LOP on Facebook LOP on Twitter LOP on Google Plus LOP on Youtube LOP's RSS Feed

Home | Headlines | News | Results | Columns | Radio | Forums | Contact

Posted in: Doctor's Orders
Doctor's Orders: January 27, 2013 - When Species Collide
By The Doc
Oct 21, 2012 - 8:07:05 PM

I hear voices...

December 24, 2012

You need to do something important

Christmas time may technically be about Jesus, but when you have kids it’s just as much about presents. I wouldn’t admit that to a deeply religious person; that’s just something that I’ve come to realize this year. My little girl is old enough to enjoy the holiday season and it has made it a lot of fun to see her so excited about the big day. I don’t know if I ever got that hyped about it. Pop says I did, but that’s a memory I don’t have anymore. Memories from when I was a kid have been replaced by headaches and neck pain, among other nagging things.

Wrestlemania is your Christmas. When was the last time you did something noteworthy at Wrestlemania?

I’m going to enjoy these next few days with my family and then get back to work. I do need to do something more important in the coming months. I feel like I’m doing the best in-ring work of my career and I’ve carried Smackdown since Edge left. So, why do I keep getting put on the backburner when we get to “the season”? Summerslam main-events are nice, but they don’t exactly give you the lifestyle of a Wrestlemania championship match. I was in three out of four of those…damn; that seems like a long time ago. I haven’t really done anything since. I had fun with the Punk match, but that was three months shy of him making it big and the office billed the announcer match ahead of us. I get that I’ve been hurt the last two years around this time, but I would figured I’d been here long enough for that not to matter.

Admit it – they don’t think that highly of you, anymore. You’re yesterday’s news

I guess it is time to realize that, for some reason, Vince isn’t too high on me right now. If you get lost in the shuffle at one Wrestlemania, then that’s one thing. Three in a row, though? That’s another story. I need to go back next week with a plan and a goal and show him something. The question is what to show him.

You ought to turn your attention to the television

(“Coming soon…when species collide in the wild…what if a jaguar were to take on a Bengal tiger? What if the African hunting dog were to meet the American timber wolf? How about an eagle vs. a falcon? Or what if the alpha of a lion’s pride were to clash with the python in a battle of mammalian and reptilian supremacy? Would the viper be able to take out the king of the jungle or would the dominant cat get the best of its fellow apex predator?….nine, eight central….National Geographic channel")

Looks interesting…need to remember to set that up to DVR.

“Babe…you ‘bout to put her down?”

“Alright, come get me when after she’s sleeping and we’ll set up. I’m going to watch a little TV.”

It’s a double edged sword being hurt. I get to be here. Not many of the boys can say that about their families this year. Gotta to keep the momentum going, so no year-in-review show. Just another day at the office, instead. Part of me wants to be there. If I’m there on a night like to tonight, then they know I’m committed to being there. At the same time, I’ve earned the right to have a night like this. I’ve been there over ten years.

John’s there…he’s been there for over ten years…

I guess Cena is there. Dude’s a machine, though…and he’s divorced. I guess that could be why he’s divorced. Things aren’t exactly perfect around here these days. It’s hard to keep my head right when all I hear are rumors about getting released. I make money to pay the bills with my contract on the downside alone. I can’t afford to just go somewhere else. That shit is mostly just backstage crap, but the way they’ve used me at ‘the show’ isn’t helping that feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me they’re trying to get rid of me. Being the best sometimes doesn’t matter…I’ve been told that up and down the road for years…but I don’t want to sit back and just watch it happen. I know I’ve got a helluva lot more to offer.

You should check out the TV again…

Well, I’ll be damned…


(“At the Royal Rumble, witness the return of ‘The Beast.’ The King of the Fighting World is back. Log onto WWE.COM for information on how to order. Only on Pay-Per-View, Sunday, January 27th at 8PM”)

You should flip to that National Geographic special. That should get the gears turning

“Alright, babe, I’ll be there in a minute!”

