Posted in: The Classic Paper Review The Current Paper Review - Vol IV - SummerSlam 2009 + Randy Orton
By Mazza
Aug 25, 2009 - 12:08:16 PM
Romeo Done!
Vol IV – SummerSlam 2009
Welcome one and all to the SummerSlam edition of The Current Paper Review, I am your host, Mazza. I have not been watching much wrestling in the build up to the hottest event of the summer so I am less than enthusiastic going into this event. For an event that is supposedly viewed as second to only WrestleMania, a lot of the matches seem pretty predictable. The WWE have been big fans of throwing the IWC of the scent in 2009 though, so I am hopeful that they will continue with this trend in Los Angeles. As a big DX fan, I have been looking forward to the return of Shawn Michaels although I do expect nothing more than a squash in the match against the tag team formerly known as Priceless. Here is hoping the WWE manage to put something really good together to get me a little more enthused in the current product.
ODE TO THE MENU
The Event: SummerSlam 2009
The Date: 23 August 2009
The Place: The Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Before we get underway with the review, here is a quick reminder of DaveyBoy’s review key.
<50: Ask for a refund for not only your money, but also your time. [F] (Armageddon '04)
50-54: Mediocre & disappointing. [D] (EG: No Way Out '07)
55-59: Average. [C] (EG: Unforgiven ‘08)
60-64: Worth A Watch. [C+] (EG: The Bash ‘09)
65-69: Good event that was worth the money. [B] (EG: Night of Champions '09)
70-74: Very good. [B+] (EG: No Way Out '09)
75-79: Make sure you add this ppv to your video or dvd collection. [A] (EG: Royal Rumble '09)
80+: Make sure that the video or DVD is locked in a safe & cannot be erased. Memorable. [A+]
Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler in 12:28 to retain the Intercontinental Championship
These guys put on a solid but not spectacular match a month ago at Night of Champions and hopefully they would step up a gear at the second biggest PPV of the year. We start out with pretty much the blueprint for their last match with Ziggler in control and flurries of Mysterio offence. The ultimate babyface, Rey Rey is in his home state but surprisingly the crowd seem split 50-50 for the early going as we get some rather lengthy rest holds from Dolph. The two counts for Ziggler come think and fast including one after a rather good looking Fameasser. Rey then turns the tide and gets a couple of close calls of his own before hitting the 619 but missing the follow-up splash. The crowd are well and truly pro-Ziggler by this point and Dolph sets up Mysterio for a gut buster from the top rope. Rey reverses this however into a hurricanrana and picks up the victory. This was nothing too different from their encounter a month ago which is a bit lazy I think on both men’s parts. That said, it was still a decent opener. CPR Rating: 7
MVP defeated Jack Swagger in 6:22
Jack Swagger and MVP surprisingly get some promo time before the match and they do a good job considering Swagger’s lisp was thrown into the mix. I miss the bouncy castle that MVP used to come out from but at least he is getting a PPV match. The pace is decent from the get-go with Swagger playing the cowardly heel and generating decent heat. The All American American controls the early going and once again we get a couple of early rest holds. The quick finish comes when MVP lands the Playmaker after getting his knees up whilst Swagger attempted a splash from the top rope. This match really wasn’t given any time at all and seeing as MVP spent a good percentage of it in rest holds, it has to be seen as a bit of a waste. When the action was moving it looked promising and although there is no doubting Swagger’s potential, it is clear to me that there was one man in this match with the charisma and the ability in the ring and on the mic to infiltrate the main event scene. If only he would get a decent finisher. CPR Rating: 6
Chris Jericho and The Big Show defeated Cryme Tyme in 9:46 to retain the Unified Tag Team Championship
I am glad that they have sorted out that mess of an entrance theme for JeriShow a bit although it is still not the greatest. Jericho cuts a promo on celebrities and surprise surprise, the words parasite and hypocrite were used. Jericho and JTG start out and we see some nice back and forth action before The Big Show tags in. Show controls the pace before JTG can get the tag to Shad who gets the better of both champs but is blindsided with a spear from Show. JeriShow dictate the pace from here as they cut Shad off from his partner. After a powerbomb from his team mate, JTG eventually gets the hot tag and the action breaks down. He gets a two count following a roll-up on Jericho but the experience of Y2J soon sees him lock in the Walls of Jericho. JTG holds on and eventually gets to the ropes but as the ref breaks the hold, The Big Show hits a big punch from the outside allowing Jericho to pick up the pin fall. One big thing that was noticeable here was Jericho’s efforts to put over JTG. Cryme Tyme have never had much love from WWE management and Jericho helped them make the most of their time in the spotlight. This was a pretty good tag team match up and I have often said that Cryme Tyme bring a real old school tag team mentality to the division which is always nice. This was not enough to bring back the tag team glory days of old but a decent match. CPR Rating: 7.5
CM Punk has an interview where he impresses me even more. He seems to be the only heel on the roster who is able to deliver a fresh and interesting promo at this point of time.
