Posted in: The Classic Paper Review The Classic Paper Review - Vol XVI – Royal Rumble 2000
By Mazza
May 4, 2009 - 9:13:33 AM
Vol XVI – Royal Rumble 2000
Welcome ladies and gentleman, my name is Mazza and this is the 16th edition of The Classic Paper Review. In case you were wondering, I am not one of those writers who is scared of certain numbers (Hi Hustle and Leonard) but CPR15 is a review of the CSI tournament and if you are interested, you can check it out >>>here<<<. Whilst on the subject, the tournament which started in January, is finally over and I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate the winner… me. I finally saw off the challenge of Sean Taylor in a really tight final round by 60 points to 59.
I really mulled over what event to review this week but in the end I decided that I would have to defend one of the greatest eras in wrestling history. Last time out I reviewed the 1999 King of the Ring which really was not the greatest advert for the Attitude era so this time I have fast forwarded a few months to the first WWF PPV of the new millennium. Hopefully this will be a bit better.
THE FACTS
As usual, all facts and figures are from Wikipedia.
The Event: Royal Rumble 2000
The Date: 23 January 2000
The Place: Madison Square Garden, New York, New York
The Attendance: 19,200
By 2000, the WWF were well and truly in control of the Monday Night Wars and even the absence of Steve Austin would not slow them down. Well before they were married in real life, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H took part in a kafaybe wedding. This was a great storyline where Steph was meant to marry Test but at the ceremony, Hunter showed footage of him getting married to a drugged Steph at a drive through chapel in Las Vegas. In a match against Vince McMahon, Hunter won a title shot where if he had lost, he would have be forced to have an annulment. After the match, it was revealed that Stephanie really was in cahoots with Hunter and the McMahon-Helmsley Regime was born. Hunter went on to win the WWF championship on the 3rd January against The Big Show and the Regime went on to target Mankind. They would humiliate Foley and then fire him for questioning Hunter and Stephanie’s actions. The Rock would lead the locker room in threatening to walk out if Foley was not reinstated and the Regime had no choice but to adhere to his request. A match between Mankind and Hunter was set for the Rumble but after suffering a beat down at the hands of the Regime, Foley decided that he would have to reintroduce his violent alter-ego, Cactus Jack to compete with The Game.
The build up to the Rumble match saw The Rock and Big Show both claiming they would win. Tension between the two would mount and Kane would also add his name to potential winners by outlasting both men in a triple threat, over the top rope, lumberjack match. There was controversy surrounding the Intercontinental Championship heading into the event with Chris Jericho and Chyna both being recognised as champion. This stemmed from a match where they pinned each other simultaneously and were both declared the winner.
READY TO RUMBLE
Tazz defeated Kurt Angle in 3:16
The night started with undefeated rookie, Kurt Angle generating good heat in MSG by slamming the Knicks. His mystery opponent is revealed to be The Human Suplex Machine, Tazz making his WWF debut. Tango Man catches Angle offguard but Kurt takes control with a suplex on the floor. It is the first of many as the men put on a suplex masterclass during a short back and forth match. The end comes way too quickly as the Olympic gold medallist passes out in the Tazzmission. Angle is stretchered out afterwards. This match really needed more time but what we were treated to was highly impressive. CPR Rating: 7.5 (Coefficient 1)
The Hardy Boyz defeated the Dudley Boyz in 10:18 in a Tag Team Table Match
The Dudleys come out and follow Kurt’s lead in “Heel Heat 101” by targeting sports teams. The Hardys can’t even make it down the short MSG entrance ramp before The Dudleys cut them off. It does not take long until there are tables and chairs everywhere and the first spot sees Jeff do his run along the guardrail but Bubba holds up a table as Jeff crashes and burns. The Hardys soon find their weapon of choice, the ladder, as we get an early glimpse of the TLC’s that teams would make famous. Bubba is soon the first to go through a table as Matt, from the ladder and Jeff, from the top rope send him crashing through the wood. The Hardys then go to work on D-Von as they set up a table between the ring and the steel steps. They set D-Von up but he moves and Matt crashes through the table alone as Jeff goes through one of his own attempting and missing a suicide dive. The Dudleys then even the tie up by powerbombing Matt from the top rope through a table. The action then spills into the crowd area and the Dudleys set two tables on top of each other beneath an exit. They set Matt up on top and Bubba goes to the top of the exit as he prepares to jump off. Jeff manages to save the day by hitting a low blow as Matt starts to stir. Matt gets out of the way just in time as two chair shots send Bubba off the exit and through both tables. Matt then sets D-Von up on another table and Jeff nails a Swanton from the top of the exit to send D-Von crashing through the wood for the victory.
