Posted in: Hustle Is Posting Right Now Hustle Is Posting Right Now: Volume 48 ("Girl Power" Edition)
By Hustle
Jun 3, 2009 - 2:31:10 AM
Might as well refer to Ro as Earvin, cause it's all Magic from here on out..
"Mr H-Double O-D.. Mr Get-You-When-You-Sleep.. Mr See-Me-In-The-Streets.. bitch, I'm a muh'fuckin beast.. I never sleep, I just don't eat, and if I hear of any beef, then I want a little piece.. just let me get a little piece.."
It's the unofficial anthem of this column, and now, it's part of this week's intro line, brought to you by Ace Hood. Usually, when you get a classic song over a classic beat, it should be untouched for the rest of the time, but with "All Bets On Ace", Ace Hood gets one of the exceptions to that rule. Biggie's "Victory" is just what I mentioned.. a classic song over a classic beat, but Ace steps up and rips the fucking beat to pieces. When I listen to the track, it just motivates me, point blank, period. With all that said.. welcome back, one and all, to yet another edition of the column that is recommended by four out of five dentists, as well as nine out of ten physicians.. Hustle Is Posting Right Now. As you'll see right here on my name tag, I'm the columnist that tells it like it is, even though you may not be able to handle the truth.. Hustle, back in the building once again. June is now upon us, and I don't know about all of you, but the weather here has become ridiculous. In the past two weeks or so, it's been humid beyond all definitions of the word. It's the kind of weather where you take a shower, and within a half-hour or so of stepping out of the shower, you're sweating and in need of another shower. Anyway, how the fuck is everyone in ReaderLand doing today? I hope your weekend went well, and that your week has gotten off on the right foot. This column now needs to get off on the right foot, so, uh, I think it's about that time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!
I may not discuss it all that frequently, but I am a fan of women's wrestling in this country (well, I guess I could just say North America as a whole). Sometimes it's for the actual in-ring competition, and sometimes it's for the hot women, but most of the time, I won't use the matches as a "piss break" like a lot of people say they do (even though they're full of shit when they say that). I'm not saying I want to see 60-minute Ironwoman matches between Kelly Kelly and Jillian Hall anytime soon, but for what they currently are, I am a fan of what the women are bringing to wrestling right now.
If you take a look at what all is going on in the world of women's wrestling in North America, you'd see that there are a few tiers that the different women fall into. Tier Numero Uno would be the best of the best, the women that can really go, and the ones that entertain me the most. Tier Numero Dos would be the women that are missing one or two things that prevent them from making the full jump to the first tier, but they're still well worth watching for one reason or another. Tier Numero Quattro would be the women that don't quite do all that much in the ring, but are a joy to look at, so they have to count for something. Tier Numero Cinco would be the women that I wish would find other ways to earn a living, preferably ones where I wouldn't have to see them anymore.
"But Hus, which women fall into which tiers?"
I knew you'd ask me that question, and I came prepared. Here's the breakdown:
Tier Numero Uno Awesome Kong - Even though she doesn't currently have a title, she still wears the crown as far as who is the best women's wrestler in all of North America, in my opinion. Every wrestling company/division needs a "monster" that can just run roughshod over the rest of the competitors, where it then builds someone up like crazy when they can finally overcome the odds and defeat the "monster". That's the role Kong has been playing since her TNA debut. With her training and her work in Japan, she's more than just a "big" wrestler. For someone her size to still have the speed and agility she has, as well as the ability to go in the ring, just isn't fair. When you're that big and that dominant, you don't need to speak, so save the arguments about her not cutting promos.
Gail Kim - As an overall package, she can probably stake claim as the most talented women's wrestler today. She can mat wrestle, do high-flying, and wrestle with a submission style, which is extremely rare in the women's game. When she made her WWE return, there were ridiculously high expectations for her, and while she hasn't yet reached those expectations, she's still put on several really good matches in her short time back. I think a Women's Title reign is coming in the next few months, though. It's not time to worry or to panic, folks. She's also Asian (surprise!), which automatically gives her a bunch of bonus points in my book.
