Posted in: Fact or Fiction FACT or FICTION: The Jeff Hardy Experiment, Melina and More!
By SkittleZ
Feb 12, 2009 - 7:37:49 PM
I guess its that time again, folks! The February installment of Fact or Fiction has arrived with a vengeance and I really can't find the words to describe this group. Once I'd rounded up the bunch, I couldn't help but notice how the whole thing resembled a science project gone horribly wrong. Anyways, we must roll with what we got so complaining probably isn't in my best interest. We've got yet another LOP Mod on hand, a dual effort who took home the CotM trophy back in November, the latest and greatest female columnist, some hobo and a newer columnist who just gave me his V-card. If you forget the rules easily, I'll refresh your memory since I'm such a nice guy. These six individuals will be faced with five wrestling-related statements which they must deem FACT or FICTION and explain how they came to such conclusions. Sounds simple enough, right? Very well then. No need killing any more air time. This shit costs money!
FACT or FICTION: Jeff Hardy deserves a far more substantial World Title reign before the end of 2009.
(The X) I’m not going to be bias in responding to this question although I’d really like to. Let’s look at this simply from a “ratings” standpoint. With Jeff Hardy as the WWE Champion for 4 weeks, SmackDown’s ratings have been better than ever, with each week topping the last (and winning that coveted male demographic that the WWE loves to tout).
Plus, WWE needs to create a top face Champion not named John Cena. Jeff Hardy really does have the fan base and the skills to go down as a solid WWE Champion in the history books so with that, I’ll say FACT. Give him the John Cena treatment. He deserves it.
(Dope Boy$)
Sir Luscious Left Foot:
I must preface my answers by stating I do not view the E with any sort of regularity. You do realize that there are other forms of wrestling entertainment out there other than WWE right? * * Oh yeah, forgot you folks are the coveted “casual viewer” demographic that advertisers fap about.
At least there are no TNA questions on this shit.
PossumAllahwishesJenkinsDragon3000:
Word. I watch RAW and ECW on a regular basis, because Tuesday nights suck, just in general.
FICTION. Cuz you used the word deserved. He ain’t deserve shit other than what Vinnie Mac allows him to taste, and he should be happy for that. If it said something like: "Jeffery getting another run with the big belt before the calendar year is over, 'tis a good idea?" - then Id agree.
Jeff Hardy should praise Allah the McMahon's let him near that title in the first place, especially with that atrocious juggalo face painting shit he was sporting.
FICTION. Hardy only got that belt to give the potentially (at the time) returning Christian a ready-made World title feud. When that didn’t happen for whatever reason, they decided to turn Matt, to what I’m sure will be disastrous results. In fraudulent fisticuffs, you “deserve” a championship because you’re good at what you do, or because you make the company a lot of money while you have the belt. Hardy may pull in the 11-14 year old girl bucks, but he’s just…not good enough, nah’mean?
(SailorJerrry) As far as I'm concerned this is a no-brainer: FACT. Although Jeff had a few ups and downs during 2008 he has been putting on good matches with main-eventers all year. He has improved phenomenally in terms of in-ring work and promo work since starting his feud with HHH around Armageddon 2007 and is one of the more consistent superstars currently on the roster in terms of match quality.
Although it was too short, I feel that his WWE Championship win propelled him to main-event level permanently and another (more substantial) World Title reign in 2009 will solidify that status. He seemed to find his own niche as champion and is probably the most over superstar in the company right now. He certainly deserves it and 2009 should be the year of Jeff Hardy!
(Thurl) Yay for my second ever Main Page appearance! The first was in The Ayatollah of the Game’s first Ask YourAyatollah edition. No worries Skitz, because of your columning style we can call this my first appearance on the main page... in technicolor! Ha! Anyways, this question is about Jeff Hardy, not me. On with the show:
I was happy that Jeff finally got the title, and didn’t screw it up this time around. I was enjoying the fact that he was pulling off some really good promos as of late too. I can’t say I am crazy about his current storyline, I mean they are almost not bothering with the usual “Rematch Clause” thing. Once this Hardy vs Hardy storyline ends, I say Jeff should indeed get the title back and have a real run with it. FACT.
(Swanton Bomb)FACT. No matter what anybody says, Jeff Hardy has given a lot to this business. Maybe not in the same proportions of The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Triple H, but he helped revamp the ladder match, is one of WWE’s best merchandise sellers, and also helped make the intercontinental championship that little bit more valuable.
To me, Jeff’s recent run as world champion was a slap in the face, maybe it was the real punishment for his drugs scandal just before WrestleMania. Who knows? The only thing I know is, Hardy deserves a much better world championship reign than Rey Mysterio, (because let’s face it – before Hardy’s reign, Rey Rey’s was the worst in recent history) and he can help all the younger wrestlers arrive into the main event with him.