This was a real taster for things to come with the infamous triangle ladder match only a couple of months away. If you love the spot monkey, you will love this. CPR Rating: 8 (Coefficient 1)
Next on the agenda is a rather disturbing Miss Rumble 2000 bikini contest with a host of Hall of Famers as judges and The King as emcee. The CPR will now rate the contestants in terms of yumability.
Ivory – Surprisingly, not bad but a little too muscular - CPR Rating: 5
Terri – Butter face - CPR Rating: 7.5
Jacqueline - Tittiliscious - CPR Rating: 7
B.B. – She scares me - CPR Rating: 6
Luna – I’ve done worse - CPR Rating: 2
Miss Kitty, The Kat – Very cute but not much of a bod - CPR Rating: 7
The contest is then interrupted by Mae Young who dances around and exposes her puppies before Mark Henry comes down to cover her up. The judges announce Mae as the winner.
Chris Jericho defeated Chyna and Hardcore Holly in 7:30 in a Triple Threat Match to retain the Intercontinental Championship
Before the match, Jericho and Chyna argue about who should be holding the title as they go to the ring and the ref eventually decides to take it for them. Jericho cuts a promo on his way to the ring and delivers all his classic Y2J lines, I miss old Jericho. The match starts by Holly pushing Chyna and Jericho defending his co-champion. Y2J and Holly fight it out for a bit but when Jericho locks in the walls, Chyna returns to break it up. We then get some 3-way action which sees Jericho take out Holly, who is on the floor, from the top rope. Hardcore then tries to live up to his name as he stalks Chyna with a chair. Jericho makes the distraction long enough for the Ninth Wonder of the World to dropkick the chair into Holly. Y2J and Chyna then both go to the top and hit splashes on Holly but realising they were both pinning him, they break the cover. The co-champions then battle it out with Chyna hitting a low blow. She then hits a Pedigree on Holly for a two count. Jericho soon sets Holly up for a superplex but Chyna takes out both men’s legs resulting in an uncomfortable landing on the turnbuckle for both. Chyna then hits a superplex on Holly but somehow it is Holly who gets the cover for another two. The finish comes when Chyna hits Holly with a chair and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Y2J breaks it up and hits the Lionsault on Chyna to become sole champion. This was an okay kind of match which flowed well although nothing special occurred. At least it got the strap off Chyna. CPR Rating: 7 (Coefficient 2)
The Rock cuts a promo saying how he is worried about the challenge of Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh in the Rumble match. When Michael Cole suggests that he should be worried about The Big Show, Rocky says that Cole should be concerned with fixing himself a nice tall glass of shut-up juice. He then guaran-damn-teed victory.
The New Age Outlaws defeated The Acolytes in 2:35 to retain the WWF Tag Team Championship
The Outlaws were reunited and champions once again as part of DX and The McMahon-Helmsley Regime. The Acolytes had become number one contenders at the Rumble by winning a tag team tournament. The Outlaws do their shtick on the way to the ring and the Acolytes go straight after the champs as Bradshaw and Faarooq get the early advantage. Bradshaw soon hits Road Dogg with a Clothesline from Hell but Billy pulls the ref out of the ring before he could get to three. Dogg then gets a powerbomb but with the ref down, X-Pac comes to the ring but is hit with a spinebuster for his efforts. As Bradshaw goes to work on Dogg once more, Gunn sneaks back in and hits Faarooq with a Fameasser for the victory. This was short and a little clustered but a great job at telling a story by both teams. CPR Rating: 7 (Coefficient 2)
Triple H (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) defeated Cactus Jack in 26:51 in a Street Fight to retain the WWF Championship
Foley comes out to a huge ovation and Hunter to a mixed reaction before he sends Stephanie to the back. The match starts out as it will go on, as a straight-up brawl. Cactus doesn’t take long to bring the action to the outside but The Game takes control with a shot with the ring bell followed by a sick chair shot in the ring. Cactus is not down for long though and hits a leg drop with a chair onto Hunter’s face. They are soon fighting into the MSG crowd and trashcans, bricks and pallets are used as weapons with Cactus in control. Back in the ring, the 2x4 in barbed wire makes an appearance but it is The Game who manages to use it with shots to Foley’s back and midsection. He then goes for the head but Cactus counters and hits a low blow and double arm DDT for a two count. The ref had hidden “Barbie” but Cactus retrieves it from the Spanish announce team. Hebner then tries to stop Jack from using it and gets a Triple H high knee for his troubles before The Game gets Barbie straight in the head, busting the champ open for a long two count. Foley then works over the Game’s face with the barbed wire before setting him up for a piledriver on the announce table. Hunter manages to save his skin by reversing it into a backdrop.
