Posted in: Hustle Is Posting Right Now Hustle Is Posting Right Now: Volume 54 ("Surprise" Edition)
By Hustle
Aug 25, 2009 - 9:24:43 PM
Good lookin out, Ro.
"If your flow's Aquafina, I'm Katrina.."
This week's intro line is being brought to us by Slaughterhouse's West Coast representative, Crooked I. By the way, for you fans of hip-hop, the Slaughterhouse album is my choice for album of the year to this point, edging out the Eminem album that I hyped up for several weeks. Welcome, members of society, to yet another edition of the column that is too hot to handle and too cold to hold.. Hustle Is Posting Right Now. I'm sitting at the keyboard, so that must make me the man that has the Kardashians keeping up with him.. it's ya boy, Hustle, right back in the building. Damn, I have some pretty shitty luck when it comes to my posting deadlines, apparently. Hawaii had to deal with a Tropical Storm two weeks ago, and it lingered around for a few days, causing me to cancel my weekly trip to Kinko's. Last week, let's just say I had some very important plans that had nothing to do with wrestling whatsoever. I thought about coming in on Friday to post, but then I would've been stuck with a shorter week for my next column, and I didn't want to do that to myself. Here I am, though. Here I am. I don't want to fuck around anymore, so, uh, I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!
Every Monday night, "C" and I have our own little routine for watching Raw, and it's one that goes back further than Lil Mama's hairline. First and foremost, it probably isn't until between 1 and 2pm that he wakes up, so half the day is already gone. We'll take care of any errands that need to be run, then we'll grab something to eat (neither one of us can cook worth a damn), then it's time to head back home for whatever the hell TV shows we watch religiously on Mondays (it varies, depending on the time of year, of course), which takes us right into Raw at 9pm. From time to time, either accidentally (people posting things on Facebook or texting me) or purposely, I'll learn the results of the show before it actually airs here in Hawaii, but for the most part, we watch it "live".
Spoilers, since the beginning of the IWC's boom in popularity, have always been a hot topic for debates. Some people read them all the time, no matter what. Some people read them to gauge whether or not a particular show will be worth watching. Some people avoid them like the plague. Being so far behind the EST zone, I've always had to deal with "spoilers", for the most part. When Raw (and Nitro, when it was around) ends "live", there are still 4-5 hours until it begins airing here. When ECW ends "live", there are still 1-2 hours until it begins airing here. Impact and Smackdown are pretty self-explanitory. Raw (once again, and Nitro, when it was around) is the only show I don't "spoil" for myself 100% of the time. Damnit.. I'm starting to ramble a bit and move away from the actual direction of this column.
*ahem*
The point is that, for as long as I've been a fan of wrestling, there have been things that have always made my jaw drop, for one reason or another. I've had conversations with a few of you in the world of e-mail about things going on right now that surprise me, or how much surprise a potential storyline may have, so I figured it was time to discuss some of those things here for the masses. Again, there are multiple reasons that these things were surprises.. a debut or a turn that you didn't expect to see, a match result that you were 100% sure was going to go the other way, etc. This won't be in any particular order or anything. I'll just list things as I think of them. For reasons that I'd think would be pretty obvious, I will not be including wrestler deaths in this column. It just wouldn't seem right.
1-2.. 3?? Wait.. what??
Back in its infancy, Monday Night Raw would be host to the occasional "squash" match. Not like the "squash" matches that happen on Raw today, where Midcarder A beats Midcarder B in 2:30. No, I'm talking about the type of matches that Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson get on ECW every week.. some no-name schmuck comes in and gets decimated, gets hit with a finisher or two, and the match is over. One such week, the "lucky" wrestler designated for "squash duty" was The Lightning Kid, going up against the 6'8" tall Razor Ramon.. a man who would go on to become a four-time Intercontinental Champion, as well as one of the most underrated wrestlers of the last 20 years. Surely, it would be a quick victory for "The Bad Guy", right?
Wrong.
