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Posted in: The Crow's Nest
The Crow's Nest - iMPACT Review: New World Champion? You'd Think I'd Be More Excited...
By TheCrow
Nov 4, 2011 - 10:05:49 PM


1) iMPACT Wrestling Review

1) iMPACT Wrestling Review

Yes, you're seeing this correctly. Yours truly has returned after a brief absence from column writing. I've been pretty under the weather lately and have had to deal with an intense workload from school on top of that, so I just haven't had the time. But I'm back now, so go ahead and wipe those tears away kiddies. But instead of wasting more of your precious time, let's dive into tonight's column shall we? It's time for iMPACT!


Segment 1: James Storm (In-Ring)

I've gotta say, giving Storm and Roode their own theme music is a great way to really get them over as singles competitors. You wouldn't think something as small as theme music could do that, but it forces the fans to think about both men as individuals rather than "one half of Beer Money".
I'm always shocked by the idiots in the crowd that hold up WWE title belts on iMPACT TV. Rather I should say that I'm shocked the idiot cameramen at TNA allow that kind of thing to happen every single week. They look nothing like the TNA belts and are pretty obviously from WWE. Stop it. Now.
Roode's new theme makes it seem pretty clear that he'll soon become the heel in this title feud. It just screams "bad guy" to me. This I am excited for.
It's actually kind of saddening that this segment isn't getting the kind of pop it usually would. One has to wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that TNA has already taped a couple of shows worth of material at this point and the crowd is simply just tired.
Again. Two people, front row, BOTH holding replica World Heavyweight Championship belts. They don't look like TNA belts, and given that this is a TNA show they shouldn't be allowed on camera. If I had front row tickets to a WWE show and started holding up a replica X-Division title do you really think it would take longer than 5 minutes for security to make me stop?

Segment 2: Eric Young, Ronnie (Jersey Shore) (Backstage)

Confession time folks. Jersey Shore is one of my guilty pleasure shows, so I'm stoked to see Ronnie on the show. This guy's a beast, but I'm curious to see what he can do in the ring against opponents who aren't so likely to ram their own heads into walls (if you watch the show, you'll understand).

Match 1: TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne VS Tara & Brooke Tessmacher

Gail Kim is already getting solid heel pops from the crowd, and she's been back with the company less than a month. She's long been one of my favourites in the industry, so it's good to see. I really don't see this match ending well for the current champions and I'll tell you why. These titles are almost NEVER defended, but when they are they usually change hands. Adding that to Kim's quick push since her return and I would bet money on a title change tonight. Sorry ladies.
Hey Mike Tenay, we KNOW that Ronnie is going to be here because we already saw him backstage. How about commentating on the match going on in front of you?
It's nice to see some matching outfits in this tag match. If TNA really wants the fans to take these tag titles seriously it would behoove them to create some actual teams. Step one is making them look like a team, and both sides have that covered tonight.
I would pay money for a stink-face from Miss Tessmacher, just sayin'.
Nice to hear the announcers actually make reference to Kim's past run in the company. Most of the fans probably know who she is, but it never hurts to remind them just how much she did for the Knockouts division back in the day.
And just like that, Gail Kim is once again a champion in TNA. Time to show WWE how badly they missed the boat with yet another female talent.

Result: NEW TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne (5:04)

Segment 3: Garrett Bischoff (Backstage)

And just because we needed yet another example of how bad Eric Bischoff is for TNA, we're now getting a feud between him and his son. What did I do to deserve this?

Segment 4: Garrett Bischoff (In-Ring)

Back from commercial, and I have to see this idiot stumble through a promo even more. You know what this warrants? A little something inspired by a gimmick Hustle uses in his running diaries from time to time.

Click Here

As if we expected anything different, Garrett sucker punches his dad and Bischoff's lackeys run down to the ring to make the save. This feud is going to be the death of me.

