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TripleR Presents: Oliver's Weekly NXT Review (10/3/13)
Oct 3, 2013 - 8:53:26 PM
Hello NXTians! How are you all today? I hope you’ve all recovered from whatever happened at the end of Breaking Bad or the end of GTA V and are ready for another week of hot and heavy NXT action, right here on The NXT Review! Now, last week we saw the end of the Dusty era and the birth of the era of the Wrestling God, as JBL was announced as the new GM of our weekly programming. He immediately told someone in the crowd to shut their mouth and gave Eddie’s mum another heart attack. Or something like that, at least. Regardless, I wonder if he’ll have anything to say tonight? Plus – Emma needs to find a partner so she can answer the challenge laid down by Summer Rae for a match against her and her baby boopsie Fandango. And the NXT Tag Team Titles will be on the line as The Ascension, fresh from their victory in the tag team turmoil match last week, take on Fly Down. Will the Man That Gravity Forgot and the Hipster Barista be able to overcome the power and precision of The Ascension? And not only that (crikey, there’s a lot of stuff happening this week) but Kassius Ohno has dropped the required pounds to be allowed back between the yellow ropes! Huzzah! He’ll be given a chance of revenge against a member of the Wyatt Family. Finally, Bo Dallas will host his own invitational to crown a new number one contender for the NXT Championship – and Sami Zayn isn’t invited! Will the daredevil Canuck somehow find a way to throw a spanner in Dallas’ works? Or will someone else emerge as the challenger to his title? Find out in …
The NXT Review: 03/10/2013 – The One With A Gate Crasher
We start off tonight with Fandango and Summer Rae, the crowd chanting his theme song as the two prance to the ring. Fandango indulges in some Kaepernicking in the corner as he soaks in what it sounds like to be over, and leaves Summer doing the splits in the middle of the ring and shakes his booty. Here’s Emma, and she’s being interviewed by Renee Young because she’s come out on her own. Does she have a partner? Of course she does Renee, you silly little rabbit – she’s got the best possible partner Emma could ever have, Santino Marella! Fandango and Summer are furious that they have to take on someone with the poise and grace of Marella! Nobody can escape the Cobra! Santino goes for a hug, but Emma wants to dance, and there’s a bit of confusion over their entrances – Emma wants to dance her way to the ring, but Santino’s got to get his powerwalk in. They try again, and this time Emma goes for the powerwalk but Santino tries out a bit of Emma-ing! They just can’t get on the same page, so Santino goes for a bit of a pep talk and they powerwalk whilst Emma-ing on their way down! Emma makes the flip into the ring and then gives Santino an assist in flipping in himself. A ‘this is awesome’ chant echoes around the NXT arena as Renee takes a seat at commentary – she seems to be becoming the NXT Women’s Announcer, which I am all for, last week she added some good insight into the match between Sasha and Bayley. Santino goes to soak up the adulation of the crowd but falls over the ropes in the corner, and at the behest of the crowd he goes for it one more time, but chickens out of going onto the top rope this time. Let’s go!
Marella and Fandango kick things off, and Santino blocks a kick, then Fandango blocks a kick and the two spin out into fighting poses. The former Johnny Curtis offers a knuckle lock, but it’s all a ruse and he boots Santino in the gut, and then drives him headfirst into the turnbuckle. He whips him across the ring, but the Italian leapfrogs over him and looks for an early Cobra! Fandango dives under the ropes to narrowly escape Marella’s most venomous move. While he takes a break, Emma comes in and…what’s she doing? She takes one hand, bends it at the elbow and the wrist…the double cobra! No! She’s teaching Santino how to Emma! The two engage in some synchronised dancing while Summer freaks out on the outside. Fun and frolics here on NXT, as ever! When he finally comes back in, Fandango gets caught in a Boston crab attempt, but manages to spin out of it, and he again offers up a knuckle lock and suckers in his Italian opponent…but he then gets levelled with a pair of arm drags! Santino high fives Emma, but he didn’t mean to tag her in! So it’s Emma vs Rae now, while Santino remonstrates…and gets tagged back in, much to the chagrin of their opponents! But no, Santino and Emma high five again – they just never learn, do they? And they do it again! This is hilarious – on the third time they nearly repeat it, but realise just in time what they’re doing. And Marella turns around into a chop to the throat, dropping him to the mat. The Salsa Master stays on top, taking him down with a back elbow and then choking him against the ropes. When the ref breaks it, Rae takes advantage and chokes Santino some more. Meanwhile, on commentary, Renee says that Fandang is quite predatory, constantly inviting him to fashion shows and other events – she always says no, in public, but on her phone his name is down as something different so nobody can know about their secret love. I bet it’s in there as Johnny Curtis.