FACT or FICTION: John Morrison will be a main event level talent by 2011 but The Miz won't come close to him in terms of success.
(Dope Boy$)
FACT. If by 2011 John Morrison and his 18 pack of abs aren't in the Main Event it will be because he died in a fake tan/botched body piercing accident or because he crashed his car due to his inability to concentrate his attention on anything but his magnificent reflection in his mirror.
Fuck a Miz, here is my outline for his career: sometime in 2010 Mo and Miz break up, JoMo poses for Playgirl and therefore gets push while Miz flounders on lower mid-card whilst getting fat from some fad diet, he gets caught in a "celebrity" porno/sex tape scandal, loses eyebrows on reality stunt show, converts to Scientology and later Hinduism (the next new hot religion i hear), gets released because he's no longer a "chick magnet", gets caught shoplifting from an H&M dept store, eventually he whores himself out to VH1 for something outlandish before society finally forgets about him.
Meanwhile - JoMo, Punk, RKO, Mike Knox, Teddy Hart and Low Ki have epic feuds in the Main Event.
FICTION. Left Foot, you better pass that thing over here, sounds like you’ve had enough, man. Told you EJ had that fire! Right up until Jericho socked that bitch, the Miz was the only guy in the WWE that could be accurately described as a “douchebag”. That’s what mainstream grapz are missing-somebody like Chuck Taylor who is just an unabashed douchebag, because there’s nothing better than seeing some total douche get beaten up. As long as Miz keeps rockin’ the fauxhawk and the bandanna, I will continue to enjoy watching him get punched. As for Morrison, eh, you and Oni are a couple of queers.
(SailorJerrry) John Morrison has already had quite a successful run as a singles star. A former Intercontinental and ECW Champion; the WWE clearly sees potential in him. However, his mic work was lackluster and it has proved an excellent move to team him with the Miz, where it has come on in leaps and bounds. He has always been an imaginative and entertaining performer in the ring and now he has the complete package.
The Miz has also benefited from this partnership. Although his mic work stands out he is still finding his feet in the ring. He has improved a lot, but probably too little in the amount of time he had available to him and the number of matches he has worked. Also, his booking in melee matches suggest that the WWE don't think particularly highly of him either.
The seeds for a break up of JoMizzy have been planted and I doubt they will last the year. Morrison won't be headlining ppvs in 2009 but I can honestly see him getting there in 2011. As for the Miz, I doubt he'll get beyond the Intercontinental belt. Therefore I say this is a FACT.
(Thurl) You know, I have never been crazy about Mr. Morrison. Not since, well… ever. His first theme song turned me off. It’s cool for Melina by herself, but for MNM, incredibly lame after awhile. It began to annoy me. I jumped for joy when Joey Mercury finally got fired and that tag team came to its end. As for his current entrance Theme, its better, but the slow motion crap and his fur coats annoy the hell out of me.
In all honesty, I hope that Morrison doesn’t get a main event level push, however, if WWE does indeed go in that direction. They need to move him to a better show than ECW. Morrison is too good for ECW anymore, and is hardly on the show anyways. Oh and they should also forget the slow motion and fur coats, and for that matter, the sequined abs, God knows we wrestling fans can live with out them. As far as the Miz is concerned, he won’t be detached from Morrison’s hip for a long time yet. So, I pray for FICTION, one can only hope…
(Swanton Bomb) To me, John Morrison screams WWE Champion, and The Miz screams ECW Champion, tops. Both have made great strides since teaming together to win the WWE Tag Team Championships from MVP and Matt Hardy; The Miz has helped Morrison improve his mic skills, and Morrison has helped The Miz improve his wrestling skills.
However, I feel that seen as Morrison has had a better history in the WWE (Morrison has won several Tag Championships, Intercontinental Championships and an ECW Championship, while Miz has won Tag Championships and was eliminated in three seconds at the 2007 Royal Rumble), and thus will be a more credible Champion. As for timing? I expect by 2010. FACT.
(The X) Oh boy. This one is a tough one as everyone knows I “mark” for Morrison and The Miz. I’ve actually been watching Mike Mizanin since he first came on MTV’s Real World: Back to New York. He always was wrestling and cutting promos on his housemates with a cardboard belt. I thought it was hilarious. To now see him actually wrestle has been entertaining for me.
He definitely has improved immensely since he first started in that Tough Enough garbage and is THE mouthpiece of M&M. However, he’s not going to be a bigger star than Morrison for the simple fact that Morrison can wrestle/put on a show better than the Miz.
But, Morrison is not going to be a main eventer by 2011 if he keeps up with his dry delivery in his promos. They’re not bad, but they’re just not as good as The Miz. So, it’s FICTION that Morrison will be a main eventer and FACT that Miz won’t come close to Morrison’s success. It’s sad too: they both have what the other needs to succeed.
