Posted in: Hustle Is Posting Right Now Hustle Is Posting Right Now: Volume 49 ("Thankful" Edition)
By Hustle
Jun 9, 2009 - 1:33:44 PM
Orlando could use some of Ro's Magic..
"City fit inna mi grip, and me a squeeze it til it small.. every itty little bitty drip til none nuh left at all.."
Jr Gong himself, Damian Marley, delivers this week's intro line. The "city" is the LoP column-writing world, and I have it in the palm of my hand. I squeeze life for whatever I can get out of it, and this shit is no different. There will be nothing left when I'm done with this, folks. Welcome back, one mo gen, to another edition of the only wrestling column read by The Most Interesting Man In The World.. Hustle Is Posting Right Now. I'm sitting at the keyboard, typing all of this out, so that must make me the man that has more swag than a million gift baskets.. ya boy, Hustle, back in the building, reporting for duty. How is everyone out there is ReaderLand this week? I'm doing great, thanks for asking. What would make me feel even better, though, is this column getting underway, so, uh, I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!
Dear You,
First and foremost, you know that this is going to be difficult for me to do, because I've never been one that has been very open with sharing my feelings. Because of that, I haven't always been able to tell you just how much I appreciate you and everything that you do for me, sometimes without even realizing that you're doing anything. I do apologize for not making you feel as loved and as cherished as you deserve to be, but allow me to take this time to try and change that.
Behind every great man stands a great woman. That's a phrase that I've heard ever since I was a little kid, and I don't think I ever fully understood what it meant until you came into my life. Now I couldn't agree with the phrase any more than I do. I've done a lot in my life, for the last several years, none of it would have been attainable without you. You've been the calming influence that I've needed in my life. You've been the rock of strength that I could depend on, even in my toughest times. I've had more than a few bumps in the road, and there were times that I wanted to give up, but you kept me going, and have been what every man needs in his life.
With what I do, I'm on the road a lot. I mean, a lot. I know you don't get to see me anywhere near as often as you'd like, but believe me, the feeling is more than mutual. Nothing is forcing you to stick around and deal with me, but whenever I look.. there you are. Words couldn't express just how much I appreciate that. I bounce from town-to-town, and every hotel room I stay in starts to look alike, but through everything, I know that you're only a phone call away. A lot of these guys don't have someone like you, and it shows. They're out, getting into trouble with this and that, with nobody to look forward to seeing once they return home. They live such an empty life, and I feel bad for them. I can't wait until I can go home and see your face again. It's what gets me through those lonely nights.
There have been times when I've become weak, though. In my weakest hours, I've put you through unbelievable amounts of stress, and I've made the occasional decision that was terribly poor in judgement. Every man has needs, and sometimes the quest to have those needs met can cloud his decision making. You've done nothing but show me exactly why you should be my #1 choice for the rest of my life, and I wish I could say that I've always treated you as such, but I haven't. I'm sorry. I really can't apologize enough for the times that I've hurt you and put you through the bullshit that I've come to be known for. Any other woman would've had enough, and would've packed her bags and left, but you didn't. Maybe that means you're every bit as crazy as I am, in which case we'd better make sure we stick together.
In my years, I've seen wrestlers in relationships come and go. Some have girlfriends, while others are married. All too many times, however, those relationships fail, and fail miserably. I don't want what we have to become just another casualty of the wrestling business. I always want our communication to improve. I want our patience to get better. I want to share my hopes and dreams with you, and I want you to be there by my side as they all come true. I love you for loving me. You needed to hear that from me. Please don't forget that. I'll do my best to keep reminding you as we grow older. Thank you for everything that you've done for me, everything you do for me, and everything you will do for me.
Love,
Me
Mini Writer's Note: Guys, from your good pal, Hus.. let that special woman in your life know just how much she means to you. Don't take it for granted that she knows, and even if she does know, she won't hate it if you told her again. Was this a weak column topic? Perhaps. However, look at it as another Public Service Announcement, just like my column about swagger was. Hustle.. changing lives, one person at a time.
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Alright, it's been a while since I've had two main topics in a single column, but I just couldn't help it this week. For one, what I just wrote probably isn't enough "wrestling" for some people, so this will take care of that. Also, this was something that I couldn't hold back for another seven days. I apologize if this section gets a little hectic and starts veering all over the place, but it's time to rant, and I'm just "freestyle" typing, going as the thoughts come to me.
Raw used to be the clear-cut king of pro wrestling on television. It had the biggest stars, the comfortable day/hour timeslot, and had the most attention paid to it by the writers and bookers. Since the April 13th WWE Draft, though, things have gone downhill for Raw. My frustration with the show may have reached its peak this week, however. Nothing that is happening on Raw makes any sense to me. Let's see..
