Posted in: Column of the Month April COTM - 'Ridin' With The Bossman' by Wevv Mang
By sheepster
May 12, 2003 - 9:12:43 AM
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Every month, the Columnist of the Month contest is held in the LOP Columns Forum. The winning columnist gets to have one of his columns posted on the main page. This month, we have Wevv Mang and his column, Ridin’ With The Bossman.
Ridin' With The Bossman - COTM Special - Wrestling and You
Greetings! Welcome to the Ridin' With The Bossman Special! I have finally made it to the main page, having won the Columnist of The Month Contest that takes place in the Forums. So please allow me to sing the song from the Jefferson's, "Movin On Up". Not to take away from the great honor it is to win, but I'm allowed a little revelry ain't I? Hey, I may not get back here any time soon, as the guys in the forums keep writing great stuff.
My name is Wevv Mang and I like wrestling. To be more specific, I like the action and the story that goes into creating two plus hours of TV every Monday and Thursday night. I have been watching it off and on since the mid eighties, with a break in the mid nineties. What drove me away was a Tugboat - Earthquake match, and can I really be blamed for staying away after that?
What brought me back was the NWO (all the guys I had grown up with still wrestling? You gotta be kidding me) and a friend who gave me a tape of the Tyson WM. Wrestling had changed a great deal, and I was easily hooked again. It wasn't always good, but it was entertaining in some fashion. You see, I like cheesy TV and movies. An example? Well, what better one than the infamous Big Show-Bossman feud, from which my column derives it's title.
To recap, Bossman and Big Show were engaged in a psychological battle. Bossman had found out that Big Show's Daddy had passed away. So, during the funeral, some how, some way, he managed to sneak up to the casket, hook a chain around it, back up the Blues Brothers car, and attach the chain to it. During the ceremony, in which friends and family were standing RIGHT THERE, he yelled out the window, suddenly able to be seen, "I got your daddy Big Show!" and drove off, trailing the casket behind him. Big SHow yelled "NO!" and jumped on the casket as it was being dragged. he held on to it, and the camera stayed on them for about a hundred yards before the camera cut away. Now, as I write this, I can't help chuckling. It was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen. It was like 4 years ago too.
C'mon, that's some fine comedy. The really funny thing was, it wasn't played as such. It was supposed to be serious. It just came off so ludicrous.
So my point is, that some folks watch wrestling to judge work rate and matches. I watch wrestling to be entertained, whether it be through a good match or through some cheesy angles. We the fans sometimes forget that wrestling is no longer just wrestling, if Pro Wrestling ever really was, but is now Sports Entertainment. It's the spice that makes wrestling so addictive. And like it or not, it's here to stay.
Now my column is divided into two sections. Maybe three if you count the Big Show Bossman hijinks that I use for comedic relief. Sadly, they will not be joining me today, as I would like to hog this column all to myself. The two sections are a review of the most recent wrestling show (Raw or Smackdown) and a section called Over-Analyzing Wrestling. In that section I pick a topic and go in-detph on it. Usually I pick something that sparked my brain as I watched the show. Sometimes it's something that I've been thinking about for a while, again sparked by something seen on TV. The reason I review the show is that it's what every person sees. Nothing is true until it actually happens on TV. Road Warriors to WWE? Not real until they appear on the screen. Until then it's just a rumor, and when it happens it means that WWE has pulled the trigger and it's legit. So, since I'm a lazy bastard and don't want to write up two reviews of a show I watched once, and the off chance that my review will be too dated I decided to celebrate and do something different. For this column, I decided to spend my hard earned money on something that the net has been telling me is good. I spent money on T and A. Or, to be more accurate:
TNA-NWA - Total Non-Stop Action, May 7, 2003
I've heard good things about TNA before and how the product has improved from the last time I've seen the product (back in August). I've been toying with the idea of purchasing the PPV for a few weeks, and figured, why not now?
The main stumbling block was the fact that I am a cheap bastard. I don't like the idea of paying for a TV show that has WWE cast -offs as it's main attraction. Sure there's supposed to be some great action in the X-division, but for me to shell out ten bucks, it better be fantastic. So I kept my expectations low, and this is what I saw.
The show started off with a 1 minute FBI warning. You bastards better pay us money, and stop pirating this show. We want to get Scott Hall back and he demands payment in advance.
Once the show got started, we got a nice five minute promo telling us all the stuff that has happened in previous weeks. Good, I'm new and may not know what’s going on in terms of story. Raven's in TNA and causing all kinds of trouble. That's about all I got out of it.
