Posted in: Taste My Rainbow TMR [62] - Cementing A Legacy One Could Only Dream Of
By SkittleZ
Nov 1, 2009 - 4:24:55 PM
[62] - Cementing A Legacy One Could Only Dream Of
My name is S-K-I-T-T-L-E-Z / This is for all you that can't pronounce it properly / I'm here to get in your head and fuck things up / Make you think crazy shit... corrupt and disrupt. Oh please excuse the randomness, ladies and gentlemen. The blurb was from a "rap" I wrote back in my high school days. See that's what growing up in the suburbs will do to a kid. Nonetheless, I'm LOP's resident sugar freak and I've pulled another one outta the closet. TMR is finally running on all cylinders after a dry spell during the second half of summer. Just feels awesome to be back in the game (not that I'm any good at it mind you). Halloween might be over but don't think you'll escape an extended stay on the toilet once all that candy works its' way through those intestines. To be safe, snag an extra roll of toilet paper before heading into the bathroom because accidents of such graphic nature suck smelly vagina. The Candyman speaks from experience unfortunately. Now set the sweets down for a few minutes and do something productive, cockus.
Adam Copeland's a master of his craft yet classifying him as a WWE legend is nearly laughable. How is that even remotely possible? Because while Edge may be a nine time World Champion, none of those reigns have surpassed four months in length. Sure the company heavily relies on him but to what extent? The 2001 King of the Ring winner has failed to enjoy that classic reign atop the WWE like all-time greats such as Triple H and John Cena. And with Copeland being exposed to main event success for several years, it only seems inevitable that a decline lurks around the next corner. The chance to obtain iconic status has all but evaporated and it's now or never for The Master Manipulator. Edge is returning from a devastating injury; hungrier than ever to recapture the belt he knows all too well. The date remains uncertain until the ultimate opportunity presents itself...
WrestleMania XXVI (03.28.2010)
Money in the Bank. Bodies are strewn all over the ring. Some motionless on the mat and others lying elsewhere under piles of debris. However one of the seven individuals were missing in action. That being Dolph Ziggler who failed a drug test less than two weeks prior to the event and was suspended for 30 days. His spot stayed vacant until now. The mighty Jack Swagger had just destroyed Rey Mysterio with a gutwrench power bomb when Edge appeared from the crowd and slid into the ring unnoticed. Copeland blindsided Swagger with a spear and scaled an erected ladder to retrieve the MITB briefcase. Fans were unsure how to react initially but met the long awaited return of Edge with rousing cheers.
The streak was indeed still intact however there would be no victory celebration for The Deadman at this particular WrestleMania. For the reigning World Heavweight Champion Chris Jericho had intentionally gotten himself disqualified to keep the title from leaving his waist. This treacherous act would be met with consequence immediately after the match as Undertaker silenced the weasel with a tombstone. The Phenom left a disappointed soul but another would prosper from the incident. With all hope lost, Adam Copeland emerged from backstage with his newly acquired briefcase in hand. An exhausted Jericho sensed danger as the bell sounded and opted for the easy way out. The coward lunged at the challenger with the belt as a weapon but missed his target. Edge watched him run face first into the top turnbuckle and ended the shenanigans with a vicious spear. With the World Heavyweight Championship held above his head, The Ultimate Opportunist met the crowd with a familiar grin.
With two questionable acts, Adam Copeland had shook World Wrestling Entertainment down to its' very foundation. But the wrestling community had come to expect such things from The Master Manipulator due to his dirty tactics. Once the shock wore off, Edge would surely cough up the title to another SmackDown talent at the following pay per view event. It was usually academic... not this time though. Something was different. Adam Copeland was a changed man with a fresh new attitude. Edge had exacted revenge on the bastard whom he'd shared the Unified Tag Team Titles with the previous year. He now portrayed that of a babyface but was it all simply a swerve? The new World Heavyweight Champion allowed the fans to warm up to him in a way they hadn't in almost six years. Copeland's popularity was matched though by the man from Death Valley; someone Edge had battled many times in the past. Much more was at state now than ever before.