Fandango pounds his man down on the mat and then connects with a suplex for a two count from the referee, and Marella is reeling here, as he tries for the hot tag in the wrong corner, leaving him at the mercy of the ballroom dancer. Fandango chokes his opponent in his team’s corner, and breaks to remonstrate with the referee, allowing Rae to slap Marella in the face! Emma isn’t having that and runs round to sort the First Lady of NXT out, but the ref stops her – and she misses Santino coming over for the tag, as he rolls under a clothesline attempt from Fandango! Oh no! Fandango stays on Marella now, dragging him back to his corner, while Renee discusses the finer points of the dancer’s wardrobe – fuchsia has a bit more pink in it than the purple trunks he’s wearing today. Oh, and apparently she politely declined an invitation to go to Disney World with the former Johnny Curtis because she’d rather go to Universal Studios – fair enough. Santino tries to kip up but fails, twice, and when Fandango goes up for the legdrop he rolls to the other side of the ring. He jumps down from the top rope and runs to the opposite turnbuckle – but Santino rolls back the other way! And again! Oh Santino, you really are the best. And a backslide attempt from Santino! Only two! And Fandango takes him down with a boot to the gut! But a kip up, from Santino! And a tag to Emma! The Dancing Dingo comes in and levels Summer with a pair of clotheslines! An Irish whip into the corner gets reversed, but Rae takes a moment to taunt her opponent – too long, and Emma dodges! Tarantula! She breaks before five, but Rae slumps into the corner and the Australian connects with a low crossbody! And she’s going for the Cobra! Renee is jealous that she has it – but she doesn’t get to use as Rae connects with a DDT. She rolls through and pounds Emma into the mat – but Emma reverses it for some pounding of her own! She throws Rae into her partner, and all four people are now in the ring. Stereo splits from Emma and Santino! And hiptosses! And diving headbutts! Emma hands the Cobra back to her partner – and he connects! 1…2…3 – it’s all over! Santino and Emma win!
The greatest tag team in the history of tag teams. Emma and Santino should always be partnered together. Please make it so, WWE. Emma plays the trumpet while Santino does the Emma in the middle of the ring, along with the rest of the commentary team – Renee is delighted to have seen Santino’s cobra. There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I can’t quite get it. This was straight up comedy, which I guess is what you should expect when Santino’s in the ring – everything about it, though, was perfect for me. I loved it. The sort of fun that works really well and doesn’t come off as forced or anything. The stereo moves were my highlight, they were terrifically done (although Emma didn’t get much height on her headbutt but, whatever) and…oh man, what a great way to start the show. I’m sure some people will have found it too silly, but for me it was just right.
The Ascension appear and say that what they did to Big Cass and Enzo is just a taste of what they’re going to do to Graves and Neville, and tonight they’re going to take the NXT Tag Team Championships to where they really belong. Tonight, heroes will fall, and they will rise. Snore. I’ve kind of soured on The Ascenion as time has gone on – they’re starting to bore me a little now with all of their pomp and ceremony. There’s little substance to back it up, I find. This was pretty by the book, and not very interesting. Moving on.
Four months. That’s how long Kassius Ohno has been out as a result of ‘an attack by the Wyatt Family’. It’s been way too long since we’ve seen him. He comes out with a hearty roar and flips his way into the ring – he’s looking pretty darned good following his lay off, and he’s got a lot on his hands with Luke Harper, who comes in on his own and without his Wyatt Family brother and father.
