Posted in: Hustle Is Posting Right Now Hustle Is Posting Right Now: Volume 53 ("Punk'd?" Edition)
By Hustle
Aug 4, 2009 - 10:40:01 PM
Good lookin out, Ro.
"I ain't crazy.. I say shit that's crazy to crazy people to make em believe I'm crazy so they can relate to me.."
This week's intro line is being brought to us by Slim Shady himself.. Eminem. Sure, I might come across as being off the wall sometimes, but it's all to relate to some of you crazy bastards. You know who you are. Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, churren, babies, and in-betweens, to yet another edition of the column that can't get enough of your love.. Hustle Is Posting Right Now. I just so happen to be the man that has tongues twisted.. Sir Hustle VonHustlington, Esq. ReaderLand, how is you be? I is be good, and I hope you are, too. This is my first column as a 27-year-old man! Thank you to everybody that sent along birthday wishes for me in the last few weeks. Much appreciated. In case you're wondering, I had a good time (as evidenced by the bit of a break that I've taken), but that's a story for a different day (and probably a different type of website, as well). I'm starting to feel old, but not quite as old as this intro will be if I don't get things on and poppin, so, uh, I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!
I'm not a perfect person, nor have I ever claimed to be. I've made a lot of mistakes in my now 27 years on the planet, and I'm sure my days of screwing up aren't over. Vince McMahon and World Wrestling Entertainment have also had their fair share of mistakes through the years, with one of their more interesting ones taking place as I type this. It's a storyline that isn't brand new to the world of professional wrestling, but the twist that has been put on it this time around is what's a bit questionable in my mind.
In one corner, you have the current World Heavyweight Champion, Jeff Hardy. In the other corner, you have the "Straight Edge Superstar", and former World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk. Hardy, for those that are completely new to the world of pro wrestling, has had some pretty well-discussed battles with painkiller addiction, as well as some pretty well-speculated battles with other types of drugs. Punk, on the other hand, lives his life without any of the "vices" that others deal with.. he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, and he doesn't do drugs. They're very different people, who have made very different decisions in life, yet have an incredibly similar goal.. to be the absolute best at what they do for a living.
When I first read that there was a possibility of those two feuding with each other, I must admit that I cringed, because I had a nagging feeling that the storyline was going to take a wrong turn somewhere along the way, and that wrong turn looked to have finally taken place on Smackdown a mere four days ago with Jeff's in-ring promo to start off the show, as well as with Punk's "official" heel turn to end it.
I'm not a big fan of WWE's switch to a more kid-friendly product, but I absolutely understand the reasoning behind the change. With that said, however, I really have to question the intelligence of this storyline taking place, effectively making the man with the clean drug-free lifestyle a "bad guy", while praising the addict for being "unique". Without actually coming out and saying it, the point of Jeff Hardy's recent promos has basically been the following:
"I am who I am today because I make my own decisions in life, and I do the things that I want to do, not what society tells me I should and shouldn't do. Rules are always meant to be broken. Living your life like CM Punk is just boring, and you don't want any part of that."
Quite the dangerous line of thinking, especially considering the fact that, perhaps more than any other superstar in wrestling today, Jeff Hardy's fanbase has some mighty impressionable people in it. Is that really the message we should be putting out there for them to learn from? Is that really how we want people to think? What about the parents that bring their kids to WWE shows and have to sit through Hardy/Punk promo exchanges? Something tells me they probably aren't too happy with their kids rooting for the addict and booing the guy whose only real "bad" trait is that he doesn't do drugs.
A little over five years ago, a somewhat similar storyline was taking place between then WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero and challenger Kurt Angle. That storyline was done beautifully, in my opinion, and it's something that should've been looked at by Jeff Hardy, CM Punk, the WWE writers, and anybody else in charge of decision making before the current story took place. Back then, Kurt was preaching to the fans about Eddie's well-publicized battles with drugs and alcohol, and how Eddie's past made him a poor choice to represent the Smackdown brand as its champion. Eddie, in response, admitted to his problems and would talk about how he made mistakes. Mistakes that he then spent years trying to fix. It got heel heat for Angle, but it also helped Guerrero's face heat, because he was the figure that "Joe Schmoe" could relate to.. someone who was human, made mistakes, but tried to grow from those mistakes and become a better human being from them. He told people not to be like him and make the decisions that he made.
