NOTE FROM MORPHEUS: This one’s been a long time coming, folks, which I am sure you already know. Between Holiday madness, and multiple members of the panel succumbing to various illnesses, this column has seen almost as many delays as a Chicago airport in January. Nonetheless, the Dudes Abide, and here we are to kick off one hell of a new year, with an old school crew. I was talking to our favorite Jheri Curl Co-Host, Ceebs, and he had an epic suggestion for this panel: All Old School Main Page Columnists. Capitalizing on his stroke (no pun intended) of genius, we moved forward and put together this panel of Old School names a lot of you are sure to recognize. Let’s get to it, shall we?
Topic 1 (from Current Big Thing): No one will care where John Morrison went. By Valentine’s Day, he'll already be an afterthought. When he does finally show up in TNA (under his real surname, Hennigan, just in time for St. Patrick's Day), people will act like they missed him until they forget about him again three weeks later. FACT or FICTION.
Degenerate - I've always appreciated what John Morrison offered the WWE during his stay there. Whatever your feelings are on him, in my opinion he was more than decent, and his multiple Tag Team and Intercontinental championships (and yeah, that ECW Championship run counts, too) are a testament to that. However, although saying we'll forget about the dude in mere months sounds harsh, I have to say that this is a FACT, but only if he does land in TNA. I'll bet any amount of money that the company will be responsible for him being relegated to this forgotten status. If I were him and wanted to continue wrestling, I'd just bite the bullet and get back to the WWE. It really couldn't have been that bad of a workplace to not want to be there.
Morpheus - There is so much Fact in this question that it boggles the mind. Honestly, I already have to admit to not caring where he went. This, to me, is sad, because I genuinely like the dude. However, his lack of presence has had zero effect on my life. That’s not a good sign. It’s already out of sight, out of mind, so I’m afraid that he’s going to have a bit of trouble trying to live on name recognition alone. However, I also don’t think he’s going to turn up in TNA at all, and at the end of the day, I think that means I have to answer this one with FICTION as I do my best to observe the letter of the law.
Prime Time - I'll say FICTION, for two reasons. Firstly I think if he does turn up in TNA they'll use him so much that you can't forget about him. Everybody knows that they do enjoy pushing an ex-WWE guy, and I don't think Roode being champion is really going to change that all that much. Second, while Johnny Nitro wasn't exactly a huge star on WWE programming, he was a hell of a workhorse for them, and I think people will miss that as much as anything else. So he'll leave a smallish hole in the WWE, and if he does pitch up in TNA he'll be a big player until at least 2013.
Wevv Mang - FACT. It's true whenever someone jumps promotions. The novelty fades off quick and soon apathy takes over. Name recognition is not what it once was. In the case of John Morrison, I'm not familiar with his recent work, but his past work was fairly solid, when given a chance. His Jim Morrison character got over at first, so who knows. He can wrestle a very exciting style, but he does need support to make it at first, and with TNA, who knows, but I'll side with a pessimistic answer for this one.
Zuma - John who? Honestly, since I haven't really been reading the main page too much, I had missed the fact that he was fired. He has been so on and off as far as appearing on screen, with injuries and suspensions, that I just figured he had pulled something or other. He is a talented guy, and defiinitely brings something different to the table as far as his style. That style will play well in TNA, and there are some matchups over there that I wouldn't mind seeing. I'm going to have to say FICTION to this... hopefully this is a wake up call to this young man with lots of potential. It's time to stop being an asshole and start being a professional so you can have a career.
Current Big Thing - One of these days I'm going write a topic with which I disagree, but today isn't the one. FACT, and here's why: John Morrison is one of those guys that I think people in the IWC say they like because they think they're supposed to like him, that he's one of their guys. I don't think they really like him, and I don't think they realize that they don't really like him, but I think that the radio silence that accompanies his sabbaticals from weekly-televised programming backs up my assertion of the IWC's unknown, maybe even inadvertent apathy toward the one-time Tuesday Night Delight. I also don't for a second put it beyond the TNA/Impact Wrestling mind trust to debut an Irish guy on St. Patrick's day under his Irish-as-fuck real surname. That's right up their alley.