Out of nowhere, Ramon was pinned by The Kid, and a new star was born. The Manhattan Center crowd went wild, and Razor was priceless with his post-match expression and antics. From there, the Ramon/Kid (who became The 1-2-3 Kid as a result of the victory) feud didn't do much for me, other than leading to Ramon's face turn and eventual stardom, but for that one night, 19 years ago, things were absolutely magical.
Apparently, Satan and Hitler are BFFs
It has happened numerous times, but whenever there's a search for a new General Manager of a WWE show (especially Raw), it allows for speculation aplenty. Name after name is tossed around, and the game of "Guess Who?" is always fun. On the July 15th, 2002 episode of Raw, things were no different. Who would be named Raw's new GM? When Vince McMahon came out to make the announcement, excitement was building, but nobody.. nobody.. could've expected what was about to go down, and I swear to you, I heard jaws all across the IWC hit the ground when Eric Bischoff was standing on stage right next to the man that he tried to put out of business for the entire "Monday Night Wars".
Then they hugged.
Yes.. Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff.. mortal enemies for a few years.. were standing together on stage, hugging as if they had been best buddies for their entire lives. I'm sure Vince got quite a good deal of satisfaction in having Bischoff work for him, and really, I can't say that I'd blame him, but watching them together was just surreal. Bischoff even went on to become the longest reigning General Manager in Raw history, and while his reign was filled with countless jokes about WCW made at his expense, that's still a fact worth mentioning, because most people didn't think it would last anywhere near as long as it did.
You know, now that I think about it.. I really miss Bischoff. For the most part, I'm enjoying these Guest Hosts that Raw has been having, but as far as a regular General Manager goes, Easy-E was incredible at his job. I'm sure the odds of him making his return are slim (although maybe not as slim as the odds that he'd even debut in the first place), but I'm crossing my fingers nonetheless. That's not a discussion for this column, though, I suppose.
Didn't anybody notice The Lex Express parked outside?
WWF (don't sue me, Pandas) superstar Lex Luger was pretty darn close to the top of the company for a while. While he never did become WWF Champion, he did get to main event (and semi-main event) multiple PPVs after turning face. His work as "The Narcissist" went over as well as a fart in church, but as soon as he switched to the red, white, and blue Zubaz workout pants and "bodyslammed" Yokozuna on the 4th Of July, the crowds ate his schtick up with a spoon. As I mentioned, he never did reach the top of the WWF food chain, but he remained in the mix, and was incredibly popular with the fans.. meanwhile, unbeknownst to the mostly pre-IWC world, he was secretly in negotiations with Eric Bischoff and WCW to "jump ship" and make an appearance on the debut episode of WCW Monday Nitro.
During said episode of Nitro, things seemed relatively normal. Well, as normal as they could be, considering that a wrestling show was being held in the middle of a mall. Then, Luger changed that by walking down the aisle as if he was researching what was going on. He was portrayed as someone who wasn't supposed to be there (although Bobby Heenan, in his heel role as Devil's Advocate, hilariously brought up the good point that the show was being held in a very public place, and that Luger could've just been there shopping). We'd later find out that Lex was, for the most part, screwing Vince McMahon around by saying that he was fully committed to re-signing with the WWF, all while stalling and delaying the actual signing of a new contract, so he could continue negotiating with WCW. Of course, look at Lex Luger now, then look at Vince McMahon now.. bad choice, Flexy Lexy.
The belt's bigger than he is!
For years, Rey Mysterio (Rey Mysterio Jr, to all you old school WCW fans) has been one of the most exciting and popular people to step foot in a wrestling ring. However, the one thing that has always held him back from achieving success outside of his weight class was his size. Short in stature (anywhere from 5'3" to 5'8", depending on what source you're checking), and for a while, small in musculature, Rey seemed destined to remain with the "little guys".
