Posted in: Taste My Rainbow Taste My Rainbow [27] - I Guess Wrestling Is My Mistress Too
By SkittleZ
Sep 21, 2008 - 12:49:32 PM
[27] - I Guess Wrestling Is My Mistress Too
(sigh) Well it's Sunday so... what?!? Four weeks late? How could I possibly be that far behind schedule?! (quickly flips through the pages in his daily planner) Would you look at that. Eh I'm here now so we'll just brush the tardiness under the mat. What's up everybody. I'm that flamboyant guy SkittleZ and this is my award winning column Taste My Rainbow. The column that uses its mouth more than its head. Damn it feels good to be back. I should covet my spot on the Main Page alongside these talented writers more often. This really is a privilege and I'll do my best to get back on schedule. So what's new.... DaveyBoy is still kicking my ass in our Prediction Contest, my marriage is currently being held together with glue and Scotch tape and I've been completely out of the loop wrestling-wise since SummerSlam. But there's no need to worry because I've done some research in preparation for this column so the experience shouldn't be too painful to sit through.
Funny how everyone jumps on the bandwagon so quickly when something doesn't go according to plan. I'm talking about the recent story that came out pertaining to Jeff Hardy being escorted off of an airplane last week. All I heard was how Hardy's WWE status was in 'huge jeopardy' and that officials within the company had serious concern about his job security. Give me a break. So believe me when I say I wasn't exactly shocked a few days later when the incident turned out to be nothing at all. Why do people always expect the absolute worst? Jeff is a good guy who's made some bonehead decisions but even he isn't foolish enough to screw up this soon after his second strike. At least give the guy until 2009! I'll put money on Hardy losing his job during his first WWE Championship reign. Any takers?
It sounds as if Batista isn't exactly thrilled with his current role on RAW. Which is code for not being happy because he isn't World Heavyweight Champion. This is where I tend to get a little irritated with The Animal. Since he's been with the company, Batista has paid his dues without question. He may get blown up early in a match and has been known to give a less-than-stellar effort but he's still busted his ass to get where he is. Unlike guys such as Undertaker and Triple H however big Dave doesn't have a lengthy tenure. Six years with the WWE is impressive but it's nothing to gawk at. Batista has found himself in the right positions at the right times. He is a Royal Rumble winner, a multi time Tag Team Champion and a multi time World Heavyweight Champion. As popular and determined as Batista is, there are other individuals more deserving to carry the company right now. Chris Jericho is a perfect example. Look at the tremendous work he's done in the year he's been back. Vince loves to keep his top stars happy though so expect to see the gold back around Big Dave's waist by Christmas.
What a huge disappointment Mr. Kennedy's WWE career has turned out to be. Don't get me wrong... the guy can change the perception that he's injury prone but he's got a lot of work ahead of him. When completely healthy, I have no doubt in my mind that Kennedy can be a valuable asset to the company. The keyword there however is completely healthy. Something Kennedy hasn't been very familiar with since his debut in late 2005. It really is a shame too because we all know Kennedy has that x factor. The mic skills are there and his in-ring improvement was evident up until he was sidelined. If Kennedy had avoided injury, one can only wonder how far along his career would be by now. It seems like his spot has remained the same for over two years. The future holds several question marks for this man but there's still some hope left.
Ladies and gentleman, I can't tell you how much I missed Randy Orton during his absence. Like most fans, I never gave the Legend Killer much thought. But Orton showed us something during his 'Age of Orton' title reign. He proved that he can carry the flagship program successfully as a heel and draw credible heat while doing so. Now it appears he will navigate the young promising duo of Rhodes and Dibiase and I can't applaud the storyline enough. The World Tag Team Champions have made exceptional progress in the three months they've been together but there's room for growth. Learning from Orton gives them that option and makes for one dangerous trio. Unlike Rated RKO, I hope this stable has some longevity to it. They have the second and third generation bit going for them. All three individuals are young gifted athletes. Milk it for all its' worth, E.
Allow me to make a long story short... or shorter. Alright scratch that. Just get comfortable.
