Posted in: The Classic Paper Review The Classic Paper Review - Vol XVII - One Night Stand 2006
By Mazza
May 18, 2009 - 12:46:25 PM
Vol XVII – One Night Stand 2006
Guess who’s back? Back again. Only me, good old Mazza bringing you the 17th edition of The Classic Paper Review. Judgement Day has come and gone and I am desperately trying to stay spoiler free. Something you may or may not know about me is that I actually live on a small island in the Indian Ocean called Mauritius. It really is a beautiful place and I would recommend a holiday here. Hold on, I am still in the opening paragraph and already getting side tracked. So anyway, due to my geographical positioning, it makes watching wrestling quite tricky and as such, I only get to watch PPV on a Tuesday.
That’s enough about me for now as it is time to get on with the show. I have decided to not go too far back this week and since I have started this series, I have had a couple of requests to review One Night Stand 2006. There was a whole lot of hype surrounding this PPV and it was a pretty fun time to be a wrestling fan.
THE FACTS
As usual, all facts and figures are from Wikipedia.
The Event: One Night Stand 2006
The Date: 11 June 2000
The Place: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York, New York
The Attendance: 2,460
After the success of the original One Night Stand event a year early, many began to feel nostalgic about the glory days of ECW. It was not too long until it was announced that WWE would be bringing back ECW as its own brand and there was a feeling of excitement about what would happen. As it turned out, the old ECW would remain dead but the anticipation in the lead-up to this event, and the first episode of “WWECW” (which would air two days later), was fever pitch.
The main feud for the event was between Rob Van Dam and John Cena. Following RVD’s victory in the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 22, the WWE was touting him as the greatest wrestler never to win the big one. On the other side of the equation, we had the company’s top face, who was beginning to receive mixed reactions from crowds across the country. A few weeks prior to the event, ECW Original Van Dam announced that he would cash in his MitB briefcase on home turf, at One Night Stand against WWE Champion Cena. Over the next few weeks the tension between the two mounted in the lead up to the event.
The other main feud going into the event revolved around Edge, Mick Foley, Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. A bitter feud between Edge and Foley looked to have culminated in a brutal hardcore match at Wrestlemania 22. A rematch however was signed in May but this time it would be a triple threat involving Dreamer. Foley, impressed with the show that Edge has put on at Mania, turned on Dreamer and a partnership was born. Funk would be the next to feel the wrath of Edge and Foley and eventually a tag team match was made for One Night Stand.
The World Heavyweight Championship would be on the line with Rey Mysterio defending his title against Sabu in what was billed as a cream match. Kurt Angle and Randy Orton would also continue their feud after both were on the losing end of a triple threat match for the same title at Wrestlemania.
IF CENA WINS, WE RIOT
The night gets underway with Paul Heyman cutting a promo both thanking and hyping up the already excited pro-ECW crowd.
Tazz defeated Jerry Lawler in 0:35
Before the event, there was a WWE versus ECW feud going on which included Paul Heyman trying (and succeeding in some cases) to convince WWE roster members to join his new ECW. The bad blood also spilled over to the announce tables and Lawler’s taunts towards ECW brought Tazz out of retirement for the night… well barely. Tazz comes out to a huge ovation and on Lawler’s entrance, he turns his attention to Joey Styles at the announce position and proceeds to give him one of the funniest slaps you will ever see. The King slowly makes his way to the ring and as the bell rings, Styles jumps him from behind. Lawler shakes him off and sets him up for a piledriver but Tazz locks in a Tazzmision from behind, choking the King out. After the match, Styles and Tazz return to the announce table to call the rest of the show. This really was more of a segment than a match but it was highly entertaining and a great start to the night. CPR Rating: N/A
Kurt Angle defeated Randy Orton in 15:07
Paul Heyman’s biggest coup came about when Kurt Angle agreed to join ECW. At Mania, Angle had lost the World Heavyweight Championship to Rey Mysterio in a triple threat match with Orton giving up the pin. There had been bad blood between the two since with Kurt kafaybe breaking Randy’s ankle. Orton returned to accept Angle’s open challenge for a match at One Night Stand. The crowd are definitely on Angle’s side and Orton does a good “elitist heel” job of getting them riled up a bit more. Kurt controls the match early on with mat wrestling and Orton stalls by constantly going to the outside. Angle soon taunts Randall by asking him to put him in a headlock and then countering each time he does.