Topic 2 (from Degenerate): Wade Barrett will win his first world championship before the end of 2012. FACT or FICTION.
Morpheus - I’m going to say this once. Davey Boy Smith was close, and Lord Alfred Hayes was closer, but in my lifetime, there hasn’t been a single British guy who should have been WWE or World Heavyweight Champion. Yes, that includes William Regal, and yes, that includes Wade Barrett. I’m going to say FICTION just to be obstinate, but we all know he’s going to get the couple-week reign to give Orton time off to have his rapidly expanding jawline surgically shaven back or some shit sometime down the road. But for the record, it shouldn’t happen. At all.
Prime Time - Oh, FACT all day long. If Wade isn't World Champion by the end of 2012 I'll be stunned. I reckon he'll have it wrapped up by Summerslam. There are very few genuine heels in the company right now, and Barrett ticks all the boxes. Seriously, I think the only thing that can stop this one is injury.
Wevv Mang - FACT. I don't see him as a major star, but management seems to like him, so I'd say it's a sure bet he'll win a championship before the year is over. WWE likes to give their rookies the belt sooner rather than later to see what they can do.
Zuma - This is a tough one for me. I don't doubt that Mr. Barrett will win a Big Belt at some point. He's got the look and the rest of what Vince and Co. are looking for as far as "champeeeeens" go. With Randy Orton's recent "injury", Barrett becomes much more important to the overall plans of the company. He needs to step it up a notch, but if he does - I could see this being a FACT, and Barrett will win a title late in 2012.
Current Big Thing - This one seems pretty tough to argue against, D. I'm going with FACT for no fewer than these reasons: A) The WWE decision-makers seem to like Wade Barrett more than a little; 2) If Mark freakin' Henry can be a World Champion, anyone can; and D) They pass the belts around like green “Participation” ribbons to the shitty swimmers after a meet.
Degenerate - I have a really, really good feeling about Wade Barrett, and feel like this "Barrett Barrage" we're witnessing right now is the beginning of his rise to the top. Ever since he won the first season of NXT and had his Nexus run and feuded with John Cena, I felt like he was ready for a top-level push, even back then. I've rarely felt that way about someone who's relatively new to the company. He can speak, have people hate the hell out of him, and I think he's done well inside the ring.
I had my doubts about him at the beginning of this year, with the Corre not taking off, and Barrett seemingly being pushed down the card instead of going up. But his work the last few months of 2011 make me want to believe that this is FACT - I'm pretty sure Wade Barrett will have at least one title run in the next year.
Topic 3 (from Morpheus): Daniel Bryan is presently the luckiest vegan in the world, but he’d better enjoy it while it lasts because his first World Heavyweight Championship reign won’t last beyond the Rumble. FACT or FICTION.
Prime Time - FICTION, though it might not last much longer than that. I'd be surprised if he didn't go beyond the Rumble as champion, but I'm not certain he'll make it to Wrestlemania. I think Elimination Chamber could be the night for Bryan unless something strange happens in the next few weeks. I'm more of a fan of the guy than a lot of people so I think it's a bit of a shame, but that's the way I see it. Even so I'll say fiction, because I don't see it changing quite that quickly. He'll be World Champion on January 30th.
Wevv Mang - I'm going to say FICTION on this one. Yes, I'm being optimistic, because there's some real potential here. First, I am reminded of the time WWE took a chance on a group of other internet darlings, and gave them the belts and WWE started making some progress from the dark days of the McMahon Helmsly crapfest. Benoit, Guerro were the champions and suddenly, chances started being taken, and the risk started to pay off. Fans liked them. In this case, in 2011, it's different. Kinda.
