Posted in: Taste My Rainbow Taste My Rainbow [25] - At RAW Up Close And Personal
By SkittleZ
Jul 27, 2008 - 4:16:27 PM
[25] - At RAW Up Close and Personal
Do I know you? Ha! Of course I do! That was obviously a trick question. Welcome back my Fruity Followers to the latest and greatest edition of Taste My Rainbow. The only column around this joint fruity enough to fulfill your daily sugar intake. I'm the guy they call SkittleZ and I will be your tour guide for the day. Got a lot going on lately. Work as always, baseball is beginning to get interesting, the USA basketball team whooped the ever loving shit out of Canada Friday night (120-65) and we are now on the road to SummerSlam. Today's column will be a little departure from what you're probably used to. But what can I say... I like to take the easy way out in life. So sit back, get comfortable and fucking pay attention. As they say, It's on with the show.
I don't ever get a break, folks. If anyone's been following me and DaveyBoy's Prediction Contest, you are probably aware of the standings and know enough basic math to figure out that the Great American Bash didn't exactly work in my favor. I was two matches back of Davey going in and now currently sit FOUR matches behind that foreigner. And Prediction Contest aside, I really didn't do well overall. However, the two matches I dropped to DaveyGirl were the Divas Championship Match (I picked Neidhart) and the NYC Street Fight (I went with Cena) and those are the only two that really matter at this point. Don't get me wrong... I'm still right on his ass (no homo). But losing ground this late in the game never helps. I suppose I'll have to wait for SummerSlam to get my revenge. Anyhow, here are the updated standings: DaveyBoy (42-21-1) / SkittleZ (38-25-1)
Are stables on the rise? More like mini-stables but I'll take what I can get. When they aren't overused, stables can be a thing of beauty as is the case right now in the WWE. On RAW, Cena and Cryme Tyme have been hanging out more and more regularly and all signs point to some kind of three man stable. The same goes for Rhodes and Dibiase. The World Tag Team Champions are a bright young team who have JBL as the leader and mouthpiece of the group. While the two teams may just be joining forces for a short duration to benefit all involved, stables are still a dying breed in pro wrestling today and its great to see them pop up on the radar every now and then. I would throw La Familia in there as well but they appear to be having some internal issues as of late.
While the majority my feel differently, I am really looking forward to the Matt Hardy/Mark Henry ECW Title Match at SummerSlam. Perhaps not as much from a match quality standpoint but due to the risk for reward ratio that works in this bout's favor. WWE has an opportunity to do something big here and I believe they've realized that. If you ask around, a good portion of the IWC would explain that the ECW Championship was only put around Mark Henry's waist at Night of Champions because Kane was heading to RAW and Henry was set to put over an up and comer down the road somewhere. Matt dropped the United States Championship to Benjamin at the Great American Bash and now doesn't that seem like an opportune time to do so. Hardy isn't what you'd call new to the game but this would be another monumental step in building on his credibility and taking him to that next level. That's why I'm pulling for Matt to overcome all the obstacles at SummerSlam (Atlas, Delaney, etc.) and upset Henry to capture the ECW Title.
Call me silly but doesn't it appear like the WWE is putting more emphasis on the SmackDown product since the Draft Lottery? Before you even start, I disagree. I don't think it's because Jim Ross and Triple H were moved over to the blue brand. For those who've forgotten, SmackDown is changing networks in a few months and therefore WWE is working to turn on more viewers to the program before it jumps ship. Shit... I don't blame them. I can't even remember the name of the new network. MyNetwork or something to that effect? Might as well air the shit on paid programming. That is the best the WWE could do? The number one wrestling organization in the world is reduced to putting one of their main shows on a network no one cares about? With all due respect, fuck you CW Network.
Although I've been a wrestling fan for over a decade, I have never once been to a live event. House show, RAW, SmackDown, ECW, Pay Per View... absolutely nothing. Plenty of opportunities however with the best coming nearly two and a half years when WrestleMania 22 was held at the Allstate Arena in Chicago (a mere 30 miles from my house). I often wondered if I'd ever end up going to a WWE show. As of now, I plan on heading to Houston for WrestleMania 25 with a number of friends from LOP next April but that's ages away. Well as I mentioned numerous times in my last few columns, I've been on vacation in Connecticut since late April. I was hanging out one night watching TV in the living room when my step-mom was checking her emails and realized that RAW was coming to the Mohegan Sun Arena on July 21st (only a 45 minute drive from my Dad's house) and asked if we should go. I marked like a little kid and my Pops bought tickets for him, myself, my step-mom and my sister. He told me they were great seats and I believed him when he told me the total cost came to $630!
