Posted in: Fact or Fiction FACT or FICTION: A New Era?
By Doc Monk
Jul 11, 2009 - 7:42:28 PM
Welcome one and all to the July edition of Fact or Fiction, as you should be able to tell by the shoddy banner; the times are a changing. Fear not though, I know just the type of loving you want and I'll go easy on you for your first time. I won't be alone though, as usual I'm joined by five fellow LOP standouts. Hell who am I kidding, they actually do all the work just how I like it. Let's get to know our guests.
Skitz: No other main page writer has more fake power than this guy, and in this business the only thing that matters more than fake power is a big "e-dick".
FUN FACT: Skitz once punched a chick for getting ketchup on his Portuguese breakfast.
Uncle Joe: A former Indy wrestler whose career was cut short following a ruptured testicle. Had the gimmick of being a disgruntled chef named Uncle Joe.
FUN FACT: Uncle Joe still holds a grudge against Samoa Joe for "stealing" part of his own catchphrase from his Indy days. "Joe is gonna grill you."
Slap: A hopeless romantic and love story novelist, Slap is easily the most diverse guy in this month's rotation.
FUN FACT: Got his start writing bestiality stories and even founded a porn knock off of Youtube called Beast Tube before selling the site for $13.
MyLeeCyrus: Rising star of LOP's column forum and a true standout on Team UK. Unfortunately that's like being the smartest teenager in the second grade.
FUN FACT: Has a tattoo of a corn dog on his back.....no punch line for that one.
Super Chrisss: A former biology teacher was unceremoniously let go following what was called "inappropriate conduct" with a dead frog.
FUN FACT: Once answered "C" to a true or false question and got it right.
Now that we've gotten cozy with our guests, let's kick this thing off.
FACT or FICTION
Question # 1.) FACT or FICTION: A win for Brock Lesnar at UFC 100 over Frank Mir. will help further legitimize the toughness of professional wrestlers in the eyes of non-wrestling fans.
Uncle Joe:FICTION. Wrestling will always be looked down upon by people who don’t watch it, and nothing will ever change that. They ‘ll think Lesnar is the exception, and not the rule, which isn’t the truth so to speak, but there’s nothing that can be done to change anyone’s minds, sans making them train to wrestle.
MyLeeCyrus: Well, this is a tough question to approach for someone who is a wrestling fan and isn't a UFC fan, but I'd go with Fact. The more Lesnar (and, to a lesser degree, Lashley) can accomplish in real fighting, the better it will look for wrestling in general. Lesnar has already added a whole lot to the argument that professional wrestlers are legitimate tough guys, and as long as he keeps winning, their rep will grow.
Slap:FICTION - Lesnar is far from your everyday professional wrestler. He may have been involved in professional wrestling for years, but all his other credentials put in in a far other category from your everyday professional wrestler. When John Cena or HHH dominate the MMA circuit, then maybe pro wrestling will get a little more respect.
Super Chrisss: This one is obviously FICTION. As much as Vince wishes it was true, pro wrestling just isn't mainstream anymore. It doesn't matter if Brock Lesnar beats Mir, or if Bobby Lashey beats Mir, or even if Hulk Hogan beats Mir harder than Linda, the majority of UFC and non-wrestling fans still won't recognize how tough wrestlers are. If the average non-wrestling fan thinks wrestling is fake (which is kind of true), they also believe that the wrestlers are actors (which is also kind of true). In their mind, a character is only as tough as they are in real life. Clint Eastwood usually comes across as a badass in most of his movies, but the audience would likely see him as any another old man in real life. Same thing goes for wrestling. Ric Flair may be a 16-time World Champion but so what? That just means he beat 15 other actors. I'll be pulling for Brocky come UFC 100, and should he win, good for him. However, the public's view on wrestling won't change whether he wins or not, and that's the unfortunate truth
Skitz: I wish that were the case. If only so I wouldn't have to deal with these non-wrestling bastards reminding me ever fucking twenty seconds about how it's fake. No shit? (gasp) I never knew! Nonetheless, I'm heavily rooting for Lesnar to mess Frank Mir's shit up, get some revenge and retaing his title. Brock is an intimidating presence without question but people already know pro wrestling is mostly full of massive muscleheads. What he's doing in UFC deserves an applause but I don't believe it will help out WWE in the toughness department so this bad boy is FICTION. UFC 100 is gonna be off the charts. The card appears gizz worthy on paper. Fuck ordering it on PPV though. Buffalo Wild Wings is the best (aka cheaper) way to go.
