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Posted in: The Green Room
By Ryan Plant (73AF)
Jun 30, 2017 - 2:40:57 AM

Season 3, Episode 24
Macho Madness

^ This image may not be displaying due to bandwidth problems. I'm aware of the issue, I am just trying to find a free image host that will be able to deal with the amount of bandwidth that your views give me! Thank you by the way!

Speaking of which, hello ladies and gentlemen! Ryan “Leaf” Plant here, bringing you another dose of the column you know and (hopefully) love: Sound of the Underground. There wasn't a lot of love in the comments section last week even though the views were apparently high so this week I have made an effort to try to reduce the amount of text, aside from our main event! I hope you like the changes and enjoy the read. Thanks again for your support!

Mil Muertes has his eyes shut to his surroundings, only for them to glare open with the reddest of rages as Catrina orders him to rise.

“It is time once again for Mil Muertes to do battle!.. Tonight...”

She instructs her death-channelled beast to destroy everyone on route to rising back to the top.

“I will destroy them! For you!.. My love.”

He holds his hand out for Catrina to embrace before she kisses The Man of a Thousand Deaths softly, only for her eyes to once again resume their darting glare.

“Bring me the Cueto Cup!..”

The two of them leave the candle-lit area but in the darkest edge of the room unmasks one Jeremiah Crane, who grimaces and tries to get a hold of himself, knowing someone else has a hold of his love's heart.

Is Mil Muertes being portrayed in a sympathetic light?! I think that's the first time he has admitted that his intentions are for Catrina only, who we know full well is using him, given the fact that she told Crane that Muertes is not the man she loves! Speaking of Crane, this only gets more interesting, especially considering he has a match tonight. How will he focus?!


Sergio Arau and Los Heavy Mex get the Temple rocking as Vampiro admits there's no place he'd rather be. Matt Striker agrees, and why wouldn't he? We have four more Cueto Cup matches tonight! Without any further ado, Melissa Santos is here to introduce the next match!

The first combatant is a man who we have only seen once – at least under this guise! It's Veneno! I don't know what has happened to the tarantula story at this point as it has been strangely absent since the show returned from its break. It'll be interesting to see if Sexy Star attacks the black masked luchador once more.

Speaking of black masked luchadors, here's the man who Matt Striker describes as the “original dark lord of the Temple”. This won't be good for Veneno. Mil Muertes snarls as he enters the ring and gains his power from the seal of the ring. I said it a moment ago but I would like to repeat it: this certainly won't be pretty!


Cueto Cup – First Round Match
Veneno vs. Mil Muertes

Veneno is absolutely pummeled by Mil Muertes' spear as The Man of a Thousand Deaths hammers away at him now with several strikes. A HUGE Powerbomb leads to another array of blows before he tosses Veneno to the mat; the impact springs him to his feet only to be clotheslined back down with authority! A Chokeslam would have signalled the end of the match anyway but a Flat Liner is delivered for good measure! 1...2...3. That's that then!

WINNER: Mil Muertes

The customary lick of death washes the spidey out, and by out I mean right out of the tournament!

This was everything it should have been, and it's easily the most dominant performance of the tournament thus far. This is what many will have argued that Pentagon and Cage's first rounds should have been like. I argued that myself, but now I kind of like that those bouts were somewhat competitive as it has made Muertes look very special indeed here! As for Veneno, you have to wonder whether Dario is secretly aware of his identity – for him to still be put in such one-sided bouts! We'll see in the weeks to come!


We're wasting no time tonight as we're back with Melissa Santos looking as elegant as ever in the middle of the ring! Like every match over the past few weeks, this next bout is also a Cueto Cup first round match. What isn't routine though is the personality of the first competitor. From Down The Rabbit Hole comes Paul London, smiling as always with his white get-up – save for a black hat. He even has a carrot over his ear! The Believers are absolutely killing themselves here. You have to remember, they never got the vignettes! They must have been loving seeing this whilst wondering what on Earth his gimmick is about! As Striker admires the carrot, and there's a joke in there somewhere, Santos is ready to announce the next arrival.