Kane defeated The Great Khali in 5:58
I am not quite sure how this made it onto PPV but my only hope is that it will be short. This match seemed to take the Diva’s place as the toilet break match as the crowd are dead. Khali takes the early advantage but it is soon Kane’s speed that puts him in control before he walks into a clothesline. The pace is mega slow and the action extra sloppy as even Khali’s kick outs looking horrible. The Big Red Machine soon locks in a sleeper hold but the Punjabi Playboy powers out. Khali goes for the vice grip but Kane gets to the ropes and brings Khali’s brother (I don’t know where that revelation came from either) Runjin Singh into the ring. He throws him at Khali and the distraction allows him to hit a dropkick to the knee and a DDT for the win. Although the ending saved this from being a total disaster, what went on beforehand cannot be forgiven or forgotten. Always nice to see Kane pick up a victory though. CPR Rating: 3.5
Triple H and Shawn Michaels defeated Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase in 20:02
Shawn and Hunter come to the ring riding on a tank in a very cool military entrance. Yeah, the DX shtick is old but whenever it comes back, I cannot help but mark out like a little kid. Hunter and DiBiase start things out and The Game controls things before Ted manages to tag Cody in. After a cheap shot to Michaels, the fans call for HBK and he obliges. Rhodes briefly gets the upper hand but The Show Stopper soon makes himself back at home in the squared circle. The Legacy members however take control of Michaels and the match settles down with the youngsters cutting HBK off from The Game. Michaels eventually makes the tag and the action breaks down moments later with all four men in the ring. Hunter backdrops Shawn into Rhodes who is on the outside but The Game gets caught with a kick to the groin from behind by DiBiase. Order is restored and Legacy are once more in control of the action but this time working over Triple H. Legacy get a number of close falls and Hunter gets a number of close tags as they work the crowd in anticipation of the hot tag and when it eventually comes, Shawn unleashes a flurry of offence on Cody Rhodes. DiBiase interferes once more to take out Shawn but is thrown into the crowd by Hunter.
Cody misses a big elbow from the top rope before HBK also misses his signature move. Rhodes looks to make the tag but DiBiase is still on the outside. With Rhodes distracted, Michaels manages to synch in the Figure Four Leg Lock but Ted soon makes his way back to break it up. The action breaks down once more and Cody hits Shawn with the Cross-Rhodes but this time it is Hunter who breaks up the cover but this time it is Hunter who breaks up the count. With the ref distracted, Triple H hits a Pedigree on Rhodes but DiBiase hits Dream Streets on Michaels. Hunter and Ted brawl on the outside as Shawn and Cody lay in the ring. The legal men are both groggy and make it to their feet by the count of nine but seem to be holding each other up before out of nowhere, HBK hits Sweet Chin Music to give himself and DX a victorious return. I have to say that this was not at all the squash I was expecting. Rhodes and DiBiase come out of this looking better than they have done all year despite the defeat and more than matched Hunter and Shawn all night long. The match was very good and both teams had the ring psychology down to a tee. The match structure was a little odd on occasions however and brought down the overall score. CPR Rating: 8.5
Christian defeated William Regal in 0:08 to retain the ECW Championship
It is very nice to see Regal on PPV and he looks like he is moving in a very interesting direction with Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Koslov backing him up. The bell rings and as Regal is taking off his robe, Christian hits him with Killswitch and it is over almost before it begun. After the match, Koslov and Jackson come in and destroy the champ before Regal puts him in the Regal Stretch. The three men stand over the laid out Captain Charisma. Now on face value, this looks like another case of ECW getting screwed due to time constraints but assuming there will be a submission rematch at Breaking Point, this was a pretty good set up and actually will have me looking forward to an ECW match for the first time in quite a while. No rating as this was more of a segment. CPR Rating: N/A
Randy Orton defeated John Cena in 20:43 to retain the WWE Championship
We get to see the present and future of the company go one on one for the first time in a couple of years here and the crowd once again seem split down the middle when it comes to support. The early action sees Orton work a methodical pace and control Cena. It is so slow it often seems to be at a standstill. Randy uses his chin lock as duelling Cena and Orton chants break out. Cena eventually breaks the hold and unleashes some offence to the dismay on the crowd who are vocally behind the champion by this point. Orton counters an Attitude Adjustment attempt with a scoop slam and once again, the pace drops. Orton goes for a punt following a DDT but misses allowing Cena to hit a Throwback and a top rope Fameasser. Orton once again avoids an Attitude Adjustment and a double clothesline sees both men down. They get to their feet and trade blows back and forth and it is Cena who gets the upper hand. Orton, out of nowhere, pushes the ref and grabs his belt as the bell rings.
