Chair Shots: One Case, Two Case, Red Case, Blue Case 2013
Jul 9, 2013 - 9:11:56 AM
TripleR comes back to LOP Radio on July 12 at 6:30PM EST for the second edition of “Trippin’ Out”. We will be doing a Money in the Bank Preview Show, along with our picks for the event. We’ll have another edition of “Trip’s Picks” and much, much more. Please tune in for the first part of the July 12th doubleheader, The Right Side of the Pond, featuring Mazza and his UK crew. Hope to see you then!
Here we are once again. Yes it’s that time of year.
No not time for the Fade God to get knocked on his rear.
It’s time for two cases, one red and one blue,
To hang from their hooks, because that’s what they do.
For the red case, last year didn’t end up so nice
As the cash-in had failed, like craps playing dice.
But the blue case was happy; a new champ was crowned
As Ziggler cashed in with a deafening sound.
But a new year’s upon us; a new chance for glory,
As the cases get claimed at the end of this story.
Who will win? We will watch on our video screen.
It’s Money in the Bank, Two Thousand Thirteen.
Before we commence to the real Pay Per View,
There’s a match right before, just one though not two.
The Shield will defend on this PPV pre-show
Against two men rarely seen, with the last name of Uso.
The two men in black put their belts on the line,
But they’ve nothing to fear; they’ll come out just fine.
The Uso’s will fight, give one thousand percent,
Then they’ll lose and end up right back on Main Event.
The IC belt’s on the line, held by Curtis Axel,
Who makes me so sad that I might need some Paxil.
His opponent, The Miz, who thinks he’s quite great,
But he makes those damn duck lips, which I really hate.
Who will win this encounter? I really don’t care.
But this I will tell you. This one thing I swear.
If the Miz screws up putting on Ric’s Figure Four,
Flair should take it away and say “That’s it, no more!”
Y2J’s in the ring, which is always quite fun.
His opponent is Ryback, who’s push is quite done.
He yells “Ryback Rules” and then “Feed Me More”,
But he’s pinned to the ground more than a ten dollar whore.
The Divas will fight, one that’s sane; one deranged.
I look forward to this, and that’s something that’s changed.
For once there’s a tale to be told, yes a story.
Not just hot chicks in the ring, quite masturbatory.
Kaitlyn, the victim, looks to get back her strap.
But AJ just taunts her, causing Kaitlyn to snap.
She skips ‘bout the ring full of evil and sass,
And how could I forget…..oh man, what an ass!
The Blue Case will get hung from a hook on this night
There are seven competing. They got the invite.
There’s Sandow and Rhodes, Cesaro and Wade.
None of them have a chance to win I’m afraid.
That’s leaves Dean Ambrose, and also Jack Swagger,
And Fandango, who does not have moves just like Jagger.
While I wish that Fandango would just Tango away,
I fear he might capture the blue case this day.
For a shot at the belt, that Del Rio now holds,
These men must be brave, these men must be bold.
But before it’s their turn, there is one man ahead.
A man with blonde locks and a once concussed head.
They fought once before. Zigs was kicked in the skull.
Hit so hard he forgot that Del Rio was dull.
Now a rematch is signed to decide who’s the best.
If Del Rio’s victorious, I will be quite depressed.
But questions persist, will his lady be there?
Will she be by his side at the circle that’s square?
Will Big E. be present? Will he be there at all?
Will he continue to wear a singlet too small?
John Cena defends in one Main Event,
Against a man with some anger, with much bad intent.
Mark Henry wants gold, wants his own title reign,
And John Cena inducted into his Hall of Pain.
Henry fooled the whole world when he said he was done.
To his wife he would go, to his daughter and son.
But he swerved those that watched, and swerved Cena too.
Slamming John to the mat because “That’s What He Do!”
Henry is a big threat to the belt Cena holds.
He’ll break him in pieces, and bend him in folds.
He might win the title, to this I assert.
But if Cena loses, there’s still a belt on his shirt.
At last it’s the Red Case’s turn in the card.
7 All-Stars will battle, quite fierce and quite hard.
They’re all faces, or guys that the fans like to cheer.
One yells “Yes!” and then “No!” like a loud auctioneer.
But to him we’ll return once we look at the rest,
As there’s 6 other men who’ve already impressed.
There’s Orton, and Christian and the Big Red Machine,
And Sheamus and Punk who is straight edge and clean.
RVD will return to the ring on this night.
The ladder, no problem, as he’s high as a kite.
He’ll jump and he’ll kick ‘fore he runs out of gas.
When he’s done, to the back for a quick “puff, puff, pass.”
But this night will belong to the one I’ll promote,
With the moves of a madman and face like a goat.
Daniel Bryan will win if things don’t go awry.
And hold up the Red Case o’er his head oh so high.
The night will be great. The night will be grand.
And two men will hold fate in the palm of their hand.
Wait for the right time, yes that’s what they’ll do,
As two cases they have, one red and one blue!
Until next time,
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