Usually when you're anxiously awaiting a certain day, time seems to slow down significantly. Well fortunately, that wasn't the case here as the days just flew by and it was Monday night in a heartbeat. I wasn't really all that excited until we actually stepped foot into the arena. Mohegan Sun is a casino in Connecticut with an arena inside. Once we arrived, there were lines wrapped all around the casino. The most popular t-shirts were Cena, Batista and Mysterio without question. Oh and on that note, make sure you check out JetSetPoker's RAW Report from last Monday's show. But like I was saying, it wasn't until we headed in for our seats that I played witness to what I see on television each and every week. The atmosphere was amazing and the crowd was pumped up before the dark matches even got underway. We were located right up against the barricade in the corner of the main isle and the TitanTron. The dark matches were nothing to write home about. Charlie Haas and Jamie Noble beat two local nobodies. Lilian Garcia came out and sang the National Anthem before Michael Cole and 'The King' (who got a huge pop) walked out. Lilian then informed us all to get rowdy as we were going on the air in 20 seconds. The show's opening firework display is quite a sight when you're standing barely 15 feet away.
Batista's Challenge
I waited for Batista's pyro to blow my eardrums but I was saved as the Animal was pissed at Kane for costing him the World Heavyweight Title the previous night at Great American Bash and appeared to be in no mood to take part in such nonsense. Batista blabbed about wanting to kick Kane's ass and demanded a rematch until CM Punk came out to a big pop. The World Heavyweight Champ told the Animal he was on but JBL suddenly popped up on the TitanTron to remind us all that he was running the show and deserved a title shot more than Batista. He and Punk then took turns making fun of JBL and watching Bradshaw's facial expressions on the big screen was priceless. Punk then invited Batista again to meet him up later on (in the ring you sick bastards) and they cut to commercial.
The segment was far from special but kept the title picture progressing. Punk hasn't been given a clean win over Batista yet but it's totally understandable. JBL put him over and I don't expect Punk to play the role of transitional champion. JBL has done a great job of stepping in as RAW's main heel during Orton's absence. And Batista has just been his bad ass self and remained in the title picture like he always tends to do. Batista was pretty fucking sizable in person and JBL was taller than I'd imagined. I actually got to high five Punk as he walked back up the ramp!
Lance Cade vs. Paul London
The split up of Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch still to this day does not sit well with me. I know all tag teams have to go their separate ways at some point or another but these two were better off sticking together for the long haul. Too many of WWE's tag teams these days are broken up early before they're able to really accomplish much or reach their full potential. So out of all the possible options available, WWE decided to fire Murdoch and push Cade. Excellent booking you fucking morons! I honestly believe a goofy singing babyface Trevor Murdoch had a better chance of succeeding than a big serious heel Lance Cade. What happens to Cade after Y2J doesn't need him anymore? I personally would be insulted as a fan if Cade was headlining the latter matches of pay per view down the road. Instead of breaking up Cade and Murdoch prematurely, WWE should've just sucked it up and switched them over to SmackDown or ECW in the Draft.
This bout was obviously a squash to continue Cade's push and sell him to the audience as a legitimate threat. Look at poor Paul London.... another career butchering thanks to the Draft Lottery forcing him and Brian Kendrick to go their separate ways. Now the entertaining aerial act of Londrick is no more and both of them now stand little chance of achieving much on their own. London's glass ceiling is the Intercontinental Championship and even that doesn't look very hopeful from where I'm sitting. So like I said, the match was over before I even knew what had happened. The only aspect I like about Lance Cade is his high impact finisher. There were tons of "Cade Sucks!" chants which I gladly took part in.
Y2J Speaks on HBK
After Cade's victory, he got on the microphone and hyped Chris Jericho and the ass beating he gave to Shawn Michaels at the Great American Bash. Y2J then walked out in street clothes and at first, the crowd seemed confused whether to cheer or boo him. Well that all changed when Jericho took over the mic and informed us that he'd ended HBK's career for good and that he didn't regret it whatsoever. After that, it didn't take very long until the fans were bombarding him with "HBK! HBK!" chants. He was even kind enough to show us a nice video package of him beating the shit out of HBK's eye until the referee stopped the match. Got to love the WWE's never ending attempts to amplify the drama with loud sounds, slow motion and black and white photography.