In the ring, Cactus reverses a Pedigree attempt into a slingshot before nailing a bulldog into the barbed wire onto the profusely bleeding Helmsley. Somehow the Game gets his shoulder up again but gets back into the match by taking out Foley’s knee on the ring steps before hitting it with Barbie. Hunter then handcuffs Cactus’ hands behind his back and takes full control of the fight. He proceeds to unleash a flurry of chairshots to Foley before The Rock comes out to even up the odds with a chairshot of his own to the Game and the handcuffs are taken off. Cactus gets a new lease of life and hits a piledriver on the Spanish announce table and back in the ring, Foley introduces a bag of thumbtacks. A worried Steph makes her way to ringside as Foley is thwarted in trying to send Hunter into the tacks as he hits Cactus with a backdrop. He then hits a Pedigree but Foley manages to kick out to Hunter’s frustration and a huge pop from the New York crowd. Their joy is short-lived however as The Game nails a second Pedigree onto the tacks for the victory.
After the match, Triple H is receiving medical attention but Foley brings him back to the ring and nails him with Barbie one last time. This really was one of the greatest hardcore matches in WWE history. Excellent storytelling and some sick bumps and shots as the action did not let up for 25-plus minutes. I challenge any Hunter-hater to watch this match and question The Game’s position in the company. CPR Rating: 9.5 (Coefficient 3)
The Rock won the Royal Rumble Match in 51:49
The Rumble starts out with D-Lo Brown and Grand Master Sexay, Brian (Lawler) Christopher and we get a display of over the top head and body movements. Headbanger Mosh is next out followed by unofficial entrants, Kaientai who are thrown out pretty quickly. Christian is next, followed by Rikishi who dominates proceedings. He quickly disposes of Mosh, Christian and D-Lo before Christopher tries to convince his buddy Rikishi not to fight. The buzzer goes and Scotty Too Hotty is next out and Too Cool gives us a dance before Rikishi eliminates his pals. Here is a pic just for anonymous.
Rikishi remains dominant and eliminates the next two entrants, Steve Blackman and Viscera before the match settles down when the Bossman takes his time to enter the ring, slowing down Rikishi’s momentum. Test, The British Bulldog, Gangrel, Edge and Bob Backlund are the next men to join the party as the ring starts to fill up. During this time, Kaientai tried their luck once more resulting in a hilarious bump to Taka as he hits his face on the mat whilst being eliminated. With seven guys in the ring, the smaller six gang up to eliminate Rikishi and end one of the most dominant runs in Rumble history. The IC champ, Jericho is the next out and he quickly eliminates Backlund with a beautiful dropkick. Crash Holly and Chyna soon enter the match and Chyna goes after Jericho, eliminating him with a suplex before the Bossman knocks her off the apron.
Faarooq enters next but The Mean Street Posse follow him down and he is also eliminated by the Bossman. The Road Dogg and Al Snow soon enter the fray and in a battle of the dogs, Road Dogg eliminates the British Bulldog. The ring starts to get a little packed as Val Venis and Prince Albert come in at numbers 20 and 21 and Val and Snow combine to eliminate Edge. We are now getting to the business end of proceedings as Hardcore Holly enters followed by The Rock to a huge pop from the crowd. The People’s champ makes an immediate impact by eliminating the Bossman before Billy Gunn comes in and targets Rocky. The Rock soon eliminates Crash Holly and The Big Show comes in at number 26, immediately getting rid of Test and Gangrel. Bradshaw is next out and once again, The Mean Street Posse try to initiate an Acolyte 3-on-1 beat down. Bradshaw takes control of them but the Outlaws sneak up from behind to eliminate Mr Layfield. Kane comes in at 28 and eliminates Venis and Albert before the The Godfather and X-Pac come in as the final two participants.