Segment 5: Samoa Joe, Sting (Backstage)

I really thought for a second there that Joe was sucking up to Sting. Thank god he made up for it and threatened to kill someone if he wasn't treated with a little respect.
Dear ****ing lord, why in the hell is Bischoff in another segment? He just wanted to let us know that he can't be fired. Oh and he also wants a match against his son, and he's willing to let Sting re-write his (Bischoff's) contract if he loses. What in the hell did I do to deserve this? You know what?

Click Here

Segment 6: Christopher Daniels (Backstage)

As nice as it is to see Daniels developing some sort of relevant character again, I really hope we're done with "Daniels vs. Styles". It's overdone and we've been told multiple times now that they've wrestled their last match against each other. It's time to let it die and move on to something different.
As should be expected in any backstage segment, the second Daniels drops RVD's name and trashes him, RVD appears behind him. Looks like this is his new feud.
I think Daniels is screaming more than Kelly Kelly in this fight, jeeze.
All kidding aside though, this is actually a feud that interests me. Two vets, both with a more exciting wrestling style. Done properly this could be a money feud.

Match 2: Jesse Sorensen VS Austin Aries

This match is going to more than make up for the last couple of segments. Aries is amazing and all, but I really believe Sorensen is going to be the next big star that TNA produces. He's got a good look, he's got solid in-ring skills, now all he needs to do is be allowed to create a personality for himself and he's golden. Hell, he's already over with the fans so it shouldn't take long.
Kash is out to join in on commentary and is really playing up his heel-ness. "I'm a veteran in this business. When you see me backstage you drop your bags and shake my hand". I've gotta wonder if that's a veiled shot at veterans who have legitimately made this complaint before
Alright Kash, it's time to shut up. If you're going to be out on commentary at least make an effort to call the match. Tenay and Taz are bad enough as it is, we don't need someone out there making it even worse. You're missing a solid match right now guys.
Aries is absolutely the master of playing the crowd with nothing more than facial expressions. One little smirk and a chorus of boos erupts from the audience.
I really did not see that coming. Sorensen gets the surprise win over the champ. Looks like someone might be in line for a title shot in the near future.

Result: Jesse Sorensen wins via pinfall (4:48)

Segment 7: Robbie E., Rob Terry, Eric Young, Ronnie (In-Ring)

"Robbie T." is an absolute beast of a man. As much as I'd prefer to see him as a part of The British Invasion, at least he's getting on TV with this gimmick. He pulls off the "Jersey Shore douchebag" look pretty well too I must say.
Ronnie already has his own theme music? I guess that makes sense. I mean it's not like he's coming out with one of TNA's champions or anything. Wait, he is coming out with a champion? Well now I'm just confused.
Ronnie actually looks tiny next to Rob Terry, and that frightens the hell out of me. I don't want to meet Terry in a dark alley, ever.
Jesus, he even looks small next to EY. Either Ronnie isn't nearly as big as I thought he was, or EY is a lot bigger than I thought he was. I'm tempted to go with the latter, but this is still a shock either way.
Robbie E. must have watched a different season of Jersey Shore than I did, because if memory serves I'm pretty sure "The Situation" was the one who ended up in the hospital after the encounter with Ronnie. Granted it was because he tried to break a cement wall with his skull, but still.
Okay now this I did not expect. Ronnie's in there taking that beating like a man. Maybe this dude's got what it takes to be in this industry? Hell, team him up with Jessie Godderz from Big Brother (who is in TNA "developmental") and have a reality show faction. I'd watch it.
As expected, we've got a match coming up next week matching Robbie E. and "Robbie T." against Ronnie and EY. It should be a fun match regardless of whether or not Ronnie turns out to have any actual skills.