- For one, the lack of time given to the talented midcarders is ridiculous. Kofi Kingston, MVP, William Regal, etc all deserve much better than they're getting. For Kofi VS Regal to last the same amount of time as the previous night's Hog Pen Match is a crime, and someone should be jailed for it. I'm not saying they should all be getting 20 minutes per match (although, in a perfect world..), but it just doesn't make sense to have so many people appearing for such a short amount of time.
- Why.. in.. the.. red.. fuck.. is the John Cena VS Big Show program still going on? It reached its expiration date a few weeks ago, and throwing The Miz into the mix certainly isn't going to freshen it up that much. As the #1 Cena Mark, it pains me to say this, but his matches with Show are downright brutal to watch. This is, in my opinion, Cena's worst feud in.. well.. maybe ever. His feud with The Great Khali was more entertaining than this. Him calling JBL "poopy" was damn near more entertaining than this. Show isn't going to have entertaining matches with anybody at this point. I'd like to see him as the next member of the Future Endeavors Club, if that's not too much to ask for.
- Michael Cole gets worse and worse with every passing week. I've ranted on him enough at this point, so I won't say too much here, but it's still a point that needed to be made.
- The segment with Vickie Guerrero and Edge didn't really make a whole lot of sense when you really stop and think about it. What Edge did/said was about as dastardly of an act as there is, but because of how much heel heat Vickie gets on a weekly basis, does that make him a face? It sure didn't make people feel sorry for her, as they continued booing her and laughing as she got her heart broken in the middle of the ring. If Edge is, indeed, headed for a face turn, having him commit such a heel-like act is a little strange, no? If Edge is going to remain a heel, shouldn't they have found a better way to prevent him from getting cheered?
- Now, on to the main point of this rant, and a lil somethin somethin that I should've posted several weeks back.. Fuck Triple H. I'm tired of trying to make up excuses for it, and trying to come up with other possible explanations for things that are taking place.. he's the main reason that Raw is unwatchable these days, and that both Smackdown and ECW are ahead of it in week-to-week quality. Television ratings plummeted leading into WrestleMania 25, and the featured Raw feud going into the show was his storyline with Randy Orton. Then, the actual WrestleMania match itself tanks, and dies a very slow death in the middle of the ring. You'd think that would make something click that maybe.. just maybe.. the feud wasn't working, but it continued on, anyway. Here we are, two months later, and it's still happening, with "Super H" looking incredibly dominant yet again. He apparently killed Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, as he hit them once and they weren't to be seen for the next 10-15 minutes that Raw was on the air. In that 10-15 minute span, he made Randy Orton look like a bitch for the umpteenth time, beating him silly again and again. Who, exactly, is this helping, other than Super H and his fucking ego? I've heard some people defend it by saying "the people want to see him destroy Orton for everything Orton has put him and his family through", and in response to that, I ask where those people were when the TV ratings were going down and when their matches were getting lackluster responses, even though Trips was very clearly destroying Orton time and time again? This entire storyline sure as fuck doesn't help Orton out at all, but digging even deeper than that, you can see from this week's Raw alone that it also hurts Team Priceless, the Brothers Colon, as well as Batista. With Rhodes & DiBiase, they come together and look like Keystone Cops when they go up against Super H. For Carlito & Primo, they just LOST to those same Keystone Cops not too much earlier in the show. For Batista, he was outsmarted on a few different occasions by The Legacy, and he was given a serious beat-down to start the show, which made the group look like they were worth a damn for once. Two hours later, and things were right back to square one.
Again, I ask.. who is this helping, other than Super H and his already over-inflated ego? It's not helping the fans, and it's not helping the other wrestlers on the roster. There aren't many people left that it could help. Every episode of Raw has 30-some minutes dedicated to this lame fucking storyline, if not more, with promos, matches, backstage segments, video packages, and mentions by Michael Cole and The King. I don't know about any of you, but if I eat something, and it gives me the runs within minutes, I'm not going to continue eating it. That's exactly what we're getting every Monday night for the last several months.. they feed us things that give us the runs, but instead of busting out the Powerade to help us out, they continue to shovel that garbage at us, thinking that will solve the problem.
Fuck Triple H.
Fuck the writers and the booking team for Raw.
Fuck Triple H again.
I may only be a week or two away from taking my very first voluntary break from watching Raw since the show debuted 16 years ago. It's like the end of an era. Fuck Triple H.
Hustle Highlight Of The Week: This week's HHotW is, without a doubt, Jeff Hardy VS Edge in their Ladder Match from Extreme Rules. Just a great, great match. I just knew, going in, that it would be, and I certainly wasn't let down. Both men probably took a few months off their careers during the match. I guess, just for shits and giggles, I'll avoid the post-match shenaniganery with CM Punk for this section, so it can have it's own part in the honorable mentions. Speaking of..