The busy ring soon starts to get less crowded as Snow eliminates Holly, Show eliminates The Godfather and The Rock eliminates Snow. Billy Gunn then sneakily eliminates his tag partner before getting knocked out himself by Kane. The final four are Kane, Show, X-Pac and the Rock. The Outlaws pull Kane out under the ropes and with the refs trying to break up the fight, they do not see Rocky eliminate X-Pac. Once order is restored, the four men battle it out in the ring and X-Pac eliminates Kane before Show, in turn eliminates Waltman. The Rumble comes down to The Big Show and The Rock and both men hit big moves with a People’s Elbow and a chokeslam. The Show then goes to throw Rocky out but as he does, The Rock holds onto the rope sending Show crashing to the floor.
The Big Show would later claim that Rocky’s feet hit the floor but The Rock was announced the winner. After the match, Show comes back to throw The Rock out of the ring. Although this was far from the most exciting Rumble ever, it was still action packed and gripping. My only gripe was there was not much in the way of storylines going on throughout the match. CPR Rating: 8.5 (Coefficient 3)
THE VERDICT
Overall I have given the 2000 edition of the Royal Rumble a CPR Rating of 81%. After reviewing King of the Ring the last time out, I can finally show the Attitude era in a positive light. This really was a very strong PPV with an excellent world title match. The Rumble match itself was not the greatest but even a below average Rumble makes for an above average match. Despite a couple of the matches being very short, none of them were bad. Even Mae Young’s breasts could not put a major dampener on the event.
PARENTAL GUIDANCE NECESSARY
A highlight of the 2000 Royal Rumble and the Attitude era was the hardcore action and the risqué segments. During the Monday Night Wars, the WWF left their family programming in a bid to compete with WCW. The antics of Stone Cold Steve Austin, DX and the divas were key in Vince McMahon eventually putting an end to Ted Turner’s threat. Fast forward to 2009 and the WWE are currently serious competition free. Unfortunately for a lot of us fans, they have also gone back to a PG-rated product. Now whilst I understand that a lot of this is due to pressure from networks and keeping younger fans watching, the tameness of big matches in bitter feuds is leaving me quite disappointed all too often.
First I will take a look at the recent Last Man Standing match between Edge and John Cena from Backlash. People are already screaming “match of the year candidate” and the accolades are well deserved. The Big Show throwing Cena into a spotlight was a shocking, high impact finish but things like this were a regular occurrence during the late 90s and early 00s. As for the Vickie-Show-Edge love triangle, it has nothing on Mae Young and Mark Henry bringing a bouncing baby hand into the world. The feud between the Hardy Boys has disappointed a lot of people. I do have to wonder how much the WWE’s restrictions have hurt Team Extreme in producing a potential feud of the year candidate. Neither brother is ever going to be above average on the mic but an Attitude version of this feud would have seen these guys get a lot more creative in promos. Could you imagine Matt having Jeff’s dog stuffed and bringing it to the ring? Much more interesting than showing the dead dog’s collar. As for in the ring, these guys really needed to go back to their TLC roots and blood, sweat and tears needed to be shed to really put them over. Their match at Backlash was a big disappointment and I truly believe that if they were allowed a little more creativity, they could have put on quite a show.
Finally, let’s look at the feud that has dominated WWE programming for the last couple of months. Orton and Hunter have shown flashes of the old WWE with home invasion and woman beating on the agenda but good old Stone Cold would have got a lot more medieval on McMahon asses. I mean seriously, if he really wanted to get Hunter mad, a kidnapping of Stephanie and the Levesque rugrats would have been much more appropriate.
I am not angry about the whole family friendly programming and I have come to peace with the fact that the edgy entertainment of the Attitude era is a thing of the past. Keeping it clean on Raw and Smackdown is a logical choice but I just really wish that when it comes to PPV’s, the WWE would not be afraid to break a few announce tables and spill a little blood. After all, it is what helped them become the sole survivors of the Monday Night Wars.
And that ladies and gentleman, is number 16 in the bag. I’ll be back soon with another edition of the The Classic Paper Review. As always, feedback good or bad is always very much appreciated so feel free to email me some here or leave me some in my feedback thread in the forums. Thank you all for reading and if you are member of the forums, please check out the funniest promos thread in general wrestling. I may look at making this into a column sometime in the future. I will leave you with a few well deserved plugs of some great CF columns.