Match 3: Bully Ray & Jeff Jarrett VS Ken Anderson & Jeff Hardy

It saddens me to think that I had to include Anderson on my list of guys I would release from TNA if I was in charge, but I can't take it back. Regardless of the reaction he gets from the crowd, it's not enough to warrant keeping him around if he's not going to put the effort in.
Speaking of great crowd reactions, this crowd is in love with Jeff Hardy tonight. That didn't take long. It's amazing to see what Hardy can do when he really puts 100% into it, and I'm excited for this run of his.
Jeff's back to wearing the long-sleeved spandex shirts again apparently. I wonder if he's a little out of shape or something, because this is the same thing he did when he returned to WWE a few years back before he lost that extra weight.
If Jeff is actually out of shape, you wouldn't know it from how he's performed in this match so far. He really looks like he's giving it his all.
Wow, did Bully Ray really just call Hardy a "freakin' drug addict" on TV? I know it's far from a secret that Jeff has a history of drug problems, but if TNA wants to build him up as a new and improved version of himself they should probably put less emphasis on the whole drug thing. It was only necessary when he was seeking redemption from his colleagues, it's time for Jeff to move forward and just be allowed to perform.
Poetry in Motion just isn't the same without Matt.
Damn you Scott Steiner. Seeing a dual Swanton Bomb would have been a pretty cool spot in this match, but you had to go ahead and ruin it didn't you.

Result: No Contest (4:56)

I'm curious as to whether or not Hardy and Anderson are going to pick up a third guy to battle Immortal or if they're just gonna have Hardy overcome the odds on his own. Either way, welcome back to professional wrestling Jeff. I've missed you.

Segment 8: Sting, Garrett Bischoff (Backstage)

Oh for the love of… Really? Garrett Bischoff again?
As expected, Garrett accepts his father's challenge. Looks like we'll be seeing what he can do in the ring next week. As much as I would love to see Eric get written off TV as a result of Sting re-writing his contract, I just don't see it happening. But I'm wishing for it nonetheless.

Segment 9: Matt Morgan, Crimson (In-Ring)

I'm far from Crimson's biggest fans, but even I can admit to his improvement, however slow I might think it is. Working a program with a guy like Matt Morgan is the kind of thing that could keep that momentum going.
I seriously doubt that Morgan is receiving hundreds of tweets a day asking him when he's going to face Crimson in a match. But I can't disagree with him saying that he's the "top big man in the industry today". No one else his size can touch what he does.
Crimson don't lie to me. The only people blowing up your twitter are haters and people trying to kiss your ass by saying they bought your t-shirt. I know because I follow you on Twitter and you've never once re-tweeted any message relating to this feud.
Looks like we might be getting a Crimson heel turn by the time this match happens. Some might call it confidence, but I call what he just did blatant disrespect towards his superior. As good as Morgan is as a heel, he's too over right now to risk a turn. Crimson is starting to gain momentum with the fans, but he still needs to develop a personality before he'll really make it. I could see him pulling off the cocky heel successfully, \especially with this undefeated streak going on.

Match 4: TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Bobby Roode VS James Storm

I'm going to say something that's going to shock some of you. I do NOT want Roode to win the title tonight. He should have won it at Bound For Glory, but since that didn't end up happening he should at least win it at another PPV. Plus what does it say about Storm if he loses in his very first title defence less than a month after winning the belt? There is absolutely no benefit to Roode winning tonight, and you have no idea how much that hurts me to say.
Is Roode actually getting booed right now? Looks like that heel turn might be more likely/effective than I thought.
Both Storm and Roode are doing a great job of playing up that whole "we know each other so well" shtick in the ring by constantly countering each others' moves. Even the announcers are doing their job in playing it up which is a nice change of pace for them tonight.
You know what the new goal of every pro wrestler should be if they want to be a true legend? To have a catchphrase shouted out every time a move is hit. Regardless of the damage that Ric Flair has done to his legacy by not retiring yet, the fact that people still scream "WOOOO!" every time someone is hit with a chop is amongst the highest of compliments the fans can pay the man. Same goes for Stone Cold's "What?!" thing, although that one's slightly more annoying.
This really should be a PPV match. Both of these men are great talents on their own, but this is two matches in a row that they've faced each other and absolutely stolen the show. If this somehow doesn't turn into a long feud over the title I'm going to be very disappointed in TNA. Talk about potentially missing the boat…
I know from experience just how hard it is to fight a close friend for a championship. When I was wrestling in high school there were a couple of tournaments where I had to beat a friend of mine for the gold medal and it made the match that much harder to compete in. These guys are doing a phenomenal job of selling that emotion in this match and it's helping the match quality immensely.
I usually hate when the TNA crowd chants "THIS IS WRESTLING!", but in this case I really can't disagree. This is one of the best matches TNA has aired in some time now.
Damnit, a ref bump in a title match is never a good thing for the champion. Especially when the challenger is eyeing a weapon. Well, looks like we have a new heel champion folks.
Sure enough Roode smashes a beer bottle over Storm's head and the ref turns around JUST too late to see it. New champion, and I'm surprisingly unhappy about this.