Question # 2.) FACT or FICTION: The impending heel turn for CM Punk is what will fully solidify his spot as a full time main eventer.
Uncle Joe: As much as I hate to admit this, this is FACT. The guy’s been getting an excellent slow burn type of push, and he’s been making the most of it. While I’m not a fan of his in ring work, he has an obvious charisma and pretty good at the intangibles, which is something you can’t teach for the most part. I’m sure the E’ will miss the money he’s been making them in regards to merchandise, but someone will step up; they always do.
MyLeeCyrus:Fact. CM Punk is, in a lot of minds, a main eventer already, but from what we've seen so far in his slow burn turn, he's only going to get better. As long as they don't turn him into a carbon copy of Edge, and allow him to show signs of bravery, he's just gonna keep rising until he, not Jericho or Edge, becomes the number one heel on the blue brand.
Slap:FICTION - the guy is an annoying dildo. Emo tats and a straight edge gimmick does not equal a draw in this day and age. The only way the piddly little twat could ever get over is if he ditched the straight edge gimmick, juiced hard to bulk up fast, and started drinking alcohol and doing crystal meth in his promos. Why the knob keeps getting pushes if fucking beyond me. Spike Dudley and Steven Richards had more cred.
Super Chrisss: When CM Punk cashed in Money in the Bank last year and became World Heavyweight Champ, I was sure he had hit the big-time. Four months later, after arguably one of the worst World Title runs in recent history, I turned out to be wrong. Sue me. THIS YEAR is going to be Punk's year, no doubt about it. With guys like Cena, Jeff Hardy, and Triple H on the roster, Punk isn't close to being considered the top babyface on any brand on the moment. However, now that Edge is injured and the munchkins are in love with Hardy at the moment, now is the perfect time for Punk to go heel. He's been a face his entire WWE career, and his current tweener role is intriguing to say the least.
Should WWE pull the KillSwitch (pooey name by the way) and turn Punk 100% heel, he'll more than likely replace Edge as one of the main faces of Smackdown! and with so few main-eventers ready for action on the blue brand, it's now or never for Punk. FACT FACT FACT!!!
Skitz: I'm trying to not let the shaky booking of Cookie Monster's World Heavyweight Championship reign summer play a factor but it's difficult. Knowing WWE, its' not like them to make the same mistake twice... at least not when the instances are so close together. I'll take the bait here and say FACT. The company seems to have learned from their blunders in 2008 and really built Punk up well thus far. It's obvious a good bit of work has been put into this inevitable heel turn and that's usually a good sign for what's to come in the near future. Cookie Monster is on top of SmackDown right now and if WWE management have any sense, they'll ride the shit until the wheels fall off. Hell I would. Punk's translated into must-see television ever since cashing in his MITB opportunity at Extreme Rules.
Question # 3.) FACT or FICTION: TNA wrestling will not survive another decade in the wrestling business.
Uncle Joe:Fact. Or Fiction. Better question is…who cares?
MyLeeCyrus:Fact. How can it? It hasn't got enough of a fanbase to grow as fast as it needs to, the bookers are only pushing people over the age of 40, the six-sided ring is a flawed gimmick, they come up with some ridiculous stipulation matches and they're rehashing old storyline after old storyline. Sorry, TNA, but the only good things on your show right now are Mick Foley and Kip James, and while that's enough to keep me watching, I don't think I can say the same for the rest of the wresting public.