Let’s see what that Nat Geo thing looks like real quick.

If you want to get stuck saying your name on TV every week to promote your Mania match again, then you go play Santa. You go put on your fat red suit and eat some cookies. Everyone in that locker room is coming up with ways to get in the ring with that guy. If you don’t get your act together and see what’s right there in front of you, then you deserve to get released…


“Hey, Vince; it’s Randy. I’m flying out to meet you tomorrow night. We need to talk; I have an idea.”

That a boy…

January 27, 2013

Alright, store it in the back of your tights so that nobody can see it. The element of surprise is yours, but remember how quick this guy is. You’ll only get a few seconds before he’ll switch gears and break your arm. The goal is to catch him off-guard and leave no other option for him but to accept your offer

I always forget how much I miss hearing my music play. There’s nothing else like that on this earth. Harley taught me that there wasn’t a better place than under these lights – no better sound than that crowd reacting to your every move. They obviously weren’t expecting to see me. I guess the one advantage of not being as relevant at this time of the year lately is that I can sneak up on people. Hopefully, not after this. Damn it, this is it for me. I’m all in. If this doesn’t work, then I’m not sure my career will ever be the same.

It’ll work

But it will work. MY idea will work. Vince was right to say that we ought to use the youngest World Heavyweight Champion vs. youngest WWE Champion tagline to get people excited, but that wouldn’t be good enough for them to get really interested. I want this to be the fight that gets me back in position to being the guy that they’re building Mania around. They sit back there and talk about what they’re going to get going for Punk and Cena and Rock and Taker and Hunter. What about me? Hey, I get it. It’s about drawing money and delivering and I haven’t done that up to the standard that they hold me. I’m good with that. I can accept that. I can’t accept that as my future, but I can as my past.

Don’t slide under the ropes. Use the steps. Don’t let him see your back

Looks like Brock is surprised to see me, too.


There ya go, Brock. Don’t say a word. Just follow my lead and let them do the talking. We don’t need words, you and I. That’s it. Drop the microphone. Ignore Cole.

Hand him the contract

First step, catch him by surprise with an offer. He signed Vince’s contract…now, it’s time to present him with another.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar…Wrestlemania XXIX.

I’m not going to sit here and blow smoke up anyone’s ass. I know I’m probably not the first guy on Brock’s list of guys he thinks he can make a lot of money with. That’s why I had to do this tonight, though. Brock coming back to the WWE is getting a lot of media coverage, so I’ve got to get the jump on everyone – show him that he can make just as much money facing me as he can anyone else. I can give him a fight like no one else in this business. All due respect to John, but he’s not a fighter. Great at what he does? Absolutely, but nobody is buying Cena as a legit threat to someone like Brock. And Taker? Guy is pushing fifty, now. No matter the mystique and all that; he’s just not gonna be able to hang with Brock. I’m younger than Brock, just as fast and twice as smart.

I heard some talk of a few of the guys making their move tomorrow night. Let’s end that right now. There’s no need for that. Brock…is…mine.

Don’t worry – we didn’t think that Brock was just going to immediately agree to a match at Mania with you. He needs to be given a reason. You’re about to give him one.

He tossed the contract down at my feet. Perfect. I think I’ll kick it back in his direction…

…He didn’t like that much. It’s pretty loud in here, by the way. Every step he takes in my direction and every step I take in his, they’re getting louder. It’s actually making my insides shake. That’s a good feeling. This is going to be the start of the rest of my professional life, right here.

Face to face, now. Remember to steer clear of his submissions. Slip out quick if he tries. Hopefully, he sticks to the brawling.