When Eddie Guerrero passed away, however, things appeared to be on the road towards major change. Rey began dedicating all his matches to the memory of his fallen friend, and he began winning more and more of those matches. He would go on to win the Royal Rumble, which was a big enough surprise in and of itself. When he was placed into a Triple Threat for the World Title at WrestleMania 22, people figured that he'd be able to "lose" the match without actually having to lose the match. Boy, were they wrong. When he officially became the NEWWWWW World Heavyweight Champion, the very first words out of my mouth were "You have got to be kidding me.", and I'm willing to bet that I wasn't alone in thinking that. The title reign just screamed "joke" and was, in my opinion, only done to capitalize on the chants of "Edd-ie, Edd-ie" that were heard in arenas across the globe at the time. Sure enough, Rey's title reign became a joke, with him being squashed in just about every match he was in (he lost multiple non-title matches in a row) until he finally dropped the belt. Honestly, the fact that he hasn't even come close to sniffing the World Title again, even though he's more solid in the ring and is even more over with fans now, makes it appear as if the Eddie piggybacking is true, and that's a shame.
I guess it wasn't such an easy night, after all, huh?
Going into WrestleMania 22, John Cena and Triple H were building up their main event match quite nicely. It boiled down to blue-collar (Cena) VS blue-blood (HHH). Triple H, the arrogant heel, constantly put down Cena's abilities at every turn, saying how it was going to be one of the easiest matches of his entire career. I've said it before, and it's worth saying again.. burying your opponent like that does absolutely nothing for your opponent, but it doesn't do a thing for you, either. It's so ridiculously counter-productive that it makes my brain hurt just thinking about it. Moving on..
The smarky WrestleMania crowd was solidly behind Triple H during the match, even though he was the heel, and there weren't many people that expected Cena to walk out of the building with the title over his shoulder. Him tapping out to the STFU just wasn't something that people could picture in their heads. As the match went on, and the crowd got hotter and hotter, things were looking good for Triple H and those rooting for him. When Cena finally did lock in the STFU, I assumed it would only be a matter of time before Trips made the ropes to break the hold. Unfortunately (fortunately for me, I guess), he didn't break the hold, and he shocked the world by tapping out at WrestleMania once again.
So, John Cena, the guy who just isn't very good, made Triple H tap out in the middle of the ring, even though Trips said the match would be a cakewalk for him.. proving my point that burying your opponent that way does nothing for you. If Cena is so bad, and he won, how shitty does that make Triple H??
A Medium-sized surprise, followed by a Large-sized surprise
This one has always been one of my favorites. Watching Scott Hall (aka Razor Ramon, for those of you not "in the know") walk through the crowd on WCW Monday Nitro was one of the more stunning visuals that I can remember in all my years of watching wrestling. What the hell was he doing there? What was going on? The Nitro announce team played their roles well (except for Larry Zzzyzybbyyyzzzzssszzkkkkkkkooo, who didn't do anything well), sounding absolutely shocked to see Hall in the arena. Hall then entered the ring and cut a promo, further shocking people by saying that it was a hostile takeover, and basically giving the impression that the WWF was sending guys to WCW so that they could.. well.. take over. Time went by, and Hall promised Eric Bischoff a "big surprise", which turned out to be Kevin Nash (who had been working as Diesel in the WWF until that time), furthering the "takeover" assumptions. Sure, we'd go on to learn that it wasn't actually a "WWF VS WCW" storyline, but it still turned out to be something special.
Cruising down the Primrose Path
Sure, I could've included this along with the previous one, but hey.. my column, my rules. Anyway.. few names in the entire storied history of professional wrestling transcend the business. One of those names, however, is Hulk Hogan. For a dozen years, he was one of the biggest names to lace up wrestling boots and step foot in a ring, and he was what you'd have to consider the epitome of what a face wrestler is.
Up until he shocked the world and turned heel, that is. He was revealed as the mastermind behind Scott Hall and Kevin Nash appearing in WCW, and together, they formed the nWo, which would then go on to accomplish a thing or two. Perhaps you've heard of them.
Damn, that's a large crowd
At the height of the Monday Night Wars, there may not have been a bigger name in all of wrestling than Bill Goldberg. Yes, an argument can be made for people like The Rock and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, but WCW (usually) ran shows in much bigger venues than the WWF did, so you might have had 10,000 people cheering for "The People's Champion" on any given Monday night, while you'd have 25,000+ people going absolutely apeshit for Gold-berg.. Gold-berg.. Gold-berg. He became quite the overnight phenomenon, let's just say.