Slap:FACT - They would have gone under already in this shit economy if they were going to tank. TNA has no where to go but up. I love how they blatantly stick the main event mafia in the "smarks" faces and run with the gimmick that the "originals" or home grown talent or whatever will never shine. Russo rocks. I get a red rocket every time I see that high flying pole smoker AJ Styles get held back, same with Daniels.
Super Chrisss: This is the hardest question to answer, so maybe I won't answer...
...Ugh I guess I have to respond. I'm going to say FACT but very reluctantly. Many people in the IWC are calling TNA the new WCW, but I don't agree. Sure, the Main Event Mafia are a pretty good rip-off of the New World Order, and it seems that TNA is struggling at the moment, but don't think they're as bad-off as some say they are.
WCW feuded with the WWE for about six years before going out of business, while WWE has yet to consider TNA as a serious threat, and why should they? WWE's flagship show averages at least a 3.5 rating on a weekly basis, while TNA's only show has yet to do above a 1.3 rating in their seven-year existence. Let's not even compare how many buys each company's pay-per-views brigns in!
Unless TNA does something REALLY stupid such as firing their entire X-Division in favour of giving the MEM more television time, or if the only men to ever win the TNA World Title were once employed by the WWE, or by choosing to go head-to-head with RAW, TNA should be able to survive the decade. But I'm not holding my breath.
Skitz:FACT.
Those fuckwads in Orlando will be lucky to last another year. Dixie Carter needs to stop failing miserably at running TNA and just enter the porn industry already. It's the only way anyone involved with that piss poor company can make something of their careers over the next 5-10 years.
Question # 4.) FACT or FICTION: ROH must get a better television deal before they will ever be able to crossover into the mainstream.
Uncle Joe:Fiction. ROH is almost an extreme niche product, in an already extremely niche business, so I think as a business, they peaked a year or two ago, when they were able to fly in all these people from NOAH and Dragon Gate on a regular basis. Back at that stage in the game, I think they should have realized that their business model was the best way to go about things and be satisfied with that. I give them…eh about 5 more years.
MyLeeCyrus:Fact. As someone who only really watches mainstream wrestling, I've never seen a single ROH match. I've heard a lot about them and their wrestling abilities, but I've also heard that it comes with a lack of storyline and character. ROH seems, to me, to be the Bad Religion to WWE's Green Day; a lot more technical ability, a lot less success.
Slap:FICTION - ROH will always be shit. ROH is the fugly fat chick you take home at bar close. No one watches wrestling to see wrestling anymore. They want storylines and gimmicks and Scott Hall like promos. Spot monkeys and guys who blade themselves nearly to death for a cheap ass pop are destined to live under a bridge on the wayside.
Super Chrisss: I don't follow ROH, but I do read the headlines and the show results - sometimes. While I do think landing a better television deal similar to TNA's previous one would earn them alot more exposure, I still think the company isn't ready to hit the mainstream just yet. If we were in 2012, this might be fact, but this is 2009, so this is FICTION!
Skitz: Nice FACTOID, Monkey Man. I have only watched a handful of ROH matches online but the talent and entertainment is there. All it takes is one shit stain TV station to pick up the promotion and they're set. Hopefully, they don't make similar mistakes to that of TNA and the original ECW. If Ring of Honor sticks to what brought them to the game, it won't be long before the ratings begin to climb. If they ever do receive a television deal, is it possible for them to one day threaten Vinnie Mac WWE? Yes but the chances of that happening are extremely slim. All I know for sure is DVDs and pay per views are great but without weekly mainstream exposure, ROH is a boat without a paddle basically.
Question # 5.) FACT or FICTION: If Jeff Hardy walks away from the WWE again, he'll never wear the WWE title again.
