Posted in: CPR Productions Oh Come All Ye Faithful (RTT Advent Calendar) Days 1-6
Dec 6, 2012 - 10:47:59 AM
Writers Note: ‘Sup, Lords of Pain. Today’s is December 1st and as I drove around the countryside on a sunny but chilly day that Christmas feeling began to sink in. One of my favourite things in the lead up to Christmas when I was a kid was the advent calendar. My eldest son has a Lego one this year. I didn’t even have chocolate ones when I was really little but I digress. So I thought it would be fun to bring a sort of advent calendar to LOP. I am sure you will work out what’s happening as it goes along so without further ado I bring you...
OH COME ALL YE FAITHFUL: THE ADVENT CALENDAR
Rounding out the first quarter of this list is none other than Victoria. She certainly isn’t the most conventionally attractive woman to lace up a pair of boots in the WWE but she is no moose either. Like Sherri and Mickie James before her, she makes the list thanks to the hotness of her unhinged character. On top of that she has always come across as extremely likeable and is packing the power to really take control of a guy without looking like a guy.
In the ring she is one of my favourite female performers of all times. On day one I called Lita the Savage to Trish’s Hogan, but Victoria could also claim that role (circa 89). Her skill in the ring really help put over face divas who only had a small percentage of her talent. It’s a damn shame WWE gave up on using her properly but I guess their loss is TNA’s gain in that respect. I do hope she comes back before she hangs up her boots though.
TIS THE SEASON
Today’s song is cheese personified. Anyone around my age can’t help but associate Christmas with Cliff Richard. For what seemed like years, the guy would have a festive record out that was odds on to be Christmas number one and they were all pretty terrible. They get imprinted in your head and for me, none did so more than Mistletoe and Wine.
And that is one quarter of the advent calendar done. I’ll be back tomorrow as we start to zone in on the halfway mark. You can let me know any comments you have below or hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP Peace!
A sure fire butterface but I’d love to come face-to-face with that butt. The “other one” from Extreme Expose has a phenomenal body that you could watch all day. I honestly don’t know too much about Brooke. She certainly didn’t get anywhere near the success in the WWE as her dance partners Layla and Kelly but I do understand she is doing pretty well for herself in TNA. Good luck to her is what I say. She may have a hot bod but even that isn’t going to make me tune into Impact.
TIS THE SEASON
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a bit of Stevie Wonder. Hell, no month would be right without a bit of Stevie Wonder. My favourite festive Stevie song is actually his rendition of Ave Maria but despite finding itself on many a Chrimbo album, it is not one that I actually class as a Christmas song. What Christmas Means to Me is one of the less played seasonal classics and whilst quite a few have had their take on it, nobody does it quite like Stevie.
So there we have it with day 5. If you want a break from ranking chicks, be sure to check out Ranking the Raw Talent which is out now. Today’s question will be more music related. What is your favourite Christmas song? Let me know in the comments below or you can always hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP I shall see you all again tomorrow but until then, peace!
Hot? Maybe not in as a conventional way as most who are going to show up this month but remember that craziness factor I talked about a couple of days ago? Well, Sherri Martel has that in abundance. >>Insert Barney Stinson meme here<<<. Her risque style was in stark contrast to the sophistication portrayed by Miss Elizabeth back in the old days and it really made her stand out that much more. Looking back you would have to believe that she would be able to rock your world with some totally insane shit between the sheets and to say is an intriguing prospect would be understatement of the year.
I absolutely loved her work in the WWF too. She was a phenomenal talker and really seemed to understand and love the business. As a manager she is definitely right up there with the very best (well, the ones below Heenan anyway) and her limit client list is extremely prestigious (DiBiase, Michaels, Savage). If you took all the best qualities from the females in the company today and put them into one divas, Sherri would still top her. The closest equivalent in today’s WWE is Vickie Guerrero and whilst there are definitely some similarities, Sherri is still probably the best all round female in the history of the company.
TIS THE SEASON
We have a last minute change here today as some of my Facebook friends may have guessed. Nothing quite captures the innocence of Christmas like Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer. Nothing is further from the word innocence than DMX. Yet strangely the mix of the two is extremely captivating.
And we are already one sixth of the way through this bad boy. Simple question today. Would you tap Scary Sherri? Let me know in the comments below or you can always hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP Make sure you check out the latest Ranking the Raw Talent which will be out sometime this evening (UK evening) and I will catch you again tomorrow.
Today we have none other than the current Divas Champion. I have never really seen Eve as a standout in the division in terms of attractiveness until recently. She definitely wasn’t horrible to look at or anything but she just blended into the model heavy scene. The only time she ever stood out was when she would come to the ring and “dance” next to R-Truth and that was only because she looked like a spaz. This heel turn though has done wonders for her. A lot of a woman’s attractiveness is in how she carries herself and she has developed a certain swagger (no real American American) that has made me take notice a lot more. She just seems to be oozing that much more sex appeal in 2012.