Next up, Mike Tenay and Don West (?) talk in the ring about what a great show it's going to be tonight. The guy who's name I'm not sure of was just out of control about Mayhem in the Asylum(YEAH! WHOO!YEAH! I’M DRUNK! WHERE AM I?WHOO!). Mike stayed calm and got me through it. Thanks, Mike. Now get the trank gun and use it on your partner.
D-LO Brown and A.J.Styles vs Elix Skipper and Low-Ki(pronounced key)
Solid match, with lots of reversals, some good counters, drop kicks everywhere and lots of action. I was impressed with D-Lo. It looks like he got his fire back, and he managed to keep up with these guys. The finish was truly amazing, as D-Lo was on the outside, brawling with Skipper, when he rushed in to catch Low-Ki in a mid-flight splash onto Styles in the corner, and reverse the move into the Low-Down. He ran like 8 feet, including getting into the ring, to make the move, and timed it just right. Wow. Don't see that in WWE. We're lucky Nash can make it into the ring before the show's over.
Disco Inferno is the leader of some kind of group. I think that there are several, all with names that sound like they came off of the same porno box. We have S.E.X, Sports Entertainment Extreme (I learned this because it kept coming up during the show. Yes, I know that could be taken as an innuendo joke.), XXX, and Raven's Flock (?). Disco wants a title shot and he’s going to go beat up Jeff Jarret to get it. I have no idea what he wants the team to do but they better do it. Or face the wrath of DISCO!
We next see Disco beating the hell out of Jeff Jarret. Jarret has a knee brace and crutches with him, and doesn't protect himself in any way, just lets Disco pound on him. Disco beats him to the parking lot, where a security guy watches, then when it looks like it's over, goes to get help. Good job, dude. There are also wrestlers standing around watching this happen and not doing anything to stop it. Well it is Total Non-Stop Action, and that means you can't stop the action ANYWHERE, I guess.
ECW Lives! More like Undead, though it is good to see these guys again. new Jack comes to the ring and cuts another weird promo. This time he rambles about taking pills and staying up all night with Sandman and Sabu. He's got different entrance music, and it just doesn't quite work. Sandman comes out next and wanders off into the crowd. he doesn't even get into the ring. Sabu comes out, and he looks disappointed with his reaction, a theme that stays with him throughout the night. The match starts, and so does the bloodletting. Sandman finally gets in the ring. Just a bat the hell out of the other guy type of match. The finish sees New Jack jump off of a scissors lift, through a table and look like he seriously screwed up his leg. Sandman was egging him on, telling him to go higher. Also, they showed Disco going back for more of Jeff during the match.
Next we sees chicks. Tracy, who is damn hot, wants a match for the big belt tonight. Some good mic work from the blonde, Goldylocks, and she has some good zingers. Some guy agrees, after Tracy propositions him. The guy asks Goldy why she doesn't offer to sleep with him. I have a few good reasons.
Chicks shake their asses. 'Nuff said.
Next we get some build up to a match. Nice build, and the premise is that these two guys are hot newcomers in a tag team and tonight they'll face off against each other, as there have been miscommunications.
James Storm vs Chris Harris
Not a bad match, but the fluke ending comes into play, by Storm blocking a sunset flip into a sit down pin. Recapping move by move ain't my thing, if you couldn't tell by now.
Erik Watts sucks. Just a truly horrible promo, and not in the least bit funny. I don't know this guy, and don't care about him, and for him to be trying to do inside jokes is not a good idea. I was more confused than amused by it.
Chicks shake ass. Hey, the name of the show is T and A after all. I ain't complaining.
Tracy vs Desire vs Trinity
Trinity apparently has some fans, as I see signs in the audience. Match is stalled as Kid Kash comes out and does a woman hater promo. Not good, and he beats up Trinity. Poor Kid Kash, you used to be somebody. Now you just hate chicks. Match then gets started, as Tracy takes on Desire, another hot broad. These two girls have some moves, but not a lot, and then match is over in a sloppy fashion. Interference back fires. At least it was quick.
Next up is an interview segment that is more word association than questions. We get the Harris Brothers opinions on matters, and frankly, who cares? This is what I learned. -Japan pays better than Puerto Rico -The H-Bomb is the best finisher in the business, Yeah, right. -The Harris brothers have apparently had more than 20 tag tittles, and no one has more. Again, Yeah, right.
Chicks shake ass. Better than commercials.