After I graduated from college in 2006, I moved to Connecticut to live with my Dad and I brought my girlfriend with me. Nearly a year later, we decided to venture out on our own by getting an apartment. Unfortunately, my sister had recently moved in with my Dad and tagged along with us. Now I know it should be common sense but I'm not always the smartest of the bunch. If you take nothing else from this column, heed this advice... NEVER MOVE INTO A NEW PLACE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR SISTER. It just doesn't work (in my world at least). The two of them went from best buddies to bitter enemies in a span of three weeks. It turned ugly so incredibly fast that I was forced to ship my younger sister back to my Dad's house.
So things were a little uneasy for a while between my girlfriend and my family because my sister began spreading a bunch of absurd rumors about my soon-to-be wife. Hurtful words were exchanged and grudges developed. I was torn between defending my long term girlfriend and my family. Cindy (my wife now) did absolutely nothing wrong and she had left her home at the age of 18 to venture out on a new life with me. In what was probably not such a smart move at the time, we decided to get married on August 4th, 2007 which fell right in the midst of all this turmoil. Given the toxic environment in Connecticut, we thought it was best to fly back here and get married. Cindy understandably didn't want my sister to be at the reception and that was where it escalated. My Dad was having a rough summer to say the least. He had flipped a condo and moved in mainly all on his own. No one helped him move furniture or anything. Plus, work was killing him at the time.
Once my Dad, sister and Step mom were all moved in, I figured everything would wind down. My Dad was dealing with anxiety and even had to go to the hospital one night. They weren't happy in the condo and actually ended up moving back to their previous house. After finding out that she wasn't invited to the wedding reception, my sister ran home crying to tell my father and he kind of blew up emotionally. Me and Cindy had just arrived in Illinois for our upcoming wedding. I was suddenly ambushed with a number of text messages from my father explaining how something wasn't right about Cindy and that she didn't deserve our family name. Cindy was sitting right next to me and read every word of it. The pain etched across her face was obvious. My Dad then made up some bullshit excuse for not being able to make it to his own son's wedding. Something about how he had rented a beach house on Martha's Vineyard for that week and that it would cost him a bunch of money to cancel at that point.
While in Illinois, I thought over the whole situation. How expensive it was living on the East coast. How my family was doing more harm than good. How all our friends were here in Illinois. And how Cindy was still so young and most certainly missed her family. After some serious contemplation, I told Cindy that we were moving back to Illinois and that everything would work out fine. After getting hitched, we flew back to Connecticut and I had a long talk with my Dad. He was truly regretful for the words he had said and apologized repeatedly. It's still a sore subject in a way because he never apologized directly to my wife. Nor did my sister for the shit she had put us through that summer. I still don't get along or talk with my sister. Cindy had a job set up back home already so she flew back at the end of August. I had to clean up the apartment and give my job a two week notice. When the time came, I stuffed my car to capacity and traveled nearly a thousand miles back to northeastern Illinois. It only took me like twelve hours and forty-five minutes. That's like record time for yours truly.
Anyways, we moved in with her parents and are still living with them over a year later. Cindy is still working at the same place and I'm on my third warehouse gig. Now I'm not going to lie... I missed my family. I had grown up with my mom all of my life and just when I thought I'd get the opportunity to live with my Dad for a good while, it all quickly fell apart. So I wanted to go visit for a few weeks in May or June but Cindy was still a little hesitant. Work had gotten really slow and all of the temps were let go so I was without a job at the worst possible time. We decided that I'd just go to Connecticut for a month alone although my wife was visibly upset. I should have stayed with her but I made an idiotic choice and left my wife to fend on her own for several weeks. To make matters worse, I didn't work the final three weeks before I left. Instead of spending time with my wife, I was out every single night with my friends getting high, intoxicated or both. I abandoned her mentally before I had even left.
When I finally took off on April 30th, I was just ready to get away. Holding a job wasn't going so swell, my marriage had issues less than a year in and her parents were constantly stressing us out. That one month I was suppose to be gone turned into three and a half. My Dad runs the family painting business and I worked with him. I would bust my ass, get a check on Friday and mail it back home to Cindy on Saturday morning. I didn't do much of anything while I was in Connecticut. I worked during the days and watched sports during the nights. Aside from a four day fishing trip to Cape Cod and a live Monday night RAW in late July, that's all I did. And all the while my wife was stuck at home by herself paying the bills, working and dealing with our 2001 Dodge Intrepid which had a bad motor. I handled things in the worst possible way and now I'm paying for it. I'm 21 and my marriage is rocky to put it nicely.