FACT or FICTION: Despite winning the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton will NOT compete for the World Heavyweight or WWE Championship at WrestleMania 25.
(SailorJerrry) This is a difficult one. He has already been put into a feud with the McMahons and logic suggests that this will continue through to the WrestleMania event. If this is the case are they planning to involve Cena in the feud or are they more likely to bring in outside help in the form of someone like Steve Austin? I certainly don't see him challenging for the WWE title on Smackdown either, the main-event there is already full.
Interestingly, in all of his promos he has made quite a fuss about ensuring he is in the main event at WrestleMania, but I'm yet to hear him mention the title shot.
As much as I miss gold around Randy's waist, it is unlikely that the WWE will pass up the opportunity to develop this feud into a legend-ary encounter outside of the title race. I'm going to say this is a FACT.
(Thurl) As much as I would prefer this to be FICTION, it will likely be FACT. Albeit, with all kinds of stipulations stacked against him. I believe Mania would have been better served with Cena vs HBK. But, with the whole JBL story line, and HBK wanting to face Taker, tough luck...
In the unlikely event that Orton will not be challenging for the WWE Heavyweight title though, I see Randy facing Vince McMahon himself. Of course, that would mean Vince would have to go face...
(Swanton Bomb) I hope that WWE doesn’t try and turn Orton into the next SCSA, I really do. Orton is not Austin – he may have a bad attitude like the rattlesnake, but he is not a working man’s hero, is he? Orton came from Evolution, a stable all about power, control and money, so if WWE was to go down the same route, it would backfire spectacularly.
And I don’t think that they will strip him of his shot – in fact the opposite. I think that at WrestleMania, the McMahons (maybe not all of them, but certainly someone) will help screw John Cena. They need some way to make Cena seem interesting. FICTION.
(The X)FICTION. Come on now. They’re feeding him Shane McMahon to absolutely get destroyed at No Way Out. That’s what they always do to get someone over before pushing them. I would say Kane is the example hear but all they did was get him over to ultimately let Undertaker own him in the end so it was completely counter productive. Those no one hotter than Randy Orton at the moment. They'd be fools not to give him his title shot at WrestleMania. I just really don't want to see Orton vs. Cena...
(Dope Boy$)
FICTION. Homeboy is gonna win the title at WM. Him and Steph are in cahoots, WM is his big night. Cena is going to lose his title (I bet on a Raw broadcast) in a "controversial" manner to someone (who cares who). Randy will face that someone at WM and Steph will help him win somehow.
FACT. On the RAW 2 weeks before WrestleMania, Orton is going to again find himself in a situation where he will have the opportunity to boot ol’ Tits McGee right square in the head. His eyes will glaze over, the Legacy will step back, Steph will whimper, marks, woman-haters, and people who believe everything they hear about HHH will become tumescent, and then…
Vinnie Mac (hopefully Thug Vince) will waffle the shit out of Orton with a chair or a ballbat or something. The next week, they will set up some sort of stip match at WrestleMania, in which Vince will bump like a pinball and bleed like Dusty Rhodes. No belt for Orton at this Mania.
FACT or FICTION: Seeing Melina kicked in the back of the head with her own foot was the most entertaining bit we've ever witnessed in a womens match.
(Thurl)
I actually missed this part of the Rumble, so I am going to have go YouTube this move, be right back…
..
...
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…..OK, I am back. I missed that match because I found my live feed only when the rumble itself started. That was some match, despite the poor YouTube quality. They should have let Melina get her finisher on Beth though. Anyways, I am going with FACT on this one. Not many divas are that flexible, and Melina sold it well too. After I saw the kicking, I thought: I know Melina is flexible, but damn… Oh, and I like Santino’s new shirt too.
(Swanton Bomb) FICTION – there have been plenty more entertaining moments. Remember Lita vs. Trish Stratus, where Lita dived over the top rope? Or how about Gail Kim performing a cross body off the top of a cage? Or even (if you want to go there) the playboy tag match at WrestleMania where Torrie Wilson pulled Stacy Keibler’s pants halfway down? You could even go as far as the miller light cat fight girls attacking Jonathan Coachman!
(The X) Who cares about Melina anyway? She should really be a heel because she sucks as a face. But, that’s not the question here. I’ll go FICTION on this one because just last year, Awesome Kong had Christy Hemme kicking herself with her own foot while having her in a modified torture rack. THAT was entertaining.
(Dope Boy$)
FICTION. I ain't seen it, so I’d be lying if I said it was. It sounds funny, but I'm sure it’s not the "most entertaining bit ever seen" of a woman's match.
FACT. I don’t watch women’s matches, and I particularly hate Beth Phoenix, but that was a unique spot that took advantage of Melina’s flexibility.