Harper forces Ohno back into the corner and starts to beat on him as hard as he can, with a body blow and a European uppercut, before just throwing him out of the ring. He hauls him back inside by the hair and goes to throw him out of the opposite side, but Ohno catches himself on the ropes and flips around onto the apron! Terrific agility there from the big man, and he hits a shoulder to the gut of Harper to take control. A dropkick to the face from Kassius, but he looks to charge in on Harper in the corner and gets greeted with a knee for his trouble, then levelled with a clothesline to take him down to the mat. The Wyatt Family member then mounts his opponent and rains punches down on his head, keeping him on the mat before wrenching him up by his nose and flooring him again with a headbutt. ‘Yeah yeah yeah yeah’ – Harper is happy with his work after dropping an elbow and he pushes Ohno around with his head before locking in a rear chinlock. Ohno struggles to get back to his feet and finally breaks the hold by ramming his opponent into the turnbuckle. He comes out with an elbow to the face, then a fist, and a chop to the chest. Off the ropes he comes and catches an attempted kick by Harper, connecting with a jumping knee to the face – damn that looked good – which sends Harper to the outside. He hits a dropkick to Harper through the ropes and goes to the outside, but as he comes off the ropes in the ring Harper nails a massive big boot, nearly taking Kassius’ face right off! He connects with a body avalanche in the corner, and then fells his opponent with a discus clothesline to give him the win.
Jesus, I would have liked to have seen these guys go full pelt for another five minutes. When it got going at its best, just after the chinlock, this was a fast, hard hitting match that was really enjoyable – unfortunately, that lasted all of sixty seconds, as Harper soon won, but it was a glimmer of some great stuff. Ohno loses his return match but looked good in doing so, showing that same agility and speed that he had before, but looking a little bit more…together, I guess? I mean, he’s never going to be some muscle bound guy, but he looked like he’d slimmed down a little, just looked a bit fresher overall. Hopefully this is the first of many matches for him now, as he sure adds something to the roster overall. God, I’d love to see what he and Zayn could do right now.
Enzo and Big Cass are backstage – they were as close as Siamese twins to being number one contenders for the NXT Tag Team Titles, until those two…chicho ross? Something like that. Oh, Chihuahuas, I think. The Ascension came and handed them their first loss. But it’s OK, they bounce back because they’re stars. Long Edge says Dawson and Rusev have been hitting the local taco stand a bit too much of late – and not the hard kind. Dawson dresses like a mechanic, but Big Cass wouldn’t let him fix his car, ever. The only thing he’s fixing is for his teeth to get knocked down his throat! Enzo doesn’t understand what type of tacos aren’t the hard kind, but Cass tells him to shut up – he’s more concerned about Alexander ‘big mush’ Rusev coming out and breaking boards when he should be worried about breaking his mother’s heart. She raised a wholesome kid, but now he’s coming out to the ring with no shoes on and wearing skirt. Enzo says he needs to get some shoes, but he’s finally got what it means to not have the hard kind – they’ve been filling their throats with S-A-W-F-T- SAAAAAAAAWFT tacos bro. Cass says that wasn’t so hard, and sometimes he worries about him. Wonderful stuff from these two as ever – always entertaining. In the past two weeks, they’ve expanded on their most recent leaked presentation skills video. You’ve all seen that, right? It’s basically the two promos put together, and it’s super entertaining. I figure they’re going to have to overcome Multicultural Society before they can get their hands on the NXT Tag Titles, but hopefully it won’t be long before that gold is residing around their waists. Let’s just hope this isn’t another Cryme Tyme situation, where the most entertaining (and best) tag team on the roster gets overlooked, hey?
Ooh, Mojo Rawley is debuting next week. Heard a lot about him, mostly good, and he gives a little promo talking about hype and how it’s the most powerful force in the world, that it can transform a person from ordinary into superhuman. Man, he looks good, absolutely jacked and nimble. He doesn’t get hyped – he stays hyped. So he’s superhuman all the time! I’m looking forward to seeing him next week.
What happens when a good gimmick with average wrestlers meets good wrestlers with no gimmick whatsoever? An NXT Tag Team Championship match, that’s what! The Ascension do their usual dramatics on their way to the ring, Victor massaging his partner in the corner. Neville holds off entering the ring until Graves turns up, both men getting a nice little pop and Graves rocking slightly longer stubble than usual – kind of works with his whole look, actually, I quite like it. I like stubble. I’m trying to grow a beard right now, but I get massive bald spots on my cheeks that look silly so I think I’m going to have to concede defeat. My manliness is clearly lacking.