Extreme Rules (05.23.2010)
Both opponents wiped dirt from their sweaty foreheads as war waged on. The Undertaker sensed the end as well as closure to this storied feud. He picked up Edge and attempted a tombstone. The Ultimate Opportunist wasn't ready to call it quits and slid off The Deadman's shoulders. The aging Phenom turned around a second too slow as Copeland drilled his foe with a spear. Their bodies fell into the empty grave and the scene froze for nearly a minute until Edge rose from the black hole. As the Ultimate Opportunist reached for the shovel, Undertaker's head popped up out of the grave. A startled Edge reacted with violence by bashing The Deadman over the head with the ominous tool. The Phenom disappeared into the grave and Copeland buried his foe with several shovels of dirt. Edge was handed the World Heavyweight Title by the referee as he surveryed his surroundings. The Rated R Superstar had brought The Undertaker's career to a definitive end.
After failing to vanquish The Deadman on multiple occasions in 2008, Adam Copeland had finally rid himself of The Phenom forever. Fans would expect him to rehabilitate and show up again a couple months down the road but those select individuals were terribly wrong. This was an improved Edge and he's accomplished the unthinkable. His peers would soon commend him and bulid a newfound respect for The Rated R Superstar. If only Copeland could keep his grasp on the World Heavyweight Championship. The reign was approaching two months - something six of his previous nine failed to do. Edge's days with the belt were numbered critics figured. It would be up to The Rated R Superstar to change the perception of his inconsistent career.
Night of Champions (07.25.2010)
The last man standing stipulation had all but worn out its' welcome in this case. Edge and Big Show managed to avoid being counted out for over twenty minutes by this point. The giant placed the steel stairs next to an announce table and grabbed his opponent around the neck. TBS signaled for a chokeslam but was highly unsuccessful on this night. Copeland wiggled free, grabbed a stray steel chair and blasted Big Show in the left knee with the foreign object. As the giant clutched at his leg, The Ultimate Opportunist raced up the steel stairs and lifted the mammoth challenger off his feet. They crashed through the announce table and it was with tremendous struggle that Edge stood upright. Copeland leaned against the ringpost to catch his breath and looked away as the referee registed the ten count. TBS made it up just in time and charged at an unexpecting Edge. The Rated R Superstar ducked at the last moment and Big Show ran face first into the ringpost.
The Ultimate Opportunist then wasted no time in picking up the chair and delivering a thunderous con-chair-to on the giant against the ringpost. The Big Show crumpled to his knees and the ref finished the ten count. A beaten and battered champion exited with the World Heavyweight Title slung over his shoulder.
The beast had been slain. All appeared well in control for The Rated R Superstar but nothing could be farther from the truth. Adam Copeland's reign was drawing extremely close to four months; the longest of his WWE tenure. Unfortunately, the very man he stole the title from was back in the picture and desperately wanted to end Edge's stint as World Champion. Despite valiant efforts at SummerSlam and Breaking Point, Chris Jericho couldn't force Copeland to relinquish the belt. However there were still matters to settle as the latter encounter had concluded in controversy. Irritated by Edge's utter refusal to tap, Jericho would not release The Rated R Superstar from the Walls of Jericho. Copeland rattled the bottom rope with his hands but it was to no avail. The referee had no other choice but to disqualify Jericho who kept the submission clamped on for several seconds after the bell. Edge retained the title obviously but it was clear that Chris Jericho wasn't giving up without a fight. Suffice to say, it was time to raise the stakes.
Hell In A Cell (10.3.2010)
In the final minutes, Jericho aims for the lionsault however comes up empty as Copeland rolls out of the way. The Rated R Superstar steps back and charges his adversary with a spear but slams through a table propped up in the corner when Jericho leaps over Edge. With The Ultimate Opportunist currently disabled, Jericho grabs two ladders and erects them in the ring next to each other. Jericho drags Copeland's limp body up one of the ladders and hangs him on the top rung. The cocky Chris Jericho summons a steel chair from ringside and revisits Copeland atop the ladders. Jericho hoists up the chair for usage but Edge catches him by surprise with a kick that sends the foreign object bouncing off the heel's face. The Ultimate Opprtunist capitalizes by drilling Jericho off the ladder with an implant DDT. The Rated R Superstar slowly drapes his arm over Jericho for the three count.