Mickie James - She's the "go-to" female on Raw, in that she can be placed up against any of the Divas at any time, and it'll be a watchable match. That's an extremely valuable asset to have. Every single Raw Diva is being overshadowed by Santina at the moment, which is as big a crying shame as there is in wrestling today, but when the dust settles on all that garbage, Mickie will shine through once again. She's still got one of the thickest bodies in women's wrestling today, and I'll always be a fan of that. Well, up until she reaches the age of 60 or something. Then it's all.. eww.
Sara Del Rey - She's not as big as Kong is, but still has a tremendous size and strength advantage over just about any woman she steps into the ring with. Admittedly, I haven't been following her career in the last several months as well as I had in the two years before that, but with what I have been seeing, nothing has really changed with "Death Rey". Her Royal Butterfly is just a fun move to watch.
Victoria/Lisa Marie Varon - First and foremost, Widow's Peak is probably as cool a finishing move as there is in all of women's wrestling. Even without the really cool finisher, though, Victoria is still one of the best around. She's probably one of the stronger female wrestlers around, and she's one of the most agile, as well. The Knockouts Division was in dire need of a strong face challenger, and that's what Victoria immediately steps into the company as. Her strongest asset to the company is probably something that won't get a lot of mention, and that's the fact that she's a veteran influence on the largely young and raw division. Oh, and she's hot, too. Can't go wrong there.
Melina - Besides being flexible as all hell, as well as hot, she can wrestle. That works out quite well, no? I don't know why, but it feels like it's been months since we've seen her in action. Watching her wrestle Alicia Fox on Smackdown just isn't enough for me, although the upcoming match she'll have against Michelle McCool makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit. I have my fingers crossed that the right person comes out on top in that one (shut up, perverts).
Beth Phoenix - Although she's currently involved in a storyline that is a complete waste of time, and that makes her look really stupid, there's no denying what she brings to the table. She could probably beat up more than half the guys in the WWE locker room, and that's more a positive thing about her than a negative thing about them. The bright side about being in a storyline with Santino is that it has showed Beth's "softer" side. She's got pretty good comedic timing, and that's something we never would've seen otherwise. It's been long enough, though, and I'm hoping she can return to the badass Beth Phoenix that we all knew before she got involved with her "Little Cannoli".
Tier Numero Dos Maryse - More than any heel in women's wrestling today, she has the mannerisms and facial expressions down to a tee. I can't remember seeing a more natural-looking (you know what I mean, folks) heel in recent women's wrestling history. I do think she has a little ways to go in the ring before she can be counted with the elite women, but she's always improving, which is nice. If she can go from a five or a six in the ring to a seven or an eight in the ring, she has the potential to be the best heel in women's wrestling history. Yes, I totally just went there.
Angelina Love - I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't always an Angelina Love fan. It's not that I thought she was all that bad or anything, but I was more interested in Velvet Sky in all aspects. In the past couple of months, however, I've been warming up to Love (that sounds dirty). Like Maryse, she's got a great "bitch" character, but the difference between her and Maryse is that she's more of the "chickenshit" heel type that talks a big game, but then tries to do everything possible to avoid having to deal with whomever she's feuding with. It's good to have a heel like that every now and again, as they make it a lot more worthwhile for the viewer when they finally do get what's coming to them.
Natalya - She hasn't had the opportunity to wrestle anywhere near enough as I'd like, but she's still playing quite the important role on ECW, being the apparent mouthpiece for the Hart Dynasty stable. Unfortunately, due to a serious lack of competition on the ECW brand, I think that's really all she'll be for the foreseeable future. With big things being likely in the future of the stable, however, she still gets plenty of rub (shut up). Before the year is out, I'm sure we'll be seeing her make a move to Smackdown so that she can compete there from time to time, but for now, I'm happy with what I've received thus far.
