Chair Shots: Nepotism- It's Not a Country in Asia
Feb 5, 2014 - 11:04:28 AM
Welcome back everyone to the column that isn’t headlining Wrestlemania because I just don’t know the right people- Chair Shots! It’s been a crazy week in the world of professional wrestling. CM Punk has (as of this writing) quit the WWE. Rumours of Sting signing with the WWE are running rampant. Now there are further talks of an unhappy WWE locker room due to a certain someone’s return. Let’s play a little game children. This one is called “What Do These Things Have in Common”.
• Batista returns to the WWE and immediately is thrust into the Main Event at Wrestlemania
• Randy Orton, who hasn’t shown he can draw a World Champion, reigns as top man in the WWE.
• The New Age Outlaws, not full-time roster members, are the Tag Team Champions after a 14-year drought holding the belts, winning them on their first challenge to RhodesDust.
• Kevin Nash makes an appearance in the Rumble, wasting a spot that could have been given to a more deserving active wrestler who doesn’t die his hair so he doesn’t look 80 years old.
• The Royal Rumble panel consisted of Shawn Michaels, and what appeared to be a drunk off his
ass Ric Flair.
Did you follow the bouncing ball children? If your answer was anything other than Triple H, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for your IWC Membership Card back. Without a doubt, Triple H has a hell of a lot of power right now. He’s head of talent relations, heavily in control of creative, and gets to see Stephanie McMahon naked whenever he wants. But so far, a lot of Triple H’s decisions seem to be based more on what’s best for his friends, than what is best for business.
Triple H’s first real signing was bringing in Sin Cara to the WWE in attempts to broaden the Hispanic fan base with a top luchadore star. However, there wasn’t much forethought put into what would happen once Sin Cara was signed. For one, he spoke not a word of English, so there would be no opportunity for promos. Two, he was told once he got here that he couldn’t wrestle his lucha style and had to adapt to the WWE style of wrestling with little to no time to learn how to work like that. I don’t blame Sin Cara one bit for his failures. He was put in a no-win situation from the start, and no one is to blame for that except for Triple H, who didn’t think through how to make it work.
Since then, Triple H and Stephanie have once again graced our screens as “The Authority”, blurring the lines between real life and WWE storyline. While this has certainly provided wrestling fans with a lot to talk about it hasn’t always gone as planned, and thus far Triple H seems unwilling to change the direction he wants to go, regardless of what the fans want. Since the storyline began, the term “best for business” has been thrown around about a billion times, and as the heel figures, it does make perfect sense for Triple H and Stephanie to do some of the things they are doing, but couldn’t those choices have been made slightly differently?
Did an aging New Age Outlaws really needs to be the ones to take the Tag Team belts off of Cody Rhodes and Goldust, on the first time they met them? It certainly doesn’t make the rest of your tag team division look good, when teams like the Usos, The Real Americans, and The Shield couldn’t get done what two guys who haven’t wrestled regularly in years did in ten minutes. While Triple H says one of his focuses is to build the tag team division, having the Outlaws win the belts actually hurt the credibility of all the other teams currently there; teams that have busted their asses night in and night out to make a name for themselves. Oh wait, I forgot the title of my column already.
Everybody remembers the Royal Rumble right? You know, the night where the fans booed Rey Mysterio out of the building for being #30 instead of Daniel Bryan. Yeah, that’s the one. Well let me ask you, what purpose did Kevin Nash have in that match? The pop for him was mild at best, and he was eliminated in very short order. Sure it boosted sales of Just For Men Hair Color briefly, but it certainly didn’t add to the match very much. I can see the conversation now.
“Hunter, can I be in the Royal Rumble?”
“Yeah sure, who wants to see Daniel Bryan anyway when they can get Big Daddy Cool. Everybody loves The Clique.”
So that brings us to where we are today. As things stand now, a man that hasn’t wrestled for the WWE in over four years is the #1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. CM Punk has left the company, apparently disgruntled over Dave’s immediate place in the card. Daniel Bryan is currently set to face Triple H as WM, in a match that nobody believes he will win. And most recently, Alberto Del Rio has expressed frustration at going from being one of the top guys in the company to being fed to Batista for a warm-up match to see if he can wrestle more than 5 minutes before he passes out from exhaustion.
The following tip is brought to Dave Batista from Chair Shots:
Stop wearing those ridiculous tight pants. They’re cutting off your blood flow, and apparently your ability to wrestle without being winded.”
Some recent comments on Twitter mentioned that losing ADR might be a good thing for the WWE, but I firmly disagree with those statements. Alberto Del Rio has been a work horse for the WWE since his arrival. While he hasn’t always clicked with the crowds like they probably hoped, he certainly is a solid in-ring worker who has shown he can work well with just about anybody. He also has the Hispanic presence that the WWE needs to broaden their markets. Let’s face it, Rey Mysterio is on his last legs (literally) and the Sin Cara experiment was a complete bust. Like him or not, Alberto Del Rio is a strong commodity for the WWE to keep around.
I completely agree with Punk and Del Rio being upset with Batista’s immediate placement in the WWE queue. I mean what did he do in the past year in the WWE to deserve to Main Event the biggest card of the year? Oh that’s right, he wasn’t in the WWE in the past year, but he’s best friends with Triple H. Remember that word up in the title up there; it continues to rear its ugly head. When I think of Wrestlemania’s Main Event, I think of a match that has been a long time in the making; a match that the fans have been clamoring for with anticipation. It should be a match that caps off the WWE year with excitement and a fever pitch. Instead, as of right now, we get Batista vs. Randy Orton. That doesn’t smell like a WM Main Event to me. But hey, they’re Triple H’s friends, so we’re just supposed to accept that right?
Wrestlemania is quickly becoming a card that fans wait for with baited breath, only to be let down once it occurs. As it stands now, I’m not all that excited to watch Wrestlemania, but then again I’m also not one of Triple H’s close friends. I was never much of an ass-kisser, so I don’t really see me becoming one either. But at the end of the day, Triple H needs to start acting more like a businessman who makes the right creative decisions for the company, and less of a businessman who makes creative decisions to benefit his friends. You’ve already had one superstar walk out on you, with another talking about leaving as well. The locker room is disgruntled. Morale is low. If he doesn’t get the train back on the tracks, there is going to be a major problem very soon.
Let me know your thoughts on the subject. Hit me up with comments below, or you can find me on Twitter, Chair Shots FB page, or shoot me an email. And as usual, thanks for reading.
Until next time,
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