The naysayers and non-believers were disintegrating before his very eyes. What could they say? What facts were there to argue? Adam Copeland had reigned over SmackDown as World Heavyweight Champion for close to half a year. He'd just wrapped up what was most likely the feud of 2010 with Chris Jericho. Edge was competing at a higher level than ever before. There were no signs of slowing down for The Rated R Superstar. But an old ally was ready to step forward and propose a challenge to the hottest commodity on WWE television. After being drafted over to the blue brand during the summer, Edge & Christian had renewed their old friendship. This led to a dream tag team bout versus D-Generation X at Bragging Rights and both men participating for the winning team at Survivor Series. While an alliance between the two Canadians was evident, the World Heavyweight Title was most important and Christian just so happened to be the number one contender.
Tables, Ladders & Chairs (12.19.2010)
We'd seen the insane spots in years' past yet they never ceased to amaze us. Edge and Christian throw caution to the wind as they devote the entire bout to appeasing the crowd with jaw dropping maneuvers. That includes The Ultimate Opportunist spearing his former partner off a 20-foot ladder as well as Christian hitting Edge with a reverse DDT off the top rope. In an image reminiscent of WrestleMania XVI, the multi-time Tag Team Champions are battling on a table propped up on top of two ladders. Christian gains the upper hand and tries to connect with the Killswitch on The Rated R Superstar. Copeland shrugs his challenger and knocks him off the structure. Christian falls out of the ring and obliterates four stacked tables erected at ringside. With Christian immobilized, Edge reaches up and pulls down the World Heavyweight Title.
There are instances when one must put their personal feelings aside for the greater good which is exactly what Adam Copeland had done. Edge went toe-to-toe with the very man who knew him better than anyone and still walked away victorious. The fans, locker room and pro wrestling community in general were buying into The Rated R Superstar as a legitemate world champion however they hadn't seen anything yet. The Ultimate Opportunist still needed to prove his dominance to those unwilling to see the light. Copeland was indeed the real deal and openly invited any challenger to step up to the plate. The epic title reign closed in on nine months thanks to heroic efforts by the Canadian on a weekly basis. How long would the momentum carry Edge? In this line of work, only as far as the next championship defense. A brash young star prepared to knock Copeland from his throne however the overwhelming arrogance of the intruder would do him no favors whatsoever.
Royal Rumble (01.30.2011)
Ziggler controls the majority of the match by implementing his strength to wear down The Rated R Superstar. The resilient champion retaliates with bursts of offense every minute or so but the challenger meets him with a counter every time. That is until he tries to land a leg drop bulldog. The Ultimate Opportunist moves out of the way and connects with the Edge-o-matic for a very close nearfall. Ziggler escapes an implant DDT to drop Copeland with a russian leg sweep. Dolph then gets in position and foolishly screams out that he's about to finish Edge off with the Zig Zag. Copeland is aware of what's coming so he spins around and catches Ziggler in midair with a spear to retain the World Heavyweight Title. The Rated R Superstar smirked from ringside as Dolph threw a temper tantrum on the mat. As both men locked eyes, Edge pointed to his temple in a silent display of the veteran outsmarting the young gun.
The cocky heel's weaknesses were systematically picked apart by The Ultimate Opportunist. Yes Ziggler kept in charge for the most part but Copeland was simply waiting for the perfect mistake to turn the tide. Carrying the World Heavyweight Championship for ten plus months is something very few men in this business had ever done and Edge stood among them now. Every particular threat had been met head on and dealt with at the benefit of The Rated R Superstar. And now with the Road to WrestleMania officially underway, Copeland knew the biggest of all tests awaited him on the grandest stage of them all. Who would step forth and oppose Edge's majestic reign? The answer would be two men; each eager to etch their names in stone at the champion's expense. Not only was Copeland ready to teach both opponents a valuable lesson but he knew the wave of momentum would aid him in attaining victory.