Result: NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode (13:18)


Match of the Night: Bobby Roode VS James Storm

Come on, did you expect anything else? This match was easily one of the best that TNA has put on in a while, and it probably would have creeped up to a 4.5 instead of a 4 if it weren't for the cheap ending. Other than that though, it was one of those matches where I was on the edge of my seat for a good portion of it.

Superstar of the Night: Bobby Roode

It was either going to be him or Storm, but Roode won it in the end. In the span of 30 seconds he managed to fully turn heel and get the crowd against him. Granted he wasn't the favourite going into the match anyways, but for selling it like he did and for wrestling the match that he did, Roode deserves this nod tonight.

Asshole of the Night: Garrett Bischoff

I don't give a shit WHO your dad is. If you can't cut a promo without fumbling almost every single line and making both yourself and your company look like idiots, you shouldn't be on TV. The only reason this kid isn't still officiating the indy circuit is because of his daddy, and I swear to god if this nepotism causes even more harm to TNA I'm going to hunt down Eric myself. I'm already sick of him, I don't need his stupid kid making me hate the family even more. #****YouBischoffs.


I'm glad that I chose this iMPACT to return from my absence because it was actually a really good show. Like any episode of any wrestling show it did have it's low points, but the good in the show was good enough to make up for it. But like I said in the column, Roode should not have won the title tonight.

I've been saying Roode should be champion for ages now, but I also said that it has to be done right. What did tonight's title victory really accomplish? Sure he's the World Champion now, and sure he's already established himself as a heel, but when you look at the negatives of this situation that's when it becomes glaringly obvious that Storm should have retained. James Storm only won the title 2 weeks ago and he lost it in his very first defence? It just makes Storm look extremely weak, and it makes TNA look stupid because they should have just given Roode the title at Bound For Glory if they planned to give it to him a few weeks later anyways. While this feud could still be fantastic, so much of its potential is already lost. If Roode had won the title at the PPV, he could have at least turned heel by cheating to retain the belt in a title match with Storm. Same end result, only without the stupid booking decisions.

Or if TNA really wanted Storm to win the title, they could have had things go the way they did up until the #1 Contenders match from last week between Samoa Joe and Bobby Roode. If that's really the route they wanted to go, Joe should have won the match and received the title shot this week. To keep the Roode heel turn alive in this scenario is just as simple. Have him run out during the match and look like he's going to help Storm only to smash the bottle on his head and cause the DQ. Storm retains, Roode turns heel, and Joe still gets his higher profile match. It's not my preferred option, but this would have worked better than what we got instead.

I love that Roode is champion, I'm just not crazy about how it happened. I really hope TNA does this feud right, because it's a damn gold mine.


Soundtrack From the Nest

I know I just posted a Skillet video in another recent column, but I'm really into these guys again. I've actually covered this song before with some musicians I used to play with, so it holds a special place in my heart. Yet another fun song to rock out to from Skillet. Check it out. I promise next time it won't be a Skillet song in my column.

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