Katie Lea - I'm not as big a fan of her looks as some people are, but she's not half-bad in the ring. Unfortunately, she won't get a whole lot of opportunities to wrestle, as there aren't many women on the ECW roster, as I just mentioned above. Unlike Natalya, who has a bit of a backup plan, there doesn't appear to be one for Katie Lea, and that may not bode well for her future with the company. Paul Burchill has been given a few opportunities to connect with fans, and it just hasn't worked, so I don't see him lasting too much longer. Once he's gone, she'd have to immediately move to either Raw or Smackdown, or she's a goner, as well.
Daffney - She didn't play a very good Sarah Palin impersonator, but she's back to the gimmick and the look that first brought her into the homes of millions of people across the globe, and it's a gimmick that really works for her. She plays the crazy chick just about perfectly. I'm somewhat intrigued as to where this storyline between her, Stevie Richards, Raven, and Abyss is headed, and just how big a role she'll play in it when it's all said and done. I'm hoping she doesn't get lost in the shuffle too much, and that she can still be involved with the Knockouts Division, and not spend too much time in worrying about Abyss.
O.D.B. - She was balancing dangerously between Tier Numero Dos and Tier Numero Quattro, but when all was said and done, I included her here, because I think she's being held back a bit by her gimmick, but that's really the only problem. I wouldn't put her at the top of the list of lookers or anything, but she's definitely not ugly. She's acceptable in the ring, and she brings an energy to her matches that most of the other Knockouts can't match. Again, I just think she has a gimmick that has a bit of a low ceiling on it, and that there isn't much advancement that can happen because of it, as evidenced by the current pointlessnesseseseseses with Cody Deaner. With a bit of a gimmick tweak, she'd be perfectly fine.
Tier Numero Quattro Layla - Point blank, there isn't a female wrestler alive today that has a better body than Layla. I just don't think it's up for debate. All those years of dancing have done her body good. Besides her being extremely beautiful, owning a very sexy accent, and having one of the best bodies in the history of ever, there isn't a whole lot to get excited about, though. I'm just happy to see her on my TV just for the sake of seeing her on my TV.
Kelly Kelly - She's just fun to look at, without a doubt. She has one of those smiles that could light up a room. This isn't a love sonnet, though, so I'll say that, while she's improving, she still isn't all that great in the ring. Her improvement has been quite remarkable, but she went from terrible to watchable, which is a far cry from good to great. Unlike others in her situation who have improved for a while, only to hit a wall and start to get worse, I think she can make it happen for herself. She's only 22 years old, so she has plenty of time to continue working on everything.
Velvet Sky - I'm not usually a fan of blondes. Nothing against them, but I'm more into brunettes. Velvet Sky, almost singlehandedly, makes me question that preference. She's absolutely amazing, and Gregory Helms is one of the luckiest men on the entire planet for having her as his girlfriend. Have you folks watched her entrance? My goodness, it's.. it's.. fuck it, I'm going to go watch it again.
Bella Twins - There's no real reason to include Brie and Nikki on their own here. Their sole purpose on Raw these days is apparently to be arm candy, and nothing else. I don't complain, because seeing them on my TV is a good time, but there's gotta be more for them to do than to just appear backstage talking to various people. They might as well become the new backstage interviewers at this point.
Rosa Mendes - I first brought her to the attention of most of the LoP world, and I'm glad to see her put into a storyline that has been given so much TV time since her debut, but it's hard to really rank her on a higher tier when she doesn't really do much other than stand next to Beth Phoenix. She's still incredibly hot, though, and amazes me every single week that she is able to squeeze into the tightest pants this side of Yosemite Sam.
Eve - Nice look, nice body.. not a lot of opportunity yet to show her ability in the ring. In the few matches that we have seen her in, though, I don't recall anything ever really standing out, whether it be good or bad. Feuding with Layla, as she has been for the past few weeks, probably isn't the right thing for her growth as a wrestler, however, but it sure has been fun to watch them roll around with each other. *ahem* Excuse me. I need a few moments to.. gather myself.