Lillian Garcia mistakenly announces Orton as the winner and still champion before saying she has just received word from Mr McMahon that the match should restart and if Orton gets disqualified, he will lose the title. A pissed looking Orton returns and is soon well and truly in charge of Cena once more. He leaves the ring, picks up his belt, walks away and gets counted out. Cena is declared the winner but Lillian also says that as per Mr McMahon’s orders, the match will restart and if Orton gets counted out again, he will lose the title. Orton gets back in the ring once more and a series of counters sees him pin Cena with his feet on the ropes. Voices plays but a second ref comes out and… you guessed it, the match is restarted once more. This time Cena immediately locks in the STF but a “fan” comes into the ring and smothers the ref. He is taken away by security and in the confusion, Orton leaves the ring. As the match gets restarted once again, Orton hangs Cena up on the ropes and gets in the ring to land an RKO and pick up the victory.
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???!!! This match went from snoozefest to clusterfuck and neither of the two sides of the tale were much better than Kane and Khali. The start of the match was just another in a long line of boring slow paced Orton matches and then they decided to string not one, not two, but three of “the most basic ways to keep your title” scenarios together. It was not a shock to see the restarts after the DQ and countout. The second ref telling the first ref about cheating is one of my biggest pet peeves in wrestling. If there is a ref watching backstage, why does he not come out for every contentious finish rather than once a year. We then get the “mystery fan comes in and gets involved” thing. Great originality guys. Heads need to roll on Raw and fast. That said, the crowd were seemingly well into this battle so I guess that the WWE will actually see this as a success. What I don’t get is if we need to see Orton as this much of a pussy, why do the company want him with the strap. The irony of it all is that while I get that Orton’s actions are meant to make him the hated, sneaky heel, he gets more of a pop that Cena. I think that liking the heels has just become the next big thing. As for Orton, something needs to change in his booking, promos and in ring style, but more on that later. CPR Rating: 5
CM Punk defeated Jeff Hardy in 21:34 in a TLC match to win the World Heavyweight Championship
Punk is out of the blocks a little quicker and they are soon to the outside where he nails Jeff with a chairshot. He goes straight for the title but Hardy knocks him off. Jeff in turn goes for a quick victory but is thwarted by Punk. The challenger then slams the champion into a chair and the match settles down with Punk in control. Jeff soon gets back into contention with a nice sequence on the outside which eventually sees him land a chairshot. The first table soon comes into play as Hardy sets Punk up and goes to the top rope but Punk gets out of the way at the last minute as Jeff crashes and burns. The action continues to ebb and flow as the spots and attempts at the title come thick and fast. We see Punk land a very stiff looking superplex onto a ladder and Hardy throw Punk from the ring, through a table on the floor. Jeff seems to flip out and unleashes a whole array of weapon shots, grabbing anything he can get his hands on to hit Punk with. This culminates in Jeff going up to the top of an outrageously massive ladder and hitting a sick looking Swanton Bomb onto Punk and through the announce table.
