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Posted in: Chair Shots
Chair Shots: Wrestlemania XXX- Tears Were Shed!
By Rob Simmons
Apr 7, 2014 - 8:57:28 AM

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Welcome back everybody to the column that still can’t believe what it saw last night- Chair Shots! Are you sufficiently calmed down yet? Have the emotions settled to a nice, safe place? I don’t know about you, but the WWE gave me one hell of a ride last night. And as the title states, I’m not afraid to say it, tears were shed. I said on Twitter that I didn’t think I could write a standard “review” for what we witnessed last night, so I’m just going to sit here and express what my emotions told me about a Wrestlemania that may go down as one of the best of all time, at least in my opinion.

Luckily I was able to see the Pre-Show match for the Tag Team Championships, and I’m glad I did. I had been on the edge of my seat all day waiting for Mania to start, and this was a great way to get me pumped up for the next four hours. All four teams put in solid work in the match, and while as expected Rybaxel and Los Matadores were afterthoughts they gave us some pretty nice highlights. Say what you will about the ridiculous matador gimmick, but Primo and Epico are quite talented in the ring and bring a Lucha Libre style into the WWE that is quite refreshing. This one has non-stop action, and as predicted it came down to The Real Americans and The Usos. For a while there I actually thought that the WWE was going to go with a title change, but Cesaro takes the pinfall and The Real Americans combust right before our eyes.

There are big things ahead for Cesaro, that’s without question. The man is a beast in the ring and has some sick strength that almost looks inhuman. Over the years John Cena’s incredible feats of power have been hailed, but Cesaro might just top him in that department, but more on that later. After some pushing and shoving, Cesaro hits the Giant Swing on Jack Swagger and the Real Americans are done. The Superdome crowd got their first taste of what was going to be a special evening. But let’s not forget the star of that segment, and that’s Zeb Colter. His expressions and actions during the breakup were perfectly played as he basically broke down in tears as his team imploded. Great work by everybody involved.

So I rushed to the kitchen to make a sandwich, and got back just in time to see something I never thought I’d see- Hogan, Austin, and The Rock standing in the ring together basically giving the kudos that were deserving for three of the greatest in-ring competitors in WWE history. Sure Hogan forgot where he was, twice, but that doesn’t discount how cool it was to see those three in the ring together. Great way to start the evening and I was already smiling. I was a little kid all over again watching wrestling with my Dad. Yup, tears were already starting. I wish non-wrestling fans understood how much this sport can mean to the wrestling faithful, I really do.

Then we got Daniel Bryan and Triple H. How in the hell can that be starting Wrestlemania? Triple H curtain-jerking? But as the match went on, the more it made sense. Outside of the opening segment, these two were the first hour of Wrestlemania. They were given considerable time to tell a story that needed to be told. Say what you will about Triple H; love him or hate him, but the man is a Master at what he does. In my opinion, this was a solid MOTY candidate and hinging on perfection. My girlfriend and daughter were in the room watching something else as I jumped to my feet, pointing my fingers in the air and chanting YES! YES! YES! as Daniel Bryan got the victory. I had hoped he would win, but this WM had such an air of mystery around it you just didn’t know for sure. A fantastic match with a great story, and the added bonus of a very leggy Stephanie McMahon at ringside continuing her streak of great performances. The ending left questions. Would Daniel Bryan be able to continue? Would Triple H return later in the evening? We’d find out soon enough. I wasn’t sure my aged heart could take the rest of the evening.

From there we got the only true squash of the night, as The Hounds of Justice dare I say BURIED Kane and the New Age Outlaws in very quick fashion. There was no dissention or turmoil, just swift justice dealt out by three of the best in the business right now. It was a nice cool down from the first match, and allowed the fans to get right back where they needed to be. The Double Triple Powerbomb (does that make it a Six Bomb?) was a nice touch and could have gone terribly wrong. As it stands it appears Billy Gunn was hurt unfortunately, but it was a really nice moment for Rollins, Reigns and Ambrose. Nothing spectacular, but nothing wrong with it either.

Did I have time to go to the bathroom since I just guzzled down two Coke Zeros? Well damn it I was going to try as the Andre Battle Royal was next. Unfortunately two of the three empty spots didn’t amount to much as David Otunga and Yoshi Tatsu were trotted out from wherever they’ve been hiding. The third spot however became the most important as Cesaro pulls double duty and ends up face to face in the ring with the odds on favorite to win, The Big Show. Was this Cesaro’s moment? Was he going to be able to get The Big Show over the top rope? Well remember earlier when I was talking about freakish strength? Unbelievable Cesaro body slams Show over the top rope thus securing his victory. I cheered, the crowd cheered, and Big Show shook Cesaro’s hand in a great show of respect. Wrestling fans, Cesaro has arrived!

