Posted in: The Eyes of a Monkey The Eyes of a Monkey # 62: The Man Who Sold the World
By Dr. Monkey
Apr 23, 2009 - 12:00:01 AM
The Eyes of a Monkey # 62: The Man Who Sold The World
Well I don't do the whole intro thing too many times but I figured I'd say a few things that may help piece together the things that are running through my mind right now. First up, even though I'm late to the party I finally got to see "The Wrestler." Having missed it in the theater I was pretty pumped to finally pick this bad boy up and my night spent watching it didn't disappoint in the slightest. Conveniently some of the themes of the film parallel the ideas I've had in my head for today's column. I think one of the things that hit me the hardest in the film was the aftermath of Rourke's hardcore match with Necro Butcher. To think of some of the promos Foley has cut in his prime about hardcore wrestling and then seeing the aftermath of such an affair was an eye opener of sorts. We as fans clamor for more and more, failing to realize that it is us who drive those we adore to their breaking point. Just something to keep in the back of your head the next time you are watching some crazy hardcore bout and the fans keep begging the wrestlers to take the violence to new levels. Is it really worth it in the end? It seems that Jeff Hardy may have finally answered no to that question.
I'd also like to speak a little about the state of mind I'm approaching my current body of work with. I'm to a point that I refuse to put an idea (no matter how crazy) that comes to me on the back burner. Thankfully I've created an avenue for that mindset and a way to keep the more random side of my personality totally separate from my Dr. Monkey persona. However, I assure you that if you are willing to take the full unfiltered voyage with me you may be surprised at how much of a method there is to my madness. I look at it as an Andy Kaufman joke. Not everyone is going to get it or like it and I'm fully prepared for that. Those who do get it though, and see it for more than what the surface shows will call it genius. Well maybe not genius, but you'll dig it.
That being said I think it's time to get the wheels moving before I bore you all to tears with my overbearing self hype.
I Sold Out?
We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago
Fourteen years, I wrestled for fourteen years perfecting my craft and going up the road with some of the most well known names in the business. Hell I broke into the business as a second generation wrestler with a guy named Ted Dibase. Sound familiar? People don't mention me and the word legacy together very often though. The rat pack man, what a group of guys we were. Me, Dibase, and Duggan just as green as could be but you couldn't tell us that. We had the world in our hands. Those days are long gone I'm afraid replaced with memories. Even the memories have become a bit hazy, but I doubt it has to do with old age. To say I wasn't kind to my body over the years is a bit of an understatement. Then again, we didn't know what we were doing back then. Nobody ever talked about addiction back in my day, it was all about having a good time.
I wasn't different than anybody else, except now I watch my former colleagues have the tag "legend" attached to their name. The adjectives that are usually attached to my name are anything but legendary. Washed up, has been, never was, coat tail rider, none of these sound like the qualities of a "legend." My work ethic was just as hard yet as the next guy, yet who talks about me being on the first Wrestlemania card? It's like Steamboat was in the ring by himself that night. The Von Erichs were a historical wrestling family with countless numbers of feuds and matches. Yet one match people don't ever talk about is my parking lot brawl with Kerry. This was 1990, this wasn't "Attitude Era" or some throw away b.s. Indy fed. What we did that night was borderline ground breaking.
How about WCW? They used to call it where the big boys play at one point in time. With guys like Flair and Sting alone it was hard to argue. Let's not forget about the historic first ever African-American World Heavyweight champion Ron Simmons whom I had a history with. Me and Ron captured the WCW US Tag Titles just a few months removed from my reign as part of the Six Man Tag champs. Of course in a show of more of the same, Ron is widely remembered while I'm simply an afterthought. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my past companions but there comes a time where it's a hard spill to swallow. Seeing everyone around you become a historical wrestling figure while most couldn't pick me out in a crowd.
It's funny how that works when you think about it. I kind of inadvertently killed two birds with one stone, in terms of being noticed. If WCW wasn't the place for you, perhaps WWF was. Sometimes when people viewed themselves as too plain they look to something drastic to change the way they are perceived. I'd be no different and even though it took some soul searching, I thought the move was best for me. Something just told me that WWF was going to be my rebirth, and I was right. I guess sometimes it just pays to be wrong though.