Honorable mentions go to Christian VS Tyson Kidd from ECW, Jay Lethal asking Chris Sabin why he speaks so slowly from Impact, Maria's referee outfit from Smackdown, Edge VS Rey Mysterio from Smackdown, CM Punk VS Umaga from Smackdown, John Morrison VS Shelton Benjamin from Smackdown, Chris Jericho VS Rey Mysterio from Extreme Rules, CM Punk cashing in his Money In The Bank title shot to beat Jeff Hardy at Extreme Rules, Mickie James in that dress from Raw
Writer's Note: Extreme Rules, what seems like WWE's 28th pay-per-view since WrestleMania 25, has come and gone, and while there were a couple of questionable booking decisions, I still enjoyed the show, as a whole. The only really bad part of the show (Hog Pen Match) was expected to be bad, and at least it was kept somewhat short.
- The United States Title match was a bit of a disappointment, in my opinion, but still not bad. It just had too much of a TNA vibe to it, where they tried too hard to fit 15 minutes worth of spots into a match that was only half that in length. I'm glad they didn't decide to pointlessly deliver another title change, though. Kofi has earned this reign, and he deserves a quality one that lasts until SummerSlam, at least. The Raw midcard scene is doing really well right now. Should be fun to watch his journey.
- The Intercontinental Title match was great, but there's no way you should've expected anything less. This won't be the end of the current storyline between Jericho and Mysterio, and I think we're set for some sort of a match where Rey has to put his mask on the line VS Jericho putting his newly won IC Title on the line. I'm on the fence as to whether or not I think they'll go through with officially unmasking Rey, but that's something I'll worry about more if and when the time draws near.
- I had high expectations for CM Punk VS Umaga, and while the match didn't quite meet those expectations, it was a perfectly acceptable match. I could've used a little more physicality, though, especially since THEY RELEASED UMAGA THE VERY NEXT DAY!!! Why he was let go when pieces of shit that are far less talented and have done far less in the company remain employed, I'll never understand. The fact that we aren't going to get a program between Umaga and The Undertaker makes me a very sad panda.
- Tommy Dreamer winning the ECW Title was definitely more of a memorable moment than a memorable match. Dreamer put on a helluva show, though, and the crowd was really behind him. I'm definitely intrigued here, though. Should be interesting to see what direction he goes in now, although this does leave the door open for the scenario I've been mentioning for months.. give Dreamer the title for a "feel good" moment, only to have him destroyed by a heel like Jack Swagger or Vladimir Kozlov, giving them crazy heel heat, and sending Tommy off into retirement. We'll see.
- The Hog Pen Match appears to be the end of this lame storyline, with Vickie Guerrero's departure from the company, and since Santina didn't make an appearance on Raw last night. It's not funny anymore, and it hit a creative wall several weeks ago. Seriously, the less said about this, the better. Fuck it, one more thing.. Santino is wasting my time on TV, while Umaga is now unemployed. Fucking hell.
- I just couldn't get into the Cage Match. I tried, and I tried, but I just couldn't do it. While I didn't think it would end so quickly, how the match turned out really didn't come as a surprise, and it shouldn't have to any of you, either. From the second the match was announced, we should've known that Orton was going to have his ass handed to him on a platter, and that's what we got. It would've been nice to have Orton put up more of a fight, though.
- The Submission Match was a bit of a snoozer. It wasn't bad or anything, but seriously, Big Show is so slow and plodding at this stage in his career. He has no business having this big of a match on PPV. Like I said earlier, he might not even have any business having matches at all at this stage of his career. He's just too big, and unless he's in the ring with one of the faster men on the roster, his matches will continue to get worse and worse.
- As I stated earlier, the Ladder Match was fantastic. A couple botches here and there prevented it from being a full-fledged five-star match, but it was definitely in the four-and-a-half range, easily, and in the Top 5 WWE Matches Of The Year to this point. I'll have to watch the match another time or two to see if I bump the rating up a bit more, though. Ladder Matches often have things that need more than one viewing for me to truly appreciate them, so we'll see what happens.
- CM Punk cashing in his title shot to become the new World Champion is a questionable decision, in my opinion. Unless the plan is for Punk to become a heel, what was the point of giving Jeff Hardy another title reign, only to have him drop the belt a minute or so later? Also, while kicking out of the initial GTS did wonders for making Hardy look like a warrior that just won't die, it sure didn't do much for Punk, did it? A lot of the mystique about his finisher is gone now, which is a shame.
