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Posted in: Chair Shots
Chair Shots Presents: DOA 2013 (The Semifinals: Day Two & Note to the Readers)
By TripleR
Apr 17, 2013 - 10:57:12 PM

doa-dead-or-alive-20070509033142348_640w photo doa-dead-or-alive-20070509033142348_640w.jpg


My island had become a field of madness and mayhem. The remaining teams were using their terrain and all their resources to make it to the final round, ultimately to just survive. Team Hell No was the first pair to advance with the death of IRS. Two more teams will join them. Who will it be?

Dannokaboom Presents


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New Age Outlaws vs. Bobby Roode & Austin Aries


Columns of bright sunlight pierced the jungle canopy. This place was tranquil and still, a small stream bubbled away as rival birdlife shouted avian insults to one another through beautiful song. The peaceful scene was disturbed by a loud crack from nearby. The wildlife froze, silently listening for danger. Another crack followed by falling branches causing everything to flee; a Southern drawl could be heard approaching. A flash of a blade and another branch fell, clearing a path which Road Dogg stepped through. He walked into the clearing and looked back at his partner; a smirk crossed his face as he watched Billy struggle with a huge white cool box full of beer.

The bearded duo of Roode and Aries were feeling really confident. They had watched First Blood several times over the last few weeks, they had studied John Rambo, they had sharpened bamboo sticks and they had camouflaged face paint. They had tracked the Outlaws to a clearing at the edge of the forest; all they had to do was wait for the opportune moment. Roode took first watch as Aries slowly applied sunscreen to his partners back and upper thighs, taking extra care around the legs.

The Outlaws had settled in a clearing with a view of the beach. They settled down on their deckchairs and cracked open the first of many beers. They were confident that Roode and Aries would need their rest having battled only a day earlier so decided to enjoy the free minibar provided by the hotel. As usual Road Dogg chatted away while Gunn quietly drank the cold beer, happily listening to his motor mouth partner. They joked and laughed, enjoying the warmth of the midday sun.

Roode stared at his foes through the foliage. He knew the combination of the heat and the beer would make the Outlaws sleepy and docile. They should wait until both were inebriated then go for the easy kill. Roode took out his knife and began sharpening it on a rock just as he had seen on First Blood, slowly making the blade as blunt as a butter knife. Aries also glared at his target, he had fantasised about taking it down for long enough and now it was time.

At 3 o’clock, the Outlaws decided to go for some fishing. They had no rods or bait but a mixture of alcohol and enthusiasm convinced the pair they could wade out into the shallows and simply pluck the fish from the ocean. Obviously they caught nothing but it entertained them for a few hours.

While the foolish Outlaws frolicked in the sea, Roode and Aries began work on setting up various traps for their drunken opponents; if they tried to flee their attack they would be caught in their deadly web. They dug trenches with sharpened bamboo stick at the bottom of the hole. They ringed the area with tripwires and created an elaborate system involving a huge log and some vines. They were ready for them; it was their time to shine. Roode began muttering to himself, he was getting himself into the killing frame of mind. Aries too was getting ready, watching his partner and taking special care that his groin has enough camouflage paint on it.

At 5 o’clock both Gunn and James had given up on their futile fishing attempts. Sunburnt and tired, they retreated to their shaded area once more. More beers and more laughter followed as the two friends relaxed. Billy was the first to fall asleep, so Jesse drunkenly picked up a marker pen and drew whiskers on his comatose partner. Laughing to himself, Road Dogg felt his eyes grow heavier and gently fell into a deep sleep.

This was their moment. The Outlaws had fallen asleep in a drunken stupor, careless, reckless and helpless. Darkness fell so they picked up their machetes and gently made their way through the jungle landscape, trying to sneak as quietly as possible. They got within 4 feet of their foes when Aries stood on a twig, the crack was deafening in the silent woodland. The pair stood perfectly still, waiting for the Outlaws to wake, nothing happened. They stood next to their slumbering opponents, Aries next to Road Dogg and Roode by Billy Gunn, and raised their weapons in readiness. Roode gave the nod and both struck down with all of their force, decapitating the men.