Jeff is placed in a neck brace and a stretcher as Punk gingerly makes his way into the ring. Jeff gets off the stretcher and Punk looks on in disbelief as the champ makes his way back into the ring. Both men climb the ladder and battle to take down the title. Punk however gets the upper hand and regains the World Heavyweight Championship. Punk celebrates with the title as the lights go out and we hear a gong. The Undertaker appears in the ring and hits the new champion with a chokeslam to set up what could be an intriguing feud. This was not the greatest TLC match ever but it was still a fun ending to a rather disappointing event. The final sequence on the ladder was a little tame after the massive Swanton spot but that can be forgiven. CPR Rating: 8.5
SUMMERSLAM CPR RATING (45/70) = 66
Overall, SummerSlam scored a B on the DaveyBoy Grade Scale which means the event was worth the money. I think that overall maybe that is a bit of an overstatement as I walk away from SummerSlam feeling a little disappointed. The return of DX was certainly fun and the main event was above average and included the return of the Deadman but all in all, the event was a bit anti-climatic in my opinion. Most of the card was as expected and nothing special really happened. The WWE Title scene sank to new lows after everyone seemed happy to see the back of Orton versus Triple H. I am once again really worried about the top end of the red brand and I really think it is time for a shake up.
I HEAR VOICES
I hear voices in my head
They council me
They understand
They talk to me
They do, do they Randal? In that case you need to fire those voices as they are making you one of the most generic, boring main eventers in WWE history. Last time out I talked about how CM Punk had won me over in recent weeks but over the course of this year, Orton is going in the other direction. Since his early days in the company, I was always a supporter of Randy when others were earmarking John Cena as having the brighter future and although I have yet to give up hope, I am starting to think that I may have to eat my words. Fellow LOP columnist Sean Taylor recently wrote a very good column (which you can check out >>>HERE<<<) about the poor state of Raw at the moment. He highlighted a lot of the problems with the red brand but I will take over where he left of because I believe that Orton is one of the biggest problems right now on Raw.
It seems to me that the WWE are trying to mould Orton into the new Triple H and whilst the two possess many similar traits, Orton just does not have the same impact as a Super Heel that the Cerebral Assassin has. Randy’s promos have been so monotonous since the day he kissed Stephanie McMahon. As the heel champion, we expect to see some hard hitting promos but all we get is the RKO-bot putting us to sleep quicker than Valium. Whereas Orton is very solid with his in-ring work, he is not the most innovative or exciting so rehashing the same match over and over again is never going to work for him. His weak booking is also going against him. I can understand that the WWE do not want Orton going over clean against the Super Powers of H and Cena but at least feed him a couple of midcarders to beat cleanly once in a while.
If you remember Orton’s first run as a face, you will know that is not the way to go for a change of character for Randy. He is a natural heel and that should not change for many years. It is not a big change that Orton needs, it is just a tweak that brings him back to the days where he was brilliant as the Legend Killer. I know that that particular gimmick will be a bit outdated now, but if there was more effort into making Randy into a superstar in his own right rather than a poor Hunter rip-off, the Raw brand as a whole may become a much more interesting place.
THE ROAD TO BREAKING POINT
Once again we have arrived at my final section which will be looking forward to the next PPV, Breaking Point. Although it sounds like a TNA event, it will be the next big date on the WWE calendar where supposedly all matches will be submission matches. I really really hope that this does not happen as it has the potential to really stink up the place. I mean lets face it, do you really want to see Mark Henry and The Big Show doing impressions of Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle?
A rematch between Cena and Orton has already been announced and it will be an I Quit Match. I dread to think of how bad that could turn out to be but hopefully it will end with Cena taking the strap. I think that DX against JeriShow is certainly a program that should be run down the line so it is a shame that the champs have been booked against MVP and Mark Henry. As Legacy were not squashed like many, myself included, thought they would be, I would not be surprised to see this feud go on another month. We also may get Kingston and Swagger for the US Championship on the red brand which could be a decent match up.
As for Smackdown, I am not sure that Ziggler and Rey has any more legs on it and it is high time that John Morrison got put into the mix. A face-face title match with Rey would be interesting, as would a non title encounter with Ziggler. As for the main event, Undertaker could well be the guy to establish CM Punk as a bona fide superstar. I will be looking on with great interest on how this feud goes.
Over on ECW, I am more interested than I ever have been about the third brand with the Regal-Christian battle. I hope that they don’t let it run out of steam on Tuesdays before making it to Breaking Point. As for the ladies, it seems that Mickie James is in the doghouse so a Raw PPV match is unlikely but I certainly would not mind seeing McCool and Melina go at it again after their impressive Night of Champions match.
So we have come to the end of another edition of The Current Paper Review. Feedback, as always, will be much appreciated and you can drop me an email here or pop by my feedback thread in the forums. I will be back next week with a Classic Paper Review with a special guest so keep and eye out for that. As usual, I will plug a couple of columns before I go. Thanks for reading and I will catch you next time.
