Posted in: Taste My Rainbow Taste My Rainbow [48] - 'Tis Doomsday Approaching Cenation?
By SkittleZ
May 24, 2009 - 12:09:54 PM
[48] - 'Tis Doomsday Approaching Cenation?
Woot woot! Howdy ladies and gentlemen. Glad you could join me here today. Will you soon regret it? Er.... of course not! I hope by now we're familiar with one another. My name is SkittleZ and this is the sole internet tribute column to all things gay - Taste My Rainbow! Alright so in my family, there's an annual event known as the Vineyard trip. In late May every year, all the males in my family and a handful of close friends rent a beach house on Martha's Vineyard and we spend our days fishing on the shore. If you've never heard of Martha's Vineyard, it's a small island south of Massachusetts and it's fucking expensive. The trip usually lasts four or five days (Tuesday - Friday this year) and another one is in the books. I actually just began attending the event in 2008 but the shit is definitely a blast.
Since I live in Connecticut, we drove up into Massachusetts, over to Cape Cod, caught a 45 minute ferry ride to Martha's Vineyard and settled in at the beach house. I brought a buddy of mine along for the ride and we let it rip four days straight. Unlike last year when I was hooking blue fish and stripers non-stop, there wasn't much to write home about other than a few snags and bites. Seriously, I didn't catch a single fish nor did my friend. We decided to get a little rowdy Wednesday night and hit up the local package store after downing a large cheese pizza. Our drink of choice? Bacardi Sour Apple. The two of us watched some World Extreme Cagefighting (WEC) while chugging the entire bottle in no more than 40 minutes. After that, my evening becomes a little vague. Mostly, I remember my Pops pulling me out of a pool of vomit and ushering me into bed. Sexy right? Yeah I spent Thursday recovering and cleaning up pizza chunks. Oh and I puked again in the shower while trying to remove the stench. So in summary...
My Edgykins is currently rated "F" for failing to capitalize on a tainted victory. I always stumble upon someone in the LOP Forums complaining about how Edge's "Ultimate Opportunist" gimmick is taken too far and he lacks quality clean wins. Let us keep in mind the guy is a main event heel and thus he's very rarely ever competing against midcarders or jobbers. He's supposed to cheat to win! All the time! Sure a guy like Chris Jericho picks up clean victories frequently but that's because he's built differently as a wrestler albeit still cheating or attempting to cheat on a regular basis. Copeland just gets away with it more than anyone which brings us back to his gimmick. You've gotta keep in mind that the Rated R Superstar is much thinner than most of his opposition and thus has to gain advantage with underhanded tactics.
As was the case at Judgment Day. Not only did Edge use a completely legal move to retain the World Heavyweight Championship but he wasn't involved in Matt interfering and blasting Jeff in the back of the head with his cast. However it was disappointing to watch Copeland drop a one on one bout to Jeff this past Friday night on SmackDown in a strong television match. As per stipulation, Hardy was able to decide the type of bout for their rematch at Extreme Rules and elected a ladder match. Um Match of the Year candidate anyone? One thing I can take away from Jeff's victory a few nights ago is it sets up The Ultimate Opportunist for another victory when he desperately needs to build on championship credibility!
Returning soon for the 19th time in three plus years, Mr. Injury...... Injury! We've been treated to Kennedy video packages during RAW for the last few weeks and I'm feeling rather indifferent. With all this time Kennedy has missed since his debut in 2005, I often find myself forgetting he even works for WWE! I'm not even exaggerating there either. Kennedy seems extremely injury prone so how much attention and build should he receive until proving otherwise? After once being considered on the same level as MVP, Kennedy has fallen from grace and might be months (perhaps years) away from making it to the next level. Hell at this rate, the Green Bay native will never sniff the WWE or World Heavyweight Title. In an era where the company is looking for emerging superstars, Kennedy could become a huge asset but only if he can stay off the disabled list for more than five months at a pop. RAW's stale main event scene could use some new blood without a doubt.
WWE > NBA? Vinnie Mac is bringing kayfabe to the realm of real sports. As the story goes, Vinnie Mac rented out the Pepsi Center in Denver for Monday Night RAW on May 25th however the Nuggets home playoff game versus the Lakers falls on the same day. After the scheduling blunder, Mr. McMahon called out Nuggets Owner Stan Kroenke on SportsCenter and stuck it to the franchise by switching RAW to the Staples Center venue in Los Angeles (home of the Nuggets' current playoff opponent). Well it seems after a little negotiating, Vince has managed to make the most of the situation by turning the headline into a storyline to be played out on WWE television. Not only will five baby faces dubbed the Lakers face five heels titled the Nuggets but McMahon will supposedly go toe to toe with Stan Kroenke. There is to be a mystery member on the face side in the ten man tag team bout and I can't help but wonder who it will be. Magic Johnson? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? Pull out all the stops I say!
For The Win update: Mavsy's young ass fares well but takes a pounding. Judgment Day has come & gone and The Candyman topped Mavsman yet again! I'm still kicking myself for passing on the PPV since it sounds solid from top to bottom but hey that's what DVDs are for, right? As for results, SkitZ went 6-1 and Mavsy finished 4-3. I was shafted out of a perfect record too with Orton pussying out and slapping the referee to trigger the disqualification. The important foot note is I doubled my lead over Mavsman and hold a comfortable advantage for now at least. Obviously given my Judgment Day picks, nothing really stood out to me except Flair saving Batista from a beat down at the conclusion of the WWE Championship match. What should we expect from the Nature Boy over the following few weeks? Personally, I believe Flair's only returned to hold serve while Hunter's out as it's just a matter of time before the Hall of Famer is rocked back into retirement courtesy of a RKO punt.
The constant wave of interviews reported around WrestleMania 25 have taken residence in my mind and just won't leave... unless I blow it out with a bullet. All kidding aside, the idea of John Cena vs. The Rock has intrigued wrestling fans since it was first suggested years ago. Arguably the top two wrestlers from separate eras who have both experienced a steady dose of mainstream success. They have each won Royal Rumbles, high profile bouts at WrestleMania, countless World Championships and so on and so forth. While the showdown never appeared to be any more than a dream match on various fantasy cards, fans found it a little less unlikely when Cena & Johnson began going back and forth during separate interviews. It's no secret that Cena looks down upon Rocky's claims to how passionate he is for the wrestling business. From his viewpoint, how deep can Johnson's passion really be if he left the WWE to pursue an acting career?
While Rocky has attempted to laugh off such accusations, one couldn't help but raise an eyebrow (see what I did there?) when Cena challenged Dwayne to a match at WrestleMania 26. Might it be the ground work being laid for a possible confrontation at next year's spectacle? The storyline writes itself and aside from maybe a Cena heel turn, little needs to be done in preparation for the epic clash. Every last WWE fan would be curious as to the outcome because even anti-Cena fans would crave his impending burial at the hands of Dwayne Johnson. The more I focus on them respectively, the more glaring the similarities become. Presumably the companies' biggest merchandise sellers since Hulk Hogan. The People's Champ versus WWE's perceived people's champion. Both have starred in their own movies yet nothing which drew impressive numbers at the box office. The comparisons are nearly endless.
It begs the question "will Cena follow suit?". As outlandish as it may sound to most, history repeating itself makes perfect sense. How? Shut the fuck up and I'll tell you. Why did Dwayne Johnson leave World Wrestling Entertainment? He wasn't over the hill and slacking in the ring *cough Flair cough*. The guy still had fans by the balls with every single word or catchphrase that escaped his mouth. Nah Rocky left simply because it was a smart career move. I'm sure his health played a role in the process as well. As lucrative as pro wrestling can be (especially working for WWE), there is undoubtedly more money to be made in Hollywood.... if you've got the talent and exposure. Johnson didn't wake up one day and make the jump suddenly. The Rock worked his way into acting when he'd reached complete comfort with the company. With the Attitude Era winding down and new guys being brought into the fray, Dwayne took a hiatus during the summer of 2001 to shoot The Mummy Returns. In 2002, Rocky took a few months off after WrestleMania 18 for the filming of The Scorpion King. Then The Rundown and Walking Tall until he left for good in 2004.
Each time Johnson spent more and more time away from the ring until acting in major motion films became too enticing. The Rock came to the realization that he couldn't bounce between both professions for the long haul and parted ways with WWE after a near eight year stint. Now while Cena's intervals away from the ring have been noticeably smaller, it still resembles a similar pattern to that of Johnson's. Cena's been with the company for almost seven years now, remained injury free for the better part of his WWE career and has already starred in a couple of films. The main difference being Cena took part in strictly WWE produced films. However as time progresses, it seems like he is even more marketable than The Rock. Cena is practically everywhere nowadays! Whether it be Gillette Fusion commercials, SUBWAY ads, NASCAR charity events, morning talk shows, Larry King Live or ringside at sporting events.
Natural progression would assume Cena would be just as, if not more, inclined to get wrapped up in extra curricular activities outside of the wrestling ring. I'm fully aware of Cena's passion and natural love for the business but what happens when there's nowhere to go but down? In a profession such as pro wrestling, there's a proverbial glass ceiling whereas the funds and popularity in the acting world are truly unlimited. How much more is there for Cena to accomplish? Surpass Flair's 16 World Title reigns? Yeah I don't think so. Besides, Cena isn't the type of wrestler who's going to rack them up like say Edge or Triple H. I believe the next year or so will really test Cena's loyalty to the company. Will pro wrestling grow stale soon enough to the point where Cena chooses to venture out and try new things?
Cena has shown his ability to act and rap on several occasions but look at the end result. His album You Can't See Me (very clever title BTW) cracked the US Billboard 200 chart but how impressive it that in retrospect? Mainly only because it was a white professional wrestler behind the lyrics and soundtrack. The final numbers weren't nearly enough to urge Cena to put out more albums nor did the WWE push him to do such because the overall generated revenue was subpar at best. As has been the case with the movies Cena has headlined over the past few years. Sure The Marine sold well once it went to DVD but how about when the film first premiered in theaters? WWE have never been shy towards promoting the shit out of anything remotely involving the organization so I don't think you can chalk up the disappointing ticket sales to lack of promotion. The same goes for 12 Rounds which easily received more hype and should have fucking been labeled the sequel to The Marine as they felt like carbon copies.
Is this picture sending the wrong message?
Let us not look past how the fans treated Cena over the years. While fans are easing up on the hate nowadays, that can be attributed to more kids watching the product and attending live events. Point being Cena was very unfairly been shit on by veteran fans once he made it to the top of WWE and began racking up wins over the companies' biggest stars. Several marks refused to root for the guy while others simply bashed Cena with no rhyme or reason. All the arguments for disliking Cena which I've read in the LOP Forums appear one in the same and incredibly shallow. In 2006 and 2007, you couldn't help but feel like Cena just couldn't win no matter the circumstances. I've always admired him for never caving in to the jeers and switching up his style to appease the fans. It's hard to believe the swarming mass of negativity never eats away at him though.
For a guy who preaches respect, he never attains it from fans. We've heard/read the interviews from a slew of wrestlers and personalities. There's no doubt Cena is beloved outside of the squared circled and is constantly described as a funny humble individual. Stuff like that makes me wonder why Cena isn't received the same from the majority of fans since his real life personality seems extremely similar to the man whom we watch on television every Monday night. Perhaps chalk it up to WWE followers judging Cena on what they see on TV since all who've met him in real life have nothing but great things to say about the 2008 Royal Rumble winner. Instances such as One Night Stand and Unforgiven 2006 are exceptions to the backlash yet they still don't negate all the "Cena Sucks" chants which filled arenas at one point. Why take it when there's another world out there waiting to fully embrace John Cena?
Now I mentioned how his peers in the locker room had nothing but nice things to say about Cena but is that how they really feel deep down inside? Maybe some of them hold back; afraid of what consequences might transpire if the boss gets wind of their comments (Carlito certainly isn't one of those people). During his extended rivalry with Edge and in early 2007, I recall reading a few news bits pertaining to how much the company catered to John Cena. Rumors explained Cena spending a good portion of his time at arenas beforehand in Vince's office. This didn't sit well with other wrestlers and earned Cena titles such as "WWE's Golden Boy". There's no way in hell Cena doesn't hear said bullshit from friends and management. I give him all the credit in the world because it just seems overwhelming to me from an outside perspective.
If not due to shady fans and jealous co-workers, personal issues could loom large in Cena's possible departure from pro wrestling. I forget whether Cena and his significant other are still engaged or married yet but surely it won't be long before they opt to settle down and start a family. Behind the scenes, Cena is simply a regular guy and thus you assume yearns for a semi-regular life (well as normal as can be when your name is John Cena). He recently turned 32 and how much longer until he's ready to take it easy? If Cena were to pursue acting on a more permanent level, his schedule would open up and give him more time at home with his family. Spending 300+ days on the road per year and missing your kids growing up doesn't sound too appealing. Plus, Cena's paychecks would drastically increase while the threat of severe injury lessens substantially. And for you handful of readers out there suggesting Cena downgrade to TNA for a lighter schedule... this is no time for jokes.
Above all else, I'd expect Cena to remain with World Wrestling Entertainment to prove he is no hypocrite. After criticizing The Rock constantly in the media for leaving pro wrestling to act in Hollywood, the egg on Cena's face if he were to do the same would disgust most WWE fans & officials. You think fans give Cena a hard time now? Psh! Multiply that by one hundred if Cena were to leave the company for the big screen. Should we rule out Cena attempting to balance both wrestling and acting on a somewhat full time basis? I mean it's only a matter of time before he's beckoned to partake in films not associated with WWE. Could Cena wrestle for six months, disappear for 12 weeks, return to WWE for five months, leave again to shoot another movie and be successful? From what I've seen, John Cena is one of the busiest celebrities in the world and would be one of my few picks to pull off such a feat.
Given his love/hate relationship with wrestling fans, you'd assume Cena not being around the ring as much would teach the WWE Universe (there I said it!) just how valuable a commodity the guy really is in this day and age. Cena's fan base would continue to skyrocket if he took the 50/50 route in terms of wrestling & acting until the point where the guy's star power outshined the WWE. With that scenario, Cena's time in the ring would become far more precious and effectively trigger more naysayers to warm up to the guy. Wrestling marks were quick to trash talk Dwayne Johnson when his WWE appearances decreased yet look at the receptions he received in 2003 and '04. Ultimately, I believe John Cena will stay true to his roots and wrestle until retirement. As fun as action movies and race car driving must be, Cena has often admitted there's nothing like walking out in front of a raucous sold out arena packed with thousands of diehard wrestling fans. While you'd be a fool to think the movie roles and commercial ads will cease anytime in the near future, the squared circle is where John Cena belongs. Now if he's worried about his tough guy image, a UFC career could do the trick but that's an entirely different subject.
The answer to TMR [47] was indeed "Brock Lesnar". By my calculations, readers walked away from my last riddle with a 66% Correct Guess Ratio. Not exactly a tremendous week for me but I'll take that percentage. The riddle below may seem a little vague from certain perspectives but I feel it's pretty damn spot on. And please if it's too fucking easy, make sure to blast me via email or in my feedback thread. This one came to me during a lengthy drive home a few days ago and the mystery individual may take many of you by surprise.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
If I were a house, I'd be laden with trim.
I've been on top but do you watch me or skim?
It should be obvious I'll sacrifice life or limb.
Those bastards change their minds on a whim.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Think you know the answer? Give it some thought and guess away. If you answer incorrectly, I'll laugh and poke fun at your severe lack of intelligence. Get it right however and earn the right to... oh who am I kidding? You'll win nothing and like it! NO ONE will solve my masterful riddle. I will reveal the answer in my next column.
Congratulations are in order for the most recent addition to the Main Page. I took great pleasure in promoting 'Plan as he is (was) probably the most complete writer left in LOP's Columns Forum. Because of his silly attitude and antics, 'Plan is also perhaps the most underrated writer around these parts so I hope this reinforces how talented the kid is with a keyboard. He may call himself "The Man in Magenta" but that shouldn't take away from what he's accomplished during his time here (or should it?). Me and 'Plan sort of grew up together as writers in the Columns Forum during the first half of 2008 and feedbacked one another frequently. I've got to know 'Plan as a person over the last several months and despite the fact that he's a foreigner, 'Plan is a great guy with the right type of mindset for this gig. We may argue about wrestling from every fucking aspect but I'm glad to call him a friend and even happier the two of us can once again write alongside each other.
Give LeBron his due but Carmelo is no slouch either! After struggling against the Los Angeles Lakers historically and in particular this past season, Anthony seems unstoppable in the Western Conference Finals and out deuled Kobe in Games 1 and 2. While Nuggets fans are disappointed Denver blew the first game in L.A., the bottom line is they stole home court. Until Bryant single handedly turned the tide in Game 3! While I still believe the Lakers will advance to the Finals, how fucking ignorant would NBA management look if L.A. lost to Denver after all the Kobe vs. LeBron hype we've witnessed as of late? All I know is the Conference Finals have been absolutely superb so far and the desperation three pointer James hit to steal Game 2 from Orlando will without a doubt be the buzzer beater we remember from the 2009 Playoffs. It's crazy how lost the Magic are in the championship discussion when the team has overcome the odds repeatedly and hit clutch shot after clutch shot.
Please plug me if I'm worth a damn... Aye aye captain!
Put this one to bed, people. I just realized me and Mavsman never officially announced the recent location switch of For The Win. For those who visit the LOP Forums, you probably noticed that we posted the Judgment Day edition in the Columns Forum. After several conversations with Mavsy, I've decided to instead feature FTW from within the Columns Forum. With me posting so often as of late and nine other writers to share the spotlight, the last thing I wanna do is clutter the Main Page when there's plenty of room elsewhere. We are aiming to make For The Win a far more interactive tradition and feel it will work best in the CF. As for this bad boy, I'll be back next weekend with James_A and a special guest for the newest edition of Examine The Irritation! You need to show me some love right now and hit me up at (SkitzLOP@aol.com) as evidence. It may be four or five days late but responses will come to an inbox near you. Until next time, don't forget to spray your ice cream scoops with happy sauce. Later homies.