Goldylocks interviews the Tag Team Champions, Jerry Lynn and Amazing Red. Amazing Red looks likes he's 15 years old. Uh-Oh, Jerry is going heel.
Handicap match Jerry Lynn and Amazing Red, Tag Team Champions vs Christopher Daniels
Pretty good match, and Daniels looks good. Red has some damn fine moves, but needs to learn how to sell a submission hold. Jerry still can put on a show. Then a weird thing happens. Jerry uses a chair on Daniels, and the ref rings the bell. Apparently, a win is a win, no matter what, and Daniels wins the tag belts. He does have some friend with him, but how can this work out? Think along the Triad in WCW, but now that that stip has come into play, how can this work? Eh, it's not like I'll be paying for this show again soon, but I will pay attention to it in net results.
Mike and Don talk about Jarret. He's still hurt.
Scrubby McDooger introduces the Anarchy in The Asylum Match. He looked loaded.
The whole match was just plain sloppy, and even trying to recall all the moves involved is not interesting. The guys involved had no clue what to do most of the time, and even when they got down to the final three, it was still sloppy as hell. So here are the participants, and you'll see what I mean.
1) Brian Lawler ( Grand Masta Sex-Ay) 9 punches to the balls 2) D-Lo He got 10 shots to the balls, and still lasted till the final four. 3) Sonny Siake - Vaguely remember him from WCW 4) James Storm - Got eliminated after his tag team partner botched a move 5)Kid Kash 6) Ric F'N Steiner - really, what can I say? Horrible, just horrible. 7) Mike Awesome - Came in and feuded with 8) Justin Credible - They were out quickly 9) Ron Killings - Was a star when I last saw him. Now he’s not. It’s a shame. 10) Tracy- Kash beat her up, then got thrown out 11) Perry Saturn - ...?...? 12) Disco 13)Konan - One move over and over again. Whip into ropes, roll and up into a clotheslines/Punch. 4 times. Saw it the first time, and wasn't really impressed. Repeat did not help. 14) Buff Bagwell - Spit take. Now I have Ric and Buff on my TV. Dear Lord... 15) AJ Styles - eliminates D-Lo by accident. Now we have two feuding tag teams. 16) Sabu - Goes for the jump off the top tope into the crowd, stops, does it again, misses. By a large margin. Ah, Sabu. Things just ain’t been the same since you tried to sneak into WCW have they?
Raven runs in to screw over Sabu for the finish. Disco wins.
So that was TNA-NWA. You know, it wasn't a bad show, and better than Thunder, but not by much. Maybe because I just watched it once, and can't get into the angles, and don't know who's who, I can't give it higher marks. One good thing about Russo, is that he always had hot chicks on his show. They may not draw ratings, but they do keep my interest.
Basically, this show was not one I would have paid money to see. If it was on free TV, then I would watch it. It's got some good action, but plot wise is lacking. The lack of commercials was covered nicely, and the production could be better, but that would cost money, Something TNA does not have a lot of. But they have money for Ric Steiner and Buff Bagwell.
If TNA is something you're thinking about getting, I say try it. Once can't hurt and it may be an alternative to paying for Judgment Day. I understand that they're trying to build an audience, and they do a good job of getting new fans up to speed, but the lack of TV exposure is a big fault.
Now it's time to put the finisher on this here column.
Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today's Topic: Becoming The Enemy
When I first started using the internet to find out about my guilty pleasure, it was in 1999. I was a late bloomer to the world of Smarkdom, and while I may have realized that wrestling was fake, I really didn't know all about the behind the scenes stuff. What I knew, I guessed from watching the shows. Then one day, I thought about looking it up on the web. A whole new world opened up to me. The first site I found was one that began with the letter R, and the other was Lords Of Pain. I did find some other sites, but they weren't as good, and rarely updated. taking things slow, I mainly visited these sites, but gradually expanded to others. I found Wrestleline and started going there, along with my two "finds". As I read the news and rumors, i found the way I watch wrestling changing. I tried to apply what I read to what I was seeing on my TV screen. Things like Austin's injuries let me know that he was going out soon, and I tried to figure out how it would happen. When it did, I knew why. Cool. Some of the backstage stuff was harder to translate, but there were some occurrences, like the sudden depush of RVD (he kept injuring guys), and the financial troubles of ECW.
The Monday night wars also took on a new dimension. Now I could read all about the inside moves of WCW and WWF and understand the digs that they would throw at each other on TV. When somebody was about to jump top another promotion, I would anticapte their arrival eagerly, waiting to see how they would handle it. Chris Jericho was truly impressive, as I thought, "Yeah, he wasn't used well in WCW, and here's WWF showing them how it's done." Much like when a football player goes to another team and starts making some big moves.