I was actually lost at the beginning when Jericho initially came out. Cade told the crowd to show them the proper respect and when the fans didn't show said appreciation, he and Jericho left the ring and walked behind the curtain. Then it was silent in the arena for a minute or two and Y2J and Cade came right back out! I was unsure and even contemplated whether the segment had been botched somehow. That wasn't the case as Jericho laid into Michaels with another awesome promo. The feud has been tremendous even though HBK has been injured through the last several weeks of it. The audience would have erupted if Shawn made an appearance but he was nowhere to be found. Not that I expected him to be there live or anything. When it comes to HBK, it's all about the hard sell!
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
They showed a quick video of Phoenix getting the upset win over Santino the previous week and it got a few laughs from the crowd. You don't have to watch wrestling very long to realize this match wouldn't last long. I honestly never thought Kelly Kelly was anything special but in person, she was absolutely gorgeous. I would've jumped over the barricade and made love to her right there if I knew Security wouldn't rip my head off. And Phoenix was a beast from ten feet away. Kelly got a few impressive moves in but it was Phoenix who dominated as expected. Nice finish however when Kelly countered Beth into a roll up and nearly stole a victory. Beth showed off her strength by not only kicking out but rolling through the pin, lifting Kelly into the air and dropping her face first on the mat for the three count.
I guess they have to keep Beth strong for whenever she's placed back in the Women's Title picture down the road. Since Phoenix and Mickie have basically exhausted their rivalry for the time being, the writing team will probably wait until Candice Michelle comes back before Beth shows significant interest in another championship reign. No matter what she does, Phoenix will be just fine. Kelly Kelly is low on the radar but you never know... she could be a vital part of the Women's Division two or three years down the road. She reminds me a lot of Maria as far as where her in-ring skills are and Kelly will most likely take over the role that Maria once held on RAW. Hey, I've got no complaints with that.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan Speaks
Hacksaw's music hit and we all marked out with some "Hooooooooo!" chants. I figured Duggan was just coming out during commercial to tell us about some type of charity or to take part in an activity that involved the audience. His street attire assured me that he definitely wouldn't be wrestling or getting squashed on tonight's show. Hacksaw got on the mic and let us all know that he was contemplating retirement after a lengthy career. The fans protested until Jerry 'The King' Lawler jumped in the ring to talk some sense into Duggan. 'King' surprisingly got some of the biggest pops of the night. Lawler basically told him that as long as Hacksaw was still passionate about wrestling, that he can wrestler for as long as he wants (see Ric Flair).
Duggan appeared to be convinced on sticking around and all was fine and dandy until the World Tag Team Champs made their presence felt and walked out to greet the two veterans. Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase took turns making fun of both Lawler and Hacksaw until 'The King' had heard enough and slapped the taste out of Cody's mouth much to the adulation of the crowd. Rhode's wanted to lay into Lawler but Dibiase held him back and JBL came out to back up the young heel duo as well as hype them. Cryme Tyme's music suddenly hit the loudspeakers. Huge pop for JTG and Shad by the way as they've got to be one of WWE's most over tag teams at the moment. Solid segment with Hacksaw and it led up greatly to Rhodes and Dibiase coming out to disrespect the old timers. Building on the Champs' heat and moving in the right direction. Rhodes and Dibiase look a lot like Orton to me. Almost as if you combined them together, you'd get a Randy Orton. Just wanted to throw that out there. Make your own assumptions, dickwads.
Six Man Tag Team Match
I was none too happy when JBL came out through the curtain instead of in his trademark limousine. The problem I think was that the arena was a little small for a limo to be driven out into the arena and JBL's fat ass would've been quite cramped trying to squeeze his way to the ring between the limo and the barricade. As Cryme Tyme waited at ringside for their partner in the upcoming contest, you can just feel the intensity in the arena turn up a few notches Everybody knew who was about to come out and it was no secret that the place was going to erupt. Cena's music hit and the ovation was deafening. I don't know how it came off on television but that place was going bonkers as Cena walked out and played up the crowd. I didn't hear a single boo during Cena's entrance. He and Cryme Tyme jumped in the ring and took out JBL, Rhodes and Holly. The referee tried to restore order and I'm assuming that's when they cut to commercial.