Candice Michelle - From all accounts, she's one of the nicest, sweetest people you'll ever want to meet in your life, and that vibe is easy to get from her interviews and things of that nature. Unfortunately, the improvement she was making in the ring a while back stalled out completely, and then she became somewhat injury prone, which further stunted development. I do think that she'll be able to make a successful return to the ring, but whether or not she can revert back to her improving ways remains to be seen.
Alicia Fox - I'll admit, I liked her a lot better when she was dancing alongside DJ Gabriel, but I still think she's quite the attractive woman. My only concern is that the Black Hole Of Suck, Michelle McCool, is wearing on her, and she is getting worse and worse looking as the weeks go by. Seriously.. how the fuck does that even happen? Aren't good looking women that hang out with ugly women supposed to look better in comparison? Isn't that how it works?
Maria - She's moving back towards her original ditzy character, which is all good by me. She's really cute when she's in that role, but she really doesn't serve much purpose other than that. I'd rather see her as the backstage interviewer again, instead of as a full-time wrestler, but maybe that's just me. She's more entertaining than Josh Matthews is, that's for sure.
Lauren - I know one thing, I'd much rather see her doing the backstage interviews than Jeremy Borash, and I'm about 94.2% sure that she looks better in a bikini than Borash does, as well. Putting her in a storyline with Abyss is pretty pointless unless she turns out to be some sort of decent in-ring competitor, but then again, this is TNA we're talking about here, and they don't do many things that really have a point to them. I just think Lauren, and the entire storyline, is making Abyss look even worse than he already is. He's so far gone from being a "monster" now, it's laughable.
Tier Numero Cinco Michelle McCool - Where, oh, where do I start with this one? Let's be perfectly honest here.. if she didn't have The Undertaker's dick in her mouth on a regular basis, we wouldn't even be discussing her here. She's absolutely terrible, and the fans don't give a shit about her. She wasn't over as a face, and is even less over as a heel. She keeps getting pushed, though, and appears to be on the verge of a Women's Title reign. Everyone knew The Undertaker had a lot of backstage power, but damn.. that much power? His character may be more fact than fiction, after all. Seriously, this bitch is worthless.
Madison Rayne - Since her TNA debut, I don't think she's added a single positive thing to the company, other than being on the receiving end of multiple Awesome Kong ass-kickings. Does this make her "enhancement talent"? Hmm.. that term has a different meaning when it comes to women, doesn't it? Putting her with The Beautiful People was a huge mistake, in my opinion, as she ups the Ugly Level big-time whenever she's around, and both Angelina Love and Velvet Sky don't need her bringing them down like that.
Jillian Hall - For fans of large breasts, she's a winner. For everyone else, it's a loss. I don't find her to be all that good looking, and her singing is on levels previously only reached by Lady GaGa, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. On a bit of a positive note, she doesn't have that ricecake on the side of her face anymore, so that's reason to celebrate, I suppose.
Taylor Wilde - She's kinda cute, I guess. In a way. Other than that, what is there to be excited about? She's just so bland and boring, and it drives me insane to have to watch her wrestle. TNA tried, and failed miserably, to make her the face of the Knockouts Division. Only they would be dumb enough to try something like that with someone who clearly has absolutely no business having that much responsibility. Now, she's just kinda.. there. Not even the markiest of TNA marks could tell you whether or not she appeared on certain episodes of Impact. Kinda funny, actually.
Sojourner Bolt - It feels like she's had 18 different shots at the TNA Knockouts Title now, and I don't remember her really earning any of them. Is she sleeping with Jeff Jarrett? There's got to be a reason why she keeps getting mini-pushed, as it sure isn't because the fans are demanding it. It's one of wrestling's greatest mysteries, if you ask me.