WrestleMania XXVII (03.27.2011)
Incredibly similar to the triple threat main event at WrestleMania XX, the three combatants put forth a masterful display of technical wrestling. Counters and reversals galore up to the finals seconds of the bout. With victory seemingly slipping through his fingers, Edge narrowly dodges Starship Pain and Morrison stands right up into a GTS courtesy of Punk. With Morrison momentarily unconscious, Punk tries to finish off Copeland with a spingboard clothesline but The Ultimate Opportunist is prepared and levels Cookie Monster in midair with a spear to escape still World Heavyweight Champion. Confetti falls from the ceiling as The Rated R Superstar shakes hands with Morrison after the bell. Punk leaves sulking and Edge celebrates in the ring until the pay per view goes off the air.
Adam Copeland's conquest was complete. Or was it? Besides, he was still the reigning World Heavyweight Champion and it'd been a year since the voyage first began. Where would he go from here? Who was left to knock out of the title picture? Edge's mind flooded with questions and a horrible beeping noise wasn't helping. The ringing got louder and louder until it reached a fever pitch. The Rated R Superstar thought his head would explode when a room suddenly outlined his vision. A bedroom in fact which belonged to him. Out of habit, Copeland reached over and turned off the alarm on his clock. Reality smacked him in the face like a back hand from an angry prostitute.
Edge: FUCK!!!
Wow the main events for Survivor Series are really something... tremendously lame seems fitting. Honestly, they both make me wanna vomit chunks all over the place. So after fighting Randy Orton at 29 consecutive PPVs, Cena's new challenge is D-Generation X? Fucking weak! WWE's trying to use the storyline of the bout possibly splitting up the tandem to put a new spin on the whole cherade. Only problem is we've seen The Champ battle HBK and The Game on multiple occasions over the last three or four years. Give The Miz a chance to redeem himself from the summer. Award Jack Swagger for his lengthy winning streak. ANYTHING but this recycled bullshit. Meanwhile, the SmackDown World Title match is just plain disappointing. Undertaker & Big Show just feuded this time last year. They've never had a great match and I highly doubt they ever will. Plus, management is ruining some of the novelty that a Taker/Jericho WrestleMania match carries. Not to mention two triple threat matches on the same card is one too many.
The Philadelphia Phillies can choke to death on my small white penis. A-Rod continued his stellar postseason with a big homerun as the Yanks rallied to defeat Philly and take a 2-1 lead in the World Series. Both teams have plenty of offensive weapons but I think the deciding factor will be New York's starting pitching. The NBA season has officially kicked off and my Boston Celtics are sitting pretty at 3-0 with wins over the Cavs, Bobcats & Bulls. I'm really excited about the C's title chances this year with the huge additions to their bench highlighted by Rasheed Wallace. The return of Kevin Garnett is what really boosts the stock of the Celtics though (especially since he's finally 100%). With their nasty defense, Boston can coem back from almost any deficit which will help them throughout the long season and playoffs. And on a side note, can't wait for the Saints/Falcons Monday night game. It should be a classic shoot-out between division rivals and you better expect New Orleans to remain undefeated!
Plug your way to the top, people.
Freeman shows his true colors as he tears Total Nonstop Action a new asshole. Box Car Rocco should be glad I haven't done the same. - Quote Me Happy #23 ~ "Nothing Better To Do"
The artist formerly and currently known as doublehelix warns us of a cancer The Hulkster carries around inside him... of the testicular variety. - Crake for News!!: Special Hogan Edition
Holy shit I had a fun Halloween night. Well walking to the house party kinda sucked ass due to the torrential downpour but the rest of the evening was good times. Simona Lisa concocted some drink called Devil's Juice which consisted of Bacardi Razz (something I vowed earlier in the year to never drink again), Cherry Coke and Grenadine. Tasty stuff and it sure did the tick as me and the Mrs. stumbled back to her dorm absolutely wasted. There was also a sizable portion of cupcakes and candy which I devoured; probably not a great mix with all the alcohol. If you'd like to know what else happened, hit me up at (SkitzLOP@aol.com) and I'll share the pornographic tale. Now if you asstards will excuse me, this is a rest/recovery day for The Candyman so I'll be taking my leave of absence. Masturbate in my honor and I'll catch you later, homies.