The TNA pair let out an audible sigh of relief and allowed a little nervous laugh. Roode stretched out a congratulatory handshake which Aries gratefully accepted, bringing him in for a man hug which lasted a few seconds longer than it should have. Roode broke the embrace, saying they needed to find the heads of their victims to prove their victory. It didn’t take long despite the dark of the jungle canopy, both stood next to each other and cracked open a flare. Roode was holding the head of Dolph Ziggler, Aries holding Big E Langston’s. Panic set in, how did they confuse Big E Langston with Road Dogg? Adrenaline made the pair careless, running off into the jungle without taking the proper attention required. The ground gave way and both fell into a pit full of sharpened bamboo, impaling the men on their own booby traps.


Mr Ass woke with the morning sun in the jungle clearing, laughing as he drew glasses and a moustache on his still unconscious team mate with a marker pen he found near his chair. His mouth was dry, so he went in search of the stream that he could hear in the distance. He entered a clearing; two headless bodies were sitting in deckchairs. He looked around to see what happened and came across Roode and Aries, clearly dead, impaled on bamboo in a pit and holding hands. Billy returned to camp to tell his partner about their good fortune.

The remaining combatants couldn’t believe their eyes as Groucho Marx and a Blonde Cat emerged from the jungle with the carcasses of Austin Aries and Bobby Roode slung over their shoulders. Yet again, The New Age Outlaws had come out victorious.

Zzzorf Presents


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Volkoff & The Sheik vs. Team Rhodes Scholars


The camera flicked on.

We find ourselves looking at the door to the men’s washroom, which in all truth could really use a wash itself. A gloved hand appears from behind the camera and gives the door a little nudge before retreating back to once again hold the camera steady.

The door creaked open slowly.

The sound of Beethoven’s Symphony Number 5 filled the air. The camera searched the washroom looking for the source of the music. Finally the camera rested upon a Gramophone Player sitting on the end of the bench. The camera slowly moved along the bench showing numerous men’s grooming products sitting side by side, most with their lids sitting beside them. The camera continued to move, this time however moving up as it moved sideways. The mirrors started to come into view and with that the reflection of the owners of all the beauty products.

The Rhodes Scholars stood in front of the mirrors in their matching His and Hers bathrobes. While Damien Sandow is shown putting the finishing touches to his hair gel, Cody Rhodes is seen carefully trimming his moustache.

The music finally comes to a stop.

The room suddenly becomes eerily silent with the only sound being the clicking of Cody’s scissors and the sloshing of Damien’s hair. This goes on for a couple of seconds until suddenly out of one of the stalls someone starts singing incoherently.

“Союз нерушимый республик свободных
Сплотила навеки Великая Русь!
Да здравствует созданный волей народов
Единый, могучий Советский Союз! “


The two members of the Rhodes Scholars looked at each other, nodded their heads and started to proceed to the stalls either side of the one the sound came from.

The poor attempt at singing continued.

“Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Дружбы народов надёжный оплот!
Партия Ленина—сила народная
Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт! “


At the end of the chorus both Cody and Damien smashed through the walls, Cody landing face first in the toilet bowl, Damien on the flush button. Yet still the singing continued.

“Сквозь грозы сияло нам солнце свободы,
И Ленин великий нам путь озарил:
На правое дело он поднял народы,
На труд и на подвиги нас вдохновил! “


Upon pulling his head out of the toilet Cody surveyed the area and found a cassette player sitting on the floor playing a tape of Nikolai Volkoff singing the Soviet National Anthem. Cody bent down and picked up the player, not seeing the chords that led through a hole in the floor, something Sandow did see. However still being dazed from how he hit the toilet button he was unable to voice his observation and could not stop Rhodes from pressing the stop button.

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The place erupted from the bomb that was planted under the floor, triggered by Cody’s push of the button.

*************


The camera flicked on.

We find ourselves looking at the door to the women’s washroom, which in all truth could really use a wash itself. A gloved hand appears from behind the camera and gives the door a little nudge before retreating back to once again hold the camera steady.

The door creaked slowly open.

The sound of two men laughing filled the air. The camera searched the washroom looking for the source of the laughter finally coming to rest on the two men standing in the corner, peaking through two view holes in the wall. The Iron Sheik started to talk

“The Rhodes Scholars not in Iron Sheik class. Cody Rhodes have baby ant dick and Damien Sandow don’t respect the game he deserve me to break his back suplex him put him in camel clutch fuck his ass make him humble. Iran number 1, USA ptooie “

The door to the washroom flings open.