Christy Hemme - She's had a few years of wrestling training under her belt. She's been trained by several legends in the wrestling business, including Finlay, Ricky Steamboat, Dean Malenko, and Arn Anderson. With all that, she still sucks in the ring. Is that even possible? Some of the absolute greatest wrestlers to ever step foot in a ring have been there from square one with her, trying to show her the way, and she's still as bad as she is. Another one of wrestling's greatest mysteries.
Raisha Saeed - She makes this tier, but not due to anything that is her fault. She's cute as all hell, and TNA thought it would be a genius idea to cover up her face almost completely. As Saeed, she isn't really serving much of a purpose right now, so it's time that the character be removed, and she can return as the character that she truly shines in.. Cheerleader Melissa. Once that happens, I'll happily move her up to Tier Numero Quattro, with an eye on Tier Numero Dos, but for now, this is where she will remain.
Rhaka Khan - TNA's version of Santina isn't a joy to watch at all, and never has been. There are absolutely no positive things I can say about this guy. Yuck.
Jenna Morasca - Has she done anything since being signed by TNA? Well, anything outside of argue during backstage segments and throw in a towel for Booker T at Sacrifice, that is. She's useless, and that's saying a lot when you talk about all the wastes of space that get on TV in TNA. This is merely TNA saying "Hey, she's a celebrity, so she'll be able to help our product", without stopping to wonder what exactly said "celebrity" can contribute. Seriously, TNA, stop bringing in the dumbest celebrities to "help" you out. It's just not working.
Sharmell - I shouldn't speak about royalty in such a negative manner, but Queen Sharmell's character is wearing thin, and it's time for her to go. Her spot on the payroll could be used to bring in someone that can actually wrestle and that can bring something to the table. She's basically stealing TNA's money at this point, but hey, if they have money to blow, good for them, I guess. The rest of us will suffer in the current economy with these trying times. Fuck you, TNA, you bastards.
Santina - Please, please, please, please, please.. please, for the love of Allah, let the Santina storyline be coming to an end either at Extreme Rules, or soon thereafter. The entire thing has done much more harm than good, and it's still going on. I realize that Vince McMahon has some sort of weird obsession with men dressed up as women (maybe he'll sign Rhaka Khan soon), but this is just ridiculous. It just isn't funny anymore, and it's still being driven into the ground on a weekly basis.
Personally, I think that women's wrestling in North America is at its all-time high, both in quality and in exposure. Just about every TV show and pay-per-view that airs has a women's match (and a lot of them have more than one match). Hell, TNA sees a regular jump in ratings when they have a Knockouts match going on, which says a lot about the Knockouts as well as the rest of the product that TNA delivers on a weekly basis.
Even though it's at an all-time high, I think it can only go up from here, as there are two feuds that I'm really looking forward to, but that we haven't had the chance to see yet. In TNA, I'm referring to Awesome Kong VS Victoria. In WWE, I'm referring to Melina VS Gail Kim. Both of those feuds, in their own way, would be stellar. I have no doubts that both will take place sooner than later, and when they do, life will be spectacular.
You know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder what it would take for Trish Stratus to make a return to TitanLand on even a semi-regular basis. Not only does she have unfinished business with Beth Phoenix to take care of, but there's a natural feud with Maryse awaiting her on Raw, as well as a possible rekindling of the epic feud she had with Mickie James. Can we find a way to make this happen? If I have to write Vince McMahon myself and offer him what's currently in my wallet ($93) to make Trish an offer, I will. If I then have to go to the ATM and make a withdrawal to offer Trish so that she'll accept said offer from Vince, I will.
Hustle Highlight Of The Week: John Morrison VS Umaga from Smackdown gets the vote for HHotW here. It was a really good showcase of Umaga's improving offense, in my opinion. His toss-Morrison-into-the-air-then-catch-him-on-his-shoulders-then-perform-the-Samoan-Drop-on-him move was absolutely awesome, as it usually is when he performs the move. Glad to see that Umaga is being booked properly. He needs to be on an eventual collision course with The Undertaker, damnit! That's a different story for a different column, though.