What’s the main difference between the two? That’s a whole other question.
As for Bryan in particular, I have followed enough to know that Show and Henry had been going back and forth leading up to this match. Having Bryan in the mix adds a bit of longevity to that feud. I think he’ll hold on to his title past the Rumble. There’s a PPV to sell after all. So, a little fantasy booking.
Show vs Bryan at the Rumble. Mark interference and Bryan keeps the belt.
Feb, which I think is Elimination Chamber PPV, sees Show and Henry and Bryan fill half the Smackdown Chamber and be ready to tear apart anyone who gets in their way. Some easy hype, the chamber is the only structure that can hold those two, yadda, yadda yadda. That way Bryan can loose and not loose that much momentum and he can easily be shifted to a feud coming out of the Chamber.
So, it’s either the Chamber or a cage match. I just like the idea of Bryan as a buffer between the two, and if he can not only hold his own, but win some matches on his own without interference, so much the better.
Zuma - This is actually a really good question. Obviously, all of us IWC dorks are loving the fact that the American Dragon is the WHC. It's one of the greatest moves that WWE has ever made, and they are making a new superstar right here and right now with Bryan. He's well deserving, as we all know - but I think since the moment he won we've all questioned if he'd ever be given a chance. Well, he earned a chance and it's time for him to run with it. I think this is FICTION. Daniel Bryan is due a Wrestlemania moment, and the management knows he can deliver an amazing match at the big dance, so they will let him keep it until at least then.
Current Big Thing - Luckiest vegan on Earth? I'm pretty sure that honor belongs to Russell Brand. Dude might not eat meat, but he does get to eat Katy Perry. And play with her epic boobs (Hi 'Nony). I say FICTION here, M, because I think he gets out of the Royal Rumble with the gold only to lose it at the Elimination Chamber show in Feberrary. I will now make the Internet come: Wouldn't it be cool, though, if WWE did a World Title unification match at WrestleMania with Daniel Bryan and CM Punk?
Degenerate - I say FICTION. If history is a good indication of how the future will go, let's take the title run of The Miz as an example. After he cashed in his Money In The Bank contract, I honestly didn't think the dude would make it to 2011 with the title. Hell, I thought he was going to be the first person to cash in the Money In The Bank contract to not win the championship. But then he got to 2011 with the title, retained at the Royal Rumble and went to the Main Event at Wrestlemania and retained there, too. Seeing a heel do that just shattered all expectations I had.
Daniel Bryan is on fire right now, and I doubt he'll be losing his title any time soon. It wouldn't surprise me at this point to see him go past Wrestlemania and still be champion.
Morpheus - All FICTIONS? Really? None of you guys think he’s going to drop the belt at or before the Rumble? Well, color me brown and call me Shaniqua. Now you have me second-guessing on this one. To me, it just seemed so out-of-the-blue, him winning the belt, and there doesn’t seem to be a real big plan for his reign. I think we’re going to see this as a first-step kind of reign, like Edge had, where it gets his foot in the door, but it’s going to take him a bit longer to really establish himself at the top of the card. I think it’s great that he won and all, but I have to stick with my gut on this one and call FACT.
Topic 4 (from Prime Time): Kofi Kingston will win a world championship in 2012. FACT or FICTION.
Wevv Mang - You know, I want to say Fiction, as I think he’ll probably be cut by WWE by the end on 2012, but until that time, I think he’ll get another Tag Title before then, so FACT.
Zuma - FICTION. Not only will he not win a World Championship in 2012, but I don't think he will ever win a World Title of any sort. I don't know what it is about him, but to me he's just so boring. There isn't anything to me that screams "star". What he scream to me i"blah" and "what ever happened to JTG?"
