat, Bryan is poking his finger into Show's chest like he is the seven-footer. He then slaps Show a couple times before Show finally snaps, telling Bryan that what happened to AJ was an accident, but that what happens to him (Bryan) won't be.
10:10pm: We're now joined by Mark Henry, making this a clusterfuck, albeit an understandable one.
10:11pm: lol @ Mizark referring to AJ as a "95-pound girl in a training bra".
10:12pm: Wait.. WHAT?!? Did Henry just tell Bryan to sit on his face?!?
10:12pm: As Henry is yelling at Bryan, Teddy Long joins the party, really making this a clusterfuck.
10:13pm: Instead of just making the match quickly, Peanuthead spends 29 sentences saying that we're going to get Big Show VS Mark Henry tonight. That draws a sly smile from Bryan.
10:15pm: It's time for our first match of the night, and Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring. He's going to be facing Justin Gabriel again. It's a non-title match, so we'll see if Gabriel is booked well here.
10:18pm: Gabriel goes for a springboard move off the top rope, and came really close to botching it and falling right on his face. Almost a disaster there.
10:18pm: ..and Cody wins. The match was about half as long as their match last week. There goes Gabriel being booked well. Cody's going to be the Intercontinental Champion for the rest of time, isn't he?
10:19pm: Santino and "Toshi Yatsu" are backstage with Teddy Long, and they have an argument about their team name being either "Santoshi" or "Yoshitino". This is really happening.
10:20pm: Teddy books Drew McIntyre in yet another match, which would be his 29th strike, if my math is correct. That's one amazing at-bat for Drew Mac. Drew's opponent for tonight.. Teddy's new "go-to" face to book in random matches against a heel he doesn't like, now that The Undertaker isn't around.. Sheamus. Uh-oh.
10:22pm: The jobber entrance for McIntyre. *sigh*
10:22pm: It's a shameful thing, Lobster Head! Too many limes! Too many limes! I have a feeling that this match is going to be over before I even get around to finishing this particular rant! I don't know why Sheamus is getting used like this! He hasn't had an actual feud in months! He just faces random heel after random heel, winning a whole bunch of matches that don't last beyond five minutes! Sheamus has only brought one potato to this shindig, and you want to bring several years worth of limes, Martha?!? What the hell are we supposed to do with all of those limes and only one potato?!? I don't have time to deal with this! I'm a Regional Manager! I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!
10:25pm: Hey.. the match is still going on. Congratulations, Drew.
10:26pm: Well, there goes that. Sheamus wins. Teddy tells McIntyre that he gets three strikes before being fired, and this was approximately the 117th consecutive match Drew has lost. I don't think Smackdown's General Manager is very educated. He can't even count to three.
10:28pm: Epico & Primo VS Santino & Yoshi Tatsu is coming up next. Non-title again. Yet another randomly thrown together tag team. I really don't understand this company sometimes.
10:29pm: Another promo in awful Spanish from Rosa Mendes. Eww. Make it stop.
10:31pm: Epico & Primo win. The tag division is an even bigger joke now. I really don't understand this company sometimes.
10:34pm: It's time for tonight's first "main event", as Wade Bar-ruh takes on a returning Randy Orton for the first time in years. Or a month. Either one works.
10:36pm: Before we get the match, we have to sit through their entire brawl, complete with the beyond-words-stupid cameraman trying to film things through a small window in the fire exit door.
10:38pm: Orton's music hits, and the crowd's reaction is loud.. only to cut to the aisle, where nobody is reacting at all. Weird.
10:39pm: The fight is on!
10:40pm: Apparently we're not getting a match, because the referees are trying to break the fight up, and now Teddy Long has sent the 2012 Job Squad out there to break things up. Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Trent Barreta, and The Usos are holding Orton back as Bar-ruh makes an escape.
10:41pm: One-by-one, these fucking idiot jobbers stand there and take an RKO. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I can't even call him Super Orton here, because it wouldn't have taken much of a man to lay out idiots like that one at a time.
10:44pm: It's time for another match. Hunico, Camacho, & DA BYSICKLE~! make their way to the ring. Another poor attempt at adding canned heat to the show, as it sounds like Hunico is getting major heel heat, but nobody is visibly responding in any way. You'd think wrestling companies would understand that by now. It's 2012, for fuck's sake. This isn't the stone age. Technology isn't brand new.
10:45pm: Hunico VS Ted DiBiase for the 38th straight week. Joy.
10:47pm: lol @ Booker referring to Hunico as "Hoon". I guess that would open the door for #HoonBuffoonery.
10:47pm: Hunico wins, after going for DiBiase's injured hand.
10:47pm: Hunico and Camacho attack DiBiase after the match, while DA BYSICKLE~! ominously stands to the side and watches everything go down.