Writer's Note Part Deux: The Los Angeles Lakers now have a 2-0 series lead in the NBA Finals over the Orlando Magic, with the next game taking place only a couple short hours from the time this column hits the presses. I'm happy, obviously, with how things have gone to this point. In Game 1, the Lakers showed that they could play the type of team defense that the Cleveland Cavaliers couldn't do, making things difficult for the Orlando perimeter players all game long, forcing them to have one of the worst shooting performances in NBA Finals history. They also forced Dwight Howard into foul trouble, and made him play away from the basket, not allowing him to have a single dunk all game long (hell, he only made a single shot for the entire game, and that was early in the first quarter). That's not even mentioning the fact that Kobe Bryant showed just how much better of a player he is than LeBron James. Before you King James marks e-mail me.. there's a big difference between being the most physically gifted player in the league and being the best player in the league. LeBron is the former, while Kobe is the latter.
Game 2 showed that the Lakers could still win, even though Kobe had a slow first half, and even though Orlando's shooters played much better than they did in the first game. Lamar Odom is playing his ass off thus far in the series, and as long as he continues to play like the second best player in the Finals, he can eat all the candy he wants.
My "Lakers in 7" prediction looks like it will be wrong. As of right now, there's no way the series makes it to the penultimate game, let alone all the way to the very end. I'm not calling a Lakers sweep, as I do think the Magic will be able to win a game in Orlando, with an outside chance of winning two, but I'd definitely be surprised, at this point, if the series goes beyond five. Kobe & Co. just seem to have all the answers, and have more players rising to the occasion. Good time to be a Lakers fan.
What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Nike Boots" by Wale.. "Fuck You Musick" by Killer Mike.. "Hands Up" by Freeway.. "Crack Rap" by Freeway.. "Murda Music" by Freeway.. "It's A Good Day" by Freeway.. "Finally Free" by Freeway.. "Keep Yo Hands Up" by Freeway & Sheek Louch.. "Khaki Suit" by Damian Marley, Bounty Killer, & Eek-A-Mouse.. "Shut Em Down" by Cory Gunz.. "Victory Hustle" by DJ Brilliant & Cassidy.. "In The Mood" by Sly Dog.. "Summer Of Love" by Sly Dog.. "I Wanna Know" by Foreign Exchange.. "We At It Again" by Timbaland, Magoo, & Sebastian.. "Joy" by Blackstreet.. "Up There" by Project Pat & Krayzie Bone.. "Death Of Auto-Tune" by Jay-Z.. "Scream On Em" by The Game.. "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger.. "The Way" by Fastball.. "Patience" by Sean Na'au'ao.. "Go On Girl" by Ne-Yo.. "Who The Fuck Is That" by Dolla & T-Pain (RIP Dolla).. "They Roll" by The Game & Nipsey Hu$$le.. "P.D.A." by John Legend.. "40oz" by D12.. "Thug Luv" by Bone Thugs N Harmony & 2Pac.. "Here By Me" by 3 Doors Down.. "Stop Being Greedy" by DMX.. "Sober" by Tool.. "18 & Life" by Skid Row.. "Faithfully" by Journey.. "Coconut Juice" by Tyga & Travis McCoy.. "Day N Nite" by Chepo.. "By My Side" by Stat Quo.. "Kill Us All" by Twista.. "Red Nose" by Tech N9ne.. "Luchini" by Camp Lo.. "Ride Around Shining" by Clipse.. "The Essence" by The Lox.. "Why" by Jadakiss & Anthony Hamilton.. "If You've Ever Been In Love" by Intrigue.. "Dance With Me" by Intrigue.. "There You Are" by Sam Salter.. "Confrontation" by Damian Marley.. "Tease Me" by Chaka Demus & Pliers.. "Put On" by Young Jeezy & Kanye West.. "How's It Goin Down" by DMX.. "Where The Hood At" by DMX
That about does it for yet another edition of HIPRN. Bag it, tag it, and push it in the streets. Thank you for riding with me yet again. Hope you enjoyed this week's column. Figured it was high time to try something a little different than your usual run-of-the-mill wrestling piece (Happy Early Birthday, by the way, to SKLH). My Man Card is tucked deeply in my wallet, so it's not going anywhere. Ha. In exactly one week.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. I'll return with another "Hustle Original". I love comparing wrestlers to things that have nothing to do with wrestling, and that's exactly what I'll be doing in HIPRNv.50 (oooooooh, milestone). Keep your peepers peepin for that. If the Pittsburgh Penguins don't get their shit together today, I'll have a certain emo asshat riding shotgun on a future column of mine, so let's all cross our fingers, alright? Until next week, though, it's time for me to bounce like chesticles in a cowgirl scene, nah'mean? From The Heart Of Polynesia, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa.
”I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meetin quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda..”
"The same reason y'all could love me is the same reason y'all condemn me.."
Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com
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