Orton finally gets the upper hand when Angle misses a shoulder charge into corner and hits the steel. Orton is methodical in his attack and feeds off the “you can’t wrestle” chants. The slow pace continues before we get a few teased finishes. Kurt hits the Angle Slam for a two count and Orton gets his own near fall with a neck breaker. Angle then twice counters RKO attempts but eventually gets the victory by locking in a grapevined Ankle Lock for the submission. Orton keeps his heat very much alive after the match by insisting that two referees help him to the back. This match was overly long as the first ten minutes or so was very slow. The back end of the match was better with counters and false finishes but overall it was a little disappointing for a Kurt Angle match. Kudos to Randy Orton however for doing a great job dealing with the crowd. CPR Rating: 6.5 (Coefficient 2)
The F.B.I. (Little Guido Maritato and Tony Mamaluke) (With Big Guido) defeated Yoshihiro Tajiri and Super Crazy in 12:24
Next on the card is some ECW Originals in action. Mamaluke and Crazy start out the match with some nice back and fourth action. Both men tag out and Tajiri and Little Guido (Nunzio) get to show what they can do. The action breaks down pretty quickly and all four men get involved. Both FBI members get put into a tree of woe and taste dropkicks to the head. The FBI then try to walk away but get hit on the outside by a Super Crazy springboard moonsault. The momentum switches though as Crazy gets attacked by Big Guido on the outside. The FBI work over Crazy but he eventually makes the hot tag to Tajiri who unleashes a host of kicks. The action breaks down once more and the FBI taste double Tarantulas and Crazy and Tajiri then take out Big Guido with a double dropkick. Crazy is then sent into the crowd by a Little Guido dropkick and the FBI then pick up the victory by hitting a double fisherman suplex on Tajiri from the top rope. After the match, ECW’s new signing, The Big Show comes down and takes out all five men. This match was always interesting without ever really being exciting. All four men did a pretty decent job but none of it was quite as smooth as it could have been. CPR Rating: 6.5 (Coefficient 1)
Before the next match, JBL appears on the balcony and cuts an absolutely amazing promo shitting on the ECW wrestlers and fans. He also announced that he would be the new Smackdown announcer, now that was a great move.
Rey Mysterio fought Sabu to a no-contest in 9:10 in an Extreme Rules Match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
High flying, spots and weapons would be the order of the day in the WHC match. Mysterio comes to the ring avoiding a lot of the big name heat due to his short but impressive run in the original ECW. Oh and the fact that he was wearing an ECW mask. Seriously, is this guy capable of doing anything even remotely heelish? During the introductions, both men are holding chairs and even super face Mysterio has a lot less cheers than the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal Sabu. The action is high paced from the get-go as both men use chairs as springboards. Sabu nails Rey with a chair and does not hesitate to set him up on a table between the ring and ring barriers but Rey gets out of harm’s way in time.
Both men then go for high-flying, high-risk moves until the action settles down for a moment with a camel clutch by Sabu. He then hits an Arabian Facebuster for a two count before Rey Rey lands a seated senton through a table and appears to legitimately hurt Sabu’s throat. Sabu is able to carry on and the high paced action continues. The finish comes when Sabu once again sends Mysterio onto the table set up between the ring and the barrier. Sabu then springboards from a chair and lands a DDT that sends both men crashing through the table and with both men down, the match is ruled a no-contest to chants of “Bullshit” from the crowd.
Both men get helped to the back after the match. I am not a big fan of Mysterio but this was very very good. The participants seemed to have great chemistry together and it was actually a shame it did not last a bit longer. CPR Rating: 8.5 (Coefficient 3)
Mick Foley, Edge and Lita defeated Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicutty in 18:45 in an Extreme Rules Intergender Tag Team Match
ECW’s fans still had a great amount of respect for Foley so he cuts another great promo before the match to get the heel heat back on him before introducing Edge, who continues the hot promo streak for the night and even Lita has a go on the mic. Funk and Dreamer come out accompanied by Beulah McGillicutty, Dreamer’s former woman. She trashtalks Lita and then challenges her to make the match three-on-three. Edge and Dreamer start off the match and after a quick feeling out process, Foley and Funk are tagged in. A moment later all four men are fighting on the outside and Dreamer goes after weapons. Foley gets a trashcan in the face via a Dreamer baseball slide and Edge soon gets hiptossed into a ladder. Funk then takes out both of his opponents with ladders and then climbs the ladder but it is pushed over by Edge.