Current Big Thing - FICTION times 18. Kofi Kingston a world champ? [EdLover]C'mon, son.[/EdLover]
Degenerate - FICTION. I think Kofi will not win a world championship in 2012 or even come close. And it's a damn shame. He's definitely capable in the ring, as we all know. He's very marketable, as I witnessed firsthand at a WWE live event, when his shirt was being sold like crazy. And all types of fans just like him, from the young impressionable kids to the usually whiny adults. However, my belief is that if Kofi hasn't been pushed to main event status by now, it will never happen. Let me tell you a story to explain myself.
In November 2009, while Kofi was in the middle of a fantasic feud with a Randy Orton, I was lucky to be at Madison Square Garden for a live showing of Raw. In that show, Kofi brawled with Orton into the crowd, and after knocking out Orton, he lay him on a table that was about 20 - 25 feet away from where I was sitting. When he got on a railing and did his Boom Drop through the table and a prone Orton, I witnessed one of the biggest pops I've ever heard in a wrestling event. Seriously, I had goose bumps when that happened. Since then, what has Kofi done? Nothing noticeable at all. The more I think about it, the more I believe that if nothing was done to elevate him since that moment, nothing ever will be done.
Morpheus - I almost wish I lived in a world where I could say FACT with a straight face and not be condemned to hell for bearing false witness, but then I realize that I kind of like the laws of physics how they are. Unless I interpret it as Wevvles did to mean ANY belt with World in the title, which I don’t plan to do, I am afraid I will have to simply state FICTION on this one for the sake of my mortal soul.
Prime Time - Really not sure about this. On the one hand, only Randy Orton won more matches on either Raw, Smackdown, or PPV in 2011, and he was constantly around midcard titles throughout the year, so I'm thinking that he could well be somebody they are keeping an eye on. On the other hand, things have slipped in recent months and he seems less likely to win it than he would have been a couple of months ago. I'm going to go FICTION.... but only just. I wouldn't rule out a small reign at all.
Topic 5 (from Wevv Mang): WWE changing from a PG 13 television rating to a more mature rating would have no effect on improving the product in the long run. FACT or FICTION.
Zuma - A mature rating for WWE programming would be a tough thing, business wise, for them to swallow. While they will always have their adult fans, the new fans are younger kids. Without even considering improving the product, they need to keep their business accessible to a younger audience to grow and continue to stay in business. Those action figures don't sell to most men in their 20's or 30's - they sell to kids. The toys, the t-shirts, and the most of their merchandise is geared towards a younger audience, and the WWE needs that audience's revenue stream. Moving to a more "mature" show would inhibit growth, so in the long run... I'm going to have to say that it's a FACT, and that it would actually damage the overall health of the corporation in the long run.
Current Big Thing - FACT. Glorious, glimmering, shining like the stars on a clear night FACT. If they just switched back to the more “mature” stuff, they'd be more than a little bit likely to produce some absurd, nonsensical television just to prove how no-longer-kid-friendly they really are. Furthermore, the show is going to be a few golden nuggets mired in shit until they either get better writers, or get rid of the TV writers entirely. One of those two things needs to happen. They either need to let the wrestlers speak from their hearts, or they need to pay some good money for some legit writers to replace the ones the picked up after their getting fired from Days of Our Lives. I swear, TNA/Impact Wrestling is to wrestlers recently fired from WWE as WWE is to recently-fired soap opera writers. In other words, their lips are locked tightly, and they do not let the balls go unnoticed.
Degenerate - Hmm, this is a tough one. There's no denying that the peak of professional wrestling was in a big way due to the nearly Rated R programming. As a 17-year-old dude, I loved this stuff, and most of my high school classmates were exactly the same. Blood, violence and nearly-naked chicks? Sign me up. Hormones aside, it seems like all non-wrestling fans, from kids to adults, just ate it all up.
However, as far as "improving" the actual product? I don't think a non-PG rating will be any sort of improvement. I might be an optimist, but I think the current product is doing well as it is. Sure, it's not perfect, but was it ever? I think that a lot of the people who complain about the current product being "too soft" or whatever are just a very vocal minority that we see on the Internet quite frequently. So I say FACT to this.