Uncle Joe: Hm, this is a tough one. I want to say FACT, but I think it’s FICTION. As long as he’s able to put on the matches that he’s been having since he’s came back, and getting the reaction he’s been getting and selling the merch he’s been selling, I’m sure he’ll be back on the mountain top. Regardless of whether or not he gets the belt, I have to give credit where’s it due and giving props to Jeff for not giving a fuck whether or not if he gets a push, and putting his health, body and family first then the business. Hopefully we won’t hear the same shit we here when people try and hate on Mr. Johnson.
MyLeeCyrus: Hmm... This is a tricky one, but I'll go with my first Fiction. Jeff may well end up leaving again, but this time it will be a perfectly legitimate "my contract is finished, I don't wanna renew it right now". That doesn't mean they're ending on negative terms, nothing of the sort! I think the door will be open for Jeff to return when he's ready, and I don't think it'll hold him back if and when he does return.
Slap:FACT - Vince's ego is too big and the little jizzball has been given more chances than anyone else I can think of. He should just ask for some time off and/or a limited schedule. If he does take off for a year or two he'll probably die from licking toads to get high in his backyard swamp in NC.
Super Chrisss: This is another toughy. First off, we're not even sure if he's leaving or not. If Hardy does walk the walk, we don't know how long he'll be gone or when he'll return. When he does return, what will the WWE roster be like? Will SuperCena, SuperH, and SuperBoringBatista still be main eventing every show? Or will guys like Punk, Morrison, Legacy, and Henry (joke) be the new top dogs? If the latter was the case, I'm sure Hardy would be given at least one lengthy title run, but again, it all depends on when he comes back and who's doing the main-eventing.
It's too hard to call this one, but I'm going to say FICTION, simply because I don't think the guy deserves another World Title run, whether it be five months or five minutes! Sorry Jeffrey.
Question # 6.) FACT or FICTION: In terms of storylines, wrestling is not best suited for a pay-per-view every month.
Uncle Joe: FACT. 8 Pay per views a month would be the best, in my opinion.
MyLeeCyrus:Fact. I don't think they need much more than a month to build storylines, particularly with the amount of television coverage WWE gets, but every 6 weeks or so would be absolutely fine. Arguably, it wouldn't cause them to lose money either, as you're more likely to get the fans buying every single one instead of skipping some of the lesser ones, such as Night of Champions.
Slap:FICTION - having a ppv every month is fine, though having a raw ppv one month and a smackdown ppv the other was a better suit. Current creative team in WWE is a fucking joke. Storylines are at their worst ever. Vince will never realize this and tell his daughter to step down though so nothing will change.
Super Chrisss: I may be the odd one out on this one, but I'm going to say FACT. Many people will argue that seeing the same feuds last too long is boring beyond belief, but I think it all depends on the booking and the superstars involved. Example: Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho's feud has been a popular favorite as of late, as the storyline is intriguing and each of their matches have been above average or better. Therefore, having both men go at it on pay-per-view every other month rather than every three weeks will not only prolong the feud, but finally seeing them wrestle one-on-one will be extra special for the fans.
Due to WWE's abundance of PPV's, many potential 'money-maker' feuds have been rushed and never got to really shine such as Cena/Miz, Dreamer/Christian or even Hardy/Hardy. Rather, the feuds that did continue such as HHH/Orton and Cena/Show seemed to go on and on and on...
Vince, cancel Cyber Sunday, The Bash, No Way Out, maybe one more, and you'll make me one happy boy AND save my wallet a couple of hundred dollars. Just don't book an Orton/HHH re-match for SummerSlam neither. Please?
Bonus Round
Question # 1.) John Morrison vs the Miz: Which one has the brighter future? Explain your answer.
