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Posted in: Column of the Month
March 2015 CotM: The Bright Side: EC3, America, & Hope (mizfan)
By mizfan
Apr 28, 2015 - 4:04:18 PM

LordsofPain.net is proud to present the March 2015 Columns Forum Columnist of the Month. A former Main Page writer, mizfan knocked it out of the park last month in the Forum. Chair Shots has been bringing you his CHIKARA Report most recently, but today he brings you this thoughts on TNA. Enjoy!

***********************


“Ask not what EC3 can do for you… but what you can do for EC3.“

***


There once was a man called Bradshaw.

He had many names, but Bradshaw is the one he was best known by. After many years of hard work, he one day found some success as a tag team wrestler and became well-liked by the fans. It wasn’t much, in the grand scheme, but it was enough.

Nobody thought he could be anything more. It was his destiny to live out his days in a moderately successful tag team, and that was all.

***


“I stand here before you, not as a man, but as an ideal, because today is a day that will live in infamy. No longer will you see EC3 as the conquering hero that he is, but you will see him as something more: a unifier, with golden aspirations. Watch as I unite the divided. Those that cheer and those that jeer. Those that chant you can’t wrestle, and those who chant yes he can. I stand here with a very important announcement to make, as I am officially declaring myself the next TNA world heavyweight champion.

EC3 2015.

This is the year and this is the campaign. Historians have stated it is the title that makes the man, but I assure you that is not true. The man will soon make the title.“


***


There once was a man called Mike Mizanin.

A refuge from the wastelands of reality television, nobody expected Mizanin to even survive in the world of wrestling, let alone find any kind of success. After much hard work, he also found some success in a tag team, though he was widely regarded as the weaker member of the group. It wasn’t much, but compared to what was expected from him it was plenty.

Nobody thought he could be anything more. It was his destiny to fade into obscurity when his team was broken up, another casualty of a company’s lust for media crossover, and that was all.

***


“My qualifications, you ask? Since my debut in October of 2013, I have been unpinned and unsubmitted. That is 20 months of perfection, 20 months of absolute. I have been baptized by blood, fighting off enemies in their own land, and I have defeated every TNA Hall of Famer that there is, Sting, Bully Ray, and the incumbent champion himself, Kurt Angle.

There is no candidate better suited than I to hold this title, to take this company to the future, for the next 4, ah hell, for the next 8 years.“


***


There once was a man called Bubba Ray Dudley.

He also found success in a tag team, only his success was on an all-time legendary scale. One of the most prolific tag team wrestlers of all time, his name was known and loved by millions and his team regarded as one of the best ever. It was a lot by any standard, and even though he never had much success on his own, that was ok.

Nobody thought he could be anything more. It was his destiny to go down as a tag team specialist, and that was all.

***


“If you feel my credentials are not enough, let’s take a look at the statistics, because EC3 2015 is a grassroots campaign, and we’re going to start right here in Florida baby. Watch as I become champion. Projected numbers are going to take place, because unemployment is going to go down 79%, and unmotivated children and lazy millennials will go down a whopping 67%.

Yes, I love this speech too.

These United States will become Carter Country. No longer red, no longer blue, golden, united as one, 1 star to represent 50. The hardcore American icon leading the charge. “


***


There are some wrestlers who cannot be confined by destiny.

Some wrestlers defy the fate that seems obvious, or even inevitable. They rise above.

They reinvent themselves,

They grab opportunity by the horns,

They shatter the class ceiling and tear all former expectations to shreds.

Some wrestlers transcend their time and place and create a pocket of excellence so wonderful and unexpected that it seems like magic.

But it’s real.

And if you don’t experience it when it happens, you’ll never be able to go back and rediscover it.

Everyone I’ve mentioned here today is a person that the industry gave up on at one point or another, only for them to change their stories through sheer force of will.

Bradshaw becomes JBL, and conquers Smackdown with brilliant promo work and impeccable heel execution.

Mike Mizanin becomes the Miz, and despite what revisionist history might tell you he becomes the personification of the “beatable” heel champion and more than holds his own with legendary names like John Cena and the Rock, at least for a time.

Bubba Ray Dudley becomes Bully Ray, gets into the best shape of his life, and dominates a company with gangland tactics and vicious promos.

Each man took a new name, turned it into a new life, and became champion of the world, in one form or another. Each man reinvented his legacy and changed his corner of the business for the better.

There is such a man, poised on the edge of history.

He is right here.

He is right now.

And he is doing the work of a lifetime.

And if you don’t take notice soon, his rocket to the stars is going to take off without you on it.

***


“As world champion, I will take this title worldwide. I will take this title, shoot it into space, with myself leading the charge. I will defend it in orbit, I will defend it on the moon, I will defend it on Mars, martians take notice, I’m coming for you.”

***


There once was a man called Derrick Bateman…

***


“I’d like to conclude by saying one thing.

I am EC3, your next world heavyweight champion.

God bless TNA wrestling, and god bless EC3.”

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