Morpheus - What someone wants to see and what the world at large wants to see rarely overlap when said person is a member of the illustrious IWC. PG vs XXX doesn’t mean a shit’s difference as far as the overall product quality is concerned. That boils down to individual taste. The FACT of the matter is that the PG rating is overrated (see what I did there) in terms of being this formless villain that everyone likes to lash out against. Wrestling is wrestling, with or without censorship. You want to improve the wrestling product? Then put out a better wrestling product. The rating is meaningless insofar as quality is concerned.
Prime Time - FACT. I was an advocate of moving to a more PG product for years because they were recycling bad Attitude angles for years, and that was the worst thing about the product. The company was stale by 2003, in my opinion, and they needed something to freshen it up. Moving to PG hasn't been popular with everyone, as these shifts never are, but at the same time I think we've seen much more creativity and much less recycling since the change. I don't think more Al Wilson and Katie Vick would improve the product long term, and I'm not even convinced that such a shift would improve it in the short term, either.
Wevv Mang - FACT. There are two ways a more mature rating would affect the WWE.
Blood may or may not be allowed. The main reason blood was cut back on, was first for the kids, and second, because it was being overused, and the effect of "busting" some one open was being lost. Changing from a PG 13 to a M for mature could mean that every match becomes a death match, and shock the hell out of the audience. To what end? Story still drives the weekly TV, not individual matches. At least, I think so. I will admit, I do not watch wrestling. I watch clips. Unless there has been a radical change to the programming style of WWE, it's still the angles that determine what gets put on TV and what drives the bulk of the allocation of TV time.
So basically for the matches, it means blood. That's about it.
For the Angles:
It could mean a whole lot more. Heaven help us, it could mean a return to "shock TV". It could also mean that the chicks become a lot more valuable as sex objects. It could also mean a whole heap of crappy angles, or it could mean a more adult oriented and complex style of storytelling. Stop laughing, I'm serious. OK, I give up. You're right. They're WWE writers after all.
So, my guess would be, if the WWE did go more adult and a heavier rating, that WWE would just start throwing bad language and sex at the viewers, and my experience with those things from the good old days of left me more amused than aroused.
Working within the confine of a PG 13 rating is not that hard. It just means some language, some situations, and some violence cannot be used. However, it's still easy to get the message across. Bambi's mother was killed. It didn't need to be shown. A well placed cut away scene can be more effective than the use of the actual words. Sex can still be hinted at, but not graphically shown. It's tricky, requires some thought, but it still can be done. The freedom to use the full range of tools does not automatically make the product better. In fact, it sometimes can do just the opposite. Those tools become cop outs to actual story development.
So, to get back on track and end this preaching, I'll wrap this up with:
Short term interest in a harder WWE (Did you see what they did last night?!?)
Didn't they already do this? It sucked then, it still sucks now. I'd rather watch Green Bay play Minnesota again.
Topic 6 (from Zuma): The Rock will never wrestle again on a regular (weekly/bi-weekly) basis. FACT or FICTION.
Current Big Thing - This is a seemingly inarguable FACT from where I sit. The reality is that the Rock wasn't even semi-regular back in 2004 when he thought he might do okay in the movie business. Now it's 2011, and he's a bona-fide movie star. He's already gone. And that's okay. Thanks for the memories, The “Dwayne Johnson” Rock.
Degenerate - Even Stevie Wonder will say FACT to this. Let's use an analogy of sorts. Imagine that you're a factory worker, pulling in 12-hour shifts every day, getting physically banged up from the rigors of the job. Then the CEO of the factory notices your hard work and likes you a lot (or you gave him a blowjob or something, whatever it is that made you noticeable). The CEO takes you under his wing and shows you the ropes of corporate-land and makes you an offer to be the Vice President of the factory. You'll still be putting in long hours, but the physical toll no longer exists. You have a cushy office and get paid at least 20 times more than you did before. Do you think you'd ever go back to being a factory worker again?