More recently, we had a fantastic storyline between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho that involved Shawn's past ways before he devoted his life to Christ and became a Born Again Christian. One of Jericho's main points of attack was that he felt HBK's changes were a "fraud" and that he hadn't actually left his "sinful" ways behind. Michaels spent his promos trying to distance himself from the "old" Shawn Michaels, and paint a picture of the "new" Shawn Michaels.. the man who became a follower of Christ, found the woman of his dreams, settled down, and started a family. He came across as a man who admitted to his mistakes, but found a way to atone for them, and is now as happy as he's ever been because of it.
Would it really be so difficult to get Jeff Hardy to come across as being somewhat apologetic for his past? I get that he's a bit of a "free spirit", and I get that his character has been built that way for years. However, he's only one step away from saying "Hey kids, do drugs and you can be just like me!" at this point. I have no idea how much of this is Jeff's doing compared to how much of this is the doing of the WWE writers and producers, but it's a strange similarity to Jeff not admitting that he has a problem and turning down offers to go to rehab. This could've been avoided, quite easily, if one of Jeff's first promos in this feud had him "man up" and try to distance himself from his past. At this point, after several weeks worth of promos, it might be too late to believably get that point across to everyone.
I'm not all negative on this feud and the storyline that backs it. Hardy and Punk have really good in-ring chemistry with each other, and they've put on a few great matches. Punk's "heel" work has always been better than his face work, so I can't really say that I'm too depressed to see him going in this direction. The one minor detail of how the company is handling Jeff's point of view is what has me worried about where things are headed.
We shall see, I suppose.
Hustle Highlight Of The Week: A couple weeks ago on ECW, Vladimir Kozlov's ultra-amazing lunge towards the ropes to knock down Tommy Dreamer, who was perched on the top turnbuckle and ready to fly, wins this week's HHotW. As I type this, it's 1:53am on the morning of the 15th, but I don't even care what else happens this week. That may be one of my favorite spots in the history of ever, based on its sheer awesomeness and complete ineptitude, all rolled into a hilarious, damn-near-break-your-neck-and-blow-out-both-of-your-knees-at-the-same-time package. I have ZERO idea what the hell he was thinking when he first dove for the ropes, but Vladimir.. damnit, I thank you for doing so. I deleted ECW from my DVR afterwards, but the five or so minutes of over-run remain available for me to watch until my heart explodes in joy. HE GAVE HIMSELF A STUN GUN, FERCHRISSAKE!
Honorable mentions would be.. plentiful, but because I've missed a few weeks, I'll just leave it as is. I will say, however, that Jeff Hardy and John Morrison just had an incredible match on Smackdown this past week, and that I hope it'll lead to further matches between the two (Ladder Match, perhaps?).
Writer's Note: Well, things regarding the 2nd Annual LoPForums.com WrestleMania Weekend Wrestling (W)Extravaganza have taken quite the interesting turn. Perhaps I should say that they may have taken quite the interesting turn, as nothing is for certain just yet. For those unaware, UFC has announced plans to hold a PPV here in Hawaii, and it's rumored to be sometime in the next year or so. It'll be UFC's first show here, as well as the company's first outdoor show and it's guaranteed to be the largest show in terms of attendance that they've ever had. I don't think there's any way that I could not attend the show, especially with my love for Mixed Martial Arts growing by the week.
As I've mentioned before, there are plans currently in motion for a large get-together in Phoenix during the week/weekend of WrestleMania 26. That's where the potential problem is.. if both shows are held at around the same time, it wouldn't be very wise, fiscally, to attend each one. At this point in time, if I had to choose only one, it would be UFC, for multiple reasons. For one, I've been to a WrestleMania before, but never to a UFC event. Two, I'd save a lot of money by not having to pay for airfare, hotel, etc. I'd also know my way around here a whole helluva lot better than I'd know my way around Phoenix, that's for sure.