So far, the WWE had ZERO missteps on this card, and the rest looked fantastic. Next we got John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt, and let me just say this; the wrestling in this match was secondary to the story being told between all four men involved. Bray Wyatt lost, but it’s hard to argue with that when he practically BEGGED Cena to beat him up all night. It wasn’t about winning or losing for Wyatt, it was about exposing the truth about John Cena. It was about forcing Cena to embrace the dark side that Wyatt knows he has. And at time that happened. Cena showed some true heelish tactics at points, but the internal struggle he had told the story of a man conflicted. Wyatt pushed him further to the edge of hate than anyone ever had. Cena continues to be great at what he does. I’m at the point where I just don’t understand the Cena Hate. He’s truly one of the best, just accept that. But Wyatt, for as young as he is, JUST GETS IT! There is so much upside to Bray it’s insane to think about. On a weekend where the master of the mind game, Jake Roberts, got inducted into the Hall of Fame, Bray Wyatt may be on his way to continuing the legacy of the master manipulator. I can’t say enough good things about the story those men told. Wyatt didn’t get hurt with losing; in fact he increased his stock by leaps and bounds. So far my mind is blown. I was applauding the WWE on Twitter. I was glued to my chair. This was an amazing card.

Then IT happened! You know what I’m talking about- IT. The one match that was universally guessed as being a no-brainer shocked the wrestling world. Brock Lesnar PINNED The Undertaker, ending Taker’s 21-0 undefeated streak at WM. By now you’ve seen the pictures of the shocked fans, specifically the man now known as “Streak Guy”, but any one of us could have been that guy. I was that guy. Fans universally were stunned, in disbelief that the Streak was over. Today, people still refuse to admit it happened. I mean it did right? We weren’t all imagining that were we? As a match, it was a bit of a clunker quite honestly. Lesnar and Taker didn’t gel well together and the match never really got out of second gear, so Taker losing like that was shocking. Now I’ve said for a few years now that I wished Taker would retire. He doesn’t owe anybody anything anymore. He’s one of the best of all time. And I don’t really have a problem with the streak ending, but I do have a problem with who ended it. Brock Lesnar didn’t earn that honor. For a man that has shown little respect for the business, he just didn’t deserve that. Storyline wise though it makes sense, as Brock did proclaim himself the #1 Contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, and this sets up a Lesnar/Bryan feud down the road, just remember though that Brock’s appearances are limited due to the contract they agreed to. But I’ve got to ask again, that DID happen right?

At the end of the day though, if Taker made that call and that’s it for him then I couldn’t be happier for the man. He deserves the rest and relaxation after the years of physical torture he put his body through. Next stop, Hall of Fame!

Cool down time as The 14-Diva Invitational Match was next. This pretty much went as expected. I mean how good could it have been right? 14 women all trying to get one pinfall, that’s just insane. What it did though was expose a lot of weaknesses in the Divas division. Rosa Mendes is awful. Aksana is going to kill somebody. Eva Marie can’t do anything besides stand there and be a human stop sign. On the plus side, Emma got a nice moment to shine, as did Naomi and Tamina. When all was said and done though, it was AJ in the ring alone with Naomi making her tap out to the Black Widow and in a perfect character moment smiled at Vickie as she asked for her belt back. The next logical step is the AJ/Tamina feud that has been simmering, as AJ has pretty much beaten the rest of the division. Nothing spectacular, but it did its job as we prepared for the Main Event.

I wasn’t sure at this point how much I had left in me, but if this was going to go as I had hoped, there was no turning back. Orton, Batista and Bryan had a lot of work ahead of them if they wanted to live up to the rest of the evening, and to their credit they did their jobs. Batista looked to be in the best shape he’s been since his return and put on his best match to date. Bryan sold his injury like a champ, actually being out of the action for quite a bit of time, but the true MVP of the match was Randy Orton. Orton has been a rock star as of late, and I’ve been very impressed with his performance in-ring and out. The true shining point for Orton though had to have been after the Batista Bomb into the RKO on the announce tables as Orton fell square on a monitor and gashed his back pretty badly. From there on out, you could SEE the amount of pain Randy was in, but he soldiered on continuing to dish out and take punishment for about another 5-6 minutes.

But that’s not the real story here is it? We got what we wanted. Daniel Bryan is the NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. I cried dear readers. I legit had tears rolling down my face. I’ve watched wrestling for over 35 years, and only on a few occasions has that ever happened. The reunion of Savage and Elizabeth, the death of Owen Hart, Eddie and Benoit celebrating in the ring, Jake in the Hall of Fame, and now Daniel Bryan becomes WWE World Champion at the biggest stage in the business. I’m not ashamed of it either. I bet quite a few of you shed some tears as well. I was overwhelmed with the showing that the WWE put on at Wrestlemania. I stood in my living room and applauded the work of everyone. From all reports, it was Stephanie and Triple H that primarily put the show together, as Vince was pretty hands off this year. If that is any indication of where we’re going with them running the ship, we as fans are in for a hell of a ride. We whine and bitch and moan all the time as wrestling fans. We’re allowed. But last night, that ONE NIGHT, should prove to everybody why the WWE is the best at what they do. And it should renew your faith in being a wrestling fan. Believe that!

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As usual thanks for reading. I love my readers and appreciate every comment and look you give Chair Shots. Enjoy the ride everybody!

Until next time,
Rob Out!

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