Now substitute yourself with The Rock, the factory with the WWE, corporate-land with Hollywood, and vice presidency with being a well-known actor, and that's probably what The Rock is thinking himself. Why go back to the weekly travel and putting his increasingly-older body through physical pain when he can just be a Hollywood actor and avoid all that? I think he is sincere when he says that he loves the business, but the dude has a great thing going for him. He'd be an idiot to come back on his old schedule.
Morpheus - Why you gotta bring Stevie into this, D? He was just sittin’ at home, minding his own business… Readin’ some Braille and shit. You know, Blind Dude stuff. Maybe kickin’ back, listening to some Lionel Richie. Because, I mean, who doesn’t need a bit of Lionel every now and again? Then, all of a sudden, he gets caught up in all this, and used as an example to further your point in a discussion he’ll never see. Oh, shit. Now I went and did it too. You insidious bastard. Damn you and your FACTs, D.
Prime Time - FACT, for any number of reasons. You might get a match or two out of him in the run-up to Wrestlemania, but if he were going to commit to a full or even regular schedule, surely he'd have done it ahead of his main-event match at Wrestlemania? I just think that if he were going to, he'd be doing it by now. I also don't really see anybody reaching the right level to bring Rocky back after his match with Cena, and I don't see him coming back without a big marquee match to motivate him. I also don't really see how Rocky's act fits a PG product - even in this feud with Cena he hasn't fit in all that comfortably. All things considered, I just don't see it. Sorry Rocky fans.
Wevv Mang - I say if Rock does return full time, he’ll wrestle a similar schedule as the Undertaker, which is to say a Triple H schedule, also known as the Shawn Michaels Schedule, or as it is sometimes called, the Kevin Nash schedule.
Or, in plain English, the “Whenever He Damn Well Feels Like Having A Match” schedule.
Now this is not the same as showing up on TV and getting paid, which will happen more frequently.
Zuma - I have thought about this question for some time since I posed it... it's an interesting topic to me and I could write an entire column on it. I'm going to keep it short and sweet though here and just say that this statement, in my opinion, is FICTION. The Rock will return to the WWE on a full time basis at some point. Maybe it's just the fanboy in me hoping beyond hope, but I actually think that his love for the business is going become a factor and the steady paycheck which the WWE could provide to him will be alluring enough for him to rejoin the company and tour for a good number of years.
Special Last-Minute Bonus Topic: (co-sponsored by Murray's Pomade and Player's Man Curl Acitvator Spray)
With Brock Lesnar's MMA career recently hooking up with his NFL football career on Facebook, the Next Big Calendar would appear to have opened up, and in a big bad way. Surely, the pain will come crawling back to WWE before SummerSlam. FACT or FICTION.
Degenerate - Oh, I have no doubts that Brock Lesnar is coming back to the WWE sometime down the road. There's money to be had, and I'm sure there's a slew of competitors that Lesnar wouldn't mind competing with. I don't think he's fully done with the professional wrestling part of his career just yet. However, for him to come back before SummerSlam this year? I have my doubts.
I don't think Lesnar would return to the WWE for nothing less than Wrestlemania. It's widely known that he hated the rigors of travel that the WWE makes its performers deal with, so whenever he comes back, it'll most likely be for a short stint. The two-plus months between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania seem to be a short enough time to endure the schedule and make a shitload of cash. Since the wounds of his last UFC bout are still rather fresh, I don't think he'll be around this time of year. My guess is that he'll be around for Wrestlemania 29 time, but not any time this year. So I'd wager FICTION.