With Foley and Edge in control, they drag a board covered in barbed wire from under the ring and nail Dreamer with it. They look to used it again but Funk grabs both WWE guys’ ankles and it falls onto Foley. Mick’s pain is far from over yet as Dreamer and Funk then throw him into the board but Funk soon gets a taste of the weapon-du-jour as well. Foley then goes to work on Funk’s face with a handful of barbed wire which results in Funk being helped to the back. Dreamer is now vulnerable and getting triple teamed in the ring with a barbed wire covered baseball bat now in play and Lita uses it to on Tommy’s dreamers. A concerned Beulah looks on and Foley pulls out Socko and locks in the Mandible Claw on her. Edge then nails Dreamer with a spear but decides not to go for the cover and stalks Beulah. He sets her up for a pumphandle slam as a bandaged up Funk returns from the back with a barbed wire 2x4 in hand. As Foley and Edge get ready for Funk’s return, they get caught with a double low blow from Dreamer. Funk then goes to town on both men with the 2x4. He sets it on fire and lands a blow to Foley which sends him crashing through the barbed wire board. Funk looks down at Foley but he meets the same fate as Edge pushes him off the apron.
In the ring, Dreamer nails Edge with a DDT and starts to choke him out with barbed wire. Lita makes the save and Beulah enters to start a cat fight. Tommy hits a Dreamer Driver on Lita but Edge takes out Dreamer with the barbed wire. He then lands a spear on Beulah and picks up the victory with the greatest cover in the history of wrestling.
After the match, Edge pulls Foley out of the barbed wire and escorts his friend and his girl to the back as a bleeding Funk is cut out of the barbed wire. He eventually leaves the ringside area with Beulah and Dreamer to a standing ovation. This match was a bit messy throughout but was highly enjoyable. Funk, Foley and Dreamer were all just a little bit past there best but they still managed to pull out plenty of “Holy Shit” moments. The finish was absolute gold and Beulah and Lita certainly added to the match despite spending much of it on the apron. CPR Rating: 9 (Coefficient 2)
Balls Mahoney defeated Masato Tanaka in 5:03 in an Extreme Rules Match
We now come to our second throwback match of the night. They start out by tapping hands in a sign of respect. Tanaka starts off in control showing some nice offence before walking into a powerslam from Balls who has the crowd eating out of his hand. They head to the outside where Mahoney uses cups of beer as weapons before Tanaka returns the favour. After a little action in the ring, both men get their hands on chairs and they both try to get the upper hand. Balls eventually does so with a sick chairshot to Tanaka’s head and that is all she wrote. I never watched ECW the first time around and so I am not sure if this managed to capture the spirit of the old days. It was okay for what it was and Tanaka certainly looks like someone who can go in the ring. CPR Rating: 6.5 (Coefficient 1)
Before we get to the main event, Eugene makes an appearance saying how he loves ECW and then recites a poem to the irritation of the crowd. He is stopped in his tracks as The Sandman makes his way through the crowd. Eugene tries to befriend The Sandman but all he gets is a beat down with a Singapore cane.
Rob Van Dam defeated John Cena in 20:41 in an Extreme Rules Match to win the WWE Championship
Van Dam comes out first to a wall of noise before Cena arrives to immense heat which he milks to the max. Cena does his shtick of throwing his t-shirt into the crowd but chants of “throw it back” result in the t-shirt continually returning. This happens four or five times before Cena eventually gives up and the bell rings to start the match. Cena really seems in his element as “you can’t wrestle” chants ring out and every piece of RVD offence is cheered whilst Cena offence is booed. “Same old shit” chants see Cena go to the top rope as he attempts to fight fire with fire and we get some hardcore action on the outside and into the fans. When they get back into the ring, Van Dam takes control and chair assisted drop kicks to the face and rolling thunder get two counts. RVD goes to the well once more with a split-legged moonsault but Cena gets his knees up and then gets his own two counts with a DDT and slingshot into the chair.