I've already discussed it with a few people, but if any of you would like to make the trip to Hawaii to watch the UFC show, I'm down to have the shindig here. It's not like you'd really need an excuse to take a vacation to Hawaii. When the date for the Hawaii show is announced, I'll let everyone know immediately so that the proper planning can be made. I'm pretty sure I can handle the job of "Tour Guide" for everyone that shows up, and I'll do my best to make your time here worthwhile. Obviously, if you have any questions, feel free to send them my way.
I still want to head to Phoenix for WrestleMania, though, but it all depends on what date is chosen for the UFC's arrival here. If you want to attend both events, feel free to do so. Otherwise, it all boils down to what your personal preference would be. If it turns out that I won't be going to Phoenix, I'd hate to find out that some of you cancelled your plans, as well. Whether you go to Phoenix, come to Hawaii, or do both, I want as many of you as possible to have a fantastic time. Again, when the official announcement is made about when the show here will be, I'll pass the word on to everyone as soon as possible, and I'll have a much better idea of what my plans are going to be.
What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Sound-Off" by Slaughterhouse.. "Lyrical Murderers" by Slaughterhouse & K-Young.. "Not Tonight" by Slaughterhouse.. "Salute" by Slaughterhouse & Pharoahe Monch.. "Pray (It's A Shame)" by Slaughterhouse.. "Cut You Loose" by Slaughterhouse.. "Rain Drops" by Slaughterhouse & Novel.. "Killaz" by Slaughterhouse, Melanie Rutherford, & C Brown.. "Microphone" by Slaughterhouse.. "The One" by Slaughterhouse & The New Royales.. "Picture On The Wall" by The Natural-ites.. "Night Nurse" by Gregory Isaacs.. "Private Beach Party" by Gregory Isaacs.. "Just A Passing Glance" by Don Carlos.. "Forever Be Mine" by Bitty McLean.. "I'll Be In The Sky" by B.o.B. .. "Hello World" by Bobby Creekwater.. "Just One Night" by Ekolu.. "21 Guns" by Green Day.. "Sulfur" by Slipknot.. "Go On Girl" by Ne-Yo.. "If It Isn't Love" by New Edition.. "One More Day" by New Edition.. "Rock Witcha" by Bobby Brown.. "Every Little Step" by Bobby Brown.. "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden.. "Triple Trouble" by Beastie Boys.. "An Open Letter To NYC" by Beastie Boys.. "If You Don't Know, Now You Know" by Busta Rhymes & Big Tigger.. "Be Mine" by Vaihi.. "Cupid" by 112.. "Only You" by 112 & Notorious BIG.. "Heaven" by Nu Flavor.. "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" by Az Yet.. "Wherever You Go" by Voices Of Theory.. "Say It" by Voices Of Theory.. "My Love" by Justin Timberlake & T.I. .. "Culo" by Pitbull.. "Red Nose" by Tech N9ne.. "Hey There Delilah" by Ju'not Joyner
Hello again. Hustle here. This concludes another wonderful edition of HIPRN. Well, perhaps this edition wasn't so wonderful, as it was a few thousand words shorter than I would've liked it to be. However, I'm currently going through some serious back pain, which makes sitting down for more than several minutes at a time is a tremendous chore. I'll probably need to get things looked at by a doctor if this doesn't go away in the next couple of days, but a column needed to be posted, so damnit, that's exactly what happened. Thank you for riding with me for another column, even one as short as this one was. Be on the look out very soon for something to Believe in, ladies and gentlemen. The countdown has begun, so keep your peepers peepin for that. Something else to keep your peepers peepin for is my next column, which should be about surprises. Hopefully I can get that one out in less than 21 days. Until then, it's time for me to step like a member of Omega Psi Phi, nah'mean? From the potential host city of the next big LoP shindig, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa.
”I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meetin quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda..”
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