Nothing happened for a moment until finally Cody Rhodes comes stumbling in being held up by both of the Bella Twins, his head leaning on the enlarged chest area of Nikki. On spotting the two guys in the corner of the room Brie started to scream.

“THIS IS THE LADIES ROOM WHAT ARE YOU TWO DISGUSTING MEN DOING IN HERE? GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!”

The men dumbfounded by the fact that Cody was still alive and fearful of the enraged Bella both men started for the door. Unbeknownst to the pair Damien Sandow, holding his straight razor, lowered himself from the air vent in the ceiling and came up behind the Iron Sheik and in one foul motion scalped him, removing his brain in the process.

Sheik crumbled to the floor.

Rhodes sprung from his soft pillows and lunged at Nikolai Volkoff, thescissors he used to trim his moustache piercing straight through Nikolai’s jugular.

Nikolai crumbled to the floor.

Rhodes turned around to the Bellas to find that Michael Cole had entered the room with a microphone in hand.

“Good win today guys but as a former war correspondent I have to ask, how did you survive the blast?”

“Well Cole you know to look as Dashing as I do I have to spend a lot of time applying lotions to my skin. Well it just happens that while not only making me look this good the amount of products I have on my skin has made a good shield for my body. Nothing can no longer harm me.”

On saying this Cody and Damien both with a Bella on the arm leave Cole to clean up the Ladies washroom.

The camera Flicked off.

Now it’s up to you faithful readers. The finale of DOA is Team Hell No vs. The New Age Outlaws (Defending Champions) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars. Please send your vote of who you’d like to win DOA to me by either e-mailing me by clicking my name in the column header, sending your vote via Twitter, hitting me up at the Chair Shots Facebook page, or PM’ing me through the Columns Forum. Voting is open until the end of the day Saturday. After that, check back here for the final battle as we crown the winner of DOA 2013. I'd like to give a big thanks to Cult Icon, Sierra Bravo, Skulduggery, Dannokaboom, Zzzorf, Mizfan, Freeman, and Oliver for taking part in this craziness. Go check out the good work in the Columns Forum as well as Freeman and Zzzorf on the Main Page.

Semifinals Day One


I watched intently as the remaining teams gathered in the courtyard, noticing how this brief time on my island had changed many of them. Daniel Bryan, whose physical appearance was animalistic, was now devolving into a rabid beast before my eyes. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries were visibly shaken by the events of their battle with Goldust and Booker T., and the little surprise I sprung on them with ODB. If they survived this round, they would surely have to regroup to outlast the teams in the finals.

A few of the teams barely had a scratch on them, more for their ingenuity and complete lack of preparedness from their opponents. Money Inc. looked to be on vacation, and aside from an overabundance of sand in their boots, Volkoff & The Sheik were unscathed. The remaining two teams, Rhodes Scholars and the Outlaws had battles, and were showing some wounds, but they were nothing like what was ahead of them. It was time to address the survivors of Round One. The gong sounded, and the twelve remaining men turned to face me, but never fully taking their eyes off the other teams.

“Congratulations, you have survived the opening battles of DOA 2013. But for half of you, this is the end of the road. Some of you have embraced this island; others have had little trouble so far. That is all about to change. A spot in the three-way finale awaits you. Round Two has officially started.”

The gong sounds again, and the chaos continues….

Mizfan Presents


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Team Hell No vs. Money Inc


“Irwin, my old friend!” The Million Dollar Man chortled. “You worry too much! Nothing can touch us here.”

Irwin R. Schyster straightened his tie and pushed his glasses up from sliding down his nose with a grim determination that belied the simplicity of the act.

“I wish I had your confidence,” IRS said peevishly. “I don’t care for these men Virgil hired. Can you tell me they’ll be worth a penny when it comes to a fight?”

Theodore DiBiase the Senior looked over his fighting force as they patrolled the walls of their humble jungle fort. Finding the lumber to construct a modest mansion surrounded by high walls hadn’t been easy after the Big Red Monster Kane burned down half the forest, but as usual it had been available… for a price. Manning the battlements were such wrestling greats as the Brooklyn Brawler, and Iron Mike Sharpe. But while Schyster sweated, DiBiase only chuckled deeply.

“The price was right, wasn’t it? You’re the one who set a budget for us to stick to. It wasn’t cheap to fly in hired muscle, even for me. What’s the matter Irwin, wishing you’d splurged just this once?”