Accompanied by Kobra Moon, from When Reptiles Rule The Earth, it's Vibora! As Matt noted, this is the first singles match for either singles competitor, and I love how it's a real battle between trademark locations to be hailed from. London looks absolutely stunned as the “Luchasaurus” makes his way onto the apron, but he darts anyway with a huge dropkick! Run rabbit run!

Cueto Cup – First Round Match
Paul London vs. Vibora

Another big slide looks to take Vibora off his feet on the outside, but to no avail! London aims some kicks, but all this does is anger the Reptile Tribe member who takes off his jacket and approaches him further. Paul runs to the ring, grabs the carrot and even looks to offer it to his opponent! When that doesn't work, he holds Kobra Moon hostage with the carrot! “I cannot believe I'm calling this”, and I can't believe I'm typing this either Matt. Vibora saves his Queen and chops the carrot right out of London's grasp.

A “Save The Carrot” chant doesn't save London from being clubbed in the back of the head in the ring. He is tossed to the mat rather effortlessly. He does however avoid a huge big boot and he delivers two huge superkicks of his own, which STILL doesn't take down Vibora. Instead, he gets choke-thrown off the top rope and is flipped right onto his back! Suddenly, the Rabbit Tribe run into and out of the ring, stunning Vibora for a moment! This allows London to choke the seven footer with a Tarantula type move before flipping him over the top rope! He jumps backwards but barely catches the big man. He knocks him down but it looks like his back took the biggest hit of all!

Both men are up to their feet but only Paul London makes it in there as Saltador and Mala Suerte stop Vibora from underneath the ring! They hold him back and Rick Knox cannot see! That's ten! Would you believe it?! The Rabbit has beaten the Snake!

WINNER: Paul London

The Rabbits celebrate in the ring as the first real upset of the Tournament has just taken place!

First things first, I have to say that I love the Rabbit Tribe's theme. I'll have to go on another theme hunt this season as I just love the scampering sounds of the music. It fits them perfectly!

Secondly, I have to praise Lucha Underground for a fun and logical way for such a huge wrestler to be defeated this early on. There's a lot of strong powerhouses already in the next round so I'm glad that they found a way to keep this fresh. Surely this must now be the catalyst for a feud between the Reptiles and the Rabbits, right? It's not like there's any other Trios options out there!


We cut back to the ring for another match! Three matches in a row with no segment in between? We must be getting something big before the main event then! Making her return to the ring is the Worldwide Underground's Taya, who receives a tecnico reaction from the Believers! That probably won't change here as she's in an intergender match with the sleaziest of all wrestlers.

You see, her opponent is none other than Lucha Underground's crooked cop! He's the ayatollah of oil, Joey Ryan! He's got the aviators, the lollipop, and the oil down his trunks which of course causes Taya to almost puke. Unlike the pace of the other match openings tonight, the bell rings and it starts with a slow saunter from Ryan towards his opponent!

Cueto Cup – First Round Match
Taya vs. Joey Ryan

Offering a pube-flavoured lollipop, Joey finds that Taya isn't interested in anything to do with that type of Underground as she kicks him repeatedly! A double knee strike stuns more than just the moustache. She then stops him retreating by grabbing him by the chest hair, which unluckily for him there's a lot of! However, Ryan plays possum when rolled into the ring, and stuns Taya with a superkick!

Joey clubs Taya and throws her into the apron. The cop gets distracted by either his ego or the Believers before taking to the top rope. Too much time taken here; this will not go well. Taya springs to her feet, slaps him silly, and throws him off the top rope. A double stomp gets 1...2.. Not yet!

In a move that hurts women and men alike for different reasons, Mundo's squeeze is crotched on the corner by a recovered Ryan. She tries to fight out of the Electric Chair Drop and actually manages to despite the previous pain! She slips out into her Northern Lights Suplex, Bridge and Double Stomp combo. You know this has to be it! That's one, that's two, and that's three! Nice!


The Worldwide Underground member looks happy with herself as she moves one step closer to a Lucha Underground Championship match!