As I kind of just hinted at, her hotness seems to be linked to how good she is at this whole pro-wrestling malarky. She has improved the in-ring portion of her game without a doubt since WrestleMania but more than that has been just how much better she is at playing her character. Well, when you actually break it down, she isn’t doing anything different at all. As a run of the mill dull diva face, she always came across as phony. As a heel pretending to be a face, that phoniness is what makes her seem perfect. I am not sure if that is by luck or judgment but hey ho, you take a positive in the divas division any way you can.
TIS THE SEASON
Bringing out a successful new Christmas song must be one of the hardest things to achieve in the music business. I mean look how many people have classic singles and albums each year yet those same people bring out Christmas songs that just crash and burn when placed against the classics. John Lennon is one of the few that bucked that trend with this bad boy. It’s a rarity in that it is extremely depressing (not what you want when feeling festive) yet hauntingly beautiful at the same time. Still, wanted to get it out the way earlier so as not to put a dampener on things.
So there we have it, the journey continues. Tomorrow is Tuesday which means I shall be pulling double duty as I bring you Ranking the Raw Talent as well. As for today’s question, this is a WWE based list, who would be the Christmas Eve lady if there was a TNA version? Let me know in the comments below or you can always hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP Catch you tomorrow peeps.
So today we have the Queen of Psycho herself. Now I’ll be honest, whilst Mickie is fap material for much of the IWC, she quickly lost her appeal on me. She makes the list however thanks to her arrival in the WWE as a mentally unstable lesbian. It’s not very often that creative get a female character spot on but that was definitely one of those times. The way her short skirt would flip up as she skipped to the ring mesmerized myself and plenty of other hot blooded wrestling fans. The novelty wore off by the time she was no longer loopy and she just became part of the furniture really (although the Piggy James stuff was pretty harsh). Ah who am I kidding, it was the roast beef that put me off Mickie for good.
In ring she was probably the star of her generation of divas. A lot of that was thanks to the great start she had with the company with Trish Stratus. She had a couple of excellent matches in that feud but she couldn’t quite hit that level again. Hell, nobody in the division did really. Her best shot would have been a long term feud with Melina that could have carried the divas for a couple of years. I seem to remember there being some genuine animosity between them (shocker where Melina is concerned I know!) at the beginning but they always clicked well in the ring. It’s shame really because none of her post-Trish feuds were memorable for me (for the right reasons anyway) despite some very solid work. But at least she will always have the best women’s match in WrestleMania history (so far at least) on her CV, and that is something every divas should strive to beat.
TIS THE SEASON
Today’s song is another classic. In fact it is so classic that it has the simplest of titles, The Christmas Song. Think about that for a second. Over the next month you are going to hear a whole host of different Christmas songs but only this one can claim to be THE Christmas song. The people who have sung the song is a who’s who of the last 60 years of music. I mean it honestly seems like everyone who has ever released a record has done their version of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, but there could only ever be one choice when it comes to who made the song their own.
Two down, twenty-two to go. I guess I will go for another question of the day. Which of the less obvious choices would you like to see pop up on the advent calendar? Let me know in the comments below or you can always hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP I’ll be back again tomorrow so until then, peace and goodwill to all men (and women).
So on day one we get one of the highest profile divas of all time. Back when Amy Dumas burst onto the scene at the start of the new millenium I was at that age where pretty much everything got me horny. The sight of Lita’s T-Back sticking out the top of her trousers got me every single time however. To be honest it was probably a good thing as it helped take focus away from the fact that she was a total butterface (something we will see a few more times in December). So whilst 6 inches of makeup still failed to make her face smooth, she was definitely packing in other departments. Like with most divas, I think the boob job she had was unnecessary and definitely not an improvement but hey, it’s not like her skanky reputation could hurt any more from it.
As a performer on the other hand I have a great deal of respect for her. Her career connections with the Hardys helped her and fortunately she developed Jeff’s ability to excite a crowd rather than Matt’s. She will go down in the history of the business as the Savage to Trish’s Hogan and that is kind of a fitting comparison to me. Trish may have been top dog but Lita was the better worker and had plenty of her own star power. Whether it was in the ring, being the much loved sidekick or the evil ****, she did it extremely well most of the time and she is definitely missed in the business today, as proved by the reaction she got at Raw 1000. So whilst she has plenty of unsavoury baggage around her, I guess you could argue that the end justified the means and as she will go down as one of the greatest ladies in the business.
TIS THE SEASON
And just to get us a little more in the Christmas spirit, I shall be adding a bonus every day in the form a seasonal song. Today’s comes from my favourite festive album of all time, A Christmas Gift for you from Phil Spector (nope, not a gun). Sleigh Ride has had a million and one versions but this extremely upbeat and peppy rendition from The Ronettes is hands down my favourite.
I’ll be back tomorrow as we open the door on day two. Just to generate a bit of conversation though, I’ll take a leaf out of Dr Chad’s book and give you a question of the day. What was Lita’s greatest match in WWE? Let me know in the comments below or you can always hit me up on Twitter at @MazzaLOP Until tomorrow people, peace and love!