Honorable mentions are Evan Bourne VS Mark Henry from last week's episode of ECW, the news that Elijah Burke is getting a tryout with TNA, the news that Nigel McGuinness is returning to action in RoH next month (although I'm not sure how wise it is to come back before he's fully healed), Victoria's debut on Impact, AJ Styles VS Daniels from Impact, Chris Jericho's "Rey fan" attack on Rey Mysterio from Smackdown, Great Khali's hip-hop dancing from Smackdown, Cryme Tyme VS Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas from Smackdown, MVP VS Kofi Kingston from Raw, getting to laugh at Batista for looking like an idiot and not climbing the cage to save Ric Flair from Randy Orton's attack on Raw, and the news that Kimbo Slice will be getting an opportunity to fight for UFC by being on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter.
Writer's Note: Is there a single television event all year that is more unintentionally funny than when the Spelling Bee is aired? It was hilarious, painful, awkward, thrilling, exhausting, and rewarding, all rolled into a nice little package for our enjoyment. I've been watching the Spelling Bee on TV for years, and it never fails to entertain me. It's been a really long time since I was the age of the kids in those Spelling Bees, but I don't remember many kids in my school being like them. By that, I mean that my school had its fair share of.. well.. nerdy kids, but nothing like the levels of nerdery that the Spelling Bee provides. There's no real reason for me to share any of this with you, but it's my column, and that's how I roll.
Writer's Note Part Deux: Hmm.. is there a HIPRN 25 jinx starting up? I place Mr Kennedy, in a big shock, in the #1 spot in last week's HIPRN 25 rankings, and a few days later, Kennedy is now unemployed after getting his release and joining the Future Endeavours Club. That pisses me off, actually. Not that Kennedy is released, but that I didn't place Matt Hardy in the #1 spot. I'd rather see Kennedy wrestle in every match of every show than see Matt wrestle once. I'd rather see Kennedy wrestle in every match of every show, with Michael Cole being the sole commentator for every match, than to see Matt wrestle once. Alright, maybe my Matt hatred isn't that strong, but you get the point. Either way, it should be fun to see who gets the top spot in the HIPE 25, whenever the hell I bring that back.
Writer's Note Part Ekolu: Congratulations to my Los Angeles Lakers for beating the Denver Nuggets and winning the NBA's Western Conference. I said they'd win the series, and they did. I said they'd win it in six games, and they did. I said Carmelo Anthony would get shut down, and he did. I said the Lakers "big men" would dominate, and they did. In their losses to Houston and Denver over the last two rounds, they were completely dominated from the opening tipoff. When the Lakers show up to play, they win. It's been as simple as that.
Congratulations also go out to the Orlando Magic for beating the Cleveland Cavaliers and therefore winning the NBA's Eastern Conference. Hmm.. I seem to recall a lot of people e-mailing me and laughing at me when I made my prediction that Orlando would win the series. I said the Cavs wouldn't have an answer for Dwight Howard and that Orlando's "shooters" would carry them to a victory, and what happened? Dwight Howard destroyed Cleveland, and Orlando set an NBA record for most three-point shots made in a six-game series. I don't understand why people would even bother to doubt anything I say at this point. I'm awesome.
As for the NBA Finals, I'm really excited to see how it all plays out. I've told everyone that would listen that a matchup against Orlando scares the hell out of me as a Lakers fan. If we got a Lakers/Cavs Finals, I'd pick the Lakers to win in five games, but the Magic are a different type of beast altogether. If you're going to break the series down, you'll have to break it down position by position, so that's what I'll do..
Dwight Howard VS Andrew Bynum - This matchup is going to be a blast to watch, without a doubt. It features two of the best young big men in the NBA, and two men that will dominate the league for years to come. However, it's still a bit one-sided here, as Howard is playing like a man possessed, and Bynum is still trying to figure out what his ceiling as a player is. I don't think he puts up the numbers in this series like he did against Cleveland, but the advantage is definitely to Howard here.
Hedo Turkoglu VS Trevor Ariza - Turkoglu may be the better of the two on the offensive side of the ball, but Ariza is the better defender, hands down. I think Ariza will frustrate the hell out of Hedo for the entire series, although he'll still find ways to get his shots off. If you're going by who is playing better right now, it would go to Ariza in a landslide, as Hedo isn't coming off of his greatest series ever. I think he bounces back a bit in the Finals, but I have no choice but to give the edge to Ariza for the time being.
Rashard Lewis VS Pau Gasol - Rashard Lewis won't be able to stop Gasol defensively. Let me just get that out of the way right here and now. Gasol will be able to put up big numbers on the offensive side of the ball, and he'll pull down a few offensive rebounds per game, as well. Lewis' perimeter game should be able to drag Gasol out of the post a little bit, but the Lakers will still have the better overall post play roaming the paint. Because of that, you have to give the advantage to Gasol.
Rafer Alston VS Derek Fisher - I love Derek Fisher. I really do. I appreciate everything he's done as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers team. He's still a great leader, and is capable of hitting some big shots in big situations. However, Rafer Alston is playing out of his mind right now, and it's impossible to ignore that. Skip To My Lou is taking the ball to the basket with relative ease, and when he isn't doing that, he's raining daggers from long range. I've been a fan of his since the and1 days, so I'm happy to see him doing well right now. Fish is going to need some help. The edge goes to Alston.
Courtney Lee VS Kobe Bryant - Clearly, Kobe is the better player in this matchup, but that didn't stop Lee from standing up to LeBron James in the Conference Finals, so I doubt it will here, either. He doesn't seem to have much fear, which counts for a lot in today's NBA. Guarding Kobe will be more of a team effort, though, in my opinion, with Lee, Turkoglu, Mickael Pietrus, and Alston all taking turns trying to stop him. It won't matter a whole lot in the long run, as Kobe should be able to crack 30 points-per-game just as easy as LeBron did against Orlando. Switching it up a bit, if Kobe is the one guarding Lee, it's going to be a long series for the rookie. Advantage Bryant.
Orlando Bench VS Los Angeles Bench - Mickael Pietrus was basically the only Orlando bench player that did anything against Cleveland. Yes, Orlando's starters put in extra work, so bench production wasn't exactly neccessary, but the fact remains that the team needs more than just Pietrus. Los Angeles has Lamar Odom, Shannon Brown, Jordan Farmar, Sasha Vujacic, and Luke Walton that all step in on a regular basis and contribute, whether the Lakers' starters are doing well or not. The huge advantage goes to Los Angeles.
Stan Van Gundy VS Phil Jackson - Really, this one isn't even close. Yes, SVG is looking like a million bucks after the Cleveland series, but he isn't even the best coach in his family, let alone in the entire league. There are times when SVG doesn't even appear to be coaching, and instead is just standing back as his team does what they do best. That's actually a pretty decent strategy on his part, because when he sticks his nose into things, not only do they lose, but he fucks up and pisses off his best player in the process. My favorite thing is when they mic up all the coaches during TV time outs. Other coaches are drawing up plays, going over strategy, and handing out assignments. SVG, on the other hand, is telling his team to go out and play with more energy. Thanks, Tony Little. The advantage goes to Jackson.
If you're counting, that's a five to two edge for the Lakers there. I wish it were that easy, though. I wish I could confidently say that the Lakers will roll to an NBA Championship, but it just isn't working that way. Do I think they'll win the series? Yes, I do, but like I said, the matchup scares the hell out of me. If the Orlando perimeter players can find ways to get shots off, there's a really good chance they'll be making those shots. Ask Cleveland about that. The Lakers can't afford to get into a shootout like that. They just don't have the amount of hot shooters that the Magic have, so it's extremely important that they dictate the pace and play to the tempo that they want, not what Orlando wants. Things could be a little different if Jameer Nelson returns from injury to play for Orlando, but even if he does, I think he's rushing things a bit, and won't be anywhere near as effective as he could/should be. My prediction?