This was okay! Just like I said last week, I find it hard to get into the intergender matches that feature a rudo female, only because you're gravitated to cheer them due to that part of you that feels like there shouldn't be any violence towards women. It's hard to suspend your morals! This isn't a problem when it's a tecnico luchadora!

That being said, Taya and Ryan put on a tidy match here and it allowed Joey Ryan's character to be in his element so that worked here. I think this was the right result as it frees up Ryan and the man behind Veneno to feud!


The same music now plays that was strangely used in the video packages for Rey vs. Mundo at least one point over the past few weeks, but something just as monumental is happening here! It's Mil Muertes in a suit! He steps away from the mirror and looks dressed to either kill... or love!

He won't get to do either though as Jeremiah Crane blindsides him with the a steel chair! He absolutely PULVERISES him with the weapon before standing over him!


With one more shot, the Lucha Death Machine drives one chair into the skull of Muertres by way of another chair that’s in his hands.

We cut to break.

Well this segment definitely made Crane look strong! I can't recall anyone laying out Muertes other than within an actual match in the Temple! I mean, Pentagon did before Aztec Warfare II but Mil was not knocked out like this!

Has Crane done this at the right time though? I mean, he has a match next!

This Crane-Muertes-Catrina triangle is one of the most interesting things going on in Lucha at the moment and you just know it's going to get even more interesting as it looks set to become a square! After all, if Catrina doesn't love either of these men then who on earth/hell does she love?!


We get another video package for Mundo vs. Mysterio and this time it features the former and present stars of the Underground! Chavo isn't sure who will prevail in this battle of the best. Cage knows first hand that Johnny can be beaten. Prince Puma knows both men so well as they're two of his greatest rivals in the Temple, but he even can't call this. Striker believes it will come down to who wants it more. However, none of these men, not even Cage, can call the victor here... that is until Prince Puma reveals that he has decided.

“Rey! Because he doesn't know how to lose.”

This was done amazingly well again. Lucha Underground have done so well to make this feel like a big deal because let's face it, none of these matches have had these video packages before in all three seasons of the show. It's a simple point, but less is more as they say.


We're back in the ring for one final time tonight! Melissa Santos is as poised as always as she introduces the first of our final two combatants. Already in the ring, from The Last House On The Left, it's Jeremiah Crane! He looks far too calm for someone who has just made an enemy of death.

His opponent is Washington's Killshot! He receives quite the ovation from the Believers as he rushes down to the ring! This is going to be one hell of a contest. The fan favourite places his dog tags around the turnbuckle and catches Jeremiah with a kick as soon as the bell rings. It's on!

Cueto Cup – First Round Match
Jeremiah Crane vs. Killshot

A suicide dive pushes Jeremiah away but Crane immediately runs to the ring himself and unleashes his own! Not to be outdone, Killshot heads back to the ring, runs and hits a beautiful tuck moonsault! Crane still comes back into the ring though to hit yet another dive! Wow! On the outside, Killshot whips Crane into a wall but Jeremiah sends his opponent over the top. This allows the WMD to hit a NICE plancha! This is pretty mental thus far!

Both men strike one another on the outside now before a pretty big hand from Killshot floors his opponent. This is only momentarily for the Lucha Death Machine sends his adversary into the railings of the Temple and sends his carcass to the floor with an exploder suplex! The dog tags have been taken, as if the match wasn't intense enough. He delivers an elbow with the tags! Killshot is sat in the reserved seats – this is never good. His cup rival only runs and hits him in the stomach hard, which still isn't pretty but could have been... WORSE! Oh my god! Never mind as Crane just took the world's biggest run up and unleashed a huge CANNONBALL! The Believers think this is awesome; I certainly think this is intense!

We return to the ring not long afterwards and Crane has the masked man loaded for a top-rope powerbomb. The latter flips out of it and delivers a superkick before sending him loopy with a single leg kick in the corner. 1...2... Kick out! Jeremiah soon repays the favour with two huge knee strikes. He grits his teeth, loads up a third, and gets floored with the roll-through cutter! That's 1...2... Still not enough! Vampiro describes Jeremiah Crane as a chicken with its head cut off: not dying straight away. This proves troublesome for Killshot as his opponent counters a lift into a roll-up before kicking him in the back of the head! A brainbuster is his next chosen piece from his arsenal as he goes for the pin here. Unlucky! Just a two!