10:49pm: During a horrendously acted backstage segment between Teddy Long, Aksana, and Natalya, a fart noise is randomly heard, followed by Natalya looking worried and running out of the room. We then get Santino walking into the room and beginning to gag, complaining that "it's in my mouth". It's only January, but that wins the award for Dumbest Segment Of The Year. I guarantee it. Just release Natalya already, WWE. There's no fucking point to any of this shit.
10:51pm: The funk is on a roll!
10:53pm: Even Brodus' opponent here, Alex Riley, can't help but dance during this intro.
10:55pm: ..aaaaand it's over. Brodus wins. I love this shit. I'll say this, though.. it needs to advance beyond one-minute squash matches against random jobbers, and it needs to advance soon. They're going to run the risk of losing a lot of the fans.
10:56pm: Who in the red fuck thought it would be a good idea to replay the entire Zack Ryder VS KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE match and post-match shenaniganery from Raw?!? From the match itself all the way to the "poopy pants" face that Cena made to end the segment.. they just showed the entire fucking thing. Again. That's ridiculous. I had to fast forward through it.
10:58pm: Hey, speaking of ridiculous.. it's time for Aksana VS Natalya. Yes. Aksana. The ho that was just talking about jerking Teddy Long off not more than 15 minutes (of real time) ago.
10:59pm: Aksana wins. In five seconds. With a roll-up. I'm fast forwarding through this, too. This shit is pissing me off.
11:00pm: Main event time. Big Show VS Mark Henry.
11:01pm: Before the match can begin, Daniel Bryan comes out, with his over-excited "YES! YES!" celebration as he points to the World Title around his waist.
11:02pm: ..and there's the injury to Mark Henry. We got word today that he hyper-extended his knee during the match, and after seeing it, he's lucky that's all that happened. He went to throw a punch, and he planted his leg wrong, and he just dropped. If you didn't already know, you'd think he either tore a quad or blew his knee out.
11:03pm: We come back from commercial with Big Show winning the match by Countout, and Daniel Bryan goes after him with a steel chair.
11:04pm: Fuck all the rest of this. I'm more concerned with Mark Henry's well-being. I'll say it again.. he needs some rest. He's worked his ass off over the last several months, and he deserves a big payday at WrestleMania. He's proven to WWE management that he's a team player, as he continues to fight through injury after injury. However, all of those little injuries continue adding up, and if he isn't careful, those little injuries will undoubtedly turn into a major injury. I mean, damn.. he has a Cage Match coming up, and then, chances are, an Elimination Chamber coming up next month. If the company were smart, they'd make him take some time off to fully recover. Write him out of the Cage Match, if need be. Have Daniel Bryan go after him with a chair backstage or something, making it a one-on-one match. Give Henry the time he needs to recover, and then he can return after Elimination Chamber to start focusing on his match at WrestleMania. Do the right thing, WWE.
#ThankYouHawaiiWinterWeather: Big Show's acting ability, which has really improved, allowing him to show range so that he isn't just going back-and-forth between "Angry Giant" and "Goofy Giant".. Yoshi Tatsu, Alex Riley, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins & Trent Barreta appearing on the show
#FuckYouEveryoneElsesWinterWeather: More piss-poor booking of the midcard.. Cody Rhodes having absolutely nothing to do, continuing a running theme that has been going on for what seems like months.. The dumb "lose or you're fired" storyline with Drew McIntyre, even though he keeps losing and still has a job.. The Divas Division is an absolute joke, especially the way Natalya is used.. Mark Henry getting injured again.. Yoshi Tatsu, Alex Riley, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins & Trent Barreta appearing on the show
Grade: D, and that might be generous.
"Most comics dream of performing in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bob Saget dreams of performing in Hannah Montana."
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7. Day 28 "The fight of all fights.."
I was originally going to have another edition of the Power 25 here, but with the Royal Rumble coming up, and with things moving pretty slowly in TitanLand because of it, I'm just going to hold off and bring the rankings back next week, once the pay-per-view is in the books and things get back to "normal".
I don't have a lot of time tonight, so if I'm going to do a shorter column, it might as well be about something that's going to get the least amount of feedback, anyway. You know what that means..
UFC talk.
UFC's second prime time special on Fox aired today, and just like I did after the first special aired, I'm going to write about what's going on. It wasn't the best night of fights we've ever seen, but at the same time, it wasn't the worst night, either.
Demian Maia VS Chris Weidman was a mess. Weidman took the fight on very short notice after Mark Munoz suffered an injury in training. Originally, Maia was set to fight Michael Bisping here, but the company decided to make Bisping the replacement for Munoz against Chael Sonnen. In the 11 days that Weidman had to train for the fight, he had to cut 30+ pounds, so there were questions about what he'd have left in the tank for this fight, especially against the man who is arguably the greatest Jiu-Jitsu fighter MMA has seen that doesn't have Gracie as a last name. What we got was an ugly fight, and while Weidman ran out of gas, as expected, it was Maia that looked even worse. Maia looked like the one who had to cut 30+ pounds in a week-and-a-half, and he put on a performance that, quite frankly, he should be ashamed of. Weidman took the fight via Unanimous Decision, and I have no problem with that at all.