Irwin clutched his metal briefcase tightly to his chest and sat heavily behind the desk of the makeshift office he had set up beside the pool. The pool had been a nice touch, DiBiase thought absently. Otherwise it might have felt like a fortress for poor people.

“No, I suppose they’ll do. Cannon fodder is necessary to any successful villainous operation. I’m just not keen to face down that ferocious beast.”

“Kane’s not so bad, once you get to know him. Comes from a good family. I was the one who got his brother a job, remember? I’m practically like a father to him!” Ted mused with a sly grin.

“Don’t say that to his face, it’s a sensitive topic these days. Besides, I was talking about the other one.”

Ted was taken aback. “The little goat man?” he asked incredulously. “What could you possibly have to fear from him?”

“Did you hear what he did to Demolition? Collapsed a lung just from a headbutt. The little man is vicious, and very likely unhinged. Remember Waltman? It’s the little ones you have to watch out for. And don’t forget, they say the devil has the features of a goat as well.”

“Well, you can have your devil and I’ll have mine, if it comes to it.”

Irwin licked his lips and ran his fingers through his moist hair. “It’s the waiting that’s the worst of it.”

“No,” said Kane. “It’s not.”

And with that, the red behemoth suddenly standing astride their barrier threw his hands in the air and brought them down with a vengeance, and a jet of fire exploded out of the pool.

Boiling water sprayed in all directions as Money Inc dived behind the thick wooden desk. SD Jones caught the worst of it, dying with the first nine seconds of the attack (or was it twenty five seconds?). Iron Mike was caught by a jet as well, and he stumbled towards Kane in a daze of pain. Kane caught him by the throat and chokeslammed him down to the packed earth below where he continued to moan in agony. Barry Horowitz and the Brooklyn Brawler crowded in front of their employers as they continued to cower behind the desk, and they brandished long spears in the direction of the Big Red Machine, who only cocked his head and smiled widely.

Without a sound, Daniel Bryan dropped from the network of wires they had built connecting the trees above the compound, an axe in one hand and a long thin sword in the other. He landed so softly on the desk that Horowitz barely thought to turn his head before a quick flick of the Dazzler’s wrist drew a long red line across his throat. Barry dropped in a head as the Brawler turned, and with a roar he smashed the spear into the desk with reckless disregard for those hiding underneath. Bryan evaded the strike effortlessly, and buried the hatchet he carried deeply between the Brawler’s eyes. The man from Brooklyn staggered backwards with a look of resignation spreading across his divided face, and Bryan nimbly leapt down to deliver a bone cracking kick that sent the Brawler crashing into the still simmering pool. The blue water turned red as Bryan slowly turned his cool grey eyes and terrible bearded face back towards their true targets.

“Stay back!” Irwin squealed as Bryan and Kane started advancing. DiBiase scrambled back into the mansion as IRS protested and fumbled with his briefcase, afraid to turn his back. Bryan whipped out a knife and hurled it at Irwin, but he had the presence of mind to bash it aside with the sturdy metal. “I won’t go down so easily!” IRS screamed defiantly.

“That’s what makes it fun,” rumbled Kane as the pair continued to advance. IRS retreated up the steps leading to the house and was finally able to spring open his trusty case and retrieve the hefty crossbow hidden inside.

Pre-loaded, of course. IRS was not the kind of man to leave such things to chance.

Schyster whipped the weapon out and fired a bolt directly at Kane. It cracked through the already shattered remnants of the monster’s mask and embedded itself deeply in his skull. Kane’s head snapped back, and he took a few steps back. Bryan looked over his shoulder questioningly as Kane teetered. After a moment of hope, the bottom dropped out of Schyster’s stomach as he watched Kane nonchalantly reach up and dig the crossbow bolt out of his forehead and toss it aside.

Maybe DiBiase had been right about which of these inhuman creatures was more fearful.

“Stop messing around, idiot,” Bryan said. “You can kill this one, I’ll take care of DiBiase.”

“No,” Kane growled. “DiBiase is mine.”

Bryan shrugged. “Suit yourself.” And with that, he flew at Irwin, sword flashing. It was all Irwin could do to deflect the deadly blows with his thick metal case as Kane walked into the house with a grim smile on his bloody face.