I've done so much mental damage to Cindy that I don't know if all the time in the world would heal what I've done. I told my wife when I left that I needed space and complained about how miserable I was. She obviously placed all of that on herself and that was so wrong of me to put her in that position. I had the entire summer to think about it and have tried to change since I've returned but the picture paints a dark image for the future. I had everything in the palm of my hands and I still managed to fuck it up. I had the perfect wife and I got complacent. I took her for granted and it cost me. It might even end up costing me the woman of my dreams. There's still hope but it's fleeting my friends so wish me luck. I could definitely use it right about now.
Those three and a half months away were tough but not nearly as tough as they could've been. I had wrestling to keep me company during those long stretches and man did it come in handy. It kept me occupied and sane during an uncertain time in my life. I didn't know what to expect when I flew back home but I honestly wasn't worried because I had an escape. I hear so many people talk about how wrestling gives them an outlet from reality when life feels like one enormous chore. After a long day, there's nothing better than settling in on the couch to watch this web site's favorite pastime: professional wrestling. Considering the situation I was in, everything seemed to run extremely smooth. World Wrestling Entertainment occupied 99.9% of my life while I was in Connecticut. I probably spent an average of eight or nine hours on Lords of Pain per day. I caught every RAW, every ECW, every SmackDown and every Pay Per View between May 1st and August 17th.
More than possibly any time in my life, I was consumed by wrestling over this summer. I watched basketball, baseball and the Olympics but they all paled in comparison when it came to the WWE product. I was up with all the latest gossip, rumors, hires, releases and spoilers. Looking back at it now, I realize I even put my relationship with my wife on the back burner. I did the bare minimum by calling her once in the morning and once at night. Both usually short conversations. I was more worried about who was next in line for a title shot or who was the sorry sap getting drafted over to ECW. I totally tuned out what was going on in my real life and focused solely on what was transpiring on my television screen. I put more effort in my wrestling columns than my marriage. Kind of pathetic now when I look back on it.
The people I met and interacted with this summer definitely made it worth my while. The time I spent away from my wife was made much easier thanks to late night conversations with Pnk, Steve, Hustle, Anthrax, Andy Savana, MavsMan, Sheepster and Anonymous. Those few individuals made a subpar summer pretty fucking spectacular. They might not have known that but each of them helped in more ways than one.
Pnk with the drama that never seems to let her breathe. My many talks with Steve about the CF and scaring him into thinking I'd show up on his doorstep in Texas completely naked with a bag of candy. For a short while, me and Hustle would talk frequently throughout the day and even text message back and forth like gay lovers. Trying to convince Andy that he was indeed well-respected throughout the Columns Forum and not to commit suicide. My closest friend was probably MavsMan who really turned out to be a great listener and even a greater guy (no homo x50). Sheeps' comic strips kept me thoroughly entertained and actually still do. Another good buddy of mine was Anonymous who in my opinion should be the President of the Columns Forum (if there ever was such a position). He always knows what's going on and is always great to talk to for a cheap laugh.
I reflect on my summer now and realize how wrong I was in so many ways. My direction should have been aimed towards being a good husband and fulfilling my responsibilities. I instead devoted that precious time to when CM Punk would cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase and how long would it take before Cena was the champ once again. My wrestling obsession reached an all time high and I didn't bother explaining it to my wife. She knows I'm a fan but certainly not to this extent. I could have cared less to hear her voice before I went to bed. As long as RAW was exciting, everything else didn't matter in my book. Shit... I'd only want to chat with the Mrs. if the show was a dud and I was bored out of my mind. Looking at pictures of us? Ha! I was way too preoccupied with what WWE wallpaper looked best on my desktop.
When do you know when the hobby has gotten out of hand? Ironically, my wife has developed the same problem since I left her for a quarter of a year. Me and Cindy were the type of couple who revolved our lives around each other. We were best friends and did basically everything together. From dentist appointments and grocery shopping to movie theaters and road trips. While I was gone, my wife found herself with a ton of free time and utilized it hanging out with her good friends. And that's all fine and dandy. I'm not the type of guy who wants his wife at home all day depressed counting down the days until my big return. As much of a greedy bastard as I am, I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone. I want my wife to live her life to the fullest whether I'm around or not.