The Sonnen VS Bisping fight was up next, and it has seen a bit of a mixed reaction from fans and viewers. The more "casual" viewers seemed to think it was another "boring" fight. It wasn't a slugfest like, say, Forrest Griffin VS Stephan Bonnar #1 was, that's for sure, but both men kept working in this fight, and there was plenty of action. It just wasn't as quick and action-packed as some would have preferred, apparently. I had Sonnen winning both the second and third rounds, giving him the fight, but I guess that wasn't a popular opinion. Sonnen won the fight (although the judge that gave him all three rounds should be fired.. from a cannon.. into a brick wall), but when the fight result was announced, I saw a lot of people on Twitter disagreeing with it, saying they felt Bisping should have won. As it is, though, Sonnen wins and moves on to the biggest fight of his career, but more on that in a bit.
The main event was Rashad Evans VS Phil Davis, and this was a fight I was really looking forward to. Evans has been one of the most "must-see" fighters in all of MMA during his career, and Davis was coming into the fight as the young, undefeated physical specimen that looked like a Create-A-Wrestler, as LoPR's very own GLOW put it. It ended up being about as one-sided a fight as I've seen in a while, with Evans picking Davis apart for five full rounds. No matter what Davis tried, it was unsuccessful, but at the same time, people are disappointed in Evans because he couldn't end the fight. He sure as hell had opportunity after opportunity, but it says a lot about the toughness of Phil Davis that he was able to last the entire fight. I think he'll be able to bounce back in the future, now that he has had his first loss and he knows what he needs to work on. Evans now moves on to a huge fight, as well, but more on that in a bit. I want to get back to Chael Sonnen first.
Sonnen gets what he has wanted for the last year-and-a-half.. a rematch with UFC Middleweight Champion, and the #FadeGod himself, Anderson Silva. Their first fight saw Sonnen absolutely dominate for four-plus rounds.. until he was caught in a submission and tapped out. After the fight, Sonnen failed a drug test and was suspended. Let me break this down for you real quick..
- The average man's testosterone/epitestosterone ratio is 1:1
- Sonnen's testosterone/epitestosterone ratio for the Silva fight was 16.9:1
There's something funny about being "17 times the normal human male" and still losing to Anderson Silva. I'm a fan of Chael Sonnen. Don't get me wrong. However, Anderson Silva is the #FadeGod for a reason, folks. On top of that, Silva will have the "home field advantage", as their rematch is rumored to be taking place in Silva's home country of Brazil. Again, I'm a fan of Sonnen, but if he can step into the Octagon in Brazil and actually defeat Silva to become the new Middleweight Champion, the loud thud you'd all hear is my jaw hitting the floor. I mean it. I'm expecting it to be a fantastic atmosphere, though, with the Brazilians cheering for their hero, and with Sonnen trying to pull off the greatest performance of his life.
Going from a "sure thing with no set date" to a "sure thing with a set date", we now have Rashad Evans going up against UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon "Bones" Jones in the main event of UFC 145 on April 21st. This is a fight we've been waiting to see for a while now, but injuries have prevented it. Hell, injuries have prevented this fight from happening twice. As a matter of fact, injuries are why this fight is happening in the first place. Evans and Jones were once friends and teammates, but after an injury forced Evans to back out of a title shot against Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, he was replaced by Jones, who went on to win the title, and the friendship between Evans and Jones has fallen apart ever since. We were supposed to get this fight last summer, but Jones had to back out due to an injury. We were supposed to get this fight in December, but then Evans had to back out due to an injury. Now, here we are, and everyone's hoping that the third time is, indeed, the charm.
I've done two or three columns about Jon Jones already, so I don't need to turn this into another one, but I'll say this again.. I don't think there's a man in the Light Heavyweight division, past or present, that can beat him, and Evans is included in that group. Instead, I'm looking at both fights.. Anderson Silva VS Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones VS Rashad Evans.. as something of a "semi-final", of sorts. If both champions retain their titles, we could/should be looking at the one fight that every MMA fan wants to see..
Anderson Silva VS Jon Jones
It's not hyperbole in the slightest to say it would be the biggest fight in UFC history, and would be promoted as such. Silva is the greatest fighter in the history of the business, while Jones is the greatest young talent the business has ever seen. Wrestling fans, think of The Rock VS Hulk Hogan from WrestleMania 18. Now imagine that Hogan was in his prime during the match. Now imagine that it was a real fight. Now multiply that by 20. Now double it. Now double it. Then you'd start approaching the level of a Silva VS Jones megafight.
Jones fights in April, and the Silva fight could very well be taking place over the summer, which works out perfectly, because it leaves the end of the year open, which is when the company likes to put its biggest fights together. Silva VS Jones to close out 2012 sounds like a fantastic idea to me. We need the fight to happen, since we're all going to be dead before 2013 rolls around, anyway.
I'm just saying.
"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it. If you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