Victor and Neville are going to start us off, and the little Geordie ducks a clothesline and locks in a side headlock. He gets pushed off the ropes, but flips over Victor on the mat and connects with a leg sweep to give him a cover attempt that goes nowhere. He back flips over an attempted leg sweep by Victor and takes him down with a dropkick to allow him another cover, this time for a one count. The pace is super-fast at the start here, as the Scalpel of The Ascension begs off in the corner, but Neville just kicks him hard in the chest twice. He blocks a clothesline attempt and locks in a side headlock, but off the ropes Victor connects with a flying shoulder block, allowing him to tag in O’Brian. The Bludgeon of The Ascension charges through Neville off the ropes, staring down Graves all the while, and he stays on the jumping Geordie as the crowd starts to get behind him, connecting with big rights to the jaw. But Neville flips out of a suplex attempt and gets the tag to Graves in the corner! The Hipster Barista lands some fists to the mush, and connects with a heel kick after a boot to the gut is blocked by the big man. He comes off the ropes – but gets caught with a flapjack! Graves kicks out! Isn’t that O’Brian’s finisher? O’Brian tags to Victor and holds Graves up, allowing his partner to connect with a double chop to the gut. The Ascension do some quick tags and double teaming, ending up with O’Brian taking Graves down by locking his head between his legs and trying to twist if off between his thighs. Ho hum. I’m kind of bored, and this match is about half done. Man, I want to like these guys so much, I really do, but it’s essentially three guys I find fairly boring doing wrestling while Neville waits for a hot tag.
O’Brian gets Victor in, and he starts to wrench at the neck of Graves with his knee in the small of his back. Graves gets back to his feet only to be thrown to the ropes by Victor – but he nails a crossbody! He just can’t reach his corner to make the tag, though, and Victor tags in O’Brian. The Scalpel locks in a half Boston crab, and the Bludgeon drops a leg across the back of Graves’ neck, before wrapping his big legs around his midsection. Graves tries to break the hold, but O’Brian rolls back and the slams the coccyx of his opponent to the mat twice, before making a failed pinfall attempt. Victor comes in and immediately positions himself between Graves and Neville, pounding on his opponents back and then getting him up for some chops to the chest. He hoists Graves over his shoulder and then stares down Neville, before flipping him into a back body drop. Victor locks in a chinlock with both hands, wearing Graves down to the point where he almost looks out, before transitioning to a pin that Corey just kicks out of, then going back to the hold. Graves finally gets back to his feet, but just gets slung into the corner and a series of shoulders to the gut for his troubles. Victor whips him again into the corner – but Graves dodges him coming in and he eats the turnbuckle post! Graves tag Neville!
The Man That Gravity Forgot comes in like a house on fire, connecting with a series of kicks to the legs and midsection of Victor before taking him down with a pair of running back elbows. He dropkicks O’Brian off the apron, and then sends Victor to the outside via a back body drop and a dropkick. He soars over the top rope with a twisting moonsault, taking down both member of The Ascension! Victor gets thrown back in, and the Geordie connects with a springboard dropkick for a two count! Suddenly, this is a completely different battle, as Neville takes on both Ascension members on his own, with Graves down on the outside. He looks to whip Victor into the corner, but gets reversed…no, Neville leapfrogs over him and flips across the ring! He leaps out of the way of the incoming man and kicks him in the head! Up top now, and he’s looking for the Red Arrow…O’Brian just pulls Victor out of the way! Graves saves the match for his team on the pinfall attempt – I thought it was all over then! The Hipster Barista drags Neville to their corner and tags himself i! He motions for Victor to get up – and gets met with a running knee when he comes in! Oh no – Victor tags to O’Brian, and they scream at each other, and connect with the Fall of Man! This is over, The Ascension are NXT Tag Tem Champions!