Uncle Joe: Ok, this is going to sound ludicrous, but the Miz, and this isn’t even a question. John Morrison is the most overrated wrestler on the entire roster, and I stand by it. His forearm strikes are on a Diva level, he’s uncharismatic, and he’s not actually wrestling. The guy can’t string along two moves; he’ll hit you with a springboard super kick and then put you in a somersault full nelson. He’s more of a gymnast than anything (credit to Mike). And I’ve been saying this before once upon a time, and I want to say it again; if it wasn’t for the WWE needing a scapegoat, Joey Mercury would have went on to be the more successful one out of MnM, because the dude knows how to put on a match, and grasps psychology. The Miz. . . the Miz. Where do I start? I’ve been tooting this guy’s horn since he had his own blurb in WWE magazine about what it was like going from the Kentucky wrestling scene to OVW, and I’ve still been on his fan wagon. He can obviously cut a promo, be it about Cena or even other heels. He’s a bit green at this stage, but that’s nothing that more in ring time won’t fix. He could also stand to fix his look a bit, but at least we know he isn’t a walking mixture of creatine and horse steroid. Plus, the guy just has passion for this shit, and how can you hate on that? He dropped out of Ohio State University to join the Real World, in hopes that his exposure there would *gasp* help him getting his foot in the world of pro wrestling. Watch the Real World or Road Rule/Real World challenges; this dude was always in character, cutting promos at every shot. To see the Miz is to watch the Miz, and to know the Miz is to be the Miz. And the Miz is awesome.
MyLeeCyrus: John Morrison. Whilst The Miz is fantastic on the microphone, he can't do enough in the ring, and although that could change, I don't see him ever propelling himself to the heights that Morrison can achieve. John Morrison seems to be the man that WWE is pinning their hopes on right now, giving him one crazy strong push, and I believe he'll be a multi-time world champion before The Miz ever gets a shot at the title.
Slap: Both are fags
Super Chrisss: JoMo fo sho, yo! I would marry both guys, but The Miz is only a talker, and talking can only get you so far you know. Morrison on the other hand is the whole package. He's got the moves, the look, the abs, the skills, and even more abs. He's also starting to talk the talk as well. He may not be the next Shawn Michaels but he's damn close. If he isn't main-eventing by the middle of 2010, I'll eat Miz's hat out.
Speaking of the Miz, he'll probably have a decent career, but not amazing like Morrison. Miz will probably win a U.S. title or two, and get a few shots at the World Title, but I still don't see him as the main guy. Still, that's pretty good since we're talking about the same guy who flubbed his lines on WWE television, not once, not twice, but many times.
Uncle Joe: Marry: Cody Rhodes, because he looks like he’s a bottom boy, and I’m definitely not taking it up the ass.
Fuck: Ted DiBiase, same reasons as Cody, but he looks like he can take some pain.
Kill: Orton, because he sucks.
MyLeeCyrus: Hmm... I'd have to have my way with Cody Rhodes; as the most feminine member of Legacy by quite some distance, I'm sure he wouldn't mind bending over for me. I'd marry Ted, 'cause if his father is anything to go by, I wouldn't have to worry about money ever again. Which, sadly for Randrew, means I'm going to kill Mr. Orton. Ah well. Shiv a Git.
Slap: wtf kind of question is this?
Super Chrisss: FUCK: Randy Orton. The sexy beast. He's a lady killer though, not just a legend killer. KILL: Cody Rhodes's face. What's wrong with it? MARRY: Ted DiBiase. Uhhh hello his father is the Million Dollar Man! I'm set for life
Alright folks that's going to wrap things up for this month's Fact or Fiction, though the work is not yet done. You see, this is where you will come in. It is now up to you, the reader, to determine who was the most entertaining and deserves the chance to come back next month to defend their crown. Simply send an email to monkeyweasel9821@yahoo.com with your choice of our five contestants, and the winner will be crowned the first Fact or Fiction champion.
I'd like to take this time to thank the five participants on a job well done (well almost Skitz) and letting me take the glory in the easiest job in the world. Lastly this is Doc Monk reminding you that wrestling is my mistress and I used to love her....but I had to kill her. See you next month.