A “both these guys” chant breaks out which inspires each man to elbow one another in the face apparently! A running pump kick, a superkick, some traded knees and then another running knee from each man at the same time closes the fast sequence of interchanging strikes from both men. The Believers are so vocal here as they let out a “holy sh*t” chant next! The Lucha Death Machine spits in the face of Killshot and receives many, many punches and slaps to the face for his troubles. A front dropkick in the corner, a superkick AND a rope-assisted DDT allow Killshot to go for the cover here. It's two again of course! He takes no time to worry though as he locks in the Short Arm Scissors! Try as he might, he reaches, and yes he grabs the ropes! Striker tells us there has been some discoloration so has the patriotic luchador gained an advantage here?

Jeremiah is certainly still in this though. When the two men begin exchanging blows on the apron, he grabs a kick from Killshot, spins his leg into the post and then takes to the skies. In spite of the leg injury, the masked man still has the strength to catch his foe, delivering a Death Valley Driver on the apron! He takes to the top rope and here comes the Kill Stomp! He hits it! 1... 2.... What?! He kicked out?! Before he can even think of hitting that Storm Cradle Driver, Dante Fox emerges in the rafters.

“Killshot, this ain't over between us!”

That momentary lapse in concentration allows Jeremiah to hit the double underhook spike piledriver known as Cranial Contusion! It gets the 1-2-3! What a match!

WINNER: Jeremiah Crane

The believers chant “that was awesome” as Crane kneels before the seal in the ring. There's definitely more to Jeremiah here, either that, or he is mocking Mil Muertes by kneeling before the very symbol that the Immortan drives his fist into. Speaking of which, the lights go out, only for them to be lit by the arrival of Catrina who holds the stone up high. Is she... smiling? She is! Crane blows her a kiss and grins back. Has he gained her heart or has he earned his himself a beating? I'm sure we'll find out!

This match was absolutely brilliant. Now I have to admit, this is the very same type of match that the likes of Rip Rogers and Randy Orton would have hated. I wouldn't say there was no selling, as I remember Killshot selling a few shots on the outside of the ring and Crane holding his arm. The selling was minimal though, as both men just kept battling and battling. I didn't mind that as this match had something huge at stake and to be honest, if you can't suspend your disbelief to appreciate the superhuman strength of these two men in a promotion that has murders and mythical beings, when can you? You have to remember as well – we have a patriotic war hero here who never backs down, and a man who very may well have powers himself!

The distraction makes a ton of sense but because the match was so good, it definitely went to the back of my mind; I don't know if that was the same for you!

Crane deserves a ton of respect for his performance in this match but I'd really like to talk about Killshot here too who I feel can not have a bad match if he tried! I've seen both of these men live a few times at promotions like Fight Club: PRO and PROGRESS so I can definitely vouch for them giving it their all every time they fight – be it in separate matches, against each other and as a team called JML! If you asked me where this match ranks? I'd say this was probably the greatest singles match without a gimmick that hasn't taken place at an Ultima Lucha. This was something else.


In his office, Dario Cueto sells the Cueto Cup to a mystery benefactor in his office. Next week has the potential for violence, his favourite thing of course! We'll see Puma vs Mandel, Star vs. Black, Azteca vs. Fox (wow) and...

We see the back of this huge man. He is wearing a black vest with a logo on the back. That isn't the Son of Havoc logo. But it has to be him, right?!

“So who will I be facing?”
“There's only one person left, Son of Havoc...”

Did Dario address him or did he say that Havoc was left?

“What did you say your name was again?”
“Madness... Son of Madness.”

We then see the bushy beard of this competitor, an almost-doppelganger for the Believers' favourite fighter from the Open Road! Rubbing his hands together, he enjoys Dario's next lines

“Next week will be Son of Havoc vs... Son... of Madness. Where should I have Melissa bill you from?”

A pause.

“The Open Road.”

Cueto looks at his newly-drawn card, and adds it to his bracket.


Madness smiles.