Cena now takes control of the match with the occasional flurry of offence from Van Dam until he eventually gets back in the bout with a dropkick to the floor. Van Dam then introduces a table to the ring but gets caught with in an STFU but eventually makes it the ropes. Cena is slow to break the hold and an argument with the ECW referee results in Cena nailing him with a clothesline before hanging RVD up on the top rope. Cena then nails Van Dam with the ring steps and a WWE ref comes down to make a two count. Out of nowhere a man in a bike helmet comes down, spears Cena through a table and takes out the WWE referee. The man takes of his helmet and it turns out to be Edge, and the crowd that hated him earlier express their gratitude. RVD gets back in the ring to see the carnage and hits Cena with a 5-Star Frogsplash. RVD frantically tries to revive the ref to no avail but Paul Heyman comes down to make the three count. RVD celebrates with the fans on the balcony before being joined in the ring by the ECW roster.
This was a strange old match. It had a great finish and the crowd participation was sublime throughout but the action was hit and miss. Cena was brilliant in handling the crowd and this certainly added to the overall match rating. CPR Rating: 8.5 (Coefficient 3)
THE VERDICT
Overall I have given One Night Stand 2006 a CPR Rating of 79%. This alone is a very good rating and that is not taking into account some great and memorable promos that took place at the event. The action was patchy but the novel crowd reaction certainly helped to make this a very strong PPV. A lot of credit has to go to John Cena, and to a lesser extent Randy Orton, who did a great job in dealing with the partisan crowd. Van Dam would go on to blow his big opportunity after being caught with weed and getting suspended. I can’t help but wonder if the fact that the new ECW did not live up to expectations had anything to do with the highest profile ECW Original not being anywhere near as reliable as the likes of Super Cena. I guess that is a column for another day.
MISSED OPPORTUNITY
If only… There are so many moments when wrestling fans will say these words because let’s face it, we are all Russo wannabes at heart. When John Cena first came into the WWE, I was really impressed with his charisma and mic skills. Much like the Rock before him, his initial clean cut babyface push was abandoned and as a heel, he talked such a good game that the face pops followed. Eventually there was no choice for the WWE but to turn him face but throughout 2003 he was clearly on his way to big things as a heel.
As a budding smark, I was really into this brash young upstart with a talent for freestyling and as a hip hop fan, I really wanted to see some high profile rappers involved in wrestling. In my mind, there was nobody in the world of hip-hop who would be a better fit with the WWE than Marshall Mathers. Just imagine this as part of an already stacked Wrestlemania 19 card…
In theory, an appearance by Slim Shady at Wrestlemania would have been money in the back for Vince and as a wrestling fan, I am sure Mr Mathers would have a price to make a cameo in the WWE. I am certain that it would have done a lot more for buy rates and media exposure than Mickey Rourke did and would probably have brought the company a lot of new fans. I do believe this has to go down as a missed opportunity on the part of the WWE but the question is could it have really worked?
I think that it could have but there are a lot of variables into making it worthwhile for all the parties involved. First things first, I highly doubt that little Em could convincingly look like a threat to John “Genetic Freak” Cena in a wrestling match. I mean it was hard to take Floyd Mayweather seriously next to The Big Show and he is a world class boxer. Time has shown that Cena can carry lesser workers to a decent match despite his own “short-comings” but to do so whilst he was still green with a non-wrestler would be asking too much. That would leave one direction that the angle could have gone in.
A rap battle between the world’s most famous rapper and a cocky young wrestler on the biggest wrestling show of the year would have been the right direction. The problem would be there is no way that Eminem could risk being perceived as the loser. As amusing as Cena’s raps were, he would only have two hopes of beating Em in a rap battle, no hope and Bob Hope. Even so, in a business where image is everything, I doubt Mr Mathers could have run that risk and so it would have had to be scripted. I think the best way would have been for Eminem to go first, Cena to be lost for words, go to rush Em and get hit with a sucker punch.