Good early action and it unsurprisingly ended up being JTG playing the face in peril who just simply could not get a tag to save his life. But alas, JTG broke free and made the hot tag to Cena. The crowd came unglued yet again though there were noticeable boo's as Cena handed Dibiase his usual flurry of offense. He went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but JBL ran in to break it up. Cena held his ground and fought JBL off who escaped through the crowd (a mere twenty feet from where I was sitting). Back in the ring, Cena hit a double FU on Rhodes and Dibiase and made the pin. Great co-main event and the audience was in pandemonium for the last thirty seconds of the bout. Cena and Cryme Tyme celebrated before exiting to the backstage area.
Mixed Tag Team Match
Honestly, I haven't seen much of Kofi Kingston thus far. I never really watch ECW and he was on the C brand from his debut in January up until the Draft Lottery. So he's been on RAW for three or four weeks and I'm still not completely up to date on Kingston. Well I totally forgot about his pyro and the couple of green fireworks that I WEREN'T expecting nearly sent me backwards toppling over a folding chair. Very good pop for Kofi but an even bigger one for the Women's Champion Mickie James. What a hot bitch. Burchill and Katie followed to a chorus of boo's and I was almost stunned by how beautiful and sexy Lea was in real life. If you recorded RAW, you can actually see me at this point stick my head over the barricade and turn it sideways to get a good look at Katie's ass. I'm a dude... I can't help it.
The match had good energy and there was a good mix of everything during the short amount of time the contest was given. There is no way Burchill isn't on the juice because he easily has twice the amount of muscle mass he did during his Pirate days. Anyways, Paul worked over Kofi's legs and nailed his neckbreaker finisher to pick up the win for him and Katie. Although most people don't realize it (general wrestling fans at least), this feud is benefiting RAW in many ways. It keeps two feuds going at once for two respective championships. It allows different parties to work together for several weeks and the Kofi/Burchill program helps out the midcard and more importantly the Intercontinental Title. I'm a firm believer that allowing main eventers to carry the IC Title does little to aid the division. The division was built to elevate guys lower on the card to a status where they can really make a name for themselves. At this point, I wouldn't even mind a Burchill/Kofi rematch at SummerSlam. On her way by, Mickie kissed a little girl on the cheek who was standing like five feet to my right. Too bad that wasn't me...
D'Lo Brown vs. Santino Marella
This drunk fat guy from across the aisle way had been screaming for Santino to come out for minutes on end. To the point where it was starting to get downright annoying. The guy even took it as far as to yell out "Come on Vince! Give us what we want! Santino!" While I admit I rather enjoy Santino's company as well (no homo), I doubt I'd ever take it to that extreme. So when Marella's music finally hit, me and I'm sure hundreds of others were relieved to hear the chunky white dude shut his trap. Santino assured all of us in attendance that his inaugural challenge was intended for strictly males and offered any other superstar to meet him in the ring again tonight. And out of every possible superstar, it was D-Lo Brown who answered the call and let us know he's still alive after all these years!
I was surprised how few people seemed to know who D-Lo was as I wasted no time in marking out like a schoolgirl. Then I took a glance around and remembered how many little kids were present and how the majority of them weren't even alive when the Nation was at its peak. Brown's upbeat personality always garners attention and the crowd quickly rallied behind him. D-Lo made quick work of Santino and finished him off with his old Sky-Hi frog splash. Perhaps this is mainly a feel good story as I don't see much the WWE can do with him. Throw him in the Intercontinental Title picture? Meh... works for me. Beth Phoenix came back out and appeared as if she wanted to beat the shit out of Santino. However, Marella gave her a few looks before pulling her in and planting a kiss on the Glamazon! And she didn't exactly stop him. The two then traded awkward moments until an intrigued Santino headed up the ramp. I have no idea where this is heading but when you have a clash of styles such as Beth and Santino working together, it can only turn into brilliant segments.
CM Punk vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship
I knew for a fact we were getting a taste of Batista's pyro this time around. Isn't it funny how when you don't know something is coming, it can make you uneasy? But when you know it's coming, you're ripe with anticipation? Nonetheless, the Animal did his usual entrance and I loved it. Punk was surely out next so I relaxed when two huge burst of flames erupted behind me and I almost jumped into my sister's lap! Kane marched to the ring and traded blows with Batista before giving The Animal a chokeslam (which they nearly botched). Punk sprinted to the ring to fend off Kane and clotheslined the Big Red Machine out of the ring. Batista was given time to recover before the match officially began. I was really taken aback by how much of the contest Punk dominated though I'm assuming it was mostly Batista selling Kane's earlier attack. Punk went for his springboard clothesline but Batista caught him in midair and nailed the spine buster. The Animal appeared to be closing in on his fourth World Title after hitting Punk with a spear but JBL ran down to the ring.
Bradshaw and Batista slugged it out at ringside and the referee called for the bell. JBL got the upper hand on both The Animal and Punk before Cena ran out to make the save. Cena was whooping the holy hell out of JBL until Bradshaw ducked a punch and Cena accidentally hit Batista in the face. The Animal tried to give Cena the Batista Bomb but he slid out and went for the FU on Batista. The Animal wiggled free however and he and Cena brawled until a slew of referees hit the ring to break up the melee. RAW went off the air and Batista walked back up the aisle with his eyes on Cena the entire time. Cena then got on the mic and talked about the possibility of a one on one encounter between himself and Batista which the crowd responded in approval. He then told us that his Dad and friends were there and pointed them out in the front row. Cena thanked us all for coming and then slid out of the ring to hug his Dad and exchange words with his buddies. Cena high fived a bunch of fans and then walked back through the curtain. Nowhere near a great show but being there in person was amazing. Even a decent show seems amplified. I can't wait to feel the electricity at WrestleMania 25 in Houston come next April. Yep... that's going to cost a pretty penny.
The answer to my riddle from TMR [24] was indeed "John Morrison". There was a slight jump in the correct guess percentage (57%) but nothing drastic enough to concern me. After a ton of soul searching, I think I've stumbled upon a riddle that will rack your brains and force each and every one of you to the brink of insanity. Try to crack this one, losers.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Somehow, I can relate to John Cena.
My matches towards the end of my WWE run were short and swift.
I've won tag team gold with both individuals from my former stable.
One of my past allies is mostly remembered as a comedic character but showed a dark side at the start of the new millennium.
As long as I've been around the business, you'd swear I was considerably older.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Think you know the answer? Give it some thought and guess away. If you answer incorrectly, I'll laugh and poke fun at your severe lack of intelligence. Get it right however and earn the right to... oh who am I kidding? You'll win nothing and like it! NO ONE will solve my masterful riddle. I will reveal the answer in my next column.
I'm not sure where the urge originated from but I've been on an Nintendo 64 binge as of late. Like most kids, I got the N64 back when it came out in 1996 for Christmas. Around 2001, I inexplicably bought the Nintendo GameCube (dumb move on my part) and went on to buy other various video game systems. Thus, leaving the N64 behind and never looking back. I never sold or threw out my Nintendo 64 but I lost track of it quite a while back. Over the last few weeks, I've suddenly got the itch to play it again. I had no idea where my old system was so I did what anyone would do... I bought one off eBay. The game console and three controllers for just fifteen bucks! Everything worked just fine too. Obviously, I had to purchase some games. I'm an adventure guy all day so I got my hands on Super Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie. Two classic platforms. Every day since I received them in the mail, I get home from work, shower and then play until three or four in the morning. While it isn't a healthy addiction, it beats drugs and alcohol. Now I just need to snag a copy of Donkey Kong 64 and my life will be complete.
Who doesn't love Fact or Fiction? I have risen it from the dead and have some good news regarding one of LOP's most traditional columns. Along with three other individuals, Tito and DaveyBoy will both guess starring in the August installment of Fact or Fiction! * thunderous ovation ensues * Alright now. Settle down, people. I understand it's hard not to get excited but you still have around three weeks so please try to contain yourselves. And don't flood Davey and Tito's email boxes with nude and/or inappropriate photos. We want them to come back in the future and I don't want to be labeled a pioneer of filth. Oh and special thanks to Noc who made a spiffy column banner for Fact or Fiction. He'll also be participating in next month's column.
When in doubt, plug it out...
Young Andy is stinking up the joint once again in a depressive manner. - Savana's Chamber of Pain #32: Quitting
The Anonymous Comedy Hour is back in full swing. - Inside the Mind 6.5: Teh Legacy of ECW is being destroyed
MadChuck isn't exactly what I'd call shy and polite. Click here to see what I mean. - The MadRanter: Brooke Hogan should be brutally raped
That's all you get for now. Hopefully, this didn't come off as overly generic for the majority of you. I figured an event of this magnitude to myself personally was worth sharing with you ungrateful homosexuals. Hell... tell me whether you enjoyed or outright despised it. If you have anything to add or point out, just shoot me a quick email at (SkitzLOP@aol.com) and either praise me or bash my literary skills to no end. You know how the story goes. I'll be back at it in two weeks time with some new bullshit. Take care until we meet again and watch your ass in dark alleyways (or in prison for that matter). Later homies.