Morpheus - Oh, he’ll be back. It’s all been according to plan. Fact is, he knew when he had his guts removed that he wasn’t going to have too many fights left in him. Fact is, he knew it early enough on that being added to WWE ’12 was a no brainer. Financial sense, plus keeping the door open for a future fallback position? He’d have to be dumb to say no to that. Leading up to what he knows deep down may be his last fight, he drops some anti-WWE commentary, making people think he’s still in it to win it. One last big payday. The man is a player. He knows how to play the game, and we’re all just along for the ride. He’s smart, and he knows how and when to make big money. That’s why it’s FICTION thinking he’ll be back before SummerSlam. UNLESS he makes it in under the wire for a big Mania match, which becomes less and less likely with each passing second, so I am sticking to my guns on this.
Prime Time - I'll say FICTION, assuming you mean he'll appear on screen. He might come crawling back, but I don't believe WWE will see enough value in Lesnar to pay him the kind of money he'd want to come back. He's not well, he hates travelling too much to want to work a full schedule, it's not like he left UFC with a belt, and he left the WWE in a bad way the first time, they left a bad taste in pretty much everyone's mouth. I think there'll be a huge divide between what Lesnar would want to come back and how the WWE would value him. Plus, since he's almost certainly going to work a limited timetable, you'd think if he did ever come back he'd only be back for a one shot deal, and that'd almost certainly mean he'd be back early in 2013 for a Wrestlemania run, and not before the summer.
Wevv Mang - FICTION. I don’t think Brock Lesnar will be back before then. I think he’s going to take some time off and think about things.
Will Brock be in the WWE, period? Yep. Just not anytime soon. I think it all depends on the schedule they offer him. If he gets a Rock type schedule, he may indeed be back earlier rather than later. The WWE needs Lesnar more than Lesnar needs WWE.
Lesnar is a draw, no doubt about that. When he shows up, it will draw attention, and people will tune in to see what happens. I just think Lesnar in the WWE is a bad fit. I’m not sure I could buy any angle they put him in. He’s now the UFC guy, but unlike when Shamrock and Blackman showed up, people have a much better idea of what UFC fighting is about, and how’s done. Brock is a UFC guy now.
That being said, I think whatever angle they come up with, no matter how good, will fall apart once he and his opponent actually try to fight. WWE matches, while there is nothing fake about the physical aspect of the match, IS choreographed, and that will kill the momentum of any WWE style match involving Brock. On the other hand, a UFC style fight can be very boring when viewed live and needs the right kind of announcing to keep interesting. Something WWE does a piss poor job of (ie Michael Cole bitching)
So, while very interested in seeing Brock Lesnar back in WWE, I can’t help but thinking that the whole thing will end up a massive disappointment.
I guess I’m nowhere near ready to jump back on the WWE train.
Zuma - This is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, 1000000000 percent FACT. That big white gorilla is going to be back, and he will BRING THE PAIN back to the 'E. He's got nothing to lose, and nowhere to go. Where else would he rear his big blockhead? NFL? Fail. UFC? Fail. Well, I guess there is one thing he could do... he could go the Jim Brown route and be a private Vegas escort. But, he's got that stomach problem. Nobody wants a stinky butt escort. F5ACT F5ACT F5ACT.
Current Big Thing - I'm inclined to declare Brock Lesnar's eventual return FACTual. I think he'll come back, and I think the suits will hook him up with a relaxed schedule in the vein we've [not] seen with guys like H and the Undertaker and the Rock (circa 2004). I think he might even wind up filling the role the Undertaker occupies now, that being a "gatekeeper" of sorts, the fighting of whom may help a relatively untested contender prove himself worthy. And I think we may very well see the beginning of that chapter this summer.
And that about does it for this month’s edition of Fact or Fiction. A big thanks to everyone involved, and another big thank you to those of you who took the time to read it. Agree? Disagree? Don't give two shits? If you have any thoughts, feel free to send them our way at the email addresses below, or be lazy and (ab)use the Facebook Comment option even further below. In the meantime, Stay Metal, and Ceebs and I will catch all you non-gender-specific fuckers at a future juncture.