At Wrestlemania 20, Cena was still sporting the rapper gimmick, albeit this time as a face and it was also the second year in a row where Vince could have tried to convince Eminem to make a Mania appearance. Now we would be in a different area where it would be counter productive for Cena to come off looking weak. My initial reaction would be that it could not work but Hustle gave me an interesting thought. They could have had Cena respectfully call Eminem out and Mathers could have cut a few promos leading to a battle at Mania. As they prepare to duke it out lyrically, The Big Show (who Cena was feuding with at the time) could come out and make some remarks about both men. Cena and Em could have then teamed up to freestyle on Show who would attack but get taken out with a double team effort.
I remember at the time of one of these Manias (I can’t remember which) it was rumoured that WWE and Eminem were in discussions and eventually there was talk of Em’s D12 buddy, Proof making an appearance. Obviously no deal was made but it is a plausible chain of events. Despite his “Don’t Give a Fuck” demeanour, Mathers has always done a good job of treading very carefully to maintain his credibility in the rap game. It would be possible that he could take some heat for being part of a “fake fighting” angle which would be less the case for his pal, Proof. Most in hip hop circles would tell you that Proof is a better freestyler than Em but when crossing over, standing and image is everything. Despite being numerous guys on the roster today with better technical skills, Cena is the poster boy for the WWE and as a result, he is the man who will garner more exposure in other areas of entertainment. As good as he was, Proof would not have increased buy-rates and it is feasible that negotiations eventually broke down. At the end of the day though, I don’t think that an appearance at Wrestlemania 19 or 20 would have hurt Eminem and it is a shame a deal was never made as either one of these scenarios would have produced a truly memorable Wrestlemania Moment.
RELAPSE
Whilst on the subject of Eminem, he was in London (Rey Rey mask too) promoting his new album, Relapse. If you are not a fan, here is the moment to skip forward to the final paragraph but if you are a fan, here are my brief thoughts on the album following my first listen.
1. Dr. West (Skit) 2. 3am – Typical serial killer Em lyrics over a typically simplistically brilliant Dre beat. 3. My Mom – Typical mom-dissing crazy Em lyrics over a typically simplistically brilliant Dre beat. 4. Insane – “Then he played ping-pong with his own ding dong, that motherfucker’s got nuts like King Kong”. Enough said. 5. Bagpipes from Baghdad – Filler but a strangely enchanting beat. 6. Hello – A little lacklustre for me. 7. Tonya (Skit) 8. Same Song & Dance – This is my dance song flashback. 9. We Made You – Catchy and really fun. Obvious choice for a single. 10. Medicine Ball – Another hot Dre beat but not Em’s best work. 11. Paul (Skit) 12. Stay Wide Awake – The flow and the beat compliment each other to perfection. It screams volume up whilst going for a cruise. 13. Old Time’s Sake (Feat Dr. Dre) – Obligatory collab with Dre. Pretty good but there is better on the album. 14. Must Be The Ganja – More of the same crazy Em. 15. Mr. Mathers (Skit) 16. Déjà vu – This song made me drift off. 17. Beautiful – This seems like one of those songs that will get better and better the more you listen to it. Could become one of my favourites like “Superman”. 18. Crack a Bottle (Feat Dr. Dre and 50 Cent) – The big single, the party track and wrestling lyrics to boot. Pretty good but it is not as hot as the usual Aftermath lead off songs. 19. Steve Berman (Skit) 20. Underground – Another catchy tune before we are taken to the end with good old Ken Kaniff (from Connecticut). Anybody know SkittleZ’s real name???
Overall this was a pretty good album. There was a certain simplicity to it all. All but one of the tracks (Beautiful) was produced by Dr. Dre and Dre and 50 were the only two artists to feature. Em spitting on Dre beats is a great combination but it did keep a lot of the songs sounding similar. So to sum up, it is great to have Eminem back but just don’t expect anything as ground breaking as The Slim Shady LP or The Marshall Mathers LP.
And one more column is behind me. For those of you who are not big rap fans, do not worry, I am not intending to do a series of album reviews so you will be safe next time out when the The Classic Paper Review returns with a yet to be decided event. If you have any suggestions for PPVs or feedback, you can email me here or drop by my feedback thread in the forums. A big shout out to JoeyShinobi who hooked me up with the Eminem versus Cena graphic. I look forward to checking out his live Judgment Day review tomorrow. Thank you all for reading and as always I will leave you with a few suggestions for a great read in the Columns Forum:
