Posted in: Taste My Rainbow Taste My Rainbow [41] - Go Go Gadget Gimmick!
By SkittleZ
Mar 29, 2009 - 12:57:16 AM
[41] - Go Go Gadget Gimmick!
If you haven't read Hustle's latest pair of columns for some ridiculous reason, March Madness is running wild all across the country! The shit is mad addicting that's for sure. I've really become a huge fan of Oklahoma and Michigan State even though there's an excellent chance neither team will make it past the Elite Eight. Just like with my wrestling predictions, I'm a jinxed sports fan so I pretty much always expect the teams I root for to go down in flames. Oh look at me being all rude and impolite. Hello once again my Fruity Followers. They call me SkittleZ and this is the mistress I run off to sleep with every weekend - Taste My Rainbow! The column that keeps coming back for more.... of something I haven't quite figured out yet. As for what we've got in store for today, please welcome my 37th special guest of 2009. Mazza has been running roughshod all over the Columns Forum, just won February CotM and many are touting him as the next DaveyBoy. Alright so only I've been saying that but nevertheless, he's joining us today so feel special. But firstly, I think a little gloating is in order.
The answer to TMR [40] was indeed "Al Snow". Wait a minute this can't be right.... a 0% Correct Guess Ratio!? Ha! What a bunch of nincompoops! I know LOPers aren't the smartest bunch but damn. Have my riddles really become impenetrable? Probably not but let me enjoy my brief time in the spotlight! Eighteen stepped forward and every single one of them fell to greatness! Or another batch of vague clues. Either way, I'm giving you the opportunity to redeem yourselves.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm in the midst of my second run with the WWE.
When I first returned and wrestled, the I.W.C. was high on me.
Strutting around the locker room like I own the company.
My old stable bounced around the ring happily.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Think you know the answer? Give it some thought and guess away. If you answer incorrectly, I'll laugh and poke fun at your severe lack of intelligence. Get it right however and earn the right to... oh who am I kidding? You'll win nothing and like it! NO ONE will solve my masterful riddle. I will reveal the answer in my next column.
As much as TNA gets criticized for it, WWE is no stranger to gimmicks themselves; as is the case with most organizations. However it can be disputed that WWE utilizes their gimmicks better than any other company around the globe. In particular, I'm referring to pay per view based gimmicks. Wrestler and match gimmicks are a dime a dozen but building one around an annual event successfully is no easy task. WWE has fallen into a pattern over the last few years of showcasing a specific match at a specific event. Which makes you wonder if every single pay per view of theirs will carry a certain gimmick a couple years from now. Is that necessarily a negative, though? WWE is simply amplifying the importance of PPVs and raising the anticipation level. Focusing more emphasis on each pay per view is bound to increase viewer interest and buyrates subsequently. I believe the WWE's making the right decisions and even in a slumping economy, they have the finances to keep improving. There's a good number of those pay per view based gimmicks which I'd like to comment on and Mazza has volunteered to highlight some of these PPVs' greatest moments.
The 30-man Royal Rumble match is arguably the greatest gimmick match in the history of professional wrestling. Labeled as the most exciting 60 minutes of the year (which is true as the Ironman match pales in comparison) with the most high stakes reward on the line. While there's bound to be dry spells during such a lengthy bout, WWE has gotten much better over the last few years at spacing out their superstars throughout the Rumble. The company used to have a bad habit of cramming most of their main event talents in the final 10-12 spots which not only took away from the realism (if there ever was any) but the bouts' overall quality. The endings to the last couple Rumbles have been excellent as well with the Taker/HBK showdown, Cena's shocking return and Orton being the first heel to win it in a decade. With elimination only coming by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor, it's opened the door for countless heel wrestlers hiding out for long stretches and some infamous ringside encounters.
(Royal Rumble 1992) Ric Flair won the Royal Rumble in 62:02 to win the vacant WWF Championship
Let us go back to 1991. Ric Flair was in the WWF proclaiming to be the “Real World Champion”. At the Survivor Series, The Undertaker marked the end of his first year in WWF by defeating Hulk Hogan for the WWF Title in controversial fashion. At Tuesday in Texas in December, Hogan won the title back again in controversial fashion. Ric Flair’s interference was instrumental in both matches. As a result, WWF “President” Jack Tunney vacated the title and it would go to the winner of the 1992 Royal Rumble match. The other feud of note in the WWF was between Macho Man and Jake Roberts. Jake had disrupted the wedding of Savage and Elizabeth at SummerSlam 1991 and the Macho Man had taken every opportunity since to get his hands on “The Snake”. Respect must be given to Savage for actually taking a snake bite during this feud. Also to be noted was Sid Justice’s face run at the time in the WWF. Ted DiBiase (Senior) and The British Bulldog start things off and the Million Dollar Man is disposed of quickly. The first countdown begins and number 3 is… Wooo! Ric Flair. Flair was Bobby Heenan’s boy and he was devastated at seeing him enter the match so early and for the first time in his career, was actually speechless for a while. Nasty Boy Saggs and Haku arrive and leave before we get our first real taste of Shawn Michaels as a singles wrestler. Things start to get a bit crowded and clustered now as Tito Santana, The Barbarian, The Texas Tornado, Repo Man, Greg Valentine and Nikolai Volkov all enter the fray. During this time we got to see some classic Ric Flair as he sells a tornado punch by walking to the middle of the ring and falling flat on his face.
The Big Bossman is next to hit the ring and we have some spring cleaning. Flair eliminates Davey Boy and we end up being down to Flair and the Bossman. This didn’t last long and Flair ends up all alone in the ring as the clock starts to countdown…3…2…1… the new Intercontinental Champion, Rowdy Roddy Piper runs out to an almighty pop. The Rumble really starts to kick off now. We have a great 2 minutes including Piper no selling Flair’s atomic drop and poking him in the eye. This was followed by another great 2 minutes as Jake “The Snake” enters. This was wrestling psychology at its best. Jim Duggan, IRS, Snuka and the Undertaker are the next to enter the fray and the Deadman makes quick work of the Superfly. Next out is Randy Savage to another huge pop and he sprints to the ring to find Jake. Jake can’t avoid him for long and is eliminated but The Macho Man isn’t finished yet as he jumps over the top rope for some more. Taker makes the save and both he and Savage get back in (apparently you could not eliminate yourself that year). The pace slows again as The Berzerker, Virgil, Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) and Rick Martel enter the ring. Mustafa is quickly eliminated and next to join the party is The Hulkster. He immediately squares off against The Undertaker and eliminates both The Deadman and The Berzerker before having the time to rip off his shirt. Hacksaw and Virgil are eliminated and replaced by Skinner and Sergeant Slaughter. Skinner doesn’t last long and we get tasters of Hulk versus Piper and Hulk versus Flair.
Sid Justice and The Warlord are the last two men to join in the fun and games. Sarge, IRS and The Warlord are all eliminated before Sid takes out Martel and Piper together and we are down to the final four. Flair and Hogan square off again and Sid makes quick work of the Macho Man. Justice watches on and picks his moment to unceremoniously dump the Hulkster out of the ring. Hogan is pissed and grabs Sid’s arm as an opportunistic Flair flips him over the top rope to become the new WWF Champion. Flair quickly leaves the ring with Mr Perfect by his side and Heenan leaves his announce position. Sid and Hulk square off in the ring but are kept apart by an entourage including Gerry Briscoe and Pat Paterson. Listening To Sid’s RF shoot interview I thought he was pretty full of himself. He rates himself as the best but he actually out-popped Hogan in this showdown so fair dues to him. This is why I wasn’t a Hulkamaniac. Justice eliminates Hulk fairly and Hogan takes out Sid unfairly. I, at the tender age of 12, saw Hogan as a hypocrite. All in all it was a great rumble match and for me, easily the best. It had its slow, clustered parts as they all do but the quality on show in a time when big stars were kept apart kept things really fresh. There were enough storylines going on throughout to make it interesting and Heenan “marking” for Flair made for a classic night’s listening. CPR Rating: 9.5 (Coefficient 3)
Call me crazy but I believe there are instances where the Elimination Chamber has been more exciting from a fans perspective than Hell in a Cell. If you wanna rationalize it, the Chamber is the equivalent of a domed six man HIAC. The demonic structure made its' debut in late 2002 and makes yearly appearances. Instead of using it randomly, WWE has decided to go all out with the No Way Out theme by making the Elimination Chamber it's main attraction. I personally love the move and have no problem either with the pay per view showcasing two Elimination Chamber matches on the same card. I questioned WWE like most did initially but have come to accept it over the last calendar year. The main complaint being that featuring two matches involving ten competitors severely weakens the remainder of the card. I prefer to look at the bigger picture however. We know the WrestleMania card is going to be stacked so is it really such an issue if No Way Out solely revolves around two contests and presents a much smaller card? If anything, it balances everything out. Plus, the dual Chamber matches compliment 'Mania well and leave the title picture wide open with so many contenders.
(No Way Out 2009) Triple H defeated Edge (c), The Undertaker, The Big Show, Jeff Hardy, and Vladimir Kozlov in 35:55 in an Elimination Chamber Match to win the WWE Championship
I am sure this story is fresh in everybody’s minds and the match starts out with champion Edge squaring off against the man he won the belt from, Jeff Hardy. Edge starts out the match in control but Jeff gets on top and hits a Twist of Fate. He then goes for a Swanton but Edge moves out of the way and stalks for a Spear. Jeff manages to reverse the attempt into an inside cradle and before the third man enters the match, the champion and IWC’s favourite (not to mention a certain fruity friend of mine’s) is surprisingly eliminated. Edge’s departure blew this match wide open and Koslov is the next man in. The pace is slow and methodical as The Moscow Mauler dominates Jeff and we see a host of near falls. Jeff finally mounts some offense with a Whisper in the Wind as The Big Show joins the party. Show goes straight for Hardy and plays a game of one-upmanship with Koslov with poor old Jeff as their tool. The understanding eventually breaks down as Show and Koslov go at it just as the countdown signals the arrival of Triple H. Super H comes into the match as dominant as ever and takes the match to the steel before Show finally gets the better of him and Koslov works over Jeff. Show is firmly in control of Hunter before we see some team work from Jeff and The Game take down both men. Hardy then hits Triple H with a Whisper in the Wind as the The Undertaker comes in as the final participant. The Deadman controls all four men and hits Show with a DDT on the steel. Koslov finally gets in some offense on The Phenom but it is short lived as Taker hits the Last Ride to eliminate the Russian. It is now The Big Show’s time to dominate once again as he press slams Hardy onto Hunter who is on the steel. Show then throws Jeff into the chamber but he manages to hold onto it and climb onto one of the pods.
Show tries to go up after him but is joined by The Undertaker who hits the big man with a superplex. Triple H then hits Show with a Pedigree before Jeff hits a Swanton of the pod. Hunter makes the cover and we are down to three. Undertaker once again takes control of the battle but as he goes for Old School on Hardy, Hunter pushes him and he lands awkwardly on the ropes. Jeff then uses a fallen Taker as a base to hit Poetry in Motion on The Game who crashes against the chamber. That would however be Jeff’s last act as he soon walks into a Tombstone and we are down to the veterans, The Deadman and The Game. Taker is the first to score a near fall with a chokeslam before Hunter gets his own two count with a spinebuster. Trips next goes for a Pedigree on the steel but Taker reverses this into a slingshot into the chamber. Taker then hits a Tombstone in the ring but Hunter gets his foot onto the rope at 2.99999999. Out of nowhere, The Game hits a Pedigree but The Deadman kicks out, once again at as close to three as is possible. The two men go back to war and trade blows. Taker goes for a Last Ride but Hunter counters and hits a second Pedigree to become 13 time world champion. I absolutely loved this match as it really had a feeling that anything could happen after Edge’s early departure. The only negatives for me were Koslov’s, and then Big Show’s domination of Jeff which was a little boring as well as the fact that the chamber was used sparingly for offense. The finish between the two veterans of the WWE locker room was a thing of beauty and a reminder that they definitely need to work one more program together before Taker retires. Who would not want to see these guys go at each other in a Hell in a Cell match? CPR Rating: 9 (Coefficient 3)
Money in the Bank has transformed into a fantasy booker's dream. We witness 6-8 competitors face off for a World Title match in which they can cash in at any time within the following 365 days. Originally designed to elevate midcard wrestlers to the main event level or provide a shocking unforeseen title change. WWE should be commended with their cash-in booking decisions thus far with the last four Mania's and that trend is likely to continue. The only issue I have with MITB is it seems like we're seeing the same handful of guys in it every year when said match should ultimately be used to highlight talents on the rise. I realize a key group of the midcarders need a spot somewhere on the card but take this year's ladder match for example. Why the fuck is Finlay in the match instead of THE Brian Kendrick? And at the same time, who's idea was it to place Rey Mysterio in an Intercontinental Championship match when he should be in MITB? For some reason, Mark Henry's immovable ass made his way into the match over a much more agile and aggressive Umaga. Some of these just seem like common sense to me. Despite my negativity, MITB always lives up to the hype so perhaps WWE does have the winning formula.
(Wrestlemania 21) Edge defeated Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Christian and Kane in 15:17 in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Well if you are looking to make an impact with a new style of ladder match, this certainly had the correct participants. The only questionable choice for a match like this would be Kane and he would prove to be an interesting addition to the athleticism and technical skills on show. We start out with everyone trying to eliminate The Big Red Machine in the entrance way. Christian, who has his “problem solver” Tyson Tomko with him, quickly goes for the ladder but gets hit in the face with it courtesy of Y2J. The spots come thick and fast as Shelton flies over the ropes, taking out Jericho, Christian, Benoit and Tomko on the floor. Kane then flies at them from the top rope and takes out all five men. The participants play to their strengths as Benjamin and Jericho use their athleticism, Christian and Edge their craftiness, Benoit goes for Crossfaces and Kane just pounds the crap out of everyone with the ladders. Angry at being on the receiving end of a Crossface attempt, Kane smashes Benoit’s arm with the ladder before tasting a Spear from Edge. We have a brief E&C reunion when they give Kane what can only be described as a con-ladder-to. Benjamin then starts to stake his claim as match MVP when he is involved in a number of spots with Edge. Soon, all five smaller men are fighting at the top of ladders under the briefcase. Christian takes Benoit down with an armbreaker but Shelton once again tops it by taking Edge out with a T-Bone Suplex.
Jericho seems to be alone in his quest to win the match as he climbs but Benjamin’s next trick is to run up a ladder placed against the one Jericho is at the top of and clothesline Y2J off it (You know, the move in SDvRaw which always makes you fall flat on your face!). With Kane starting to look dominant again, Tomko interferes in the match and takes him out with a big boot. He then sets up a ladder and helps Christian to the top of it but Kane recovers to clothesline Tomko to the floor and then push Captain Charisma off the top of the ladder and into his bodyguard. Kane goes for the briefcase but is thwarted by Jericho as both men crash and burn when the ladder falls. Crowd favourite Benoit then gets involved in the action for the first time in a while and hits a diving headbutt on Kane from the top of a ladder, busting open stitches above his eye as well as his nose in the process. Benoit climbs but Kane sits up and meets him at the top of the ladder. The two men duke it out but Benoit comes out on top as Kane falls to the floor. Suddenly out of nowhere, Edge appears and smashes Benoit’s injured arm with a chair and the ultimate opportunist climbs the ladder to become the very first Mr. Money in the Bank. This match was a phenomenal concept and whoever thought of it should be highly praised (Jericho was credited with the idea in the storyline). This match was exciting from start to finish and it was only a shame it didn’t last longer. It definitely deserves its place alongside Shawn Michaels versus Razor Ramon and the TLCs from Manias 16 and 17. All 6-men (7 if you include Tomko) played their part in making this a highly exciting match but particular credit goes to Benjamin and Kane. CPR Rating: 10 (Coefficient 2)
In their latest attempt to distance themselves from the original ECW product, WWE altered the title of the June pay per view from 'One Night Stand' to 'Extreme Rules'. The '05 and '06 installments weren't strictly extreme rules matches but they have been since 2007 (although the comparisons between extreme and pudding matches are still up for debate). It's a fun gimmick during the summer that's served to mainly prolong feuds stemming from WrestleMania. Because of the card consisting of various gimmick bouts, one downside is we tend to see a drastic drop off in specialty matches throughout the summer. While WWE doesn't overuse their gimmick matches such as TNA does, Extreme Rules is causing them to be nearly extinct during May, June and July. If the PPV is ever going to stand on its' own and draw the hype that it's capable of, the WWE needs to space out the weeks between Judgment Day and Extreme Rules. They've bridged the two pay per views a little better this year but I'm a huge advocate of one PPV per month. I'm still doubtful whether the gimmick will stick around for the long term because of the mixed reviews it's garnered.
(One Night Stand 2007) The Hardys defeated The World’s Greatest Tag Team in 17:17 in a Ladder Match to retain the World Tag Team Championship
During the Hardy Men reunion of 2007, the WWE tag team division seemed really stacked for a while as great pairings were put together to give Matt and Jeff decent opposition to showcase their talents. Seemingly out of nowhere, this match was made for One Night Stand which had spot-monkey lovers everywhere cumming in their pants. The combined botch potential of Jeff and Shelton in the same match with ladders surely had to be entertaining. The first noticeable thing is that Matt and Jeff have rather homo looking matching outfits. That really screams we are no longer Boyz! The action starts off at a fast pace and it is not long before the ladders come into play. We soon get Haas as the meat in a ladder sandwich in the corner with a smidge of Benjamin on top as the Hardys hit an extreme Poetry in Motion. The crowd are not into the match at all at this point and when TWGTT botch a move, boos ring out. Haas and Benjamin are more than pulling their weight as both teams experiment with new ladder tricks and when the Hardys take control, they go for the extra large ladders. Shelton is soon down on a ladder placed between the ring and the barriers. Jeff goes to the top rope but Haas saves his partners by hitting a German Suplex from the top on Jeff. Matt then hits Haas with a Side Effect but as he goes for the belts, Haas and Benjamin push the ladder down and he gets clotheslined on the top rope.
Then, in a variation of the “vintage” TWGTT signature move, Haas holds Matt prone on a ladder which is set up against another one on the floor. Shelton then climbs a ladder in the ring and comes crashing down onto the back of Matt and the ladder (that was not easy to describe!). This move finally seems to hype the crowd and we get a “Holy Shit” chant. With Matt and Shelton feeling the effects of the spot, Haas and Jeff climb the ladder and we see Jeff hit a suplex on Charlie from the top. Jeff climbs again but Benjamin is back up. As I said earlier, Jeff Hardy + Shelton Benjamin = Epic Botch. As Shelton tries to springboard onto the ladder using the top rope, he loses his footing. Credit to Benjamin as he holds manages to hold onto the rope, perform a flip and dropkick the ladder, sending Jeff crashing to the mat. That alone was worth the PPV price. Benjamin goes for the titles but Matt comes back and Shelton is soon singing soprano as he straddles the top rope. The finish comes as all four men fight on two ladders underneath the belts. TWGTT push the Hardys’ ladder down but both land on their feet. They in turn push Haas and Benjamin’s ladder over and Shelton crashes and burns through the ladder on the outside he was laying on earlier. Jeff hits a Swanton on Haas and The Hardys climb to claim their belts. This was a very, very good ladder match. It was not always as smooth as it could have been but that is excusable as the match was seemingly thrown together. Shelton’s botch and save was a thing of beauty and adds half a point to my total. CPR Rating: 9 (Coefficient 2)
Honestly, I've never cared much whatsoever for the 'every match is a championship match' gimmick. Mainly because it handicaps the pay per view from ever being really good. If every belt in the company is to be defended, that means a ton of main event wrestlers will be shut out of the event on a yearly basis. And those individuals are taking a back seat to divas, meh tag teams, etc. If WWE's going to unify the Tag Team titles, they might as well merge the Women's and Divas belts too. If this subpar event has any chance of evolving into a permanent fixture, the company should devote more of their mismanaged time on building classic confrontations for NOC. Give us never-before-seen matches that fans clamor for rather than rushed thrown together bullshit that can hardly hold our interest. Look at last year's edition. After WrestleMania 22, fans were looking forward to a Cena/Trips rematch and the two put on an awesome match last June. Then you've got the World Heavyweight Championship match where as much as I love my Edgykins, no one in their right mind wanted to see him face off with Batista for the umpteenth time. Learn from the first two events and take it up a notch.
(Night of Champions 2007) Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Ric Flair in 8:40 to retain the United States Championship
Ah, remember the days when a heel MVP used to win matches? Me neither, that’s why I wanted to watch this again. I soon realized I had the added bonus of JBL on commentary. Magnum TA is in the front row and is introduced to the crowd before the match. MVP gets into his face saying he is the greatest man to have ever held the United States Championship. MVP gets some good heel heat by trash talking Flair, and The Nature Boy gets big pops by replying with a “Wooo!” as the bout starts with some good psychology. Flair tries to work on the leg early on but the cocky youngster takes control of the match thanks to some heel tactics and we are “treated” to some rest-hold headlocks. Flair finally gets back in the match with some vintage offense and he sets up for the figure-four. He locks in his signature move but Porter makes it to the ropes. Flair goes back on the attack but the “Dirtiest Player in the Game” ironically gets caught with a poke to the eyes, allowing MVP to hit the Playmaker for the victory. This match was a nice throwback to 2007 but it was far from a classic. The action was not bad but it did feel a little rushed. The trash talking and one-upmanship between the two at the beginning was very good though and a nice reminder of the potential that MVP has. CPR Rating: 7 (Coefficient 2)
I could be horribly wrong here by suggesting the Championship Scramble matches as an Unforgiven mainstay but I sense a theme on the horizon! Given how well the trio of Scramble matches worked out last September, the odds of them hanging around for the long haul are pretty good. Even though there are distinct differences between the two, the Championship Scramble bouts are like a new age Six Pack Challenge with one less participant. The concept is logical enough and much like No Way Out and WrestleMania, the Scramble bouts at Unforgiven can allow feuds more time to progress following SummerSlam. Midcarders such as Kendrick and Benjamin last year were given rare opportunities to step up and prove their worth. And like I was alluding to earlier, the three Scramble matches can set up programs heading into the fall. The action picks up with each additional participant joining the fray and just about everyone loves frantic fast paced conclusions.
(Unforgiven 2008) Triple H defeated Jeff Hardy, The Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin and Montel Vontavious Porter in 20:16 in a Championship Scramble Match to retain the WWE Championship
I really like the idea of the scramble match but WWE went overboard by giving us three in the same night. Although general consensus would rank the ECW version as the better of the three matches and the Raw version had the nice swerve, for me, the Smackdown version was the most exciting as Jeff Hardy continued his quest to become WWE Champion. The match starts out with Hardy going against Shelton Benjamin and they go back and forth with some nice counter-wrestling which sees a flurry of two counts for both men. This carries on for 5 minutes until The Brian Kendrick comes in as the third participant. Kendrick takes Benjamin out of the picture for a while and works over Hardy but Jeff becomes interim champion as he hits a move which is sort of like a flapjack on TBK. We go back to Shelton versus Jeff and Benjamin counters a Twist of Fate to land Pay Dirt. His cover is broken up by TBK who then hits Jeff with The Kendrick to start the longest reign in championship scramble history. Next out is MVP and he goes straight after Kendrick. With four athletic men in the ring, the action is kept interesting as TBK works hard to maintain his status as champion. He hits some beautiful dropkicks during this time and survives until the final entrant, Triple H joins the fun and games. Hunter comes in and destroys TBK with a spinebuster and Pedigree to become interim champion.
However it is not long until Jeff gains the upper hand once again with a Twist of Fate on MVP. With Triple H fighting Benjamin on the outside and less than 3 minutes left on the clock, things are looking good for Hardy. Jeff goes to the top rope but Hunter pulls his leg leading to an uncomfortable landing. The Game then enters the ring and again hits TBK with a Pedigree to regain pole position. However, as Hunter takes a breather, Jeff recovers to hit a Swanton on Kendrick to become interim champ for a third time. With 1:30 left on the clock, Hunter tries to lock Hardy into a Pedigree but Jeff counters. The bit players then show there worth as Shelton goes for a superplex on Kendrick and MVP powerbombs Benjamin in the classic three-man spot. Jeff then hits a Swanton on Shelton but is too tired to cover. With 10 seconds remaining, The Game hits MVP with a Pedigree and gets the three count with a second to spare. As the time runs out, Hardy scrambles to try and pin Shelton but is too late. After the match Jeff and Hunter shake hands as Trips tells Jeff he was so close. This was good action from start to finish without ever seeming clustered. All five men took their chance to shine and nobody really came out of this looking bad. It was a job well done and a very exciting finish. CPR Rating: 8.5 (Coefficient 3)
Cyber Sunday has definitely received more criticism than praise since its' inception in 2004. The main gripe pertaining to the legitimacy of WWE's open voting during the couple weeks prior to the pay per view. With so many fans chiming in with their preferences, the company had money on the mind as it didn't take them long to figure out they could be banking in on the millions of votes tabulated. Hence why it now costs a dollar for every text message vote towards a Cyber Sunday match. It's difficult not to question WWE's methods surrounding the PPV when you do a little research. The company claims that the voting for all matches remains open right up until said bout is underway. Even if the results are authentic, isn't at least a small amount of preparation needed to arrange each match on the card? If anything, WWE probably checks the polls right before the event kicks off to get a feel for which options are most likely to receive the nod. Then of course predetermined outcomes are decided for every individual(s) or stipulation on the card. When the fans supposedly vote for Miz & Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme rather than Priceless vs. CM Punk & Kofi Kingston for the World Tag Team Titles, who wouldn't double guess the WWE's motives? The gimmick hasn't been a complete flop but it's yet to really produce any awesome shows. The unpredictability and interactive aspect however make Cyber Sunday unique from any other pay per view.
(Taboo Tuesday 2004) Shelton Benjamin defeated Chris Jericho in 10:55 to win the Intercontinental Championship
This was the first match at the first Taboo Tuesday (now known as Cyber Sunday). Chris Jericho would defend his Intercontinental Championship against one of fifteen men and the choice of who would be made by public vote. Shelton Benjamin gained 37% of the vote coming off the back of three victories over Triple H at the start of his singles career. The bout starts off with Shelton showing his speed and he hits some nice arm drags before showing his athleticism when with a baseball slide. A face Jericho then uses some heel tactics to help get Benjamin over as the veteran takes control of the match. Benjamin regains control when Y2J goes to the top rope but gets caught with a picture perfect superplex. With the action once again going back and forth, Jericho misses a Lionsault which allows Shelton to hit a top rope clothesline for a long two count. Shelton then misses a Stinger Splash and Jericho tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho. Benjamin counters into a pin attempt for another two before Jericho scores with his second Lionsault attempt. It is now Shelton’s turn to kick out at two and Y2J gets frustrated. The finishing sequence sees Jericho Irish-whipped into the corner. He jumps onto the second rope but as he gets back down, he is hit with a T-Bone Suplex and Shelton is the new Intercontinental Champion. This was a really good start to the concept of an interactive PPV. Unfortunately, it was pretty much all down hill from here for the idea. The match itself was not a classic but highlighted the potential of Benjamin and the skills of Jericho. They did a very good job despite there being nothing earth shattering on display. CPR Rating: 8 (Coefficient 2)
Aside from the Royal Rumble, I think it's safe to say Survivor Series is the most anticipated gimmick pay per view of the year. We've seen a large decrease in traditional five on five elimination bouts as nowadays a Survivor Series card features no more than three of them. While the WWE's opted to mix it up, many wrestling fans proclaim that the original concept didn't need any altering to begin with. The older editions of Survivor Series were made up of nothing but traditional elimination matches and I have a hard time disagreeing with the inaugural format. When it comes to pay per views, most talents on the lower end of the roster are never given the time of day. Survivor Series should include several tag teams and midcarders for exposure purposes and familiarity with the bigger crowds. Maybe then we wouldn't see so many damn firings in the WWE every year. Newer prospects are so sheltered and held back that the majority of them are doomed from the start if they aren't a second generation wrestler or lack a sizable fanbase. This is the perfect opportunity to make the most of those guys by seeing if they can deliver come crunch time. We need more traditional elimination matches and new faces on display in said contests.
(Survivor Series 1990) The Million Dollar Team (Ted DiBiase, The Undertaker, The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine) defeated The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) in 13:54
Of all the traditional Survivor Series match-ups, you may be wondering why I picked this one. First of all, look at the talent on show. I think that when all is said and done, only one of these men won’t be in the WWE Hall of Fame. Secondly, this was the WWF debut of the Undertaker. That right there is enough for this to be one of the most memorable matches ever. The Undertaker was a mystery partner and the last man to the ring. He was accompanied by Brother Love and looked absolutely intimidating. So who was the first man to try him out? Well that would be a man he would see a lot of in his career, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Taker well and truly overpowers Bret who tags in his partner, The Anvil, but he lucks out too. Koko is the next to try his hand but gets Tombstoned as we see the first elimination of the match. The Deadman tags out and the action becomes a little less one sided. The sides soon even up after Neidhart eliminates Honky with a powerslam but DiBiase restores his team’s advantage to eliminate The Anvil after interference from his bodyguard, Virgil. Bret and Dusty rally for a while but when Taker gets tagged in, he shows his agility by eliminating Rhodes with a top rope clothesline.
Brother Love lays some kicks into Dusty on the outside but The Dream regains his bearings and fights back. The Undertaker goes to save his manager and gets counted out as a result. Back in the ring we are down to 2-on-1 and as Valentine tries to finish off the job with a figure-four, Bret roles him up in a small package as the match becomes Hart versus DiBiase. We are treated to three minutes of tremendous action between these two legends and it goes back and fourth with an upset by Bret teased with a few two counts. Bret eventually hits a high-cross body but his momentum allows DiBiase to role through to become the sole survivor for his team. This was a really strong match as far as traditional Survivor Series encounters go and it had a bit of everything. The impact of the Undertaker was very important and the excellent booking in this contest made him look very strong and this was the basis for the rest of his career. The eliminations came thick and fast in the middle of the match and the DiBiase and Hart finish showed excellent chemistry and action. It is a shame that Ted Sr’s career was winding down when Bret hit the top because that really would have been a money (pun intended) feud. CPR Rating: 8.5 (Coefficient 2)
So with all that being said, this is where you fit into the equation. The whole concept of this column came to me out of pure curiosity as to how the average fan felt about these pay per view based gimmicks. I'd like to know how each of you would rank all eight of the gimmicks me and Mazza touched on above. It can be which are your favorite or which you feel are the most effective and over with fans. Just create a list (1-8) and send it my way. I'll be tallying them all to see which gimmick receives the most love and which gets no love. I've got an idea of how this will play out but I'm interested to see if my suspicions are anywhere near accurate. And feel free to chime in about anything regarding the gimmicks that I failed to mention or glaring candidates I left out of the discussion.
Might as well call it quits now. The Phoenix Suns are FUCKED. Just a few weeks ago, I was still fairly confident that Steve Nash & Co. would eventually catch up to the Mavericks and possibly secure the final playoff spot in the Western Conference. Unfortunately, it's looking pretty grim right now. The Suns are several games behind Dallas and an overtime loss to the Utah Jazz last night dug their hole a little deeper. After the way this season has played out, I shudder to think what Phoenix's team will resemble in 2010. On a positive note, the Celtics bounced back after a tough loss to the Orlando Magic with a big road victory over the Atlanta Hawks. Boston usually always jumps back on track following a loss and refocuses their main objective. With Kevin Garnett back and seemingly healthy, I have no doubt the Celtics will finish out their final eight games of the season strong. Hopefully, the team doesn't suffer any more setbacks before the postseason begins when you factor how badly Boston's been plagued by injuries.
Plugging whatever floats my boat...
Meet Swanton Bomb. A talented up-and-coming columnist who shares my obsession with color schemes. - Droppin' The Bomb #7 - Elevation
Uncle Joe may be gone for the most part but a heaping helping of Cicero always does the trick for me. - International Fun Slide [f]
Thus concludes our lesson for the day (take that, Sean T!). Work has been hectic as of late so the microscopic social life that I did have all but evaporated over the last week or two. Fortunately, that gives me more time to write and therefore I've whipped up a nice concoction to help you cope with the post-Mania trauma. Dr. Monkey, anonymous and myself are putting together an epic four part series which I'm assuming will run from the Sunday following WM25 until early May. Once that baby concludes, I shall return to solo columns for months and months. Instead of perfecting the art of the collaboration, I'll most likely kill it before all is said and done. Whether you agreed with everything or not a single word, let me know what you thought of this and don't forget to send in any riddle guesses or gimmick rankings. Hit up the candy factory at (SkitzLOP@aol.com) so I can feel important. Until we meet again, try to refrain from bestiality at all costs. I'm off to watch that new Quizno's commercial (PUT IT IN ME SCOTT) repeatedly until I can't stand it anymore. Later homies!