O’Brian looks close to tears as they celebrate in the ring, bathed in blue light. Man, that ending was thrilling, and the start with Neville was good and high paced – but did it ever become dull in the middle. I think that’s the problem with having The Ascension on top, they just don’t have an interesting enough moveset to make it work. Graves plays a face in peril quite well, but doesn’t really have anything to immediately grab you in the way of moves. Jeff in the columns forum wrote recently on The Ascension, and got it bang on – they are not yet the finished product, and need an overhaul in their moveset to really create the interest in their ring work. The gimmick is terrific – it just needs some substance. Ah well, the era of The Ascension is upon us – let’s see how it goes.
Ah, here comes Bo, firing up at the top of the ramp and giving thumbs up to the fans that are booing him and screaming ‘No’. Oooh, he’s got his Oompa Loompas with him! Let’s see what they have to say:
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo,
Tonight is historic, you will soon see,
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dee,
Bo Dallas finds out who will face him.
Who will he battle in two weeks’ time?
Will they be able to stop his smile?
A young up and comer will bring the fight,
Will Bo have to look at the lights?
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo,
Enough talking done, get forminga line,
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dee,
In the words of Dallas, it is Bo time!
And first up to face the incumbent NXT Champion – it’s…who’s this guy? Nobody knows – but the crowd are behind him, chanting ‘let’s go this guy’! Bo shakes his hand, and the two tie up – the new guy goes for a quick pin and the crowd pop huge! 1…2…no! Oh, Bo looks shocked, and the crowd go crazy, making their support known. Dallas connects with a kick to the gut and a blow to the face, then rains down with punches in the corner. ‘Yeah baby!’ says Bo, as boos echo around the arena. Dallas connects with a spear, and that’s the end of this one. He shows some patronising care for his opponent and helps him roll out of the ring, then grabs a microphone again!
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo,
Bo has won one, without breaking sweat,
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dee,
Bring number two, tell me who’s next!
It’s Leo Kruger! This should be a much bigger challenge for Dallas, as the crowd chant their support – oh, here’s Antonio Cesarto as well! What is this, a triple threat? No, Cesaro and Kruger argue on the outside – although the crowd are chanting for a triple threat match – then both sliude into the ring at the same time. Cesaro concedes to Kruger – but it’s just a tease, as he turnsd and chins Kruger! The two do battle, and Cesaro uppercuts Kruger out of the ring – and Bo then sends him to the outside too! He celebrates like he’s just won the Stanley Cup as the strains of a mariachi band start up around the arena.
It’s El Local! Dressed all in black tonight and looking in terrific shape, it must be said, Local skips down to the ring. Dallas looks a little shaken, but charges in for a spear – Local dodges! He hits a Yakuza kick in the corner! Local wins! El Local is the new number one contender to the NXT Championship! Wow! Ole chants echo around the NXT arena, as the fans a clearly happy with their new number one contender, who removes his mask…
It was Sami Zayn all along! El Local was Sami Zayn! Sami Zayn beat Bo Dallas! The champ looks stunned on the outside while Zayn celebrates! He wasn’t even entered! Bo Dallas is the victim of a conspiracy! Oh my word – does this mean Zayn gets his title shot? Or does Bo weasel his way out? So many questions – let’s hope for some answers next week!
After delivering some serious Emmatainment in the opening match, and an Emmazing win, Emma as earned her win of the NXT MVP this week. She never fails to deliver, and I absolutely adored her antics with Santino in the mixed tag match. Hopefully, they are never parted.
02/10/2013 – Emma
25/09/2013 – Bo Dallas
18/09/2013 – Aiden English
11/09/2013 – Sasha Banks
04/09/2013 – Sami Zayn
28/08/2013 – Summer Rae
21/08/2013 – Sami Zayn and Antonio Cesaro
07/08/2013 – Enzo Amore
31/07/2013 – Bray Wyatt
24/07/2013 – Paige
17/07/2013 – Adrian Neville
Crikey NXTians, what a week that was! New NXT Tag Team Champions, a really entertaining mixed tag match, and a huge question mark left at the end of the show – will Sami Zayn be the official number one contender? Will Bo Dallas take his case to Washington? What will JBL have to say on the matter? There’s only one place to find out, and that’s on next week’s NXT! Also next week, Mojo Rawley will make his debut, and what will happen between Leo Kruger and Antonio Cesaro after their confrontation in the Bo Dallas Invitational? Until next week guys, stay safe when crossing the road and drink more hot chocolate! Adijo!