Only problem is that was all Cindy had to turn to. Before she knew it, my wife was going out every night and staying out until two and three in the morning. She wasn't moving from party to party and getting plastered all the time but our house probably feels more like a hotel room now than anything else. And that isn't my wife. Not the one I married anyway. Cindy told me that people change and I understand where she's coming from but its almost ridiculous. As her husband, I have to respect Cindy and her lifestyle. She loves me to death, takes care of all the bills, does my laundry, keeps me grounded and always takes care of me. If Cindy can make all of these sacrifices for me, why can't I give her this one thing? This is the issue I've been dealing with since coming home.
Things have obviously changed now that I'm back in Illinois. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any regrets. I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the spectacle of sports entertainment. Man what I would give to go back in time and come home a month early to surprise my wife. Given how poorly I treated her over that three and a half month span, I am one lucky motherfucker that she is still here by my side. In many ways I feel like I don't deserve her. I invested all my time in wrestling and I doubt I would ever take it back. Yes I have regrets but my love and passion for pro wrestling isn't one of them. Perhaps I got carried away. All I know is professional wrestling can be pretty damn seductive at times. I should know... I let the temptation consume me and it has partially ruined the most important love of my life.
The answer to my riddle from TMR [26] was indeed "Tiger Ali Singh". All of you faggots smoked me on that one by racking up a 71% correct guess percentage against me. I'm not sure if this is the one but I'll catch your asses sooner or later. Just wait and see.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm here one minute and gone the next.
You definitely have to consider me one of the wealthiest personalities on television.
I've won World Championships and Royal Rumbles.
People say I helped change the way the game was played.
I stay in tip top shape and know how to present myself to the public.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Think you know the answer? Give it some thought and guess away. If you answer incorrectly, I'll laugh and poke fun at your severe lack of intelligence. Get it right however and earn the right to... oh who am I kidding? You'll win nothing and like it! NO ONE will solve my masterful riddle. I will reveal the answer in my next column.
There's nothing like NFL football. The season is a few weeks underway and all is right with the world. Unfortunately, I am a Kansas City Chiefs fan. Why I cannot tell you. I just am. Have been for about six or seven years now. It seems like just yesterday when Priest Holmes was running over defenses and the Chiefs were putting up points like they were going out of style. These days, Kansas City can't even sign a respectable quarterback. You know something is wrong when I'm wishing Trent Green was still around. Tony Gonzalez needs to get out of that town as soon as possible because he deserves better. The Patriots getting blown out at home to the lowly Dolphins was definitely the big highlight from Week 3. The Giants are still proving the naysayers wrong and the Buffalo Bills are turning heads with each passing week.
Congratulations to XanMan on his recent promotion to the Main Page. If you aren't a long time LOPer, this is actually Xan's second Main Page tenure. His column, Enter the Dream Realm, captivated readers a few years back but some inconveniences lead to his untimely departure. Fortunately, XanMan is back and ready to prove that the first time around was no fluke. The guy has nearly one hundred columns under his belt and that right there demands respect. Xan hasn't lost a step and it was inevitable that he'd land back on the Main Page before long. Also keep your eyes open for special editions of Xan's hit column Excuse The Aggravation which is cohosted by none other than aisce. I'm sure XanMan will help strengthen the quality here on the Column's Main Page. He better or I'll be pissed.
Not my best effort but it'll have to do for now. It's late and I have work tomorrow dammit. My inconsistency is unacceptable however and I promise to fix it. I have an obligation and choosing to ignore it does no one any favors. So I shall be back in two weeks on Sunday, October 5th which I believe is actually the same date as the No Mercy Pay Per View. I may just take the easy way out and project a chunk of my column towards cheesy ppv predictions (works for me). Be sure to let me know what you thought of this emotional masterpiece. Was it life altering or was it a waste of time? Hit me up at (SkitzLOP@aol.com) and let your worthless voice be heard. I'm about to knock out. Keep in mind that prostitution isn't the answer and I'll catch up with you soon. Later homies.