When WCW finally collapsed, and the net had all kinds of news that WWE had bought it, who didn't look forward to the Invasion? Net fans spent weeks coming up with dream matches, and angles. Advanced knowledge had sparked high interest.
When the WWE had problems with the PTC, it was mainly the internet that rallied to their support.
But then the attitude changed. Today, the Internet is the enemy. What changed? Well, there was the XFL and our failure to keep Vince's brain fart afloat, and then there was the fact that the fans did help against the PTC. The icing on the cake was when the fans booed the crap out of the whole Invasion storyline. Even though the net fans are sheep (We watch no matter what), the fact that the product is not good, and that we have no problem telling WWE that, and loudly, can grate on a person. Being told how much you suck, after putting a lot of effort into something, does not endear one.
Now it's become a pissing contest. The WWE has told it's fans to "Get the F Out", and after the blatant approach, now it's come down to snide digs. Think it's coincidence that Cena, who most fans seem to like, has been depushed and now has a finisher called the 'F U'? Unlikely.
Another example, and perhaps a more personal one. Ric Flair, who was one of my all time favorite wrestlers, is now, week after week, telling the most hated guy in the company, Triple H, how great he is, and how he's a better champion than Ric could ever be. That's what? 20+ years, 16 Championship reigns, a true legend, who the fans STILL like better than H, slapping the fans, and telling them they're wrong for not supporting Triple H.
Now like I said, it's hard to be called an idiot week after week, and not get upset. Something has got to give. So if you can't stop watching, and need to find some kind of relief, you can try these tips to make the pain less.
1) See if you can spot the dig at the internet and who it's aimed at.
2) Read the signs and see if you're favorite column writers name is mentioned. The WWE stopped the website signs, but have yet to catch on the AUTHOR's names. I've seen Tito's in there sometimes.
3) Make up a scenario involving a wrestler. Make it as horrible as you can. See how many aspects of it are actually involved in the angle. You might be surprised. (Good Grief, I was kidding about the baby seal clubbing...” You might be, but WWE isn't...)
4) And finally, Mind altering substances. But don't do drugs and don't drink and drive. Public Service announcement. Try eating a lot of turkey. Almost the same thing.
That's about it for my main page debut. I hope it went over well. If not, I blame Triple H. I still have some shameless plugs to get in.
First, let me say thank you to Lords of Pain. I've been visiting this site for over 4 years now, and while some other sites have come and gone, this one still continues to be one of my favorites, and one I regularly check out. That's why I decided to start writing columns here. I still remember when Calvin switched the format around years ago, and I wrote him an e-mail telling him I liked the new design. He wrote me back. That was cool. Here I was trying to help out some kid who had a good site and encourage him, and now it's one of the biggest wrestling news sites out there. That is really cool.
Mr.Tito has been writing for years, and used to write a column everyday. Every friggin day. The PDC was always a good read, and I really liked when Tito would snap, and just blast Nitro. Funny stuff, and I felt the same way. Now he's The Man. Not that he wasn't before, but now he's a Legend. The Wrath of Tito
Stanman's Wrestling AfterThoughts He's not just an LOP forums moderator, he's a writer! IS there anything he can't do? Read him and find out.
The Wrestling Menu DaveyBoy is The Godfather of the LOP Columns forums. A great read, and he's Australian. Don't show disrespect and pass up his column. You may regret it.
More wrestling thought and opinions than you can shake a stick at. Even a really, really big stick. Some fantastic writers and I'm going to plug some of them.
DoubleHelix - A Helix is Better than an Angle - Fantastic reviews and good insight
theDubs - Turnbuckle Tailgate - Always funny, but don't let his comedy fool you. There's some serious commentary buried in there
Optimus Starscream - Cold Kiss of Steel - great reviews, and some opinions that you may share
Jim Forzese - The Forzese View - Great read, and always thought provoking.
Jeriko243 - The Whole Damn Column - Former COTM winner and still going strong
Wevv Mang - Ridin' With The Bossman - Brilliant! Thought Provoking! Insightful! A Must Read!
And many more, MEhnes316, Phantomlord2k1, The Monkey, Sheepy, brochio66, Faded_Glory, and others. Don't be scared, give it a try. And if you sign up, you can have a cool name too.
Thanks again to LOP for giving me this shot at the main page. You can read more of my stuff over in the forums.