*****


Kane stepped into the long hallway and peered through the dusk, in search of his prey. He caught a glimpse of movement at the far end and started towards it. Suddenly a shrill scream pierced the gloom, and a figure came charging down the length of room directly at Kane. Kane started in amazement as the slim figure of Gillberg became visible, and was too surprised to move before the little man attempted to spear him with all his force. Gillberg’s shoulder cracked audibly as it separated itself from the rest of his bones, and he fell to the side groaning in pain. Kane ground his heel against the wounds briefly, but unfortunately he couldn’t stay to enjoy the screams. He continued down the hallway with murderous glee in his eyes.

*****


Bryan pressed his advantage on Schyster and looked to finish the battle before his partner could do anything too gruesome. Bryan lunged forward with a deadly thrust, but Irwin dodged at the last moment and smashed his case against Bryan’s arm, knocking his strike wide. With his free hand Irwin suddenly produced a dagger, and with surprisingly speed he swung it into Bryan’s unprotected face. Bryan jerked back but was still grazed, and flecks of blood and hair flew from his cheek as he narrowly avoided the loss of both life and tournament.

“My beard! That’s my source of power!” Bryan cried!

“Really?” Irwin stopped, nonplussed.

“NO!” Bryan yelled, and launched a sickening kick to the side of Irwin’s head, knocking him over the stair railing and crashing to the ground below.

*****


Kane was halfway down the hallway when suddenly the floor opened beneath him. He dropped into the pit below with a heavy thud, and cursed himself for not watching more closely for traps. He looked up to see Virgil standing at the brim of the pit, laughing far too hard to himself. Kane wiped the smile off his face when he started to climb up out of the pit, but before Kane could claw his way back to the surface, Virgil produced a control from inside his vest, and with another attempt at a menacing laugh he pressed the large red button in the center. The pit filled with fire, and after a few well-placed kicks to Kane’s fingers the monster tumbled back into the flames.

Virgil grinned to himself in satisfaction. He again attempted to imitate his boss’s infamous laugh, but it turned into a scream when a flaming hand suddenly clasped around his ankle. Kane’s maniacal face appeared in the flame.

“I just gotta say… really poor choice of weapon,” Kane cackled, and he dragged the screaming Virgil into the flames with him. A few minutes later Kane crawled out, smoking but unharmed, and he continued on.

*****


Back outside, Bryan vaulted across the railings to finish off the accountant, but found nothing when he reached the ground. Looking around in bewilderment, he was suddenly caught in the face by the barbed end of a whip expertly cracked around the side of the house. Irwin reappeared around the corner as Daniel staggered back in agony, discarding his sword while trying to get the blood out of his eyes. As Bryan’s vision cleared, he saw that Schyster had removed his suspenders and revealed them to be a hidden weapon. Clever, Bryan had to admit. He had never seen it coming. Now it was Irwin’s turn to press his advantage, and whipping savagely he pursued the man with the now bloody goatface as he tried to avoid any further barbs.

*****


After ransacking every room in the house, at long last Kane made his way into the study of the Million Dollar Man, where DiBiase sat smirking with a heavy tome in hand, waiting for him. Kane smiled crookedly and started towards the evil tycoon, but his silver tongue stopped him in his tracks.

“What is it you want, Kane? You don’t even like that little goat you’re stuck with. What can I do for you? I can make you bigger than your brother, for one. I can make you even more famous, richer, maybe even happy. You can have the latest cutting edge medical attention and make you sane again, or if you prefer you can have an endless supply of victims and never need fear the law or the wrath of vengeance.” DiBiase leaned forward smoothly. “Anything you want Kane. So tell me, monster… what’s your price?”

*****


Scratched and bloody in a dozen places, Bryan was running out of places to run. Every time he tried to dart in and land a cripplingly blow, Schyster would fend him off with that damned case and strike a few blows with the whip for good measure. When he tried to pick up a weapon, IRS would sink the barbs into his arm. He was getting damned frustrated, but couldn’t afford to make a mistake or it would be the end of him. Dancing back from another whip strike, Bryan reached down to pick up his sword, only to suddenly feel the barbs of the whip digging deeply into the meat of his arm and sticking there. The whip wrapped around his whole arm and hand, trapping him in place.

