Posted in: The Classic Paper Review The CPR Presents: A View from Paradise - Vol IV - Get the 'F' Out
By Mazza
Aug 11, 2009 - 4:15:13 PM
VOL IV – GET THE 'F' OUT
Hello ladies and gentleman, this is your resident reviewer, Mazza but today I will be bringing you something out the ordinary. I know I was meant to be bringing you a Classic Paper Review this week but once again, work seems to be getting in the way of the fun but time consuming process of watching and reviewing old events. I guess a lot of you will not have read anything other than my reviews so this week I will leave my comfort zone and hopefully show you there is more than just one string to my bow as I bring you the fourth edition of A View From Paradise.
So after taking reviews off the table, I was still left with a whole realm of ways in which I could tackle this column. When I am doing my old reviews, watching one of my WrestleMania or Royal Rumble anthology sets, I find it quite annoying that the WWF Attitude Era logos are blurred out and the term “WWF” is censored. It then struck me that it is now seven years since World Wrestling Federation became World Wrestling Entertainment and I have decided it is now time to once again bring up why the name change took place.
WWF VERSUS WWF
The World Wildlife Fund is an environmental group that was established in 1961. The charity’s mission is “to halt and reverse the destruction of our environment" and their logo is that very cute Panda above. The company changed name to World Wide Fund for Nature but retained the recognition they had obtained with the WWF logo. Titan Sports adopted the name World Wrestling Federation and initials WWF in 1979 but there would not be an issue for another decade.
The problems started in 1989 when the World Wrestling Federation made a move to trademark the WWF name that was already owned but the Pandas. The two companies reached a deal where Vince and Company could continue to use the name under certain conditions but problems soon crept in again with allegations that World Wrestling Federation had not adhered to those conditions. In 2002 it was eventually ruled in a British Court that World Wrestling Federation had violated a 1994 agreement over the use of WWF initials, particularly in merchandising, overseas. The next day, World Wrestling Federation changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment.
The change took a hell of a long time for the fans to get used to. All the old logos were changed and the phrase “Get the F Out” was born. The WWE could continue using the name World Wrestling Federation as well as the original and New Generation logos but they would have to doctor all of the Attitude Era logos. They would also have to censor all references to WWF. The changes also cost the company millions of dollars but the McMahons looked at it as a new start.
The World Wildlife Fund often cited that being associated with professional wrestling would hurt their image. The two companies do not look like they share an affinity at first glance but the WWF would be well served to take a deeper look into the wild and whacky world of the World Wrestling Entertainment. It really is a jungle out there and maybe the Panda lovers could save a few careers that are on the endangered species list.
IT’S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
Welcome to the world premier of It’s a Jungle Out There, a new documentary that will be looking at the habits of the fauna in entertainment’s most treacherous and dangerous jungles. This week we will be taking a particular look at the Rawtona Jungle which is undoubtedly the most famous, but also regarded as the least interesting of the habitats we will be looking at. The Rawtona region is one where there is no room for error for the wildlife. There is not chance for second takes and the smallest error in judgement by a species can result in extinction. Just ask our first case as an example. Oh, that’s right, you can’t.
THE DOUBLE NAMED KENNETH
KENNETH KENNETHIS
The Double Named Kenneth (often referred to as The Kennedy) is one of the most recent species to have become extinct in the Rawtona Jungle. For a long time it looked like The Kennedy had all the tools to survive the tough terrain and one day maybe become king of the jungle. Unfortunately though, the blond-furred rather noisy mammal suffered numerous setbacks after migrating from the less hectic Smackola Downs. The Kennedy’s numerous and lengthy hibernation periods saw him lose savvy in Rawtona and as of a couple of months ago, there has been no sight or sound of the species.
There are however rumours that the Kennedy has been spotted in Orlando although these are yet to be confirmed. There are also rumours citing The Orton as the reason why The Kennedy no longer roams Rawtona. While on the subject of The Orton, we will now learn a little more about the dangerous leader of the Legasus family.