Well, that's where the doppelganger from the trailer comes in! I can't say I wasn't expecting this when I saw that Havoc was due to face a mystery opponent but the revelation that he too was from the Open Road means we will probably get a feud with a nice bit of backstory for Havoc! A war between bikers? That's brilliant. That's like putting Chuck Palumbo up against American Badass Undertaker. I kid. This is going to be so much better.


28th June – Jeremiah Crane (2)
21st June – Marty “The Moth” Martinez
14th June – Cage (3)
7th June – Prince Puma (2)
31st May – Johnny Mundo (4) and The Mack (3)
11th January – Dragon Azteca Jr.
4th January – Johnny Mundo (3)
28th December – Cage (2)
21st December – The Mack (2)
14th December – Jeremiah Crane
7th December – The Mack
30th November – Vampiro
23rd November – Johnny Mundo (2)
16th November – Sexy Star
9th November – Mil Muertes
2nd November - Rey Mysterio Jr. (2)
26th October - Johnny Mundo
19th October - Drago
12th October - Chavo Guerrero Jr.
5th October - Cage
28th September - Prince Puma
21st September - Jack Evans
14th September - Killshot
7th September - Rey Mysterio Jr.

Learn valuable information about how the woman you love is using another man? Check.
Take out said love rival? Check.
Advance in the Cueto Cup? Check.
Put on an amazing match in the process? Check.
Grab her attention in the process? Check.

Everything's coming up Crane, and with that, he receives his second award of the season. Although, if he had lost that match, it quite easily could have gone to Killshot due to his part in that incredible battle. Respect to both men, it has to be said.


To those who are now joining us in reading Sound of the Underground each week for the rest of the season, I would like to re-explain what this section of the column is. At the start of the season, I asked commenters on Lordsofpain and Twitter to predict when they believe the “Lord” will appear during this season. The winner will receive a one-time joint column with myself on this very website AND a special prize that I am keeping as mysterious as the Lord itself. Entries have now closed.

My friend from the LOPForums, Matt / @HBK4EVER17, drops out of the race this week. It doesn't look like the Lord wants to watch the first round of the Cueto Cup and judging by the episodes that are left, the remaining entrants of the competition will have to hope that he doesn't wish to watch the second round either! We now have a brief break from entries before Kblitzko gets his chance in six episodes time. We then have an even briefer break before we have every episode predicted all the way until the end of the season. This is going to be interesting!

30- Kblitzko
34- TNJacktion
35- StuartGosling
36- Grimjac
37- Ralph83
38- TheImplications
39- JSR-13
40- BeaverCleavage


This was a great episode to watch. The other matches were short but sweet, as we saw a dominant squash match, a great upset and a win for equality. Of course though, it's all about that hell of a great main event. The segments were all about some key stories – with the love triangle between Catrina, Mil and Jeremiah and the emergence of Son of Havoc's apparent Open Road rival.

Let's talk about that man then. How long do you reckon he has known Havoc? Does he know Mrs. Havoc? Has he tasted her bagel bites? Okay, that sentence didn't sound creepy at all. If you wish to discuss any of this and more, please pop it down below in the comment section or give me a shout on Twitter @ Leaflop

Until next week my friends, don't stop believing and thank you for reading.


The Lordsofpain Columns forum is very much like Lucha Underground – anyone can appear at any point, and they all have a story to tell.

This week, just like the Cueto Cup, it is competition time!

The entrants are in for this year's Columns Forums Classic. Out of respect for the competitors, I won't share my favourite entries thus far, but for those who are looking to read our equivalent of Dario Cueto's extravaganza, you can find everything here:


  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: A Character Perspective - King Cuerno

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: A Character Perspective - Pentagon Dark

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: Character Perspective - Johnny Mundo

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3 Season God Award - #5 - #1

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3 Season God, #10 - #6

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3E40 - Ultima Lucha Tres Part 4

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND Special: Tying Up Loose Ends

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3E39 - Ultima Lucha Tres Part 3

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3E38 - Ultima Lucha Tres Part 2

  • SOUND OF THE UNDERGROUND: S3E37 - Ultima Lucha Tres Part 1