IRS sighed. “It’s been fun, little goat, but I don’t have all day for this. When we win this tournament we’re going to turn it into the greatest marketing tool you’ve ever seen. Money Inc lunchboxes, Money Inc keychains, a Money Inc motion picture… We’re going to be able to buy the world, little man, and we’re not going to be stopped by a guy who looks like he lives on the streets.” Schyster reached into his case with his free hand and retrieved again the crossbow within. Loading it with care as Bryan struggled against the whip holding it in place, Irwin sighed again as he aimed for the goat man’s head. “It’s a damn shame too. You could have made an excellent servant.”

Bryan did not reply, but instead calmed himself. He though back to the teachings of Doctor Shelby, and found a center of peace inside him. “Yes, yes, yes” he started muttering to himself. IRS furrowed his brow in concern, but continued to aim at Bryan’s head. “Yes, yes, yes!” Bryan was getting louder, and Irwin was getting more nervous. “YES, YES, YES!” Bryan shouted, and IRS fired.

“YEEEEEEEEEES!” Bryan shouted, and with all his passion harnessed and focused, in a blindingly fast movement, he caught the crossbow bolt as it sped towards his head, and without missing a beat swung the shaft around and sent it flying straight back at its original owner.

Schyster didn’t even have time to register the superhuman feat before the bolt lodged itself in his throat. He dropped the whip and the case as well, and feebly scraped at his penetrated trachea.

“YES! YES!” Bryan bellowed, filled with berserker energy. “YEEEEEEEEEEES!” He finally screamed, and with a bone shattering movement, he fucking kicked Irwin R. Schyster’s head in.

*****


“The devil only has one price, DiBiase, and you know what that is,” said Kane.

For a moment, two incalculably evil pairs of eyes met, and the pair that matched broke first. Ted sighed. “I was afraid you would say that… Junior!” He called out.

Ted DiBiase Jr stepped from the shadows, a great longsword in his hand.

“I am the heir to the DiBiase legacy, monster,” he said. “And I shall not let you lay a hand on my father! Do your worst, creature!”

Kane only laughed. Ted Jr brandished his sword in confusion for a moment, and then with a heavy thud a thick, dusty tome connected with the back of his head. Ted Jr went down in a heap at Kane’s feet, and his father stood over him. He sighed again.

“I know he’s not the firstborn son, but you don’t want Mike. He’s even more pathetic than this one is,” Ted said sadly.

Kane cackled. “Oh, he’ll do nicely.”

Ted Sr smiled thinly. “Well, a deal’s a deal. You’ll kill off that little partner of yours?”

“I would gladly,” Kane growled with an evil grin, “But he already killed your accountant.”

Ted Sr glanced out the window. “So I see… somehow, I’m not surprised. I always knew Irwin would come to a bad end. I thought heart attack, but somehow this makes sense.” He turned back to the monster. “But you’ll keep the rest of the bargain, yes?”

Kane reached over and grabbed the Million Dollar Man by the throat and squeezed, considering. For a tense moment DiBiase wondered if it had been all for nothing. Finally, Kane released him. “His life for yours. Even a monster has his honor.”

Ted smiled again, massaging his throat. It wasn’t perhaps the best deal he had ever made, but at the moment it seemed well worth the price of one worthless son to stay alive.

Kane leaned in close to Ted. “Don’t push it though. Get out of here before I change my mind.” And with that, Kane dragged Ted Jr out of the room and left the father alone with his thoughts… his thoughts, and the son’s screams as he slowly regained consciousness.

*****


By the time Kane stepped out of the house, the moon was shining brightly.

“Whatcha got there?” Bryan asked through a mouthful of grass.

“You’re actually eating grass now? I think you’re taking this goat stuff too far,” Kane remarked.

“Speaking of taking things too far, is that a head?” Bryan asked.

Kane lifted the head of Ted DiBiase Jr up into the moonlight.

“Ugh!” Bryan said. “We weren’t even supposed to fight him! Why the hell would you do that?”

“Oh right, like you’re the picture of restraint,” Kane grumbled, prodding the caved in skull of IRS with his boot.

“That was totally different! He was really pissing me off. Plus, we were actually supposed to kill him! What you did was totally overkill! What were you thinking?”

“You know what?” Kane snapped testily. “I’m in too good a mood for you to ruin it right now with your constant whining! I’m not going to argue with you!”

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

Kane lit the remainder of the fort on fire as they bickered their way out the gate. For them, the fun of Dead Or Alive Island was just beginning.

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