THE ORTON
Randolfo Ortona
The Orton has become one of the most feared animals prowling not only Rawtona, but the Earth. Ortons are often seen hunting in packs with other members of the Legasus family and evolution points to the family being direct descendents of the dinosaurs. There are many shared characteristics between The Orton and other Legasus members. They are conniving, intelligent, and have been known to put observers to sleep with methodical and boring mannerisms. All Legasus members are also asexual and Ortons has often been spotted fucking themselves.
The Orton’s rise to the top of the food chain is thought to have a lot to do with certain characteristics they picked up from The Helmsley. In recent times however, The Orton has been plotting the downfall of The Helmsley in a bid to become King of the Jungle. Despite getting away unscathed from many battles, The Orton has yet to be successful in achieving this.
THE LAREE
MICKUS JAMSUS
The Laree was one of the most sought after creatures in the Rawtona Jungle. Their captivating beauty has graced the scene for many years now but their magic is starting to wear off. Evolution has not been too kind to The Laree and although being the most dominant member of the Divos family, The Laree has become a more of a “cuddly” icon in the jungle next to the dazzling beauty and grace of The Maryse. The female Laree is also famous for a rather large and meaty set of flaps that protects their sexual organs.
THE HELMSLEY
PAULUS LEVESCUS
The final species we will be looking at today is the King of Kings of the Rawtona Jungle. The Helmsley is often referred to as The Aitch (and incorrectly referred to as The Haitch) and has asserted its position at the top of the food chain over many years. They are also believed to have connections to the jungle Gods. A cerebral beast, The Aitch is thought to have made its way to the top at the expense of many extinct and endangered species. The Kane, The Jericho, The Vandam, The Bookah and The Big Pupapump are all believed to have been victimised by The Aitch.
Threats from The Orton and The Cena have done nothing to slow down The Aitch’s dominance as Aitches have become smarter over the years. The Aitch’s influence across the jungle is also key in their status as they boast allies with species such as The Hickenbottom and The Bautista. Members of the environmental group, IWC believe that
The Aitch is undeserving of its place as the most important animal in the jungle but many experts believe that The Helmsley will remain at the helm for many, many years.
This brings us to the end of the first episode of It’s a Jungle Out There. Please tune in next week when we will head to Smackola Downs where the constant hibernation of The Edgewood leads to an often volatile environment as species strive for power. Good night.
WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT
I’m sorry, I have no idea what happened there. It looked like some obscure TV show took over my column for a while. Never mind, I shall just carry on if I can remember what I was talking about. That’s right, the change from WWF to WWE.
When the name change was made on the 6 May 2002, Hulk Hogan was WWF/WWE Champion. That last token run he was given following the reaction his WrestleMania 18 bout against The Rock received was for me really the end of the glory days of the Attitude Era. Steve Austin would never hold the WWE title and The Rock would only go on to have one brief spell. The WWE has failed during the last seven years to bring us quite the same level of entertainment that it gave us during to the 3 to 4 years prior to the name change.
The Cenas and Ortons of this world have never quite lived up to the heights of the Rocks and the Stone Colds and despite their efforts, Triple H and The Undertaker lose a step with every year that passes. Despite my criticisms of today’s product, the WWE still has a lot of the same things that I loved with the WWF. I have watched the product now for twenty years and if there is one thing I have learnt about Vince’s company, it is that it is full of ebbs and flows and although we are not seeing the WWE/F’s greatest days, who knows just when the next Hogan or Austin will step up and capture the imagination of the fans once again.
That brings me to the end of this edition of A View From Paradise. I hope that you have enjoyed my break from the norm but if not, do not fret, I shall be back after SummerSlam with the Current Paper Review. Feedback, as always, will be much appreciated and you can drop me an email here or pop by my feedback thread in the forums. Before I go I will plug a couple of the titles that are currently heating up the Columns Forum. Thanks for reading and I will catch you next time.