This was also smack dab in the middle of the nWo's reign atop WCW. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan was the WCW Champion, and episodes of Nitro were following the same script, for the most part.. nWo pisses off wrestlers, wrestlers face nWo in a match, nWo interferes and uses their superior numbers to dominate the attack, lather, rinse, repeat. When Goldberg was given a shot at Hogan's title, most people expected it to be the same. The crowd inside Atlanta's (Goldberg's hometown) Georgia Dome was incredible. There were 41,000+ people in the building that night, but it looked like there were even more, and they were loud all night long.
The match itself was moving along how most people expected it to, and sure enough.. the nWo interference was about to take place. However, this was a special night, and that interference was countered, leaving just the two competitors in the ring. When Goldberg hit Hogan with a Spear (the wrestling move, not the weapon, although that might have been pretty fun to see), the Dome began rocking. I was still waiting for some sort of DQ to take place, though, even as Hogan was lifted up for the Jackhammer.. and even as he was hit with the move, causing me to swear the roof had just blown off of the building. Goldberg went for the pin, and he.. got it?? Holy shit. I was a couple weeks away from turning 16 when it happened, but even then, I knew just how historical the match was. Every one of my wrestling-watching friends was shocked that it went down the way it did. Like most people, we all thought that nWo interference would win out, and that Hogan would retain the title yet again. I'm glad we were wrong, though.
That's a shoot, brotha!
When the name "Vince Russo" comes up, what usually comes to mind? For some, it's Vic Venom and his column in the old WWF Magazine. For others, it's his somewhat disturbing obsession with having wrestlers fight over an object that is at the top of a pole. For me, I always think about one thing.. an incredible promo he cut on Hulk Hogan that blurred the lines between a work and a shoot.
Journey back with me, if you will, to WCW's Bash At The Beach pay-per-view in the year 2000. Jeff Jarrett was the reigning WCW World Champion, and he was booked to defeat Hulk Hogan at the event. Hogan, however, used the "Creative Control" clause written into his contract to override the booking decision. During the match itself, Jarrett "laid down" for Hogan, and Hogan pinned him to win the match and the title. Later in the show, Russo would come out and publicly fire Hogan, saying the result of the match was null and void, making Jarrett the champion once again. Russo would then book a new main event for the show, putting Jarrett up against Booker T for the belt. However, the promo is why I'm even writing this, so, just for shits and giggles, here's the full transcript of what Russo said when he came out during the middle of the show:
Three weeks ago, I left WCW and, quite frankly, I didn't know if I was going to come back. The reason I didn't know if I was going to come back or not is because, from day one that I've been in WCW, I've done nothing.. nothing but deal with the bullshit of the politics behind that curtain. The fact of the matter is I have a wife and three kids and I really don't need this shit. But let me tell you the reason why I did come back. I came back for every one of those guys in the lockeroom who, week in and week out, bust their ass for WCW. I came back for the Booker T's, I came back for every single guy in MIA, I came back for the Animals, Jarrett, the guys behind the curtain who give a shit about this company. Let me tell you who doesn't give a shit about this company.. THAT GODDAMNED POLITICIAN, HULK HOGAN! What happened out here tonight.. all day long, I'm playing politics with Hulk Hogan, because Hulk Hogan, tonight, wants to play his Creative Control card, and to him, that meant that, tonight, in the middle of this ring.. he knew it was bullshit.. he'd beat Jeff Jarrett. Well, guess what? Hogan got his wish, and got his belt, and he went home. I promise everyone here on my Goddamn grave, you will never see that piece of shit again! I know you paid good money to come here tonight, and no one is going to be ripped off tonight. So, Hulk Hogan now has the WCW belt.. and Hulk, let's refer to that as the Hulk Hogan Memorial Belt, BECAUSE FROM HERE ON OUT, THAT BELT DON'T MEAN SHIT! BECAUSE, THERE WILL BE A NEW WCW BELT, AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THAT BELT STILL BELONGS TO THE ONE GUY WHO BUSTED HIS ASS WEEK IN AND WEEK OUT IN THIS RING. YOU CAN LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM, BUT HE DOESN'T SCREW ANYONE BACKSTAGE.. AND THAT'S JEFF JARRETT. Jeff Jarrett is still the official WCW Champion, but he will defend that title in this ring tonight, AND HE WILL DEFEND THAT TITLE AGAINST A SON OF A BITCH BACK THERE WHO, FOR 14 YEARS, HAS BEEN BUSTING HIS ASS IN WCW AND CAN'T GET A GODDAMN BREAK BECAUSE OF HULK HOGAN.. I'M TALKING ABOUT BOOKER T! BOOKER T AND JEFF JARRETT ARE THE TWO REASONS WHY I'M IN THIS GODDAMN RING TO BEGIN WITH, SO TONIGHT, THOSE TWO GUYS WILL COMPETE FOR THE NEW WCW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! HOGAN, YOU BIG BALD SON OF A BITCH, KISS MY ASS!