Lakers in seven. Originally, I had the series ending in six games, but the format of home games changed my opinion. The first two games will take place in Los Angeles, with the next three in Orlando, followed by the final two in Los Angeles again. I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever to see the home team win every game of the series. No matter what happens, I'm excited, and I'm hoping for a great series. Should be fun. To my big homie, Mac.. it's my team VS your team.. gonna be fun going back and forth with you for the next two weeks or so.
What Hustle Is Listening To Right Now: "Gutta" by Ace Hood & Trick Daddy.. "Final Warning" by Ace Hood, Bun B, Brisco, Shawty Lo, Lil Scrappy, Blood Raw, Bali, & Rock City.. "Get Em" by Ace Hood.. "Face Good" by Ace Hood & Flo Rida.. "I Don't See Y'all" by Ace Hood & Brisco.. "Mass Appeal" by GangStarr.. "Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt" by Yellowman.. "Breathe" by The Prodigy.. "Night Nurse" by Gregory Isaacs.. "Last Chance" by Ginuwine.. "Fly" by Sugar Ray & Super Cat.. "The Impression That I Get" by Mighty Mighty Bosstones.. "Push" by Matchbox 20.. "Unwell" by Matchbox 20.. "Superman" by Goldfinger.. "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish.. "Buggin Out 09" by Consequence & Kid Cudi.. "Khaki Suit" by Damian Marley, Bounty Killer, & Eek-A-Mouse.. "Waiting In Vain" by Bob Marley.. "Is This Love" by Bob Marley.. "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley.. "Redemption Song" by Bob Marley.. "Love Jones" by Refugee Camp All-Stars.. "This Is How We Do" by The Game & 50 Cent.. "Dreams" by The Game.. "Put You On The Game" by The Game.. "The Freshman" by Verve Pipe.. "A-Yo" by Method Man, Redman, & Saukrates.. "Brackish" by Kittie.. "You're The Only One" by Eric Benet.. "I Want A Love Like That" by Tony Thompson.. "When I'm With You" by Tony Terry.. "You Are My Lady" by Freddie Jackson.. "My, My, My" by Johnny Gill.. "Bam Bam" by Sister Nancy.. "3am (Travis Barker remix)" by Eminem.. "What It Do" by Paul Wall, 50/50 Twin, & Chamillionaire.. "Who Am I To Say" by Ya Boy & Hope.. "I Got Money" by Ya Boy.. "Rock On" by Ya Boy.. "I Am Legend" by Ya Boy & Juice.. "Boarding Pass (Remix)" by Ya Boy, Wiz Khalifa, & Mistah FAB.. "Nothing To Hide" by Rebel Souljahz.. "Best I Ever Had" by Drake & Lil Wayne.. "All My Life (Remix)" by Jay Rock, Lil Wayne, The Game, Ya Boy, Busta Rhymes, Gorilla Zoe, & Glasses Malone.. "I Can't Make It Home" by Devin The Dude & LC.. "Here I Am" by Leona Lewis.. "I Don't Care" by Apocalyptica.. "Brazilian Crying Season" by Charles Hamilton.. "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed
That just about does it for yet another edition of HIPRN. As usual, I want to thank each and every one of you for riding with me yet again. In seven days.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page.. I'll be back with another "Hustle Original". You'll just have to keep your peepers peepin for that. Depending on the way the rest of the NHL Finals go (come on, Pittsburgh~!), I may have a collabo column coming down the pike in a few weeks. We'll have to wait and see on that one, though. The announce date for an official return to The HIPE is coming soon, as well. Big things poppin in the near future, folks. Until then, however, it's time for me to split like Jon & Kate, nah'mean? From The Heart Of Polynesia, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa.
”I'm exceedin expectations, you barely meetin quota.. I give it to em straight, you cut it with baking soda..”
"The same reason y'all could love me is the same reason y'all condemn me.."
Hustle HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com
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