He Who Dons the Mask
I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home
I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazely stare at all the millions here
We must have died along, a long long time ago
Fourteen years, that's the amount of time I put into the business at this point. Yet I had nothing to show for it, just another face in the crowd. Vince offered me a spot though. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Having another chance in a big promotion, yet having to go against my old school mentality was a hard thing for me to do. Yet something about that make-up and that clown costume just seemed to be a new beginning for me. For years I never really understood why a wrestler would want to cover themselves up, but when I became Doink I understood.
Under the make-up I could be anybody or anything I wanted to be. Matt Osbourne, Matt Borne, Big Josh, none of those names mattered when I was the clown. I didn't have any reputation to live up to, nor did I have any preconceived expectations. I was just Doink, and that was it. It took me years but I would finally get a chance to shine at Wrestlemania again. I couldn't help but feel that I owed the clown a bit of gratitude. Almost as if we were two separate entities. On one side you had a broken down wrestler, and on the other side you had a fresh face who could generate heat at the drop of his hat. A heel was something that I felt I could just generally do, maybe because I feel I'm good at being an asshole.
A face on the other hand was a bit more challenging. Making people like you is so much harder than making people hate you. I mean I was good at getting the kids on my side but they are easy to sway. Beat up on the bad guys and 90% of the kid audience is swayed. Thus I think it was a stupid move making me a good guy. It was so easier spraying water in kids' faces or beating up guys with a fake arm attachment. Plus I respected the extra effort of making people boo me. Being a good heel is an art form, a craft that I respect more than most aspects of the business.
My stint in WWF was short lived though, like I said I'm better at being an asshole than being a good guy. Drugs have always been my vice and over time they started to take pieces of my life from me. So it only made sense that they took my job from me as well. Like I said man, we were out for a good time in my day and nobody knew anything about the dangers. By the time I found out the negativity involved the hooks were already too deep inside me to turn back. That's life though and even though I wanted so badly for Doink to be a whole new person, at the end of the day I was still the same old Matt. Losing my job though wasn't the hardest thing, it was what Vince stole from me that really broke me down.
I'll give credit where credit is due, Vince is a smart businessman. So smart in fact that he owned my name. After my exit from WWF I could no longer portray the Doink character. I had to sit back and watch on television as some other goon came out and donned the costume of a character that was me. When I went around to other federations I had to get the stares as if I was the impostor. They didn't understand that just because Doink the Clown was still on their television screen didn't mean that it was the man who always portrayed the character. It was around this time that I started to question my future and how much longer I could continue to hide my dark past and secrets behind this facade of a clown character.
The Night Dweller
Who knows? not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world
The last stop on my tour would be the land of extreme. To say it wasn't really my cup of tea would be quite the understatement of the year. You are talking about a guy who grew up wrestling in the late 70's. Sure me and Kerry did our thing in the early 90's but doing it night in and night out just seemed like a bit much to me. Needless to say my stay there was short lived. It was around this time that I started thinking that maybe I would never get a chance to make my mark. Maybe I was just destined to be without a legacy for my career. Then maybe all this time I had the wrong idea of what a legacy really is.
One night someone came to me. He was a figure as dark as the shadows he emerged from. He told me that I had a greater purpose in life, one that transcended everything I had every accomplished in my life. A purpose that could help create the legacy I so desired but at a cost. While I would be involved in something that would change the wrestling world, nobody could or would know who the perpetrator of these acts was. I would have to don the costume of Doink but for much different reasons. It was to become my alter ego, and my calling card. The clown would become my version of a super hero.
The shadow figure was never very specific of the details other than to say that I would know when I needed to become the clown and that my life energy would forever be tied to that of my wrestling brethren. When something was out to upset the force of our world, I would know. What I didn't understand was why were wrestlers being treated as such special beings. I guess some things were left for me to find out. At the end of our conversation I was offered a choice: go back to sleep and forget about everything or become something bigger than I could ever dream of being. I didn't know what exactly that was but I knew that he was offering me the world in the palm of my hands. Would I accept the gift or would I sell it short? How could I resist, nobody wants to be known as the man who sold the world.
Final Thoughts
That's gonna do it for this edition. I'm sure some of you are still under the assumption that I'm crazy as hell but hopefully some of you are starting to see the direction I may or may not be heading in. Either way I hope you continue to take the journey with me.
As always I am Dr. Monkey, and you've just seen the world through my eyes.
Please send all feedback to monkeyweasel9821@yahoo.com