Russo has since gone on record in saying that the entire thing was a work, and that Hogan knew everything that was going on. Hogan, on the other hand, said that Russo's part was all a shoot. Eric Bischoff has the same memory of the events as Hogan.. things leading up to Hogan winning the title were all a work, but that Russo took it upon himself to come out and turn things into a shoot. Work, shoot, or worked shoot.. that's one helluva promo.
Here comes the pain!
At this point in time, it's relatively safe to say that Brock Lesnar is a freak of nature. To be in ownership of that combination of size, speed, strength, and athleticism just isn't fair to mere mortal human beings. Upon his WWE arrival, I can remember being impressed each and every time he was on my TV screen, but there was one thing he did in his WWE infancy that blew my mind and is one of the first things I always think of when his name comes into conversation.
He picked Rikishi up with ease, TOSSED HIM UP INTO THE AIR, and hit him with the F5.
No, I don't think you quite understand, ladies and gentlemen.
He took a 400+ pound man, picked him up off the ground as if he were an average-sized woman, TOSSED HIM UP INTO THE AIR, and caught him on the way down for the F5! We, as wrestling fans, have seen feats of strength for years, and have seen numerous ones since then, as well.. but, for my money, that was sheer insanity. Yes, John Cena lifting people like Big Show up for the FU is impressive, but, for the most part, he just holds him up and uses momentum and gravity on his side to help slam his opponents. Brock, on the other hand, had to take the weight that was across his shoulders and toss it into the air as if it was nothing more than a bag of manure. That's just not right.
Coming off of the second biggest pay-per-view on the WWE calendar, I suppose now is as good a time as any to chime in with my SummerSlam thoughts and opinions, no?
- The opener was extremely solid. Dolph Ziggler, in my opinion, was put squarely "on the map" with his performance in this match. He even had a large section of the Staples Center crowd cheering for him by match's end, impressive, especially considering his opponent was wrestling an hour or two away from his hometown and is already one of the more over faces in the entire company. I don't think this feud is quite over. (Rating: 3.75 stars out of 5)
- Admittedly, I wasn't expecting a whole lot out of MVP VS Jack Swagger, but only due to the lack of real build-up the match had received, not out of a lack of faith in the men competing. Even with those lowered expectations, I was still let down a little bit. The match never really got out of first gear, and it just ended, almost out of nowhere. Had they been given more than six minutes to work with, things could've been better, but as it is, I wasn't really feeling this one. (Rating: 1.5 stars out of 5)
- Going into the Unified Tag Team Titles match, I was expecting a Cryme Tyme victory and brief title reign, if for no other reason than they need to be pushed to that level eventually, don't they? While they didn't win, they were still booked to be pretty impressive, basically holding their own for the entire match. The ending was a little too sudden for my liking, but with CT being booked like that, WWE may very well be on their way to building their tag division back up again.. but I wouldn't bet the farm on it just yet. (Rating: 2.75 stars out of 5)
- The less said about Khali VS Kane, the better. At least the right man won. (Rating: DUD)
- The pleasant-est of all pleasant surprises has been taking place in the last few weeks of build-up for the DX VS Legacy match, including the match itself.. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase have been made to look like absolute stars, which is a huge change from the complete tools they were booked as for the last year or so. Someone with some backstage pull has clearly been reading my columns. If the show's opener was a coming out party for Ziggler, this match was a coming out party, of sorts, for Rhodes and DiBiase. This was the best they've looked since becoming members of the WWE roster, and there were a few times I actually had my eyes widen, thinking they were about to win the match. While it didn't happen in every match, one of the overwhelming themes of SummerSlam was building up both the winners and losers of a particular match, and this was a prime example of just that. Off the top of my head, this was probably the best WWE tag team match of the year, and if not, it was right up there. Bonus points for having the right man get the pinfall victory. (Rating: 4.25 stars out of 5)
- At the exact second I type this out, SummerSlam has now been off the air for nearly seven hours, and I STILL don't quite understand the point in having Christian beat William Regal so quickly. I totally get that Regal applying the Regal Stretch after the match is a sign of things to come with Breaking Point coming right around the corner, but seriously.. they couldn't have been given more than a virgin's nut to work with out there? Just because I can, I'm not even going to bother rating this, as it was more of a segment than a match.
- The ending of the Randy Orton VS John Cena match was one of the most comically overbooked things in the entire history of professional wrestling, with all the restarts, interference, referee assistance, rule changes, etc.. but I still enjoyed the match, for the most part. The crowd was really into it, even through the numerous endings, which really helped move things along. I somewhat expected Cena to win the title, but I wasn't shocked that he didn't, as it set things up for the rematch quite nicely. These two just have much better chemistry in the ring than Orton and Triple H do, which made it a nice change-of-pace from what we've been getting all year long. (Rating: 3 stars out of 5)
- That was a pretty good TLC match, in my opinion. Both Jeff Hardy and CM Punk put it all on the line out there, and we got to see several cringe-worthy bumps, including an insane Superplex from Punk to Hardy on top of a ladder, which probably hurt Punk much worse, seeing as how he landed on the edge of the ladder. In my mind, the outcome of the match was pretty easy to see coming, but that didn't take away from the match at all. It was definitely a Match Of The Year candidate, that's for sure. (Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5)
- On top of all that, we got one of the better promos of the year with Punk talking about re-writing the ending to "The Jeff Hardy Story", as well as a return from The Undertaker that was impressively done and may be quite symbolic (Exit #1 Face Jeff Hardy, Enter #1 Face The Undertaker) when all is said and done. Overall, thanks to two Match Of The Year candidates, one match on the verge of four stars, one other solid match, a great promo, and a memorable return, I'd have to say SummerSlam was well-worth the watch, and will definitely be worth picking up on DVD.
Hustle Highlight Of The Week: I had to venture outside of the pro wrestling world for this edition's HHotW winner. BJ Penn VS Kenny Florian from the UFC 101 pay-per-view gets the nod here, and not just because Hawaii boy Penn won the fight. There were rumors flying that Penn may have been done, especially coming off of his debacle against Georges St Pierre, and KenFlo was the rising star of the division that was all but guaranteed to mow through BJ and take his title. As Lee Corso would say.. "Not so fast, my friend!". BJ looked as impressive as I've seen him look in a long, long time, defeating KenFlo and setting up a potentially epic title fight against Diego Sanchez. That's a fight that needs to be booked for UFC's debut in Hawaii, I'll say that much right now.
Honorable mentions would be.. John Morrison VS Tyson Kidd (Smackdown - Two Weeks Ago).. Jeff Hardy VS CM Punk (Smackdown - Two Weeks Ago).. The epic beatdown that Anderson Silva put on Forrest Griffin (UFC 101).. Finlay VS Dolph Ziggler (Smackdown - Last Week).. John Morrison VS CM Punk (Smackdown - Last Week).. Kofi Kingston VS Carlito (Raw - Last Week).. Evan Bourne VS The Miz (Raw - Last Week).. Samoa Joe VS Homicide (Impact - Last Week).. D'Angelo Dinero VS Consequences Creed (Impact - Last Week).. The Motor City Machine Guns selling their services to the world (Impact - Last Week).. Rey Mysterio & Cryme Tyme VS Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho, & Big Show (Smackdown - Last Week).. John Morrison & The Hardy Boyz VS CM Punk & The Hart Dynasty (Smackdown - Last Week).. Rey Mysterio VS Dolph Ziggler (SummerSlam).. DX VS The Legacy (SummerSlam).. Randy Orton VS John Cena (SummerSlam).. Jeff Hardy VS CM Punk (SummerSlam).. The news that Bryan Danielson has signed a WWE contract.. DX & Vince McMahon VS Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, & Cody Rhodes (Raw - Last Night)
What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Fallin" by Asher Roth.. "Sickology 101" by Tech N9ne, Chino XL, & Crooked I.. "Midwest Choppers" by Tech N9ne, Krayzie Bone, & K-Dean.. "Nothin" by Tech N9ne, Messy Marv, & Big Scoob.. "Blown Away" by Tech N9ne.. "Dysfunctional" by Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko, & Big Scoob.. "Far Away" by Tech N9ne & Krizz Kaliko.. "Red Nose" by Tech N9ne.. "Trick'n" by Mullage.. "Look What I Got" by Playaz Circle.. "Hands Up" by Freeway.. "All My Life" by Jay Rock & Lil Wayne.. "Everything" by Lifehouse.. "Walk" by Pantera.. "Them Bones" by Alice In Chains.. "Man In The Box" by Alice In Chains.. "Blind" by Korn.. "Cali Love" by Tyga.. "Therapy" by India Arie.. "Under" by Pleasure P.. "Funkdafied" by Da Brat.. "Da B Side" by Notorious BIG & Da Brat.. "Pray (It's A Shame)" by Slaughterhouse.. "A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Ralph Wiggum" by Bloodhound Gang.. "I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Your Only Friends Are Make Believe" by Bloodhound Gang.. "The Ballad Of Chasey Lain" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Three Point One Four" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Balls Out" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Mope" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Pennsylvania" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Something Diabolical" by Bloodhound Gang.. "Darling Angel" by Rebel Souljahz.. "The One" by Rebel Souljahz.. "Nothing To Hide" by Rebel Souljahz.. "I'm Not The Man For You" by Rebel Souljahz.. "I Want You To Know" by Kekai Boyz.. "Ante Up (Remix)" by M.O.P., Busta Rhymes, & Remy Ma.. "Fly" by Sugar Ray & Super Cat.. "Breathe" by The Prodigy.. "International Players Anthem" by UGK & Outkast.. "The Game Belongs To Me" by UGK.. "I'm Carrying Your Love With Me" by George Strait.. "I Cross My Heart" by George Strait.. "Wonderful Tonight" by Damage.. "Wonderful Tonight" by Kotch.. "Tha Block Is Hot" by Lil Wayne.. "Go DJ" by Lil Wayne
There you have it, gotdamnit. Another edition of HIPRN is now bagged, tagged, and ready to leave The Trap. One mo' gen, I'm sending a shout-out to everyone that has decided to ride with me for another week. You folks are the reason I continue doing what I do. Hell, I'd even venture so far as to say you're helping to make all my dreams come true. Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doodoo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum. Well, if there are any of you still reading this after I put that in my column.. I'll be back sometime in the next 7-21 days (hopefully closer to the 7 than the 21) with another Hustle Original. I'm working on several columns right now, so I have no idea which one it'll be when we see each other again, but it'll be something. Until then, it's time for me to dip like Freak Nasty, nah'mean? From right here.. no, not over there.. right here.. no, to the left.. a little bit more.. little bit more.. yeah, right here.. I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa.
”I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meetin quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda..”
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