Just absorb these body blows. Wipe the blood off your brow. You got choked out the last time you were in this ring. Use that as motivation. Think about your family. Think about your little girl. Take what he dishes out and then counter with your weapon. Ignore the pain in your lower back from that object jabbing you in the spine. You’ll get over that quick. That’s not a lasting injury. It’s just like that Nat Geo documentary… “The lion doesn’t know he should be worried. The viper is diminutive by comparison, so the lion assumes he has the advantage. As it keeps pawing at the snake, it fails to realize that it’s only opening itself up to a venomous bite. The viper’s greatest strength is its intelligence. It cannot match the size and strength of the lion, yet it can outsmart the jungle’s king. The more the lion toys with the snake, the further exposed are its weaknesses. Just as the lion meets the eyes of the viper, the cobra unleashes its venom. It finds its mark, blinding the lion and sending the cat into retreat. No definitive victor has emerged on this day, but they will meet again in the future.”

Brock Lesnar is the most physically imposing guy I’ve ever stepped in the ring with, but I don’t think he’s that smart. He surrounds himself with smart people, but he’s not the smart one. I’ll be sure to tell him that in the next few weeks. The more I keep him mentally off balance, the better off that I’ll be. Tonight, though, he was dumb to think that I would come out and challenge him unprepared. I’m not going to have a mixed martial arts match with him – that’s his game and he proved his worth in that arena.

You know that saying that you shouldn’t bring a knife to a gun fight? Well, Brock’s fists were no match for my lead pipe. I went back a month ago and watched the first time that Hunter brought out his sledgehammer. He wasn’t the wrestler that I am, but he was smart enough to find himself a great equalizer and make sure to always have it close by. I know that better than anyone. Well, I think the lead pipe might be my weapon. It plays right into my psychology. The snake can spit its venom; I’ll take this pipe and beat the hell out of anyone that tries to take what’s mine. What’s mine this spring will be a victory over Brock and all the money (and future money that comes with it.

Well done. You embarrassed him on his first night back. You’re the bloody one and that’s sure to be shown on the networks, but you got the best of him. Don’t worry…he’ll sign-up for the match, now

There you go, camera guy. You go take that contract up to Brock.

Alright, Brock…all there is to do now is just sign the damn thing. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. It’s not going to get any louder in here. You’re not going to get any madder at me. I made you look like a chump tonight, bitch. Sign it. C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!

Do it….

Sign it…..

Damn it, sign it!!

OK. There you go. Signed, sealed, delivered. Your ass is mine, Brock.

Christmas came late for your wife. You can go buy her a car tomorrow. The next day, you can get your ass in the gym and start training. That guy could destroy you….

Not if I destroy him first…

  • Doctor’s Orders: The Great Irony of My Wrestling Fandom

  • Doctor's Orders: Polarizing Strowman Comedy, The 3-Hour Advantage, & Other Monday Night Raw Thoughts

  • Doctor's Orders: The Evolving Legacy of The Shield

  • Doctor's Orders: The Women's Division Is Back In A Groove, And I Want To Walk With Elias...

  • Doctor's Orders: The Notorious BRRRAAAAUUNNN (Competition Column) (plus 205 Live is Back in My Viewership Rotation)

  • Doctor's Orders: John Cena Teases Again, Evolutionary Progression, Roman's Quieter Rise (plus Royal Rumble 2018 Best January Classic in Years & NXT Takeover: Philly Review)

  • Doctor's Orders: The Few Things I Liked From A Nostalgia-Heavy RAW 25; plus Matthews 3:16 Says Stone Cold Steve Austin Sucks (Competition Column)

  • Doctor's Orders: Reclaiming The Curb Stomp, Rebuilding Strowman, and Restoring Glorious Relevance; Plus, Professional Commentary on Daniel Bryan Returning to the Ring

  • Doctor's Notes...On Raw's Path to ROYAL RUMBLE, Namely Jason Jordan & Balor Club, Plus The One Praiseworthy Thing on Smackdown Live

  • Doctor's Notes...On The Ten Best Matches at Royal Rumble This Decade & The Awesome Double Main-Event at NJPW's WrestleKingdom 12