And the Dope Boy$ are all about taking advantage of a woman’s flexibility.
(SailorJerrry) I've never been a fan of women's matches. I have seen some that were reasonable: a few involving Lita come to mind; but I don't remember anything specific from those matches at all. Seeing Melina kick herself in the head is something I probably will remember for a while. So, on the basis of that I will yet again say FACT.
FACT or FICTION: If booked right, the ongoing Punk/Regal feud will help resurrect the midcard division and subsequently the Intercontinental Championship.
(Swanton Bomb) Oh, FACT without a doubt! However, whether this happens is very doubtful. In between Armageddon and The Royal Rumble, how many Intercontinental Championship matches have we had? Sure, it may make it seem more legit, but how boring is it going to be when the same two guys fight for weeks on end? Get these guys on a proper program, with weeks of buildup to a great match at a PPV, and then the Intercontinental Championship will be going somewhere. But until we see consecutive storylines with great blow off matches, it’s going nowhere.
(The X)FICTION. The WWE has completely buried the Intercontinental to the point of no return. This Punk/Regal feud is entertaining and COULD help the title but then the WWE will do something stupid like…handing back to Santino which completely undermines the “legacy” of the Intercontinental Championship. If they want me as a viewer to take the title seriously, stop putting it on losers like Santino (although, he’s like, the brightest spot on the RAW roster).
(Dope Boy$)
FACTION. Yeah I contracted both words, eat it. Punk/Regal hopefully will resurrect the mid-card, but the IC Title isn't getting fixed. That title is that girl who does porn for a couple years - its been used, abused and is without a purpose. You can shine it up and make it seem important again though tournaments and makeup, but it will never be as great, innocent and prestigious as it used to be.
But Punk/Regal could usher in a new era for the mid-card. A place where (gasp) the best and most athletic superstars get a chance to show their stuff. And a place where future feudees in the Main Event can get familiar with each other, like it was back in the days with Rock, HHH, the Harts, etc...
FIC-FACT (? He took the good one). Since Regal won the IC strap in London and gave that weird heel/face promo, the title feels like it officially has some meaning to me now. In addition, Punk and Regal have put on the finest WWE in-ring feud since Cena and Umaga. However, will it be as meaningful when Kofi Kingston and another mid-level guy, like Cody Rhodes, are spending 3 months fighting over it? Time will tell, but Regal is definitely the man.
(SailorJerrry) FICTION. Punk is exactly the right person to hold the Intercontinental Championship on RAW at the moment. As a former World Heavyweight Champion (even if only for a very short time), Punk brings some credibility to the IC title after months of poor booking. Also, if the company ever decides to get behind him, he is in prime-position for a jump to the top of the card and just needs some time to improve before they pull the trigger.
Regal is strong in the ring, but the fans simply don't care about him and he will remain a mid-carder for the rest of his career. Whilst he has the ability to help Punk hone his skills, he will not help to elevate the title any. To truly resurrect the IC title Punk needs to feud with a main-eventer for the IC belt - and win.
Although I believe the Intercontinental title needs resurrecting, Punk/Regal is not the way to do it. On the other hand I don't think the RAW mid-card division needs resurrecting at all. It is fit for purpose, no one is being pushed or buried unduly; but Smackdown is the place to go if you want to see good quality mid-card matches. In my opinion the mid-card talent on RAW is too scant to have a resurrected division.
(Thurl) You know, I would have said FACT were it not for how this feud has already been booked. Granted, you can tell the writers are trying, but they can do better. If you want to restore the prestige of the Intercontinental title, you need to put it on a bigger main eventer, and have a more high profile feud for it. Then you need to KEEP having high profile feuds for it. Knowing WWE though, they will likely give us a turd after Regal and CM Punk are done. Were it up to me, I would have the IC title on HBK, you know, have it on the Man who had a big part of making it as prestigious as it was in the first place. But I am not a WWE writer, and the IC title isn’t going to be revived by this feud, so I am calling this one FICTION.
Oh, and before anyone wants to give me crap about putting a mid card title on HBK, answer me this question, Can you call a feud with old flabby JBL a main event feud? No? Me neither.
(sigh) Nothing beats giving minimal effort and receiving all the praise for putting a column together. But please don't thank me! It was the rowdy bunch above who made all of this possible. Without their assistance, I'm just a dork who can't deliver the goods on the Main Page. If this didn't satisfy you enough because your literary appetite is fucking out of control, I suggest you go check out the LOP Columns Forum. That place usually does the trick. But before you run off and forget this little rendezvous ever happen, the courteous thing to do is leave these damn fools some feedback! Well you don't have to but I think its the least you could do really since I exerted so much effort in putting this all together. Me and the Fact or Fiction bandwagon will be back sometime next month so buy your tickets now while they're still cheap! Or just come back around the middle of March. Either one will do.
